Wanted to seek guidance from the community

[wakeupneo]

Hello everyone!

For many years I struggled with a dissociative disorder which resulted from many years of over-zealous meditation practice focuses intensely in the head/crown chakra opening/kundalini opening.

The trauma that resulted and the experience itself, I wouldn't not wish on my worst enemy.

Over the years the energetic phenomena faded. I was left completely dissociated and adrenal fatigued.

I've spent $10s of thousands of dollars and saw countless healers and tried various protocols to no avail.

Then I started a detox program about 8 months ago and started a "haukins butter egg" ""outer dissolving" meditation and I started feeling a bit better. I was able to get off most of my medications, my energy levels returned to normal, I was able to sleep again at night, my dizziness/hypoglycemia faded. Most importantly I became hopeful, once again, there this could restore me to having a life worth living.

3 months ago I woke up to deafness in my left ear, visual flickering and blaring tinnitus. The visual issues faded within hours, the deafness within 3 weeks but the blaring ringing in my left ear continues. It's been over 3 months now.

I should note that prior to the ear situation I felt warm chi in that area for a few days. Could this be some sort of healing experience?

When I do the meditation practices, the ringing intensifies and engulfs my head. Of course, given my past this is extremely anxiety provoking.

I do my best to not let it affect me but some days just break down and weep. I'm not able to sleep most nights, I walk around with a knot in my stomach as I go through the day and negative and dark thoughts start taking over.
 

I've stopped the detox and meditation to see if that makes any difference. So far, it hasn't. I guess I'm just looking for support. I really don't know what to do. I feel desperate and at times just want to give up on everything...

I'm fighting the thoughts that this tinnitus is some irreparable damage. Should I continue doing what I was doing?

Is this some sort of herxheimer reaction? That was my initial impression but this seems really damn long for a herx.
 

I pray that you all will be able to give me some insight, guidance and point me in the right direction. I feel such a mess at times I can't even trust my own discretion.
 

If anyone knows anyone that can be of service, that would be helpful as well. I'm willing to pay, donate, whatever it takes...

Do you guys know of any healers, retreat centers, practices which might be helpful? The jarring tinnitus is what is giving me the most difficulty at the moment.

Thank you all for your love and support.

Edited January 27, 2018 by wakeupneo

[Boundlesscostfairy]

Can you tell me or source me about the butter egg meditation?

 

With regard to your ear tremors.. I've already tried to psychicly heal.. and that's for free..

 

But you could try laying your own healing hands on the area of infection..

 

Other than that.. what has your Doctor recommended?

 

This could be an early Kundalini awakening.... and if thats the case.. try to understand the energy.. and find the flow of the energy in your ear and body.. when you tap in you could try to dismiss it.. or try to understand the pain as a reason of blockage and try to expand and then expend the energy. 

 

Other that you could try acupressure.. which is similar to acupuncture but instead of needles you use your fingers to touch and press certain spots on the body..

 

I can recomend spots near the ear lobe..

 

[wakeupneo]

16 hours ago, Boundlesscostfairy said:

Can you tell me or source me about the butter egg meditation?

Google, Hakuin and Zen sickness. It was the antidote to his spiritual sickness. 

 

With regard to your ear tremors.. I've already tried to psychicly heal.. and that's for free..

I don't understand. Could you please rephrase?

 

But you could try laying your own healing hands on the area of infection..

How so?

 

Other than that.. what has your Doctor recommended?

Typical western medicine, MRIs, blah blah, I've rulled all of that out.

 

This could be an early Kundalini awakening.... and if thats the case.. try to understand the energy.. and find the flow of the energy in your ear and body.. when you tap in you could try to dismiss it.. or try to understand the pain as a reason of blockage and try to expand and then expend the energy. 

I've already had the awakening which lead to everything I'm dealing with now. 

 

Other that you could try acupressure.. which is similar to acupuncture but instead of needles you use your fingers to touch and press certain spots on the body..

 

I can recomend spots near the ear lobe..

Sure!

 

 

[Vajra Fist]

Hi, 

 

I'm really sorry to hear about your symptoms. The only thing I could suggest to you is to rely on 'other power' rather than your own resources to heal yourself. I think placing faith in a being like a Buddha would speed up your healing progress significantly. Personally I would try Medicine Buddha:

 

 

Start by listening to this in morning and evening. Then try chanting along. Then read the Medicine Buddha Sutra. From there you might want to get an empowerment from a Lama.

