The Importance of Working on Weaknesses

[Geof Nanto]

In this competitive world of ours – and especially in politics at all levels, including interpersonal – showing weakness can be fatal.  However, from on a whole of life perspective it’s essential; vital for personal growth.  

 

I gained this insight from a teacher who was emphatic about the necessity of paying particular attention to weaknesses because these are what hold us back. He explained how we’ll always have our strengths and our natural inclination is to use them to progress in life and to hide our weaknesses not only from others but from ourselves as well. It’s this latter tendency that is fatal for inner growth; indeed, for mental, emotional and physical health in general. And truly, from my experience our deeper weaknesses are so well hidden we don’t even know we have them. They lie hidden, distort our perceptions and sabotage wellbeing.   

 

It was my shiatsu teacher who told me this many, many years ago. As well as the gift of shiatsu, he also introduced me to Qigong and qi based food theory. All these have proved vital foundational practices for commencing the process. For me, it’s been a slow and emotionally fraught – but ultimately profoundly rewarding – journey of uncovering deeper layers. I could never have sustained it without the support of various teachers, my Daoist based praxis, and people I’ve been close to along the way. (I write this as someone who has spent decades working through weaknesses. I’ve been gifted / burdened with plenty!) 

 

Edited December 16, 2017 by Yueya

[liminal_luke]

A Bum started a thread awhile back inviting people to share stories of regret, times they did "something bad" and took steps to correct the mistake.  Nobody really bit, not even the OP, with the possible exception of TheLerner who admitted to eating a whole sausage pizza by himself.  We don`t much like talking about our weaknesses, at least not here.

 

I get it.  This place can be tough, and I`d prefer my fellow bums think I`ve got it all together. Public forums are arguably not the best place for no-holds-barred soul searching.  Still, I hope that all of us have somewhere to go where we can be more forthright about our weaknesses as well as our strengths.  If we can`t bring our less than admirable qualities into the light of awareness, what chance do we have of improving ourselving? It takes courage to look unflinchingly at our imperfections, especially if we do so in the presence of another person.  To admit weakness requires and shows uncommon strength.  Who among us has the superpower of humility?

 

  

Edited December 16, 2017 by liminal_luke

[Rara]

Generally yes, the outside persona shows strength and power as a front. I have to play this silly game to show I'm in control, even though I could be equally as in control without putting on the voice and throwing in the lingo to the bosses.

 

However, it's not ALL like this within society and corporate structures. In business training, I have always been advised to do "SWOT analysis" and share these with mentors or even peers. That stands for "Strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats". It's a way for us to identify not only what we do well, but also what we don't, and how to turn those weaknesses into strengths and threats into opportunities.

 

Ok, so these are specific practices that probably only a small percentage of people get taught. And mentorship and counselling in itself shows a form of "weakness" to the outside world. This is a shame, because all these are are forms of training. Imagine if a football team didn't train to work on their weaknesses!

 

I was on anti-depressants once. I told a friend, and he said "there's nothing to be ashamed about". Well, the thought of being ashamed hadn't crossed my mind until he mentioned it!

Edited December 16, 2017 by Rara
Poor grammar

[C T]

For a long time, I had struggled with this apparent conflict that seems to beset most of us. 

 

Then, after investing some years in routine meditation practice of just resting in mind's primordially perfect nature, I came upon the understanding of thusness. This insight is predicated on the premise that perception, any perception at all, happens thru the senses, and these senses are by default tainted by the gross and subtle accumulation of thought patterns and habits that follow on from these patterns.

