Jessica's myth

[roger]

First I want to say to the administrators that if this post violates the policies of this website, because I'm using somebody's name, I sincerely apologize. People here mention names a lot, so I thought it would be okay.

 

There was this woman I used to know, named Jessica Smyth (that's how her name was spelled, but it's pronounced the same as Smith), and she had a certain extreme tendency, which I call 'Jessica's myth'.

 

She was the queen of 'attacking' others in the guise of self-love.

 

The idea that attacking others can be a form of self-love is Jessica's myth.

 

Think about it. How many times have you either been unkind to another, or had another be unkind to you, and the unkindness passed as 'self-love'?

 

Well, fortunately, an act of love is either loving towards EVERYONE, or towards NO ONE.

 

That's part of the nature of love - it honors everyone.

 

You can't love yourself at the expense of another, or another at the expense of yourself.

 

That's justice.

 

Do YOU believe in Jessica's myth?

[Marblehead]

5 hours ago, roger said:

You can't love yourself at the expense of another, or another at the expense of yourself.

 

 

I agree with this 100%.  

 

And I like to add that we cannot truly love another until we have accepted and love ourself.

 

[sagebrush]

yes I agree with that part about loving oneself first before another.(thinking it will come from another)

the rest of the myth I do not agree with-

yes I disagree with myths by smyths.

 

you can't take the idea of love or actions that may or may not be loving and head it under the name of Jessica.

 

your example actually makes fire for me.

 

just the opening line about apologizing to the administrators about using a name......

 

and the statement about extreme....

do you want to discuss extreme in another thread FRED?

 

is that unloving? my post? am I allowed to feel mad

 

Edited September 14, 2017 by sagebrush

[thelerner]

16 hours ago, roger said:

First I want to say to the administrators that if this post violates the policies of this website, because I'm using somebody's name, I sincerely apologize. People here mention names a lot, so I thought it would be okay.

 

Maybe it does.  Too early in the morning to look up details. 

More to the point, I understand wanting to use her example to make a larger point but using a persons name, right down to reminding people your spelling it correctly, in order to shame them** in a public arena, shows negative, clingy intent on your part. 

 

My two bits as a member not a mod is your post would work fine using only the first name. 

 

 

addon>

**Marblehead- I didn't feel there was any shaming going on there.  Just statements of facts as he understood them. 

Me> solid point. 

[Marblehead]

I didn't feel there was any shaming going on there.  Just statements of facts as he understood them.

 

But I do agree with thelerner's last paragraph.

 

I doubt anyone but Roger can relate the name with a living person.  I feel this does NOT violate any of the forum's rules.

 

 

[silent thunder]

I have a rather profound connection to this through the experiences of my wife.

 

My wife's parents tortured her throughout her childhood... for her own good. 

 

You know... to toughen her up.  For her own good.  Because they loved her.

In their broken and profoundly sick perceptions, this was a good thing they did.

They consider themselves the height of parenting accomplishment and care.

 

They toughened her up for the horrors of the world, by submitting her to horror throughout her childhood.

In their minds... it was loving preparation.

 

As with all things regarding truth.  This could not remain hidden permanently.

 

When my wife's memories eventually surfaced, we removed the people who gave birth to her from our sphere of influence, never to be allowed near again.

 

And then grieving and healing began. 

 

For all she endured, for all the pain inflicted, they could not break her loving, soft and nurturing nature and she remains a loving, kind, soft and nurturing Mother, Wife and Human. 

 

Others cannot determine your state of beingness, unless you agree to it. 

Jessica's Myth is hers, not yours, or mine, or ours. 

 

 

[allinone]

19 hours ago, silent thunder said:

I have a rather profound connection to this through the experiences of my wife.

...

 

 

 

I wonder you really think that it won't occur again? but in a way that you can't predict or avoid it because its something you haven't noticed while being under the torment(action). The situation can be different but the feelings can be same, so the tormentous feelings you gonna feel again and again, perhaps produced by your own children to you, when they won't come home and not tell you where they go so you worry your eyes out.

