Exploring all paths as one

[Kinzard]

Namaste from India.

 

It has only been like 10-11 months, since I started my self-paced self create practices. I awoke to inner silence right around this time and just fell into meditation. Unknowingly I started playing with energy. Without knowing it led to orgasm, I kept on it for days until finally my energy was too much to create orgasms as fast as before.

 

I later realized that I was doing Microcosmic orbit very late into the game. No one told me anything, i Just fell into the practice out of silence. My kundalini was awoken soon enough and led to major major changes in my personality, energy level and intensity. I faced alot of pain and problems but almost effortlessly overcame them, the more problems came more intensely I did my practice even it tore me apart my thoughts were absolute calm and serene, body although was in non-stop pain for months on end until finally everything stabilized and my chronic diseases were pushed out. It really felt like I was reborn. It feels like a fairy tale even now.

 

I only follow my internal wisdom and my heartfelt guru whom I never met face to face and perhaps never might but somewhere I feel deeply connected.

 

I know no martial practices, I am very unfamiliar with chinese way of doing things though I can relate alot, I have followed no yogic guidance rather I rejected every single thing that didn't work for me and built my own path.

 

I wish to explore deeper and deeper and I find this community to be more apt and suitable for good discussions of occult and esoteric practices. I was on AYP before but sadly there are not enough proper intellectuals there and only people with fear of kundalini and wishing only to know how to deal with it, not enough who wish to explore the entire aspect, practices and occult.

 

My only hope is that I might receive a good discussion here because I have too many questions and can go on and on about it for years on end.

 

 

[Marblehead]

Hello, Kinzard and welcome.

 

Your membership is approved and we're happy you found your way to us. We look forward to accompanying you on some of the way that you still have to go.

 

Please take the time to read the post pinned at the top of this Welcome page and take a look at the forum Terms and Rules.   This covers all you need to know when getting started.

 

For the first week you will be restricted to ten posts per day but after that you can post as much as you like. Also, until you’ve posted fifteen times in the forums, you’ll be a “Junior Bum” with somewhat restricted access and will be allowed only two private messages per day.

 

Good luck in your pursuits and best wishes to you,

 

Marblehead and the TDB team

 

 

Hi Kinzard,

 

Yeah, it seems you at least need someone to tell you what you are doing and why it is effecting you the way it is.  I'm sure you will find some members who will help you along. 

 

You are welcome to jump right in ongoing discussions, revive an older thread, start a new thread of your own, or start a discussion in the "Newcomer Corner" sub-forms to expand on your introduction or ask general questions to help you get started.

 

May you enjoy your time here.

 

Marblehead

[cold]

welcome!

[RiverSnake]

Welcome to TDB. I do a bit of energetic adjustment work that may be helpful in soothing your K. Let me know if you'd like a session. Cheers. 

 

 

[Kinzard]

10 minutes ago, Marblehead said:

Hi Kinzard,

 

Yeah, it seems you at least need someone to tell you what you are doing and why it is effecting you the way it is.  I'm sure you will find some members who will help you along. 

 

You are welcome to jump right in ongoing discussions, revive an older thread, start a new thread of your own, or start a discussion in the "Newcomer Corner" sub-forms to expand on your introduction or ask general questions to help you get started.

 

May you enjoy your time here.

 

Marblehead

Thank you for greeting me, I appreciate that. 

 

I have no problems as of yet. I am only walking my own path of ascension. My body has become disease free for quite some time, i have taken extreme measures to check it for sure. I have done microcosmic every single day for 10 months non-stop(except for few occasions)

 

only problem as of late I have is not having enough people who understand occult or any esoteric wisdom around me. I can never truly express mindblowing experiences to anyone, ever. i tried making my parents understand it, it's like playing flute infront of a cow. It's pointless, even though I don't get any resistance from them due to my esoteric practices because it only had positive impact on me, except for the fact me being more intense about everything. They have absolutely nothing to complain but you can easily see they don't get anything out of me sharing my experiences with them.

 

 

[Limahong]

4 hours ago, Kinzard said:

It has only been like 10-11 months, since I started my self-paced self create practices. I awoke to inner silence right around this time and just fell into meditation.

 

Hi Kinzard,

 

Isn't 10-11 months too short a time frame per what you are trying to put across? How old are you?

 

4 hours ago, Kinzard said:

Unknowingly I started playing with energy.

 

Playing?

 

- LimA

[Kinzard]

16 minutes ago, Limahong said:

 

Hi Kinzard,

 

Isn't 10-11 months too short a time frame per what you are trying to put across? How old are you?

 

 

Playing?

