Dealing with some sort of awakening of the subconscious?

[Bud Jetsun]

Appreciate Now with each breath in, appreciate Now with each breath out, use the energy in each breath to live the Dao. 

[Tryingtodobetter]

On 4/2/2018 at 3:05 PM, Aetherous said:

 

That sounds like a stress type of insomnia, which will go away over time, the more that the stress unwinds.

A Chinese Medicine practitioner could maybe help out here. Tell them what this type of insomnia is like, and that you heard about "Gallbladder deficiency" and want to try "wen dan tang" or "an shen ding zhi wan" if they think it's appropriate.

 

 

It's just coincidence.

 

Most people come across oranges or something to have to do with the orange color, etc. Same with plants. Same with mountains. Everyone is aware of these things in life.

 

 

The things that you talk about bleeding into your life is just you being more aware. We all share common experiences in life, so it's not extraordinary if she talks about an orange, and then you see someone eating one (or something). Oranges are in every grocery store.

I understand needing to take a break from people who are making this state of mind worse. You got to do what you got to do! Don't feel bad. If they're your friend, they want you to do what it takes to get well.

 

Just try to think that people share common experiences.

Or just avoid environments that worsen delusional perception.

 

I'm going to see an acupuncture expert who also specializes in Chinese medicine, I've been seeing him three times now.

 

Also, what do you have against sleeping medications, I remember you saying not to get Ambien and that was one of the ones that I was thinking about getting specifically

[Tryingtodobetter]

On 4/4/2018 at 5:51 PM, Bud Jetsun said:

Appreciate Now with each breath in, appreciate Now with each breath out, use the energy in each breath to live the Dao. 

 

I talked to another guy who struggled with something similar also involving talking to a woman he cared for a lot and I'm having a hard time reconciling it as delusion.

 

I used Facebook and most of time it's okay, though in the past and yesterday people said something in chat that seemed especially relative.

 

How do I stop my brain my drawing correlations where there aren't any?

 

 

[Tryingtodobetter]

Im still waking up in the middle of the night and not getting much sleep, how do I start to resolve the recently occured past stress and trauma that I think is keeping me from sleeping throughout the night. 

 

Will this stop if I only continue to get a couple/fee hours of sleep each night?

[Aetherous]

5 hours ago, Tryingtodobetter said:

I'm going to see an acupuncture expert who also specializes in Chinese medicine, I've been seeing him three times now.

 

Important that they use herbal medicine, too. If not, check out one that does.

 

5 hours ago, Tryingtodobetter said:

Also, what do you have against sleeping medications, I remember you saying not to get Ambien and that was one of the ones that I was thinking about getting specifically

 

I think they're unnatural, which brings an unnatural response in the body. People can get dependent on them, and maybe the pills don't work after a while...so then sleep gets truly screwed up, because you've become dependent on them to get any sleep, but now they don't really do the trick. If you increase the dose, there's a risk of the medications stopping the breath/dying.

Doctors tend to say not to use them for more than a week.
 

4 hours ago, Tryingtodobetter said:

Im still waking up in the middle of the night and not getting much sleep, how do I start to resolve the recently occured past stress and trauma that I think is keeping me from sleeping throughout the night. 

 

Just the attention training meditation. It takes time.

If breathing practice doesn't worsen things, then taking breaths in and out gently so that it produces a slight feeling of elation, is good. That unwinds stress.

When you wake up in the middle of the night, try going for a 10-20 min walk...provided that it doesn't worsen the mental state. That can help release the extra energy from stress, and you might find that you can pass out when you get back. If walking isn't doable, then maybe try 8 brocades qigong.

[Tryingtodobetter]

22 hours ago, Aetherous said:

 

Important that they use herbal medicine, too. If not, check out one that does.

 

 

I think they're unnatural, which brings an unnatural response in the body. People can get dependent on them, and maybe the pills don't work after a while...so then sleep gets truly screwed up, because you've become dependent on them to get any sleep, but now they don't really do the trick. If you increase the dose, there's a risk of the medications stopping the breath/dying.

Doctors tend to say not to use them for more than a week.
 

 

Just the attention training meditation. It takes time.

If breathing practice doesn't worsen things, then taking breaths in and out gently so that it produces a slight feeling of elation, is good. That unwinds stress.

When you wake up in the middle of the night, try going for a 10-20 min walk...provided that it doesn't worsen the mental state. That can help release the extra energy from stress, and you might find that you can pass out when you get back. If walking isn't doable, then maybe try 8 brocades qigong.

 

Thank you for all of your help thus far, it's just that I don't have much time. My parents are expecting me to return to work soon, the woman I'm talking to I don't want to leave her and the isolation gets to me at times. I pretty much have to be somewhat functional soon.

 

I was in a busy city for a few hours yesterday and while some of the conversations were "sticking" to me they didn't give Mr the same anxiety until my mood faltered a bit towards the end.

 

Concerning hospitalization I fear trauma that's sometimes inherent with that and the side effects of some of the drugs that they are known to put people on who have had similar cases

[Tryingtodobetter]

I pretty much have to restart my life and get up and moving soon, figuratively and literally like moving out of the house and making new friends etc

[Tryingtodobetter]

On 4/6/2018 at 9:02 AM, Aetherous said:

 

Important that they use herbal medicine, too. If not, check out one that does.

 

 

I think they're unnatural, which brings an unnatural response in the body. People can get dependent on them, and maybe the pills don't work after a while...so then sleep gets truly screwed up, because you've become dependent on them to get any sleep, but now they don't really do the trick. If you increase the dose, there's a risk of the medications stopping the breath/dying.

Doctors tend to say not to use them for more than a week.
 

 

Just the attention training meditation. It takes time.

