Mark Foote Posted April 30, 2012 feel the tumblers place spin the di-al it will start five, seven, five, yes? feel the tumblers place eek out a meagre living says the wise ol' geek says the wise ol' geek there's nothing to it, just touch- feel the tumblers place feel the tumblers place spin the di-al it will start five, seven, five, yes? five, seven, five, yes? five will get you ten, oh yes no one has to know Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mark Foote Posted April 30, 2012 (edited) feel the tumblers place eek out a meagre living says the wise ol' geek says the wise ol' geek there's nothing to it, just touch- feel the tumblers place feel the tumblers place spin the di-al it will start five, seven, five, yes? five, seven, five, yes? five will get you ten, oh yes no one has to know no one has to know the calypso orchid bloomed way back in the woods Edited April 30, 2012 by Mark Foote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mYTHmAKER Posted April 30, 2012 feel the tumblers place eek out a meagre living says the wise ol' geek says the wise ol' geek there's nothing to it, just touch- feel the tumblers place feel the tumblers place spin the di-al it will start five, seven, five, yes? five, seven, five, yes? five will get you ten, oh yes no one has to know no one has to know, and everyone has to know. my sky is falling... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Apech Posted April 30, 2012 no one has to know, and everyone has to know. my sky is falling... my sky is falling... and the lines are repeating read the last post, please! :lol: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mark Foote Posted May 1, 2012 my sky is falling... and the lines are repeating read the last post, please! read the last post, please grab the grub, and head for home way back in the woods Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
noelle Posted May 9, 2012 read the last post, please grab the grub, and head for home way back in the woods way back in the woods where great teachers living loyal, patient and naive... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Apech Posted May 9, 2012 way back in the woods where great teachers living loyal, patient and naive... Ok its got to be 5.7.5 syllables so I'm going to change it slightly ... way back in the woods where great teachers are living loyal, patient, naive. (here I'm taking loyal to be one syllable ....as in 'loil' and not 'loy - al') loyal, patient, naive. I waited in the garden, dawn came but not you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
noelle Posted May 10, 2012 (edited) Ok its got to be 5.7.5 syllables so I'm going to change it slightly ... way back in the woods where great teachers are living loyal, patient, naive. (here I'm taking loyal to be one syllable ....as in 'loil' and not 'loy - al') Thank you, Apech 'where great teachers are living' it is much better. : ) I am not fluent in English, I do often make errors in Englsh. This is about Haiku syllables ; 5.7.5 or 5.7.5.7.7 But 5.7.5 syllables rhythem were naturally formed by the characters Japanese has. 芭蕉野分 (ばしょうのわき) して 盥(たらい) に雨(あめ)を 聞(き) 夜(よ)かな -Basho- The above Basho's haiku is formed by 8.7.5 - 字余り (means more syllables) also there are poems formed by 字足らず - (less syllables) 群（むら）がれる 5. 蝌蚪（くわと）の卵に 7. 春日さす 5. 生まれたければ 7. 生まれてみよ 6. - 宮 柊二 - I agree it's better trying to keep the rule. But I believe that true sense of Haiku is to express your words in heart in brief,...so we can be a bit freer from Haiku syllable rule, 5.7.5... : ) dawn came but not you. clothes were wet with dew, it soaked into heart. Edited May 10, 2012 by noelle Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Taomeow Posted May 31, 2012 glimmers in moonlight saw the owl had caught the mouse it's time had run out. "Its time had run out," my grandfather's clock said. "Whose?" "The world's. Tic, tac, stop." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mark Foote Posted June 1, 2012 (edited) "Its time had run out," my grandfather's clock said. "Whose?" "The world's. Tic, tac, stop." the world's. Tic, tac stop. plunged headlong into deep water eyes open gone- gone Edited June 1, 2012 by Mark Foote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Apech Posted June 1, 2012 the world's. Tic, tac stop. plunged headlong into deep water eyes open gone- gone eyes open gone- gone merge with nothing, nothing is merged. No horizon. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mark Foote Posted June 4, 2012 eyes open gone- gone merge with nothing, nothing is merged. No horizon. merged. No horizon. And now the darkness of day shines the light of night Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Apech Posted June 4, 2012 merged. No horizon. And now the darkness of day shines the light of night shines the light of night beside my bed, so monsters hide in the shadows. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mark Foote Posted June 5, 2012 shines the light of night beside my bed, so monsters hide in the shadows. hide in the shadows under the waves, below ground propping up the sky Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Apech Posted June 5, 2012 hide in the shadows under the waves, below ground propping up the sky propping up the sky was a chore in olden days but that's just hot air. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mal Posted June 11, 2012 propping up the sky was a chore in olden days but that's just hot air. but that's just hot air the dried leavings of dead men seen for what they are Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thelerner Posted June 11, 2012 but that's just hot air the dried leavings of dead men seen for what they are seen for what they are we chuckle at the old myths clinging to our own Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Apech Posted June 11, 2012 seen for what they are we chuckle at the old myths clinging to our own clinging to our own or touching someone else's could be arrested. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mark Foote Posted June 12, 2012 (edited) clinging to our own or touching someone else's could be arrested. could be arrested at any time, this old beater dried leaves, dusted bones Edited June 12, 2012 by Mark Foote 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
noelle Posted June 12, 2012 could be arrested at any time, this old beater dried leaves, dusted bones dried leaves, dusted bones I've gotten old enough to know, "they are beautiful!" 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mark Foote Posted July 8, 2012 dried leaves, dusted bones I've gotten old enough to know, "they are beautiful!" "they are beautiful!" the spent roses seemed to hear suddenly transformed 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
noelle Posted July 16, 2012 "they are beautiful!" the spent roses seemed to hear suddenly transformed suddenly transformed rain, heat, wind, storm, thunder, snow... on the way of home. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Harmonious Emptiness Posted July 17, 2012 suddenly transformed rain, heat, wind, storm, thunder, snow... on the way of home. On the way home wind wakes tired limbs, with new ease taste, smell, be, the breeze Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
