Spiritual loneliness

[stovepipe]

I see love in the world, and that fills me with joy.

 

But a part of me suffers from rarely meeting a gaze that says "I understand you." I am very grateful for what this path has brought me, but the burden of the altered perception (as in "different from what most people likely experience"), has been heavy on me for a while. My whole life, I've been feeling like an alien. I understand that this is just a twisted belief, and I want to graduate from it. I'm not sure what the direction is.

[Miffymog]

I understand where you are coming from. A possible direction is that a stronger physical body results in a stronger emotional body. And when you have a stronger emotional body it becomes a bit easier to deal with the challenges that everyone faces.

[doc benway]

2 hours ago, stovepipe said:

I see love in the world, and that fills me with joy.

 

But a part of me suffers from rarely meeting a gaze that says "I understand you." I am very grateful for what this path has brought me, but the burden of the altered perception (as in "different from what most people likely experience"), has been heavy on me for a while. My whole life, I've been feeling like an alien. I understand that this is just a twisted belief, and I want to graduate from it. I'm not sure what the direction is.

 

If the feeling has been with you your "whole life," it may have little to do with spirituality.

I think there are different ways to approach the issue and very specific advice would require having a much better understanding of who you are, what you practice, your life circumstances, and so forth.

That said, one thing that can be extremely supportive if you are currently engaged in spiritual practice is to connect with like-minded people. Find a local sangha or practice group, for example. it is important to make real connections. Internet connections are not the same. We need eye contact, physical contact, shared experience, shared interests. We need to be able to hug someone, cry and laugh with them. My teacher always tries to emphasize the value of coming together and simply sharing presence and experience. This is far more important than any exchange of information in his view (and mine).

A very important part of being human is connecting with others in a meaningful way. 

Our high tech society has isolated and estranged us from this sort of contact and I think it is quite toxic.

[Yinja]

In my experience when it comes to human connections

The feeling shifts between "Ahh the game couldnt be more perfect"  to (as you described it) feeling like an alien and that no one understands me.  

 

When the first option is there, the diffrance between you and others is still very much noticeable, 

but it dosnt underline the "seperation" from the others and there is no sign of that dipression/sadness.

 

When it is the other way, usually i can point my finger at how this feeling is linked to something in the shadow not fully integrated.

 

Be suspicious as even with a well trained awareness it was impossible for me to see at the time.

Thats of course just how my path goes.  

[Nungali]

5 hours ago, stovepipe said:

I see love in the world, and that fills me with joy.

 

But a part of me suffers from rarely meeting a gaze that says "I understand you." I am very grateful for what this path has brought me, but the burden of the altered perception (as in "different from what most people likely experience"), has been heavy on me for a while. My whole life, I've been feeling like an alien. I understand that this is just a twisted belief, and I want to graduate from it. I'm not sure what the direction is.

 

The path of initiation and advancement   will make things seem like that . After all, you are lifting yourself up and above the general masses and their ignorance . 

 

Its a tricky balance ... the process has to be acknowledged ... but the danger is in  the ego catching hold of the realisation .

[Nungali]

3 hours ago, steve said:

 

If the feeling has been with you your "whole life," it may have little to do with spirituality.

 

Unless the process started before this life .

 

 

3 hours ago, steve said:

I think there are different ways to approach the issue and very specific advice would require having a much better understanding of who you are, what you practice, your life circumstances, and so forth.

That said, one thing that can be extremely supportive if you are currently engaged in spiritual practice is to connect with like-minded people. Find a local sangha or practice group, for example. it is important to make real connections. Internet connections are not the same. We need eye contact, physical contact, shared experience, shared interests. We need to be able to hug someone, cry and laugh with them. My teacher always tries to emphasize the value of coming together and simply sharing presence and experience. This is far more important than any exchange of information in his view (and mine).

A very important part of being human is connecting with others in a meaningful way. 

 

That is why initiation is best undergone in some type of social context  or 'fraternity'  , temple , monastery, etc .  People who have had that experience know what a different world exists  'outside the garden walls' .

 

3 hours ago, steve said:

Our high tech society has isolated and estranged us from this sort of contact and I think it is quite toxic.

 

 

Thats the other side of things !   Also, estrangement from nature and natural forces and processes and observations ... it deadens us and decreases our innate intelligence ... and warps our imagination faculty.