 

The realisation of thusness comes when overwhelming dependence on the senses is loosened or removed. This does not imply that the senses are bypassed (ignored) on the way to being real, which is impossible but yet remains something that many still doggedly attempt to do by employing various means, like resorting to substance abuse for example - in actuality, it is to manifest a state of being that does not identify with whatever is perceived via the senses as belonging to a 'me'.  From this realisation onwards i came to taste a kind of freedom that had eluded me for a long long time, the kind that enables an awareness to instantly recognise that the true cause of discontent are not hardships, problems, perceived layers of weaknesses and mental and physical agitation, but at the root of all of this was a lack of intelligence in fully adapting to and integrating the wisdom of not-self, aka thusness. This wisdom and the constant communion with the pervasively pure, self-perfected inner nature of mind is realised as arising spontaneously, whereas before the realisation, it always seem to be a such an immense struggle to try and use one to reach the other. 

[moment]

Is learning in the context of our aging and its' revealing of weaknesses the true fountain of youth?

[liminal_luke]

5 hours ago, C T said:

For a long time, I had struggled with this apparent conflict that seems to beset most of us. 

 

Then, after investing some years in routine meditation practice of just resting in mind's primordially perfect nature, I came upon the understanding of thusness. This insight is predicated on the premise that perception, any perception at all, happens thru the senses, and these senses are by default tainted by the gross and subtle accumulation of thought patterns and habits that follow on from these patterns.

 

The realisation of thusness comes when overwhelming dependence on the senses is loosened or removed. This does not imply that the senses are bypassed (ignored) on the way to being real, which is impossible but yet remains something that many still doggedly attempt to do by employing various means, like resorting to substance abuse for example - in actuality, it is to manifest a state of being that does not identify with whatever is perceived via the senses as belonging to a 'me'.  From this realisation onwards i came to taste a kind of freedom that had eluded me for a long long time, the kind that enables an awareness to instantly recognise that the true cause of discontent are not hardships, problems, perceived layers of weaknesses and mental and physical agitation, but at the root of all of this was a lack of intelligence in fully adapting to and integrating the wisdom of not-self, aka thusness. This wisdom and the constant communion with the pervasively pure, self-perfected inner nature of mind is realised as arising spontaneously, whereas before the realisation, it always seem to be a such an immense struggle to try and use one to reach the other. 

 

From a certain spiritual perspective, everything is as it should be.  I am perfect just as a am and always have been.  This is true.

 

From a certain psychologiscal/energetic perspective, I`m kind of a mess.  Sometimes I`m depressed, sometimes anxious.  My physical body is far from perfect as evidenced by both western medical tests and Chinese pulse diagnosis.  This is also true.

 

Familiarity with the first truth is key to deep acceptance of the second.

[C T]

23 minutes ago, liminal_luke said:

 

From a certain spiritual perspective, everything is as it should be.  I am perfect just as a am and always have been.  This is true.

 

From a certain psychologiscal/energetic perspective, I`m kind of a mess.  Sometimes I`m depressed, sometimes anxious.  My physical body is far from perfect as evidenced by both western medical tests and Chinese pulse diagnosis.  This is also true.

 

Familiarity with the first truth is key to deep acceptance of the second.

 

evidently so, liminal. 

yet, from one standpoint that is fundamental to the philosophy which I adhere to, there is no denial of imperfection, nor of static perfection - instead, there is a continuum of causality where one is free to identify with in various degrees, or not - it is the strength of identification, and oftentimes repulsion, that determines various states of mind, ranging from absolute despair all the way through to perfect peace, and whereby the self, when looked for in this spectrum, is nowhere to be found as existing independently. Certainly, there are conditions which bring about dissatisfaction, depression, anxieties, questions of self-image, abuse, and so on, but in none of these conditions is a solid self to be found, unless of course there is a conscious choice which insists upon owning these seemingly limiting states of being by way of contrasting these against their opposite ideals which are seemingly more satisfactory. It is this owning that creates contraction which forces a 'self' into existence. 

Edited December 16, 2017 by C T

[Jetsun]

1 hour ago, liminal_luke said:

 

From a certain spiritual perspective, everything is as it should be.  I am perfect just as a am and always have been.  This is true.

