The other side of the river

[Mig]

I wonder if this story is from Zhuangzi. The story of a ferryman who is asked by a villager and a young man how was on the side of the river. The villager complaining how bad it was where he was and the young man how good it was where he was and the ferryman gave them the same response about how bad it was and how good it was. Something like  the grass is (always) greener (on the other side) If someone knows the Chinese name it will be very helpful.

 

Thanks.

[Marblehead]

I doubt that is from The Chuang Tzu.

[Wu Ming Jen]

The farmer and the horse

One day his horse runs away. And his neighbor comes over and says, to commiserate, “I’m so sorry about your horse.” And the farmer says “Who Knows What’s Good or Bad?” The neighbor is confused because this is clearly terrible. The horse is the most valuable thing he owns.

 

But the horse comes back the next day and he brings with him 12 feral horses. The neighbor comes back over to celebrate, “Congratulations on your great fortune!” And the farmer replies again: “Who Knows What’s Good or Bad?”

 

And the next day the farmer’s son is taming one of the wild horses and he’s thrown and breaks his leg. The neighbor comes back over, “I’m so sorry about your son.” The farmer repeats: “Who Knows What’s Good or Bad?”

 

Sure enough, the next day the army comes through their village and is conscripting able-bodied young men to go and fight in war, but the son is spared because of his broken leg.

And this story can go on and on like that. Good. Bad. Who knows?

 

 

To reach the other side of the river one needs a boat. On the other side one does not need a boat anymore.

 

You may cross the great water is an auspicious outlook.

 

 

[Lost in Translation]

Quote

[When is a more sophisticated area] it is natural that one's disposition be affected by different styles. But it is vulgar and foolish to look down upon the ways of one's own district as being boorish, or to be even a bit open to the persuasion of the other place's ways and to think about giving up one's own. That one's own district is unsophisticated and unpolished is a great treasure. Imitating another style is simply a sham.

 

Yamamoto Tsunetomo
Hagakure,
Chapter I, p. 28
Kodansha International
 

[Rara]

19 hours ago, Wu Ming Jen said:

The farmer and the horse

One day his horse runs away. And his neighbor comes over and says, to commiserate, “I’m so sorry about your horse.” And the farmer says “Who Knows What’s Good or Bad?” The neighbor is confused because this is clearly terrible. The horse is the most valuable thing he owns.

 

But the horse comes back the next day and he brings with him 12 feral horses. The neighbor comes back over to celebrate, “Congratulations on your great fortune!” And the farmer replies again: “Who Knows What’s Good or Bad?”

 

And the next day the farmer’s son is taming one of the wild horses and he’s thrown and breaks his leg. The neighbor comes back over, “I’m so sorry about your son.” The farmer repeats: “Who Knows What’s Good or Bad?”

 

Sure enough, the next day the army comes through their village and is conscripting able-bodied young men to go and fight in war, but the son is spared because of his broken leg.

And this story can go on and on like that. Good. Bad. Who knows?

 

 

To reach the other side of the river one needs a boat. On the other side one does not need a boat anymore.

 

You may cross the great water is an auspicious outlook.

 

 

 

Yes. This story really helped me out a good 7 years ago. What's it's origin?

[Mig]

This is the story I am referring to:

 

The Other Side of the River

Posted by Derek Lin on December 20th, 2017 in Tao Stories

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Once upon a time in ancient China, there was a ferryman who worked along a stretch of the Yangtze river. There were several villages and towns on both sides of the river, so he had steady business taking passengers from one side to the other. Over the years, this brought him into contact with people from all walks of life.

One day, a villager approached the ferryman as he was waiting for potential passengers by his boat. The villager said: “Sir, perhaps you can help me with a question. I’m thinking about moving to the other side of the river. You are probably quite familiar with the people over there. Can you tell me about them?”

The ferryman was curious: “Why are you thinking about moving? Is there something wrong with your village?”