[ChiForce]

I find your post a bit confusing.  Can you tell me what is your spiritual path?  Are you sure maybe you feel lonely because the world and the social surrounding you were brought up under?  If you are on a spiritual path, loneliness does not bother you because you are living on a higher plane of existence.  You don't envy others because you view and see their suffering and maybe even the superficial aspects of their lives.  Two, you will be in contacts with higher realized beings in your dreams, meditation, and visions.  In fact, you would crave for solitude because you would get tired of this world.  You may prefer to make contacts with others only to the extent that you have to make a living or to function normally in the society.....

 

   

[Fa Xin]

1 hour ago, ChiForce said:

I find your post a bit confusing.  Can you tell me what is your spiritual path?  Are you sure maybe you feel lonely because the world and the social surrounding you were brought up under?  If you are on a spiritual path, loneliness does not bother you because you are living on a higher plane of existence.  You don't envy others because you view and see their suffering and maybe even the superficial aspects of their lives.  Two, you will be in contacts with higher realized beings in your dreams, meditation, and visions.  In fact, you would crave for solitude because you would get tired of this world.  You may prefer to make contacts with others only to the extent that you have to make a living or to function normally in the society.....

 

   

 

It depends where someone is on their path. We are all doing our best. 

 

I think Its understandable to feel a disconnect with a world so obsessed with material and mundane stuff. I suppose everyone reacts differently to this. 

 

I did not know a spiritual path was so defined as outlined in your post. 

 

Edited February 23, 2018 by Fa Xin

[ChiForce]

7 minutes ago, Fa Xin said:

 

It depends where someone is on their path. We are all doing our best. 

 

I think Its understandable to feel a disconnect with a world so obsessed with material and mundane stuff. I suppose everyone reacts differently to this. 

 

I did not know a spiritual path was so defined as outlined in your post. 

 

Let me put it this way...........it is almost impossible to feel disconnected when your mind is connecting to the world around you because you have compassion for the suffering or with other world events.  In a spiritual path, you experience solicitude...not loneliness...   You experience connections with other higher realized beings either you like it or not.  They will manifest themselves with your true mind.  Loneliness is the opposite of the path.  That was why I asked the OP to define his or her path.  Maybe it isn't the path making him or her feeling lonely.  Is her or his life and early up bringing....  

 

Loneliness....I know what loneliness is..after all, I had my Kundalini energy rising when I was only 17.  What do you think how it happened???     

[Fa Xin]

3 minutes ago, ChiForce said:

Let me put it this way...........it is almost impossible to feel disconnected when your mind is connecting to the world around you because you have compassion for the suffering or with other world events.  In a spiritual path, you experience solicitude...not loneliness...   You experience connections with other higher realized beings either you like it or not.  They will manifest themselves with your true mind.  Loneliness is the opposite of the path.  That was why I asked the OP to define his or her path.  Maybe it isn't the path making him or her feeling lonely.  Is her or his life and early up bringing....  

 

Loneliness....I know what loneliness is..after all, I had my Kundalini energy rising when I was only 17.  What do you think how it happened???     

I’m not disagreeing with you. 

 

Just seemed the OP was looking for some support and understanding. Not to be told what they “should” or “should not” feel.  Don’t you think?

 

 

[ChiForce]

Just now, Fa Xin said:

I’m not disagreeing with you. 

 

Just seemed the OP was looking for some support and understanding. Not to be told what they “should” or “should not” feel.  Don’t you think?

 

 

We should at least to help him or her to understand their state of mind.  I would certainly not indulge in their illusion..assuming he or she is actually on a path.  We don't know. 

[Fa Xin]

1 minute ago, ChiForce said:

We should at least to help him or her to understand their state of mind.  I would certainly not indulge in their illusion..assuming he or she is actually on a path.  We don't know. 

 Sounds good to me

 

[ChiForce]

Hmm..ok..you posted this about a month ago.  I see where you are coming from.....

 

 

[ChiForce]

Alright...it seems your state of mind is more complicated given what you posted last month.  It appears you aren't grounded enough in your meditation practice.  Your fear and your preconception clouded your third eye vision.  And your mind can't handle it.  I hope you aren't taking any drugs in your meditation.  You should probably meditate on your lower dan tien for a while.  For your real life, get involved with people sharing your hobby.  You have hobbies right?  Generally, these hobby groups are very welcoming.  How did you end up in contact with THAT individual???