 

- LimA

Spiritual process doesn't differ through age. It started the moment I was born, paused the moment I lost perspective, restarted when I finally regained it.

 

effortlessly opened my chakras, detoxed explosively and suffered 10 years worth of pain in just 3 months. All pent up emotions popped out started off with crying for no utter reason for 30 minutes almost like a madman and later came out all the pent up anger and frustration. It became so much painful to bear, My sleep went down to 5 hours to 3 to 2 hours as energy grew my face was permanently in anger mode, my eyes ready to fall out. Anger mode went on for 2 months straight, meditating made it much much worse but it helped me detach completely, i was ready to die any given moment but not willing to take a single step backwards.

 

I am 23, but it doesn't matter really. I never did any spiritual crap before but it suddenly dawned upon me. Believe me I never gave any crap about spirituality nor did I have much plans about doing yoga or meditation before. But after hearing my guru something inside me just relaxed and relaxed...so much so that I effortlessly started doing microcosmic orbit and rest just happened and kept on happening on its own.

 

all of it happened in matter of 10 months, believe it or not. Before this despite being just 22 years old, I looked like a 33 year old man whose wife left him for a driver. I felt like I aged more than 60, not that willing or excited for life ahead, dead eyes and no motivation and it kept on declining until I finally laid eyes upon my guru. Suddenly after this happened I felt youthful, more alive than ever and also detached to anything and everything.

 

I took on endless pain train to get here, meditated even in my sleep. Finally when winter came I got to see the fruits of my success. I spent entire winter without winter clothes until end of december. 

 

I can feel the cycles of sun and moon inside of me, I don't get sick because disease cannot take root in me anymore and I've been far harsher with testing myself over this than anyone could have been, since I spent entire winter practically without ever wearing winter clothes later was only because I had to wear a jacket over was because water element was going out of control. I start leaking water everywhere through my eyes, nose and mouth and it went on becoming more and more annoying every full moon.

 

This is exactly what a yogic body is, I am sensitive to things around me whether it cycles of sun, moon or even the planets or even people. I can tell with very little research by looking at you what disease you are going to have, have done so with my parents multiple times, I told them when they were gonna get sick I even told them cure but no one believed in me nor cure until they finally got same advice from the doctor and same goddamn cure. 

 

It is sad when people look down upon you just because you haven't spent all your life mastering some martial art or qigong. Whether you believe or disbelieve it is pointless to me. It is a living reality for me.

[Limahong]

31 minutes ago, Kinzard said:

Whether you believe or disbelieve it is pointless to me. It is a living reality for me.

 

Hi Kinzard,

 

It is not for me to (dis)believe you. Why? You are good with words and I am just trying to follow your writing by joining the dots.

 

31 minutes ago, Kinzard said:

... despite being just 22 years old, I looked like a 33 year old... I felt like I aged more than 60...

 

An interesting lifespan perspective.

 

31 minutes ago, Kinzard said:

... I finally laid eyes upon my guru.

 

Are you still with your guru?

 

- LimA

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 10, 2018 by Limahong
Correct error.

[Kinzard]

3 minutes ago, Limahong said:

 

Hi Kinzard,

 

It is not for me to (dis)believe you. Why? You are good with words and I am just trying to follow your writing by joining the dots.

 

 

An interesting lifespan perspective.

 

 

Are you still with your guru?

 

- LimA

 

 

 

My guru has never seen my faces nor knows of my existence. i only know him through youtube or TV whichever way he's quite popular. I never met him, stood beside him nor talked him face to face in my entire life. But there is such a connection that I start acting like him out of nowhere, I talk like him, I walk like him, think like him...nothing of me is left anymore somehow.

 

He has a seat inside of me, no matter what I do I cannot ignore him. Such a thing happened because I heard him say exact words, exact lines and exact everything of a experience that I had, not just once but many times and many many same experiences and always same perspective. It is like he was put there for that exact purpose though I am not naive enough to believe that nor am I putting any bets on that but it was too miraculous to have such a co-incidence. 10 years of non-stop suffering only came because I did not know how to approach spirituality nor even knew what it is, whatever of it was shown looked stupid to me and yoga was just stretching..Funny how truth was right infront of me and I was absolutely blind.

 

I saw his videos, it relaxed me, eased my suffering because now I know for sure there is a way...what i wished truly could happen. All my energies aligned right from that moment towards that goal. I never looked back, one after another experiences came and went. I am never satisfied, countless time had out of body experiences, I watched as time moved ahead as I remained asleep yet hovered over my body. I even got possessed twice while out of body. I had orgasms that lasted entire day(yes no kidding, I kept leaking water due to that not from down below though) I can even create awakening in others  sometimes even if I don't it'll just happen if they stick long enough with me.but sadly people don't know how to sustain it and wont do it even if you ask them to. Only one sticked to it and now he's almost at the stage of being disease free I only need to teach him bone marrow washing and he might succeed. 