 

Right torment is pure action. Go through it enough times the "darkness suffering" will gladden up and you even can make fun of it, then more pain start again, more issues over things you don't understand, more pain.

 

anyways, maybe you have some weird ideas what love is. Love is a feeling. Feeling is a sensation of space, it doesn't happen in any place, it is not personal nor it comes from somewhere.

wife you have is appearance. There is countless copies, exactly same. lalalala

 

I feel love pretty much every week, and on a different waifu. So not gonna fail on actually marry to someone to that feeling, i know ahead that i gonna cheat every other day. lalala

[allinone]

OP, You speak from a point like you are being shot in a leg, walk now like a lame, can't take the suffering of being lame, and you want that others would connect to you and feel the disgust?

 

?

[allinone]

my issue is i am a traitor. I told it so it makes my rants even.

[Stosh]

To know what things mean to Jessica , I think we would need accurate disclosure from her about it , or we would just be guessing. But to someone she is a problem for , I think it would make sense to leave her to her mechanisms and their consequences. 

Its just as possible she gets a kick out of her behavior, simple as that. 

It rains, and you can stand out there getting wet , because you have concocted some happy resolution for the water, or you can get an umbrella. My guess is that you might like to play some positive role , and get some positive feedback in return, or barring that as a reasonable expectation, you might like to see validation for your views in the guise of karmic justice. 

Just walk away, and look for nice people to be nice with. 

 

[ljazztrumpet]

I'm new here and I don't mean any offense, I mean I'm here as well, but isn't this forum exclusively populated by male spiritual/metaphysical geek types? The only way Jessica would find out about the debate on myths from smyths is if Roger was to let her know. It's not like Jessica's girlfriends are going to 'tweet' her and be like, 'OMG, do you know what people are saying about you on The Tao Bums?' 

 

Also, anyone who thinks self-love can take the form of attacking other people are not doing to be interested in a group like this - whether man or woman! 

[ljazztrumpet]

1 hour ago, Stosh said:

Just walk away, and look for nice people to be nice with. 

Stosh, that's crazy talk - Where are you coming up with these ridiculous ideas? 

[ljazztrumpet]

22 hours ago, silent thunder said:

You know... to toughen her up.  For her own good.  Because they loved her.

In their broken and profoundly sick perceptions, this was a good thing they did.

They consider themselves the height of parenting accomplishment and care.

 

Even parents with much more wisdom and very good hearts are still not going to be at the 'height of wisdom', just because they decided to bring a life into a world where so much suffering exists. It's much to your wife's credit that she was able to overcome these more extreme challenges. I mention it because I have a very good friend who had a similar childhood and was able to overcome it in similar ways to your wife. But it is certainly unusual in my experience for most people to be able to do this.

 

BTW, some of the very nicest, kindest, and wisest parents I have met are the ones that have chosen to adopt. They want to take care of children who have already been born into a suffering world to make their lives better.

[Stosh]

3 hours ago, ljazztrumpet said:

Stosh, that's crazy talk - Where are you coming up with these ridiculous ideas? 

What I consider wise , ,Isn't exactly rocket surgery. 

[Marblehead]

But knowing Roger, he may have made up the name.  He used Jessica because he love Jessica Alba and Smyth because he wants Jessica Alba to be British.

 

[sagebrush]

I find all of this incredibly weird.

 

no clue

Edited September 16, 2017 by sagebrush

[Fa Xin]

Sounds like my girlfriends mom. 

[Fa Xin]

10 hours ago, ljazztrumpet said:

 

BTW, some of the very nicest, kindest, and wisest parents I have met are the ones that have chosen to adopt. They want to take care of children who have already been born into a suffering world to make their lives better.

I feel like people who adopt should be given an award of coolness. 

[Marblehead]

7 hours ago, Fa Xin said:

I feel like people who adopt should be given an award of coolness. 

Yeah, as long as they don't make the kids live in a closet.