[stovepipe]

1 hour ago, ChiForce said:

Alright...it seems your state of mind is more complicated given what you posted last month.  It appears you aren't grounded enough in your meditation practice.  Your fear and your preconception clouded your third eye vision.  And your mind can't handle it.  I hope you aren't taking any drugs in your meditation.  You should probably meditate on your lower dan tien for a while.  For your real life, get involved with people sharing your hobby.  You have hobbies right?  Generally, these hobby groups are very welcoming.  How did you end up in contact with THAT individual???

 

Hard to say how I met him, probably because I live in San Fran and these things can be pretty common here. I no longer feel scared tho, a lot of things happened in the past month.

 

Maybe loneliness wasn't the right word. Maybe isolation is a better word. I do not feel lonely, I feel very connected, but I do feel isolated. I think you guys are right when you say that this has maybe less to do with the spiritual path, and more with my overall life and psychology. I've been criticized as a kid for being different, doing and wanting different things from people my age, I probably isolate myself as the result of fearing criticism. This is becoming more precise in my mind, and less of a big deal already.

[Gerard]

20 hours ago, steve said:

A very important part of being human is connecting with others in a meaningful way. 

Our high tech society has isolated and estranged us from this sort of contact and I think it is quite toxic. ---> It is, indeed!

 

INDIVIDUALISM as a form egotism. Me first and I don't care about the rest.

 

Very bad for the Heart.

Roseto effect

 

Many Buddhist monasteries in Thailand (and other Asian countries for that matter) have a very tight relationship with the communities in which they inhabit, almost symbiotic. They pretty much they adhere to the Roseto paradigm. 

 

This is one of the key points:

 

Elders were revered and incorporated into community life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[stovepipe]

Thanks for your replies, I do not feel like my Internet usage is problematic tho. I did post this on a forum, but that doesn't mean that I spend my life online. I am actually seeing quite many people.

 

I feel a little bit like Bruce Willis in Surrogates: everybody is living through avatars (robots), and he seems to be the only one who's trying to live for real. He feels isolated because of that.

 

Now I am not depressed, as I am writing this right now, I can feel the divinity within me, within all beings, and I can see how people are just where they are meant to be (and so am I!). I just wonder how I could get over this "being different" feeling...

Edited February 24, 2018 by stovepipe

[Fa Xin]

30 minutes ago, stovepipe said:

Thanks for your replies, I do not feel like my Internet usage is problematic tho. I did post this on a forum, but that doesn't mean that I spend my life online. I am actually seeing quite many people.

 

I feel a little bit like Bruce Willis in Surrogates: everybody is living through avatars (robots), and he seems to be the only one who's trying to live for real. He feels isolated because of that.

 

Now I am not depressed, as I am writing this right now, I can feel the divinity within me, within all beings, and I can see how people are just where they are meant to be (and so am I!). I just wonder how I could get over this "being different" feeling...

Maybe try to see the commonalities in others. Notice how Your alike, not so much different. We all have pain, we all get sick. Most people are just trying to be happy or content in their lot in life. Use your different qualities to inspire and help those around you. 

[joeblast]

1 hour ago, stovepipe said:

I just wonder how I could get over this "being different" feeling...

start enjoying it

[liminal_luke]

On 22/2/2018 at 10:48 PM, stovepipe said:

 

 I've been criticized as a kid for being different, doing and wanting different things from people my age, I probably isolate myself as the result of fearing criticism. This is becoming more precise in my mind, and less of a big deal already.

 

Seeing it as less of a big deal sounds great.  I think that`s often how the "graduation" you mentioned you wanted in your opening post often happens.  It`s not that there`s any great insight or transformation, we just grow into seeing something that previously bothered us as "less of a big deal."

 

I don`t know if it`s any comfort, but feeling like you`re different from other people, like you`re an alien, etc, is very common.  In fact, I`d say if you feel different from other people that in itself is evidence that you`re not -- you probably have something in common with all the other people who feel just as different and isolated as you do.  Which isn`t to say that you aren`t also unique.  It`s just that a lot of people are walking around with some version of feeling different or alien or isolated, and that feeling is part of the spectrum of feelings that humans experience.  For better or worse, feeling alien isn`t really as alien as it feels -- it`s achingly human.

 

 

Edited February 25, 2018 by liminal_luke