What have I done to you? What have I done for you?

[doc benway]

7 minutes ago, dawei said:

 

Karen did recuse herself...  in back-end decisions and contact.   She is free to post as she feels but I understand another might post less or even more.  I let her decide.

 

ZYD is not emotionally invested in any way... he was left (with Karen's recusal) to try something.   If you watch his posts as a member, he is always pressed for time and he only came to staff on my request.  I greatly appreciate the sacrifices he is making every day to even show up and comment...  I also know that may cause some staff posts to not be a complete reflection of our thought or desired outcome.    You know, it can be a tough job on the best days.

 

ZYD attempted a tongue in cheek reply after my really bad attempt to diffuse things...  I'm not sure if he saw my Mutt reply as a needed Jeff reply...   In any case, I think if we could dial it back a few days, we would likely say it better.

 

Your voice is well heard and appreciated.  I would expect nothing less from you.    And you speak as an ex-staff... thank you.   

 

Thank you for clarifying and replying dawei.

Yes, I sympathize with all of you and all of us...

And as a wise woman recently said, time heals all wounds.

For Daoists, Buddhists, Hindus, and the rest of us... change is inevitable, change is good, it is nothing to fear.

Peace

[Kar3n]

39 minutes ago, steve said:

 

With respect, I would suggest that you consider recusing yourself from moderating in any cases where your husband is involved.

Nothing is more important in moderation than distance and neutrality.

That is impossible when the issue involves family and loved ones. 

It felt to me that you and Donald were both too emotionally invested in this.

At least that is my perception from the posts and discussion.

I offer this observation in the most constructive way possible. 

I don't have a dog in this fight.

 

I did, immediately.

 

I might be abrasive and caught up in defending my husband, but I am still able to see the conflict of interest.

 

Let me say this, had my husband said the things that were said and implied about him, tongue in cheek or not, to anyone, I would have kicked his ass off the forum immediately, for 3 days while I discussed with my fellow mod and admin a longer vacation. Had my husband not been involved at all, my action would have been the same against any member, but alas he was and is, so my hands are tied in the situation.

[doc benway]

4 minutes ago, Kar3n said:

I did, immediately.

 

I might be abrasive and caught up in defending my husband, but I am still able to see the conflict of interest.

 

Let me say this, had my husband said the things that were said and implied about him, tongue in cheek or not, to anyone, I would have kicked his ass off the forum immediately, for 3 days while I discussed with my fellow mod and admin a longer vacation. Had my husband not been involved at all, my action would have been the same against any member, but alas he was and is, so my hands are tied in the situation.

 

I appreciate that you saw the conflict of interest and did not participate in the moderation.

Thanks for addressing my concern.

[Taomeow]

5 hours ago, dawei said:

Ok.... in keeping to the Thread Title part, What have I done for you?

 

Those who can remember the 'owners permissions', whereby you could control your threads.    At the time, I really needed to understand the basis, use, application, etc, of it.   I relied heavily on TM to get her point of view and peppered her with questions to help me translate an idea to a forum setting.   

 

The current version has completely rewritten its permission structure and the only way to make it happen is very ugly in terms of forum settings (ie: tons of groups that become complicated to manage).    So we disabled it but I'm still waiting to see if something is updated that allows an easier implementation at some point.

 

For that input, I truly appreciate what TM shared with me.

 

Thank you, Dawei!  I remember!  I admired your patience, your willingness to put our heads together to figure out what's best for the forum and its most different bums -- what's most creative, least restrictive, most conductive to self-regulation of threads/participants without being in the way of self-expression, least likely to induce unnecessary conflicts...  I was happy to contribute as much as I was able.  That you still haven't abandoned the idea after the new version has nullified our (chiefly yours of course!) efforts really wows me.  Maybe tomorrow is another day...  whenever it comes.    

Edited March 17, 2018 by Taomeow

[Earl Grey]

I'm really hoping you're just taking a breather and not actually saying farewell. I also hope that this is either Mercury Retrograde stirring up things that aren't normally affected and we are temporarily out of sync, or that this is just a parallel universe I woke up to this morning reading this and the other thread where something like this is what I would never imagine. 

[Taomeow]

5 hours ago, steve said:

I'll add this community would be far less credible and interesting without you here, Taomeow.