 

From a certain psychologiscal/energetic perspective, I`m kind of a mess.  Sometimes I`m depressed, sometimes anxious.  My physical body is far from perfect as evidenced by both western medical tests and Chinese pulse diagnosis.  This is also true.

 

Familiarity with the first truth is key to deep acceptance of the second.

 

Yeah I would say it is a lifetimes work (or maybe surrender) to integrate the two, to bring that peace to all of those places which aren't on board yet and still exist in struggle and a sense of separation.

[Lost in Translation]

It's not easy to see one's own weaknesses. We have so many built in defenses against this kind of introspection. That's why it's good to have trusted friends who can act as impartial counselors. Sometimes you can only see your flaws in the reflection of another person's eye.

 

But it takes a certain strength to give criticism of that sort. It takes even more strength to receive it. It's far easier to yell, puff our breasts and feel superior or to deny, deflect and place blame.

 

I was watching a video from BBC about animals. It showed them going about their day to day activities - running, climbing, swimming, flying, eating, mating, fighting, birthing, and dying. We do the same. We're no different.

[C T]

There is one obvious difference between animals and humans - tendencies. Human consciousness have ingrained tendencies to identify with perceived shortcomings, usually with unsatisfactory outcomes, whereas animals lack this function, even though within their consciousness is found significant degrees of instinct and intelligence. 

[Rara]

6 minutes ago, C T said:

There is one obvious difference between animals and humans - tendencies. Human consciousness have ingrained tendencies to identify with perceived shortcomings, usually with unsatisfactory outcomes, whereas animals lack this function, even though within their consciousness is found significant degrees of instinct and intelligence. 

 

Hmmmm, I don't know about this. I mean, biologists may have been able to run studies about this but we can't know for sure, right?

[C T]

2 minutes ago, Rara said:

 

Hmmmm, I don't know about this. I mean, biologists may have been able to run studies about this but we can't know for sure, right?

 

What is meant is that animals do not have as keen an ability, or in some cases an absence of it, to identify with shortcomings because their perceptive tools do not include the kind of dualistic build-up that most humans tend to gather from the time that unique sense of I-ness takes root in consciousness. 

[Lost in Translation]

What I meant to convey is that animals live according to their nature - no more, no less. Humans, too, live according to our nature. Our nature is not the same as an animal's, but it is still our nature.

[Rara]

17 hours ago, C T said:

 

What is meant is that animals do not have as keen an ability, or in some cases an absence of it, to identify with shortcomings because their perceptive tools do not include the kind of dualistic build-up that most humans tend to gather from the time that unique sense of I-ness takes root in consciousness. 

 

Sure But my question to you is, how do you know this?

[Stosh]

Examine these things getting called weakness, they are traits or habits about which we do not consider ideal. Isnt this then a self assessment ? That we are supposed to be different based on what we see of others?  If so this lends an explanation for why animals dont seem to get down about themselves, and why it seems people do

Not often appear to change much despite a negative self evaluation.

Depression and anxiety may be more about expectations than actual flaw. 

 

[Rara]

2 hours ago, Stosh said:

 If so this lends an explanation for why animals dont seem to get down about themselves, and why it seems people do

Not often appear to change much despite a negative self evaluation.

Depression and anxiety may be more about expectations than actual flaw. 

 

 

Hi Stosh. Have you not seen an animal appear down or to suffer from anxiety before? Sure, they don't have the same expectations on them they way that we do, with the build up of how we are "supposed" to move through life. But how am i supposed to know what caused the animal's symptoms?!

[Stosh]

Honestly, no , my pets have always been graced. But yes i can see that some get abused horribly. Traumatized. What a horrible thing that is... 

I think the animals behavior indicates its expectations of what will happen to it , rather than what it thinks of itself. This is a fine distinction ,  I know .And I am not sure they do not have a perception of self akin to our own. But they dont appear to react as we would  expect ourselves, to things.