If breathing practice doesn't worsen things, then taking breaths in and out gently so that it produces a slight feeling of elation, is good. That unwinds stress.

When you wake up in the middle of the night, try going for a 10-20 min walk...provided that it doesn't worsen the mental state. That can help release the extra energy from stress, and you might find that you can pass out when you get back. If walking isn't doable, then maybe try 8 brocades qigong.

 

Am I being punished?

 

Even you suggesting a 10-20 min walk is what I had already been doing, then the Chinese herb recommendation after I had already been seeing an acupuncturist, then the orange thing.

 

I won't speak of the kind of patterns I see day to day, it just feels like I'm being punished. I still haven't been sleeping a lot and I don't know what to do. I masturbated today and it came back later in the day after I went to get food.

 

How long is this going to take to resolve, more importantly will it resolve?

 

It feels like my passion for so many things is missing, like I can't tell what I'm interested in, even though i was planning to be an artist a few weeks ago because I've spent my life making different kinds of art.

 

I don't want to bother you, I just don't know what to do at this point

[moment]

On 4/7/2018 at 5:25 PM, Tryingtodobetter said:

It feels like my passion for so many things is missing, like I can't tell what I'm interested in, even though i was planning to be an artist a few weeks ago because I've spent my life making different kinds of art.

 

 

What type of art??

Edited July 6, 2019 by moment

[Aetherous]

2 minutes ago, Tryingtodobetter said:

Am I being punished?

 

Even you suggesting a 10-20 min walk is what I had already been doing, then the Chinese herb recommendation after I had already been seeing an acupuncturist, then the orange thing.

 

No, you aren't...and especially not by me.

About the herb recommendation...some acupuncturists use them and some don't. My recommendations were herb specific, so I wanted to be sure you're seeing a practitioner who can accommodate that. That's all that was about.

Suggesting a short walk if up at night is just something I've noticed can help make me tired again...but if it doesn't work for you, then don't do it. I also suggested 8 brocades qigong if walking isn't good...just something to release some energy, so that the body can sleep again.

 

2 minutes ago, Tryingtodobetter said:

I won't speak of the kind of patterns I see day to day, it just feels like I'm being punished. I still haven't been sleeping a lot and I don't know what to do. I masturbated today and it came back later in the day after I went to get food.

 

How long is this going to take to resolve, more importantly will it resolve?

 

It is a very intense experience. When I went through it, it felt like literal hell on earth. Everything was so weird.

But it's just a condition of the mind. Reality exists beyond our mind.

This is an aspect I wanted to mention before: we can always cope with what's going on in the moment by paying attention to some mundane thing. In every moment there is something we can put our attention on.

Let's say you're at a restaurant and things are seeming weird. Just pay attention to reality...there is some silverware in front of you, maybe a plate and a glass to drink out of. Those things are real, and are good to pay attention to. The more you just pay attention to those real things, the less you're paying attention to the mind. It's grounding.

Feeling like you're being punished, noticing patterns, etc...that's all just mind delusion stuff. It creates a story that perpetuates itself. But that's not real...you can always just take a break from it, and live in reality.

Something I liked to do when in the healing phase, was to open the windows to let a little breeze in, let the curtains blow, have a very lightly steeped cup of tea...and just notice those things until the tea was fully drank. It can be a very pleasant experience, and such things give us a break from the stress.

I think it's good to cultivate those things in our lives as much as we can. What brings peace, comfort, and enjoyment? What do you like?

Another thing I noticed was when I'd go outside, feeling the breeze on my skin was kind of a blissful thing.

These days, I notice if my sheets are freshly washed, I really enjoy using them that night...it's so much more cozy.

Those are just examples of what you can notice and then cultivate more of in your life...whatever helps.

How long will it take to resolve? I'm not sure. I think you've already had some good results, with the meditation helping and sometimes the delusions or feelings seeming to go away temporarily.

To me that's a sign that it will resolve. But you have to keep your wits about you, and remember not to buy into the delusions. The easiest way is to just not believe any of the stories of the mind, and deal only with real things.

Another one of those stories is feeling like you're being punished. If that's the story of your life and current experience, then you may start looking for proof of that happening...and you'll probably find it, attributing every bad thing to the veracity of that story.

It's better to just drop such things, and live in reality.

 

2 minutes ago, Tryingtodobetter said:

It feels like my passion for so many things is missing, like I can't tell what I'm interested in, even though i was planning to be an artist a few weeks ago because I've spent my life making different kinds of art.

 

I think once things calm down, that will come back. Being in a very stressed out state of mind puts us into more of a survival mode, with a fight or flight reaction of the nervous system...so in that kind of state, we're not really in touch with our passions. Once things are calming down, then you can relax and all that kind of stuff will come back to you.

If there's pressure to figure it out RIGHT NOW, maybe it's good to realize that now is actually not the time to figure it out...now is the time to heal the mind, and get some rest and relaxation.

That's just what I think...I'm not a mental health expert.

Also, I'm sure you still have preferences for one thing over another...maybe you would think it's really gross to eat worms, but a cake wouldn't be so bad (as an example). Something that helped me figure it out was to get a catalog that had a lot of products in it, and flip through it seeing what seemed cool to me. Do some shopping and see what you like...that can help you get interested in things again.

 

2 minutes ago, Tryingtodobetter said:

I don't want to bother you, I just don't know what to do at this point

 

It's okay...I just recommend to reread my posts on here and do the simple things. I suspect this post might help you out a lot, too...to realize that stories of the mind and real world objects are two separate things to pay attention to, and one of them can heal the mind, can be a pretty big help.

[centertime]

Others suggest concentrating on tan tien as a solution.

For me, placing my heads on tan tien.. makes the process stronger.

I noticed I can collect energy that way which strengthens my mind.