Your presence is a fabulous resource to many and while I don't always share your perspective, I feel that I have grown from trying to be open to it. I recently came across a thread asking to explain the 5 elements and have hoping to see your contribution...  Alas

 

I will offer that I share your feelings about how you were treated in that thread.

In fact, I reported ZYD's insulting and demeaning attack on you veiled as moderator action. 

I have no bone to pick with Donald but that was uncalled for, IMO.

Curiously, no moderator even acknowledged my report. 

 

I recognize the challenges associated with moderating, I did my time and doubt I would ever do it again.

Nevertheless, I've been disturbed by some moderating actions over the past year, in particular in this instance and that related to Hancock several months ago. This place is and has always been a microcosm, as Sean intended.

As mods and as members we do some good, we make some mistakes, valuable members come and go, and the bottom feeders come and go.

 

I do hope to see you here in the future and, if not, I hope we maintain our connection outside of DaoBums.

I know you will do what is right for you.

With love and great respect,

Steve

_/\__/\__/\_

 

 

Thank you, Steve,

 

for the strong support, which I am proud to have earned -- I know you as an uncompromising warrior of justice, something, believe it or not, I sense even when it is wrapped in a warm fuzzy silence!    And the clarity of your vision when you do chime in feels positively healing.  

 

I have always valued your contributions and your perspective.  

 

Love and respect reciprocated! 

 

TM 

Edited March 17, 2018 by Taomeow

[Taomeow]

4 hours ago, steve said:

 

Unfortunately, she already deleted many of her best taijiquan posts!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Fortunately for me, I'm much more engaged in meditative practice than taiji anymore...

 

Steve, I did not delete them, I just hid my PPD dedicated to the subject (long before now) because I started getting deeper into the territory of indoor stuff and my teacher started reminding me "this is not for sharing" sometimes as an afterthought, i.e. I already wrote stuff and then he tells me, this is not for public disclosure -- and of course I obey my teacher completely, without questioning his judgment, that I do share with traditional taiji disciples.   So I hid the main taiji thread in order to review it, possibly put together a coherent unified version -- there was a lot of material there that to my knowledge can't be found anywhere else (at least I have never been able to find it when I looked), and I meant to run this version by my teacher and ask him which parts are OK to share, then reintroduce to TDB (possibly as a link to a blog, which I already started working on.) 

 

So, if you ever feel that your meditative practice might benefit from oomphing it with some more taiji, my stuff may be available again by then, improved on, hopefully, while not trespassing into insubordination (which was my concern behind hiding it.)     

[Taomeow]

18 minutes ago, Earl Grey said:

I'm really hoping you're just taking a breather and not actually saying farewell. I also hope that this is either Mercury Retrograde stirring up things that aren't normally affected and we are temporarily out of sync, or that this is just a parallel universe I woke up to this morning reading this and the other thread where something like this is what I would never imagine. 

 

Thank you, Earl Grey!

 

You are always attuned to the energy aspects of the goings-on, that we have in common, and not only that.   I don't want to talk about that aspect here though, but interestingly enough, I decided that I needed to distract myself from thinking, writing, and other online stuff by doing something completely unrelated today, and went shopping for trifles and trinkets -- I needed a new flower pot, a bowl to replace a chipped one...  wound up at a thrift store (we have a thriving thrift store scene where I live) and what do I see on display?  You won't believe it.  A taoist ritual Seven Stars sword used for protection, to deflect assorted "energetic" intrusions, and -- well, since you are friends with Miss Wen, you probably know what they are for!  And a jade bracelet next to it.  I was speechless, and paying.  

 

I'll see how it goes...  Thanks again, my friend.     

[doc benway]

2 hours ago, Taomeow said:

 

Steve, I did not delete them, I just hid my PPD dedicated to the subject (long before now) because I started getting deeper into the territory of indoor stuff and my teacher started reminding me "this is not for sharing" sometimes as an afterthought, i.e. I already wrote stuff and then he tells me, this is not for public disclosure -- and of course I obey my teacher completely, without questioning his judgment, that I do share with traditional taiji disciples.   So I hid the main taiji thread in order to review it, possibly put together a coherent unified version -- there was a lot of material there that to my knowledge can't be found anywhere else (at least I have never been able to find it when I looked), and I meant to run this version by my teacher and ask him which parts are OK to share, then reintroduce to TDB (possibly as a link to a blog, which I already started working on.) 

