Aggressive, unpleasant and violent people; do we need more of them?

[Daemon]

15 hours ago, ilumairen said:

 

As the phrase passive aggressive is being used, I looked it up. 

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-superhuman-mind/201611/5-signs-youre-dealing-passive-aggressive-person

 

 

Good move! I've noticed that this diagnosis is usually deployed on bulletin boards as an ad hominem by actively aggressive users. The remainder of the deployments are almost invariably the projection of the passively agressive. Many of the aggressors on bulletin boards display both actively and passively and, to be clear, neither active nor passive aggression is something I've noticed emanating from you.

For me, me ad hominems are an invaluable indicator on bulletin boards and the reason that I usually put another user on ignore on this bulletin board. I find passive aggression on bulletin boards more difficult to spot.

There's further useful advice in the link that you provided for anyone having to deal with real life scenarios.

 

Quote

 

When ignoring passive-aggressive behavior is not feasible, perhaps because it strongly affects you psychologically, the best you can do is to maintain distance from the person as much as possible.

If the aggressor is a colleague who works near you, ask if you can be transferred to another space in your workplace so you don't have to be around the person all the time. That might take care of the problem. If you cannot be moved, you can do your best to interact only minimally with the individual. Every interaction should be professional and to the point, which will deter the aggressor from escalating.

 

 

☮️

 

Edited June 21, 2018 by Daemon

[Stosh]

35 minutes ago, Daemon said:

 

Good move! I've noticed that this diagnosis is usually deployed on bulletin boards as an ad hominem by actively aggressive users (the remainder of the deployments are almost invariably the projection of the passively agressive). For me, me ad hominems are an invaluable indicator (and the reason that I usually put another user on ignore on this bulletin board).

There's further useful advice in the link that you provided concerning real life scenarios.

 

 

☮️

 

Like I said ,,, push you off your food , while you pat yourself on the back to save your ego the embarrassment. 

Interesting though that you paint essentially EVeryone as being, either ,  passive aggressive or aggressive , if they make the 'diagnosis' ... which ironically would make you one of the aggressive, or passive aggressive, people TOO !!  

Unless you are excluding yourself for some mystical reason , like , 'its not bad when Daemon does it.' 

and then ,, and then ,, to PROVE your conviction ,, wait , wait this is great ,, to PROVE your conviction , you put users on IGNORE !  so as not to deal with it  ahhahhahhaaa 

 

 

Edited June 21, 2018 by Stosh

[Daemon]

1 hour ago, Stosh said:

Like I said ,,, push you off your food , while you pat yourself on the back to save your ego the embarrassment. 

Interesting though that you paint essentially EVeryone as being, either ,  passive aggressive or aggressive , if they make the 'diagnosis' ... which ironically would make you one of the aggressive, or passive aggressive, people TOO !!  

Unless you are excluding yourself for some mystical reason , like , 'its not bad when Daemon does it.' 

and then ,, and then ,, to PROVE your conviction ,, wait , wait this is great ,, to PROVE your conviction , you put users on IGNORE !  so as not to deal with it  ahhahhahhaaa 

 

 

 

I'm not placing any value judgment whatsoever on aggression (either active or passive) or seeking to debate (to prove) anything. I'm merely discussing observable behaviour with another user (mainly observable ad hominem behaviour) and sharing both my opinion & the method that I usually employ to deal with it with it with that user (whose contributions I find generally both interesting and illuminating).

 

☮️

 

Edited June 21, 2018 by Daemon
to insert the &

[Stosh]

22 minutes ago, Daemon said:

 

I'm not placing any value judgment whatsoever on aggression (either active or passive) or seeking to debate (to prove) anything. I'm merely discussing observable behaviour with another user (mainly observable ad hominem behaviour) and sharing both my opinion the method that I usually employ to deal with it with it with that user (whose contributions I find generally both interesting and illuminating).

 

☮️

 

Dude, labeling people as passive aggressive , for labeling them as such , isn't a value judgement , that's correct , but you've done the same thing! You labeled. 

Your 'method' is exactly what I described ,, this is a forum, the point is conversation , interacting , learning etc, but you're ignoring participants using machine features , what , you can't control yourself ? they touch such sore spots you cant respond to correctly ? Its just letters on a screen , ( yes things can get highly insulting , reputations attacked and so forth , and then yes moderation is required. Like for Imsiz Biri  , or whatever the hell his name was, but that's an extreme. )

 

I, on the other hand ,  Did however  point out why , its problematic to do the passive aggressive thing , just as getting wrapped up in being overly aggressive- because the OP is biased the other way. 

Edited June 21, 2018 by Stosh

[Daemon]

1 hour ago, Stosh said:

Dude, labeling people as passive aggressive , for labeling them as such , isn't a value judgement , that's correct , but you've done the same thing! You labeled. 

