The more you try to be good, the more bad will follow

[TheCLounge]

One of the biggest conundrums I've encountered in my 27 years of life are "characteristics". They never made sense to me. 

 

We claim someone to be good, until we see something bad. Then some will try to flip it, OR to make matters worse they would try to "measure" their actions and judge them according to what "appears" to be good or bad. It's a never ending cycle of self righteousness and hypocrisy.

 

I remember someone once told me that I was a kind hearted person. But if I refuse to give that homeless person my pocket change, am I now unkind? Some people call me mature, but if I do something immature, am I no longer mature? Where are these standards coming from? It's all ego based..

 

There are no personality character traits in my opinion. It's all neutral and flows in different directions. Like light to a prism. It's all light, until you add whatever color you want to it.

 

The only thing I see is enlightenment. Enlightenment to me is simply "the I am". In other words, "it is what it is"...and it is whatever you make of it.

 

Growing up kids used to judge me. They would say I was "cocky" and stuck up. And this was all before theyve even attempted to have a conversation with me. So to alleviate their impression of me I would "try" to "appear" humble. The issue only got worse. Instead I was seen as a liar and a phony. And I admit, I was. 

 

I never understood why we as people use labels to describe others. My biggest mistake is letting others use those labels against me. But then again, maybe I'm just as stuck up as they claim me to be...

 

the more you you try to be good, the more bad will be reinforced. You need positive in order to have negative. You need North in order to have South. The more you walk East, the more expansive will you see West. Is there a right and a wrong? That depends on the person..

 

But one thing is for sure. None of us wants to be trapped...None of us wants to live without living..

Edited November 17, 2017 by TheCLounge

[Marblehead]

I agree with you but I still like to use labels.  They offer points of reference.

 

And dualities are a part of the human experiences.  Lao Tzu told us that.

 

It is extremely difficult to have no opinions of our own.  That is, to be beyond good and evil - beyond right and wrong.

 

But I agree with you that we should be our natural self.  When we are born we are neither good or evil, we just are - a blank slate.  Our teachers will determine, in the most part, who we become.

 

 

[Stosh]

40 minutes ago, Marblehead said:

I agree with you but I still like to use labels.  They offer points of reference.

 

 

  

[Stosh]

The sun shines on the wicked and the just alike.

Since there is no static version of you , whatever labels someone used were somewhat correct and incorrect at all times.

You couldn't consider the labels incorrect, if you didn't have an opinion of what the correct label would be , Right? 

Lets say you trend towards being stuck up , well , is that really such a bad or unusual thing? In light of all the traits you could show? 

I think not , plenty of folks get through life like anybody else does , despite the characteristics , which they occasionally exhibit , called foibles. 

People think I am cocky sometimes , so , I tend to play that up till they feel more insecure about themselves ,

I know , I know, its a bad habit , but its like a consolation prize for labeling me. 

 

On the other hand , maybe they aren't so far off the mark , and I can live with that too. 

 

[silent thunder]

we are flowing, fluid verbs

not static nouns

 

always flowing

[TheCLounge]

Labels reflect those labeling you.

 

The issue is you will never know the true essence of the person until you let go of what you perceive them to be.

 

Not saying that they're aren't any people in the world who aren't cruel hearted. But at the end of the day, they're still human like everyone else.

 

I believe labels are ego based. Nothing wrong with ego btw. As it serves a gateway to the soul. Problem is we focus more on the ego than the soul itself, and that's when issues arise. 

 

I see people and their actions as they simply are, whether it is perceived as good or bad. But I feel it would be impossible for me to "label" THEM. 

 

Like silent thunder said. We are flowing verbs

 

 

Edited November 17, 2017 by TheCLounge

[TheCLounge]

2 hours ago, Marblehead said:

I agree with you but I still like to use labels.  They offer points of reference.

 

And dualities are a part of the human experiences.  Lao Tzu told us that.

 

It is extremely difficult to have no opinions of our own.  That is, to be beyond good and evil - beyond right and wrong.

 

But I agree with you that we should be our natural self.  When we are born we are neither good or evil, we just are - a blank slate.  Our teachers will determine, in the most part, who we become.

 

 

I believe in duality. But I believe they are connected instead of separate.

[TheCLounge]

1 hour ago, Stosh said:

The sun shines on the wicked and the just alike.

Since there is no static version of you , whatever labels someone used were somewhat correct and incorrect at all times.

You couldn't consider the labels incorrect, if you didn't have an opinion of what the correct label would be , Right? 

Lets say you trend towards being stuck up , well , is that really such a bad or unusual thing? In light of all the traits you could show? 

I think not , plenty of folks get through life like anybody else does , despite the characteristics , which they occasionally exhibit , called foibles. 

People think I am cocky sometimes , so , I tend to play that up till they feel more insecure about themselves ,

I know , I know, its a bad habit , but its like a consolation prize for labeling me. 

 

On the other hand , maybe they aren't so far off the mark , and I can live with that too. 