 

I hope this helps and best of luck to you on your swift recovery 

[Apech]

On 1/27/2018 at 10:57 PM, wakeupneo said:

Hello everyone!

For many years I struggled with a dissociative disorder which resulted from many years of over-zealous meditation practice focuses intensely in the head/crown chakra opening/kundalini opening.

The trauma that resulted and the experience itself, I wouldn't not wish on my worst enemy.

Over the years the energetic phenomena faded. I was left completely dissociated and adrenal fatigued.

I've spent $10s of thousands of dollars and saw countless healers and tried various protocols to no avail.

Then I started a detox program about 8 months ago and started a "haukins butter egg" ""outer dissolving" meditation and I started feeling a bit better. I was able to get off most of my medications, my energy levels returned to normal, I was able to sleep again at night, my dizziness/hypoglycemia faded. Most importantly I became hopeful, once again, there this could restore me to having a life worth living.

3 months ago I woke up to deafness in my left ear, visual flickering and blaring tinnitus. The visual issues faded within hours, the deafness within 3 weeks but the blaring ringing in my left ear continues. It's been over 3 months now.

I should note that prior to the ear situation I felt warm chi in that area for a few days. Could this be some sort of healing experience?

When I do the meditation practices, the ringing intensifies and engulfs my head. Of course, given my past this is extremely anxiety provoking.

I do my best to not let it affect me but some days just break down and weep. I'm not able to sleep most nights, I walk around with a knot in my stomach as I go through the day and negative and dark thoughts start taking over.
 

I've stopped the detox and meditation to see if that makes any difference. So far, it hasn't. I guess I'm just looking for support. I really don't know what to do. I feel desperate and at times just want to give up on everything...

I'm fighting the thoughts that this tinnitus is some irreparable damage. Should I continue doing what I was doing?

Is this some sort of herxheimer reaction? That was my initial impression but this seems really damn long for a herx.
 

I pray that you all will be able to give me some insight, guidance and point me in the right direction. I feel such a mess at times I can't even trust my own discretion.
 

If anyone knows anyone that can be of service, that would be helpful as well. I'm willing to pay, donate, whatever it takes...

Do you guys know of any healers, retreat centers, practices which might be helpful? The jarring tinnitus is what is giving me the most difficulty at the moment.

Thank you all for your love and support.

 

Hi,

 

Its impossible to advise you fully over the net as there are probably many factors in your life, lifestyle and history which we don't know.  But I would say the following:

 

1 ) first go see a doctor about your tinnitus to eliminate any physical cause such as infection

2 ) don't take up any strong detox or new meditation for at least three months and avoid any 'energy' practices

3 ) eat well and regularly - it doesn't matter much what as long as not processed foods

4 ) take regular daily exercise which is enjoyable

5) set yourself simple tasks of sorting out factors in your life which annoy you or feel like loose ends (simplest easiest first)

6) do some things you like doing

 

some symptoms/ energy reactions are self generating simply because of the attention we give them - the capacity to change and establish good health and balance already exists inside you - you can generate the capacity to heal yourself without any outside intervention if you are patient and listen to your own body and mind.

 

 

[Mudfoot]

On 2018-01-27 at 11:57 PM, wakeupneo said:

Hello everyone!

For many years I struggled with a dissociative disorder which resulted from many years of over-zealous meditation practice focuses intensely in the head/crown chakra opening/kundalini opening.

The trauma that resulted /.... /

Over the years the energetic phenomena faded. I was left completely dissociated and adrenal fatigued.

Hi! 

 

This is just me flapping my lips, and it might not be useful, but... 

 

Dissociative symptoms are the result of "adverse events". Your brain/mind believes you have been threatened, and react accordingly. 

There are many kinds of threats, pushing meditation is one possibility. 

 

So your brain reacts, and there are a huge number of possible reactions. 

 

So what can one do about it? 

First should be to calm the nervous system down. 

Examples :

 

Slow and eaven breathing pattern, six seconds in and six seconds out for the average length male. 