Your 'method' is exactly what I described ,, this is a forum, the point is conversation , interacting , learning etc, but you're ignoring participants using machine features , what , you can't control yourself ? they touch such sore spots you cant respond to correctly ? Its just letters on a screen , ( yes things can get highly insulting , reputations attacked and so forth , and then yes moderation is required. Like for Imsiz Biri  , or whatever the hell his name was, but that's an extreme. )

 

I, on the other hand ,  Did however  point out why , its problematic to do the passive aggressive thing , just as getting wrapped up in being overly aggressive- because the OP is biased the other way. 

 

 

Your first factual inaccuracy (the foundation upon which you've attempted to present the remainder of your other misrepresentations and argumentative opinions as facts) is to state that I've labelled people as "passive aggressive". In fact, I haven't labelled anyone as passive aggressive, I evaluate certain observable behaviours (like ad hominems) as being active aggression. I evaluate other behaviours as being passive aggression (and I don't place a value judgement on making value judgements myself, as in some circumstances, I find it useful like labelling mountains as being mountains. I also use software features that enable me to avoid using my thumb to scroll past some user's contributions and thereby to use my time more effectively and efficiently). You're particularly mistaken in imagining that I take ad hominems personally. Why would I when I don't know any of you personally? You are all strangers (similar to characters in a book or a film) who may or may not not be delightful people in real life. I have no way of knowing (with certainty) without meeting you in person.

 

☮️

 

Edited June 21, 2018 by Daemon

[ilumairen]

17 hours ago, Stosh said:

I'm not suggesting anything yet, I'm trying to figure out if you make too much value of passivity ,

and miss out on the other side of the coin. To express yourself , to have ideas , to have impact ,

to be seen and be recognized. 

Difficult people tend to offer quite a lot , and those that are awol , do not. 

I admit,  I don't know how you are day to day, but I do want to stick up for those who ,,, aren't easy. 

 

 

You're right, you don't know, and while I've tried to openly share and dispel the misconceptions you vibrantly painted of interactions you were not witness to or a part of, the insistence remained. 

 

In the interaction of this thread I've been expressing myself and sharing my ideas, and you've attempted to devalue not only the shared ideas (which is completely acceptable) but the value others have found in shared interactions - in very colorful ways. 

 

[ilumairen]

1 hour ago, Stosh said:

I, on the other hand ,  Did however  point out why , its problematic to do the passive aggressive thing , just as getting wrapped up in being overly aggressive- because the OP is biased the other way. 

 

In your opinion. 

[Stosh]

1 hour ago, Daemon said:

 

Your first factual inaccuracy (the foundation upon which you've attempted to present the remainder of your other misrepresentations and argumentative opinions as facts) is to state that I've labelled people as "passive aggressive". In fact, I haven't labelled anyone as passive aggressive, I evaluate certain observable behaviours (like ad hominems) as being active aggression. I evaluate other behaviours as being passive aggression (and I don't place a value judgement on making value judgements myself, as in some circumstances, I find it useful like labelling mountains as being mountains. I also use software features that enable me to avoid using my thumb to scroll past some user's contributions and thereby to use my time more effectively and efficiently). You're particularly mistaken in imagining that I take ad hominems personally. Why would I when I don't know any of you personally? You are all strangers (similar to characters in a book or a film) who may or may not not be delightful people in real life. I have no way of knowing (with certainty) without meeting you in person.

 

☮️

 

 "I've noticed that this diagnosis is usually deployed on bulletin boards as an ad hominem by actively aggressive users (the remainder of the deployments are almost invariably the projection of the passively aggressive)."

There's your label , nothing inaccurate there. 

 

I'm not delightful all the time in real life. Do you spend your efforts trying to be delightful all day? 

[Stosh]

40 minutes ago, ilumairen said:

 

In your opinion. 

No that's fact , it's true regardless of my opinion. 

 but would you care to disclose why you would pose the question if not to deride aggression ? and does not the question present the derided folks , as a 'them' ? Meaning, you are not valueless , but they are? And do you not see the aggressive side to saying people not like you are valueless for no purpose other than to paint yourself as a perfect angel  ? 

Frankly speaking, you're not exactly a delight now. 

Edited June 21, 2018 by Stosh

[ilumairen]

15 minutes ago, Stosh said:

No that's fact , it's true regardless of my opinion. 

 but would you care to disclose why you would pose the question if not to deride aggression ? and does not the question present the derided folks , as a 'them' ? Meaning, you are not valueless , but they are? And do you not see the aggressive side to saying people not like you are valueless for no purpose other than to paint yourself as a perfect angel  ? 

 

Oh my stars!

 

The Original Post contained this, "It's unreasonable to expect everyone else in the world to be as reasonable (and calm) as yourself; some people just are pissed off at whatever, and want to vent and take it out on anyone, you may not have done anything wrong, but the important thing is can you defend yourself (verbally, emotionally, physically, in everyway)?"