 

So, if you ever feel that your meditative practice might benefit from oomphing it with some more taiji, my stuff may be available again by then, improved on, hopefully, while not trespassing into insubordination (which was my concern behind hiding it.)     

 

I appreciate the explanation and feel a little sorry that you felt compelled to do so. I knew what was happening, I’ve been there with my teacher and always respected his wishes (well, almost always). I have no doubt your approach to the teaching and lineage will be very similar to mine.

 

I’m excited to hear that you’re refining and creating something beautiful out of those raw notes. I have about 300 pages of notes plus many digital documents - notes, descriptions, translations of my teacher’s original hanzi of form names, curricula, etc... Priceless stuff. Always thought of creating something to share out of it but it hasn’t happened. My near term project is developing a meditative approach to address chronic pain and opioid dependence. The basic framework is there but the details and implementation will take some time.

 

I was poking a little fun in the context of the post I quoted and really did feel a loss at the heart of it, which is as it should be. Those are your pearls and gems, not mine. I think these things mean so much more and have so much more impact when they are ours experientially. Especially when they are a direct gift from a master. It is a very close bond and a huge responsibility. I’ve got my own from my teachers and the gratitude I feel often brings tears.

❤️❤️❤️

🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

 

 

 

[Rocky Lionmouth]

 

 

To clarify, i litterally teared up like this man above when i learned of this, there is no quip or irony implied.

Edited March 19, 2018 by Rocky Lionmouth

[Apech]

TM (and everyone),

 

I fully understand why you felt you wanted to exit this place but I hope you will reconsider it, if for no other reason than the number of people who value your contributions.  We were on the mod team together in the old days so I know the input you have made to this place from before I even joined I think.  One thing DBs relies on is a variety of views, opinions and understandings (as well as systems and traditions) which are expressed here.  This is what makes it such a rich and lively place.

 

I always remember Sean’s words to me when I first joined the mod team that it was not about silencing, banning or policing threads - it was about making DBs an enjoyable and great place for people to hang out and discuss what interests them.  Apart from the technical side of things (which I never really mastered ) this is what the staff side is really all about.  Obviously they are all volunteers and the expectation that they do this perfectly and all the time is a unrealistic - and i think we can say that generally those who take up this arduous and unrewarding task do a brilliant job.

 

The core rule for me in maintaining a healthy and civil conversation on here is the original ‘no insult’ policy - because obviously one insult leads to another and then a flame war.  It’s not about who is right or wrong or who swears to worst but about stopping this effect in its tracks when it starts to derail threads and topics.  Some insults are overt and some are more in the realm of the passive aggressive, demeaning or discounting put-downs.  Now clearly when the conversation gets heated there can be some barbed comments especially it seems when discussing Mr. Trump.  Some may be let go because it is not a derail and its in the Pit/Off Topic area.

 

This then for the moderators is quite a nuanced thing to moderate.  The key principle being is it or is it not ad hominem.  I can’t see for the life of me how calling someone ‘butthurt’ can be anything else but ad hominem - no matter how you understanding the meaning of that expression.  It is just saying ‘you don’t have a valid point of view just hurt feelings’ - and therefore discounting the ‘other’.  So I think your report was fully justified - although the decision of the mods how to respond is up to them collectively and objectively.  I think reporting twice is ok also - but the release of your confidential report text is a big mistake and a kind of breach of etiquette if nothing else.

 

 

Edited March 19, 2018 by Apech

[thelerner]

It's a time of year of shifting energies.  Makes it easier to take offense and nurse embers into flames. 

People- groups, families fight.  It happens.  Its good to discuss, but sometimes a long walk, some time apart is helpful.  And making long term decisions when angry is bad.  Probably even writing too much in an angry mood is bad.  (but then how would we write at all).

 

In any case, I treasure Taomeow's presence on the board and the mods often uncomfortable work. 

 

[Taomeow]

I love you all, guys.  

 

To those whose PMs I haven't answered yet -- I will, with gratitude and hopefully not on the run, as soon as "real life" provides a chunk of time -- it's been demanding lately.  The upside of the whole situation is that a treasure trove of human kindness and wisdom has opened up for me -- and my worst fear, to have wasted my qi here without making the slightest difference for anyone, has been mercifully put to rest.  I'm grateful for all the feedback, not because I needed kudos but because I needed to know it wasn't a total waste of taomeowing after all.  