 

 

I was under very very heavy effect of saturn it almost ruined me inside out, it was only at the last year of my sade-sati(Saturn's planetary moment that is absolutely inauspicious for scorpion moon like mine) that I saw such big change in myself, It felt like a huge weight was lifted off me. The moment that happened, i never looked back. Day in and day out non-stop mediation, day or night. I started knowing things that I never should've known, out of nowhere I end up finding truths about black hole which really comes under rocket science level out of nowhere, I still couldn't believe myself.

 

It was like a veil was removed and now I can see, I was blind before but now I can truly see. My suffering seems so stupid today...I suffered internally relentlessly for no reason but lack of self expression but whenever I tried finding solace in something, that entire thing was uprooted from existence or made null and void. I used to make comics on a site, it was sold off and absolutely butchered. I used enjoy my college life, everything went downhill after second year even branch seems like it is going to be shut off. My skills I honed for years are now null and void. Jobs I did, bore no money despite working hard but same job gave my friend money but not me. The games I played, made pointless today, Most of my old friends are gone from my life and most probably won't ever remember me. Whenever I tried leaning on something it was absolutely crushed.

 

I had success in whatever I put myself fully into, I've gotten whatever I really reached out for but I was never allowed solace for long. I was not allowed to shut off my mind and live, I had to suffer to get here immensely. Now I am detached...I can't feel lonely anymore nor do I feel burdened with anything, whatever is needed I do. Rest takes care of itself

[Limahong]

2 hours ago, Kinzard said:

I had success in whatever I put myself fully into...

 

Hi Kinzard,

 

Good for you. I am not connecting any dots anymore,

 

9 hours ago, Kinzard said:

I awoke to inner silence...

 

Silence.

 

- LimA

[moment]

On 2/10/2018 at 11:30 AM, Kinzard said:

Kinzard

 

Hmmmm

Edited July 6, 2019 by moment

[Kinzard]

6 hours ago, Limahong said:

 

Hi Kinzard,

 

Good for you. I am not connecting any dots anymore,

 

That merely means, I do get what I work for but nothing more really. outpour of misfortune after misfortune are still evident. I have almost zero ability to live normally all I can do is do whatever is needed.

 

I seemed to have shared too much. This will only become a issue. It seems I need to speak less yet still.

 

Good day to you. Though I don't know if this post was a sarcastic one or just a well-intentioned one but it is fine, It's not about you anyway. I need to get my nonsense out of my system and you were a good sport in listening so no complains here, I wish you well and thanks for listening.

[moment]

On 2/10/2018 at 8:56 PM, Kinzard said:

That merely means, I do get what I work for but nothing more really. outpour of misfortune after misfortune are still evident. I have almost zero ability to live normally all I can do is do whatever is needed.

 

I seemed to have shared too much. This will only become a issue. It seems I need to speak less yet still.

You are all over the map.

Edited July 5, 2019 by moment

[Kinzard]

8 minutes ago, moment said:

You are all over the map.  That makes it difficult for those listening.  Getting specific is usually not the preferred course but, in your case, I will make an exception.  Look up Hakuin's butter melt or oil melt. Go more slowly each time you go down the body.

Do it between 11 and 31 minutes every day, once or twice a day for forty days straight.  It is one of those meditations that can do no harm and almost always does great good when someone is where you seem to be. 

Well yes, I seem to be all over the map indeed. But no meditation is required to fix it. Once you let out what you've been holding back and see the results yourself, there is a certain satisfaction and completion, It is but a small thing, not much to pay heed to.

 

perhaps you mistook me, I am mediating for far more than 30 minutes everyday on regular basis. I replaced esoteric practices with masturbation itself. Now I can't even masturbate like a normal being even, it has to be orbited. My sexual energy rises up my spine and to the head effortlessly so. Each day, I do meditation like one does masturbation, very much for pleasure. This is not a problem, I can ground myself when I want to and know how to, so that is no longer a issue either. My body is disease free because of that only.

 

I prefer mantra and chakra meditation and do it almost everyday, even if I don't I still meditate one way or other.

 

If anything I'd like to know things about microcosmic orbit that I don't know yet or more different chinese methods of using chi internally which I haven't experimented with or even thought about. Especially internal martial arts.if possible. 

[moment]

Ok

Edited July 6, 2019 by moment