 

These words don't read as overly passive to me.

 

And, once again, you're arguing your own constructs. I didn't say, nor do I believe that people are "valueless".

[ilumairen]

And Stosh, I posted about breaking somebody's finger, not exactly the picture of angelic. 

[Daemon]

48 minutes ago, Stosh said:

 "I've noticed that this diagnosis is usually deployed on bulletin boards as an ad hominem by actively aggressive users (the remainder of the deployments are almost invariably the projection of the passively aggressive)."

There's your label , nothing inaccurate there. 

 

I'm not delightful all the time in real life. Do you spend your efforts trying to be delightful all day? 

 

 

In my opinion you're attempting to reuse what I wrote in shorthand for someone else in the context of my assessment that she understands the subtleties (subsequently explained to you and which, in my opinion, you have either failed to grasp or decided to ignore).

 

☮️

 

Edited June 21, 2018 by Daemon

[Stosh]

2 minutes ago, ilumairen said:

 

Oh my stars!

 

The Original Post contained this, "It's unreasonable to expect everyone else in the world to be as reasonable (and calm) as yourself; some people just are pissed off at whatever, and want to vent and take it out on anyone, you may not have done anything wrong, but the important thing is can you defend yourself (verbally, emotionally, physically, in everyway)?"

 

These words don't read as overly passive to me.

 

And, once again, you're arguing your own constructs. I didn't say, nor do I believe that people are "valueless".

So is it Possible that -  I am the one more reasonable and calm , and that you are the one pissed off , wanting to vent . 

 

Aggressive, unpleasant and violent people; do we need more of them?

No not overly passive , but I did say you did use passive aggressive angle in the OP the title of which derides people you feel aren't like you. 

You still didn't explain why you should deride - speculate on the worthlessness of people you do not think you are like. Cat got your tongue? 

[Stosh]

1 minute ago, ilumairen said:

And Stosh, I posted about breaking somebody's finger, not exactly the picture of angelic. 

No , it isnt , but ,,,  why do you not want to be portrayed as a doormat? 

[Stosh]

Yeah , you laugh Daemon , but such a question usually stumps the questionee ...

which they usually then play off as rhetorical so they don't have to see how it undermines their stance. 

[ilumairen]

Stosh, 

 

I find the construct of people being doormats to be rather useless, and often times detrimental. 

 

And if there is value in this construct, I don't see it. 

[Stosh]

Just now, ilumairen said:

Stosh, 

 

I find the construct of people being doormats to be rather useless, and often times detrimental. 

 

And if there is value in this construct, I don't see it. 

but you know what the phrase means , right? 

[Daemon]

@Stosh

 

Do you not realise that you're metaphorically (and persistently) breaking your own fingers here?

 

☮️

 

[ilumairen]

4 minutes ago, Stosh said:

but you know what the phrase means , right? 

 

In this thread, I'm getting the idea of what it means to you. 

 

And I've seen you share the very derision you are trying to place on me regarding your perception of people that you label doormats. 

 

 

[Stosh]

7 minutes ago, Daemon said:

@Stosh

 

Do you not realise that you're metaphorically (and persistently) breaking your own fingers here?

 

☮️

 

No , do you see the dodging going on , just can't answer what a doormat is. 

Edited June 21, 2018 by Stosh

[ilumairen]

2 minutes ago, Stosh said:

No , do you see the dodging going on , just can't answer what a doormat is. 

 

A doormat is an inanimate object. And I find them useful. 

 

A person (any person) is dynamic.

 

And the phrase doormat, when applied to people is rather dismissive - whether a person is applying it to themselves or others. 

[Daemon]

13 minutes ago, Stosh said:

No , do you see the dodging going on , just can't answer what a doormat is. 

 

No. What I'm seeing is that you're being skillfully and systematically dismembered.

 

☮️

 

[Stosh]

1 minute ago, Daemon said:

 

No. What I'm seeing is that you're being skillfully and systematically dismembered.

 

☮️

 

Then you have a vigorous imagination.

[Stosh]

16 minutes ago, ilumairen said:

 

A doormat is an inanimate object. And I find them useful. 

 

A person (any person) is dynamic.

 

And the phrase doormat, when applied to people is rather dismissive - whether a person is applying it to themselves or others. 

Fine its dismissive when applied to a person , can you be more specific , lots of things are dismissive ,, but what is a doormat ( person) ?

Last chance , this is really taking too long ...............

Edited June 21, 2018 by Stosh

[Daemon]

34 minutes ago, Stosh said:

Yeah , you laugh Daemon , but such a question usually stumps the questionee ...

which they usually then play off as rhetorical so they don't have to see how it undermines their stance. 

 

 

You are trying to play your usual game against someone who appears to me to be extremely unusual.

You are being annihilated (merely in my opinion). If this was translated to real life, I'd not be laughing. 

 

☮️