 

Loved everything about your post 

[thelerner]

We all howl at the moon sometimes.  Caught at the wrong moment we are at our worst.. random factors align and people lose it.  Often on others who don't deserve the attitude.  Knowing that it happens and cutting ourselves and others some slack, seems an essential skill in life. 

 

Without a constant flow of forgiveness, we'd carry too much mental weight. 

[TheCLounge]

1 minute ago, thelerner said:

We all howl at the moon sometimes.  Caught at the wrong moment we are at our worst.. random factors align and people lose it.  Often on others who don't deserve the attitude.  Knowing that it happens and cutting ourselves and others some slack, seems an essential skill in life. 

 

Without a constant flow of forgiveness, we'd carry too much mental weight. 

I believe forgiveness is the ultimate skill anyone can learn

 

 

[Marblehead]

2 hours ago, TheCLounge said:

I believe in duality. But I believe they are connected instead of separate.

I agree with your belief.  Different points on a line.  Ultimate good vs ultimate bad and all points between the two ultimates.

 

But again, I think it is best to be beyond the two extremes whenever possible.  That is, conditions without valuing.  Just the "what is".

 

[Pavel Karavaev]

On 17.11.2017 at 6:51 AM, TheCLounge said:

the more you you try to be good, the more bad will be reinforced. You need positive in order to have negative. You need North in order to have South. The more you walk East, the more expansive will you see West. Is there a right and a wrong? That depends on the person..

 

It is because of Yin and Yang principle. The things must balance each other.

Here is a good parable about it (one of the many):

 

"The Keeper of Animals under King Hsüan, of the Chou dynasty, had an assistant named Liang Yang, who was skilled in the management of wild birds and beasts. When he fed them in their park-enclosure, all the animals showed themselves tame and tractable, although they comprised tigers, wolves, eagles and ospreys. Male and female freely propagated their kind, and their numbers multiplied.

The different species lived promiscuously together, yet they never clawed nor bit one another.

The King was afraid lest this man's secret should die with him, and commanded him to impart it to the Keeper. So Liang Yang appeared before the Keeper and said: 'I am only a humble servant, and have really nothing to impart. I fear his Majesty thinks I am hiding something from you. With regard to my method of feeding tigers, all I have to say is this: when yielded to, they are pleased; when opposed, they are angry. Such is the natural disposition of all living creatures. But neither their pleasure nor their anger is manifested without a cause. Both are really excited by opposition.

'In feeding tigers, then, I avoid giving them either live animals or whole carcases, lest in the former case the act of killing, in the latter the act of tearing them to pieces, should excite them to fury. Again, I time their periods of hunger and repletion, and I gain a full understanding of the causes of their anger. Tigers are of a different species from man, but, like him, they respond to those who coax them with food, and consequently the act of killing their victims tends to provoke them. This being so, I should not think of opposing them and thus provoking their anger; neither do I humour them and thus cause them to feel pleased. For this feeling of pleasure will in time be succeeded by anger, just as anger must invariably be succeeded by pleasure. Neither of these states hits the proper mean. Hence it is my aim to be neither antagonistic nor compliant, so that the animals regard me as one of themselves. Thus it happens that they walk about the park without regretting the tall forests and the broad marshes, and rest in the enclosure without yearning for the lonely mountains and the dark valleys. Such are the principles which have led to the results you see.'"

[Ad_B]

Labels are indeed a point of reference and in social bonding they can be used for either accepting or 'othering' people either into or out your group.

 

It took me a while to work it out and God bless the internet but I always, ever since childhood and as a social defence mechanism, presented (what I fondly imagined to be) a 'blank slate'.

 

Of course, by doing this you invite people to write upon it and that writing tells you about them and its not always pretty poetry. Of course we also have a face and a frame which betrays our blank slate and tells people about who and how we are without any words being exchanged...people were often afraid of me I found out despite I would never do harm, but in retrospect I'd also have been afraid of me.

 

Thus the wisdom of giving them something to work with became apparent but 'they' are not everyone but those who I've read can be considered as 'young souls' who at any earthly age are quite immature and require those 10,000 things we read of. The 'old souls' don't need this stuff and couldn't care less for social selection or its things which could indeed be seen as being stuck-up and aloof but really we're just operating at a different level of consciousness though perhaps not particularly wisely.

 

When the O.P got labelled, I'll bet that there was a pre-existing clique or group that was deciding (unbeknownst to the O.P) upon his/her worthiness of association and that the leader was either threatened by something about the O.P or disgusted and so the dismissive labelling libel...I'll bet myself a glass of Ginger wine.

 

Re: the "No good turn goes unpunished". Its funny 'cos its true. The amount of times I've done what I considered to be a good turn and almost immediately got a slap down from karma or whatever it is.

 

In retrospect though that good turn was often just interfering or whats become known as 'white-knighting' and usually accompanied a bit of pride or subconscious expectation of karma kudos or heaven points which brings us into the highly contentious realm of unseen, unknown supernatural forces...spooky!