 

Kick-start the oxytocin system. Kristin Neff's self-compassion method is one way, self-massage (light strokes, 3-10cm/second) is another. 

 

Physical exercise which helps your body to handle threats. 

 

There are more to this, and if you see a therapist that doesn't know this and how to build on it, you might seeking help in the wrong place. 

[ion]

A couple of things to throw out there.

 

Had you had a vaccination of any kind a few weeks prior to the "sudden deafness"?

 

Nothing is self existing, illnesses are no different nd people don't just go deaf for no reason.

 

I had almost gone deaf in one ear after a vaccination and have since met two people who have suffered permanent damage to their ears after taking a vaccine. One is almost deaf in both ears, the other went completely deaf in both ears. Both were fine and could hear before the vaccine. Vaccines are drugs that have much weirder ingredients than your average drug, many of them are neurotoxins, and vaccines as drugs are all Basicly the,most experimentaldrugs on the market.

 

As drugs there are many adverse effects that can happen and side effects. As experimental drugs many of the adverse effects are unknown. If there is an adverse effect the Dr is supposed to write it don and send it in to a national database, but they do not know anything about the vaccines they administer (with out a diagnosis first) except what the reps from the pharmaceutical corporations tell them much like with the opiates that have become an epidemic because of false claims from the reps from the pharmaceutical industry so Drs don't really know what to look for with adverse reactions to vaccines and don't usually report the advert effects.

 

If you suggest to your doc that it might be an adverse reaction they will likely deny it but that denial is based on info received from the same pharmaceutical reps that told them that you can safely take opiates daily for months without forming a tolerance let alone an addiction.

 

If you can cure tinnitus like someone suggested, with acupuncture than it might not be too hard to realize that getting stuck with a needle that oozed known neurotoxins like aluminum and mercury into your body along with strange proteins that cause allergies, aborted fetus DNA, animal DNA, bacteria, genomyecine (anti bacterial agent) along with live and dead viruses might also be a cause or condition of your deafness and tinnitus.

 

The other thing is that I have had tinnitus that lasted for days on more than one occasion.

 

In meditation I've noticed that in silence there are naturally occurring resonances that manifest in the ear as ringing that are not tinnitus and that are different than tinnitus in how the ringing is.

 

What I began doing in meditation is focussing in on the ringing like one focuses on their breath.

 

Since then the ringing of tinnitus has occurred a few times. Regaurdless of what I'm doing when it occurs i stop and focus my attention on the tinnitus and it always goes away shortly after I tune into it.

 

If you try this you may want to give it a while before you give up do to the length of time you have been experencing the tinnitus. 

[Orion]

I've worked a lot with tinnitus in my practice. If it's one sided, then the most common reason is skull bone misalignment, particularly of the temporal bones. Craniosacral practitioners and osteopaths are the ones to see to get the subtle adjustments to alleviate the cranial nerves, in those cases. I wouldn't bother with a chiropractor because their adjustments are too gross and lack that micro-specificity of the other practitioners. If you have a doctor of osteopathic medicine you could go see, I'd do that. They can be pricey but it's worth it. I once had a horrible 3 week migraine that nothing was fixing - I was even giving acupuncture to myself - and an osteo fixed it by adjusting the bones in the roof of my mouth. It was pretty remarkable.

 

If the ringing is in both ears, then it points to a blood issue... like blood toxicity. You said you're doing some kind of detox, so that could be involved, potentially. The reason why the ears and the kidneys are connected in Eastern medicine is because if the kidneys are off kilter at all in their filtering of the blood or they're overburdened (like by a herx), the auditory nerves are the first to suffer distortions. It can also point to hormonal or electrolyte imbalances, again both of which are governed by the kidneys. Tinnitus is very common during menopause, for example. But... you did say it was left ear only.

 

Yes, excessive upper chakra work can make the energy want to habitually go there, and this too can cause tinnitus, but persistent ringing no matter if you're meditating or not sounds like a physical problem to me rather than an esoteric one. If at the end of the day the problem seems more energetic, then I'd recommend acupuncture above all else. The practitioner would probably work on your kidney meridians to get the energy going downward.

 

Tinnitus can be temporary or permanent. Generally, the longer a person has it, the less likely it's going to go away.