 

I'm thinking, feeling, and asking my heart -- "are you still in it?"  Whatever I decide, I will decide with a lighter heart now.  Thank you.     

Edited March 20, 2018 by Taomeow

[Mandrake]

Being here from the inception (G*d, has it been what, 13+ years already?) the trunk of this forum has for me been the old time members, with some colourful birds now and then visiting and sitting in the branches and chirping wonderfully in the foliage.

 

You leaving fills me with both melancholy and with gratitude for all the amazing people I have the fortune to interact with, no matter the level.

 

I've learned to embrace change so in any case: Heartful thanks for all the quality sharing in the past, and all the possible encounters in the future. Cats aren't board animals, and they sometimes need to sneak into the forest and rest.

 

Mandrake

 

[blue eyed snake]

On 3/20/2018 at 3:11 AM, Taomeow said:

my worst fear, to have wasted my qi here without making the slightest difference for anyone,

 

Hmm, remembering this thread

Methinks it was clear from the outset that you've made a difference for daobums

 

[thelerner]

You've got a couple long quotes on my best of the Tao  bums thread, you'd have more if I kept it active. 

 

Cause you are real deep. Ornnery and real real deep. Meeting you is definitely on my bucket list. 

[Brian]

I followed a link someone e-mailed me to a post in a completely different thread, found several PMs from many months ago which I have now answered, and figured I'd poke around the forum for a bit to see if things had improved here.

 

<sigh>

 

Perhaps I'll check in again in six months (or a year or whatever...)

 

 

[Marblehead]

Well, it is my intention that I will still be here whenever you return.

 

[zerostao]

39 minutes ago, Brian said:

I followed a link someone e-mailed me to a post in a completely different thread, found several PMs from many months ago which I have now answered, and figured I'd poke around the forum for a bit to see if things had improved here.

 

<sigh>

 

Perhaps I'll check in again in six months (or a year or whatever...)

 

 

I am trying to imagine being away from the forum for an extended time, returning to find Taomeow gone, wow. Somehow, it all started at a dialogue between her and me; I still can't believe it went down as it did. I took a six week or so silent protest (perhaps 6 months would have been more appropriate). Only a small handful of bums openly expressed support for Taomeow. For the sake of trying to heal, I don't want to mention the other rudeness she was subjected to. Other than sean, it is hard for me to think of a member who has given more to this site than her.

Brian, it is good to see you again, you have been missed, I wish your return didn't have to find this unfortunate situation.

Edited June 15, 2018 by zerostao

[silent thunder]

The beauty of Taomeow.  She still resonates even in her absence.  Her thousands of contributions are so full of intent and reflect a mind and spirit penetratingly present that even in absence she shines.

 

I nearly left the site myself when I saw what went down...  and sense another Bums and all out media fast approaching for me as well soon.

 

Taomeow's presence is fabric and foundation here for me and continues to resonate in spite of her lack of recent posting... her years of commitment to sharing incredibly detailed and insightful energy filled contributions emanates with continued presence for me... as do yours Brian. 

 

Her words are still intact and her words often come to my mind (as do so many of the deeply connected posters) when they reflect and resonate with the conditions of my mind and environment, they settle on my pond and I find my life enriched in ways I could never have encountered without this place. 

 

I find the words of this site to be a companion when I'm no where near a keyboard.  Yet... all things have a season and shift is in deep flow currently.

 

I'm deeply grateful for the strength, resilience and incredibly intimately open sharing offered by so many of the foundation contributers here.  I am enriched, embroadened and revitalized here, even as I am surprised and hurt at times.

 

Much love Brian... Taomeow and so many others! 

Deep gratitude

*deep bow of respect*

Creighton

 

 

 

 

[joeblast]

 

[rainbowvein]

On 6/15/2018 at 10:38 AM, Marblehead said:

Well, it is my intention that I will still be here whenever you return.

 

Sometimes life steps in the way and derails our best laid plans, dear @Marblehead.

 

_/\_

[dawei]

1 hour ago, rainbowvein said:

 

Sometimes life steps in the way and derails our best laid plans, dear @Marblehead.

 

_/\_

 

yep... he was an optimist 

 

[zerostao]

On 12/29/2018 at 6:26 PM, dawei said:

 

yep... he was an optimist 

 

Was?