“My village is horrible,” the villager said. “I am surrounded by the worst people you can imagine, so I do not want to live there any longer than necessary. My neighbors make noise when I need quiet. They do not care about the streets being dirty. They have no respect for me. Therefore, I also have no respect for them.”

“That does sound horrible,” the ferryman sympathized. “Have you ever let them know how you feel?”

“Oh, absolutely!” The villager said, with anger: “I give them unmistakable signs! They disturb me during the day, so I make noise to disturb them at night. They never clean the streets, so I push my trash out the door to teach them a lesson. Whenever they are rude to me, I am rude right back to them twice as much. Of course they know how I feel!”

“I see,” the ferryman said. “I have bad news for you. The people on the other side of the river are not so different from the ones in your village. You will find all the things you dislike about your neighbors quite prevalent over there too. If you decide to move, you’ll expend a lot of time and effort, only to end up in the same situation.”

“I knew it!” the villager exclaimed in frustration, and started walking away. “There must be a better place somewhere. I’ll find it!”

Moments later, another man, much younger than the first, approached the ferryman. “Excuse me,” he said, “I am thinking about moving to the other side of the river. You are probably quite familiar with the people over there. Can you tell me about them?”

Again the ferryman expressed curiosity: “Why are you thinking about moving?”

The young man said: “I would like to study spiritual teachings with a Tao sage who lives on the other side. If I move closer to him, I can save a lot of time crossing the river back and forth. However, I am a little reluctant to leave my home over here.”

“Why the reluctance?”

“My village is a wonderful place to live,” the young man beamed. “I have the best neighbors you can imagine. Everyone is kind and considerate, and we are always looking out for one another. Everyone works to keep the neighborhood clean and make it a pleasant environment. There is much mutual assistance and respect, and that is why I am reluctant to leave. I am just not sure I can find such great neighbors when I’m on the other side of the river.”

“I see,” the ferryman said. “I have good news for you. The people on the other side are not much different from the ones in your village. You will find all the qualities you like about your neighbors just as prevalent over there. If you do decide to move, it won’t take you long to become part of a community over there that you enjoy.”

The young man was happy to hear this. He thanked the ferryman profusely before heading back home, to start planning his move.

A nearby street vendor, who had been watching quietly all this time, came over as the young man left. He said to the ferryman: “I could not help but overhear the two conversations you just had. It’s especially interesting to me, since I know those two fellows. They come from the same village, and both of them asked about the same place across the river. Why did you give them such different answers?”

“The difference came from them, not from me or the place,” the ferryman said. “The first villager is unaware that all the things he hates originate from within himself: the noisy disturbance, the dirty environment, the lack of respect, and so on. His environment reflects what is already in his heart. Unless he changes himself internally, he will continue to recreate the same negative setting no matter where he goes.

“It was similar with the young man,” the ferryman continued. “He may not realize it, but all the things he enjoys about his neighborhood also originate from his heart: the kindness, the consideration, the mutual assistance and respect, and everyone pitching in for the greater good. As long as his positive nature does not change, he will always create the same positive setting no matter where he goes.”

“Ah, I see,” the street vendor smiled in comprehension. “So… things are not necessarily better on the other side?”

“No,” said the ferryman, “but things definitely get better on every side… when they get better on the inside!”

---

 
We often hear people talk about the grass being greener on the other side. This is the same mindset as that of the first villager. The current place is not so great, so some other place must be better. Everything will improve, and all the problems will go away, if only you can get yourself from here to there.

 

This applies not just to places, but other aspects of life as well. Some other guy seems to have a better job, with nicer coworkers at a more established company. Some other family seems to have a better house, with nicer neighbors and…  hey, even their pets seem cuter! Somehow, the grass has a way of looking greener anywhere but here.

As the ferryman pointed out, getting to the greener grass may not be such a great idea. People who make such a move will initially find everything quite rosy, but this never lasts. After a while, the honeymoon ends and the novelty wears off. They discover things are not as ideal as they first thought, and their problems reappear, much to their annoyance.

