expresed anger

[Mulan]

Hello everyone, I'm experiencing some issues at the moment, so if you have familiar experiences I would be grateful for any advice. 

 

So I'm trying to change my life for better, find a new place, new job again and again, hobbies,  but I carry a bad negative energy( or aura I don't know) from the past.

I'm not an angry person, but I feel that I have a lot of bottled anger in me, my unconscious mind always starts negative thinking about particular one person which was in my life for many years, last years I just couldn't stand that person but he kept showing up in my life if I ignored him, he used my fears to get in to my life, I just didn't knew how to react then because I wasn't unware of my self. 

 

So I'm not in touch with that person for about 2 months I gave him clear message that I don't want to be in touch with him anymore, he's not calling or texting me anymore but using other people to get to my space, still showing around the place where I live, wants my energy.

 

So lately I been waking up at 2AM in the morning fully awake, feeling some strong negative feelings emotions which quickly passes away. Mind racing with negative past thoughts experiences, I cant stop them just trying to stay present.

 

Last night before sleep I did some Meditation, did short session of Zhan Zhuang went to sleep. Had a dream for first time in my life as I can remember that I was expressing my anger to one person, physically beating him shouting on him, made sure that all others around see that and hear it. I was scaring that person made sure he knows that in the future I will do the same thing to him. After that I walked away the corner and

had a feeling that I been chased by that group of people who been there, I hide in the grass and watch who's passing by but it wasn't them.

 

so I woke up completely calm 2.30 am my mind was not racing, I read online that 2 AM is a liver channel, and anger is stored in liver,

all makes sense.

 

Wonder is there some methods like maybe shaking practise or something to release that anger energetically , because I think by being aware

and meditating helps me understand my anger issues but it doesn't release it energetically.

 

Thanks Peace

[Kar3n]

Think your dream may have been a release of some of that anger? If so, now it is time to let it go and move on.

 

Good luck to you.

[Apech]

Hi Mulan,

 

Emotions are important in a number of ways.  For a start you can understand them as E-motions - that is motion of E (where E = energy/qi etc.)  So they are energy in motion or you could say active energy.  If you think of your being as physical, energetic and mental - then emotions sit between the energy body and the mental body.  In one direction they create heat and movement which affects the physical body creating stored up tension and so on - which could eventually lead to disease (literally dis-ease) - in the other direction they generate thoughts about the object of anger - another person or a situation.  If this is very persistent then it means you have not assimilated the information in the experience or situation which generated the anger.

 

Firstly you have to attend to your own conduct.  That is remind yourself that you do not intend harm toward another (I assume this is so  ) and that allowing yourself to be dominated by emotion is a loss of freedom.  This is like taking a stand - you intend to be the best possible being you can be and not an emotion driven person.

 

But that's not really enough because the anger has stored up energy and suppressing it could do you harm.  Actually in higher teachings emotion can become the path - although this is not easy.  So in terms of the anger itself you might need to remind yourself it is not a 'thing'.  Actually it has a number of causes and conditions - such as yourself, your history, the other person and their history, also all the conditions which brought about the situation in the world which made you angry.  If you imagine the surface of the an ocean which is turbulent - then this is an 'effect' caused by ocean currents coming together, the wind, the sun, temperature variation and so on.  So the anger in this analogy is just the effect of turbulence which is dependent on a whole host of conditions.  If just one of these conditions goes away then the turbulence will subside or at least change.  As an effect it is ephemeral - in fact if you sit quietly and summon up the anger in your mind - then just watch it without trying the change anything - you will notice that the precise feeling you have will begin to alter right away.  You can see that it is a temporary fluctuating effect which you are experiencing.  

 

In fact if you able to remove one of the causative conditions - such as your own identification - you can witness the anger subside -  then you can confirm to yourself that it is not a 'thing' but an effect.  With a bit of work you can make it subside completely - then the question is 'where is a anger now?' -  where did it go? - and the answer is nowhere because it didn't really exist as a 'thing' in the first place.  If the anger is very stubborn and intractable then you may need to gently probe the feeling content to see the resonances and connections within it.  As you do, and the more you see and understand the energy of the anger will be gradually freed up to become available to you for normal life functions.

 

The other thing you can do is to deliberately visualize the person with whom you are angry and deliberately and as strongly as you can wish them happiness - thus reversing the polarity of the habitually negative thoughts.  This will balance your subtle body which the anger has distorted.

 

These are just my thoughts of course

[Jeff]

Hi Mulan,

 

My suggestion is probably going to be a little more radical.  You are currently sort of caught up in a hyper-receptive sense of self, and in your current state you are probably not really ready to try to open your heart or reside in the moment.  It is more like you are are being barraged by the emotional energy of the anger and holding it all in.  As a first step I would suggest that you try something like go into some place where no one is around (maybe even in the car) and just focus on this anger and scream.  Feel free to lose it and feel the anger and pain.  I also don't think that it problem if you have dreams about shouting and beating him, as at your current stage it is more about taking back your own personal power and sense of self. Transmitting that anger "outbound" at this point is far better than trying to hold it in an possibly sublimating it. Vent the rage and let it out.  He was an asshole, and take back your own sense of self.

 

As a second (later) step, it is more about opening your heart and accepting some love in. Things like forgiveness for the guy can come later, but things like playing with children (or a dog) will help. Your outbound emotional help and support for others, especially when you are leading/responsible will help breakdown those barriers. Nothing like a loving hug.  

 

Later and with time some humor can help too. My kids grew up in a time when the purple dinosaur Barney was very popular. When not caught up in the anger itself, things like picturing some painful scene and then have something like Barney eat it all up, can help with releasing the attached energy of the memories.

 

Best wishes,

Jeff

[Daemon]

☮️

Edited October 5, 2018 by Daemon