Before long, they start looking for greener grass again. Maybe the last move wasn’t quite right, but the next move will be. Everything will be better once they get to this other place… so, the process restarts itself, for yet another cycle.

The young man had a different mindset, despite being from the same village. For him, the greenest grass was at his present location, so he was naturally not inclined to go anywhere. Why face the uncertainty of another place, when he had everything he wanted in the current place?

The ferryman pointed out that, for him, another place could be pretty good too. Even though the young man didn’t want to move, he could be just as content in the new place as he had been in the old place. Once he made the transition, he would find the greenest grass growing abundantly in his new environment. It would be as if the greenness had followed him across the river.

How can we be more like the young man, always ending up with the greenest grass no matter what? It begins with the way we look at and think about the world. We need to realize the greener grass somewhere else is illusory. We need to see through that illusion, and stop pursuing it from one place to another.

This means the cultivation of stability and commitment. No matter where we happen to be, we need to take a good look at the current situation, and stick around to work with it in creative ways. We can always go somewhere else after we have made a difference here, leaving the place better than we found it.

More importantly, this also means taking care of the grass within. For both the villager and the young man, the external world reflected their internal reality, not the other way around. The same is true for all of us. Think of the heart as a garden. The grass that grows in this garden is the state of your spirituality. Depending on how much you neglect or tend to your spiritual needs, the grass will wither or flourish.

What does this grass need? First, it has to be watered. Let the Tao be the water that nourishes your garden on a regular basis. When you apply the Tao in your life, you are letting in the water every day, refreshing everything as it flows through. The grass will grow beautifully, drawing what it needs from the Tao.

The grass also needs the sun. This is the upbeat outlook, the bright smile, and the sense of humor you bring to everything you do. It’s an infectious energy that builds on itself, lightening the mood for you, as well as the mood of everyone around you. Within your heart, this energy is the sunlight that shines through the garden, bringing vitality and brightening everything — especially the grass.

If you provide the water and the sun consistently, the grass will not only become beautifully lush, but also begin to work its magic in your world. Whether it’s the job, long-term career, romance, enduring relationships, or anything else — every aspect of your life will become more rewarding and fulfilling.

Now you know the truth. The grass isn’t really greener on the other side, but it is definitely greener on your side — because you make it that way. It can be as green as you want it to be, through the work of internal cultivation. As long as you walk the Tao and keep yourself on the path, the greener grass will grow with every step you take… and follow you wherever you go.

[Mig]

Just got confirmed it is not ZZ, but still don't know the origin of the story.

[Marblehead]

7 hours ago, Mig said:

Just got confirmed it is not ZZ, but still don't know the origin of the story.

Have you considered asking Derek Lin?

 

[Mig]

On 4/2/2018 at 1:56 AM, Marblehead said:

Have you considered asking Derek Lin?

 

Yep, but no answer. Oh well, sometime in the future, I will know it.

[Marblehead]

5 hours ago, Mig said:

Yep, but no answer. Oh well, sometime in the future, I will know it.

Derek is a Religious Taoist so he encounters stories from various traditions that I am unaware of.

 

I just had an idea.  Hold on a minute ... ...

 

...

 

Nope.

 

I have a book titled "Taoist Tales" compiled by Raymond Van Over and thought the story might be included but it is not.  Oh well.

 

I just did a quick search and conclude that it could be of, not only Chinese, but of Buddhist or Japanese origin as well.  The closest I saw was Buddhist.

 

[Mig]

11 hours ago, Marblehead said:

Derek is a Religious Taoist so he encounters stories from various traditions that I am unaware of.

 

I just had an idea.  Hold on a minute ... ...

 

...

 

Nope.

 

I have a book titled "Taoist Tales" compiled by Raymond Van Over and thought the story might be included but it is not.  Oh well.

 

I just did a quick search and conclude that it could be of, not only Chinese, but of Buddhist or Japanese origin as well.  The closest I saw was Buddhist.

 

most likely is Buddhist, one day I will find out, just curious by nature until my last day. Thanks anyways

Edited April 5, 2018 by Mig