A friend talking to me about "ending it"

[3bob]

there is no dharma in ending it in that way (suicide) which really makes it much more painful and longer to get back to bat as a human being or 1st base in evolution...of course one can not convince someone of that but they can attempt to convince another that that is how they see and handle it...also a good psychologist should be met face to face after contacting a crisis center for immediate help. 

[Rara]

On 21/06/2018 at 7:59 PM, cosmic4z said:

How did this pan out Rara?

 

I hope you found the wisdom and the right words, right approach to help your friend.

 

He's just been sending messages about the world cup. Seems to be distracted from the idea right now. I'm letting things stay as they are as all seems safe, but keeping a watchful eye.

[liminal_luke]

2 minutes ago, Rara said:

 

He's just been sending messages about the world cup. Seems to be distracted from the idea right now. I'm letting things stay as they are as all seems safe, but keeping a watchful eye.

 

To every man his own goalpost, I guess.  It`s hard for me to imagine a more potent suicidal-thought inducing hell than the World Cup.

[doc benway]

I enjoy the World Cup - the only pro sports event I pay any attention to.

 

[Marblehead]

15 minutes ago, steve said:

I enjoy the World Cup - the only pro sports event I pay any attention to.

 

No female mud wrestling?

 

[liminal_luke]

4 minutes ago, steve said:

I enjoy the World Cup - the only pro sports event I pay any attention to.

 

 

A few mornings ago I was sitting in a cafe here in Ensenada, Baja California trying to journal while a game played on the television.  Was Mexico playing recently?  Did they win?  I assume so given the clapping and general carrying-on of the assembled crowd -- GOOOAAAALLLLLLL!!!! 

 

There`s something beautiful about it, I gotta admit.  I remember the general hoopla a few years back in Zacatecas when Mexico won a match, cars cruising up and down honking wildly as if the whole town was getting hitched in a mass wedding, as if Mexico had just catapulted to leader of the free world status and her soldiers were marching through the the streets in triumph.  Whenever Mexico scores, thousands of enthused fans all over the country whoop and holler. Even in the United States, in every sizable town, there`s likely a bar filled with proud Latinos living vicariously through their team.    

[thelerner]

There is something magical about sports.  Such a powerful connector.  got its dark side too, but somehow, their greatness is our greatness; we share in it, bask in it.  Our team, We Win, GOOAAAALLlll!

 

If only wars

could be fought

on the soccer field,

wouldn't that be nice**. 

 

** maybe not soccer war circa 1969- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Football_War

Edited June 24, 2018 by thelerner

[doc benway]

2 hours ago, liminal_luke said:

 

A few mornings ago I was sitting in a cafe here in Ensenada, Baja California trying to journal while a game played on the television.  Was Mexico playing recently?  Did they win?  I assume so given the clapping and general carrying-on of the assembled crowd -- GOOOAAAALLLLLLL!!!! 

 

There`s something beautiful about it, I gotta admit.  I remember the general hoopla a few years back in Zacatecas when Mexico won a match, cars cruising up and down honking wildly as if the whole town was getting hitched in a mass wedding, as if Mexico had just catapulted to leader of the free world status and her soldiers were marching through the the streets in triumph.  Whenever Mexico scores, thousands of enthused fans all over the country whoop and holler. Even in the United States, in every sizable town, there`s likely a bar filled with proud Latinos living vicariously through their team.    

 

Futbol is very important to many Mexicans, including my sister-in-law!

Due to the family connection, I've become a fan.

They have a great team and have a pretty good chance of winning the cup.

Mexico has beaten Germany (2014 winner) and South Korea so far.

They play Sweden next week.

 

[doc benway]

3 hours ago, Marblehead said:

No female mud wrestling?

 

 

Can't seem to find it on ESPN.

[cosmic4z]

10 hours ago, Marblehead said:

No female mud wrestling?

 

 

Have been watching the England games, plenty of wrestling going on there!

[cosmic4z]

11 hours ago, Rara said:

 

He's just been sending messages about the world cup. Seems to be distracted from the idea right now. I'm letting things stay as they are as all seems safe, but keeping a watchful eye.

 

Recently heard an old friend of mine had done the deed. Hadn't seen him in years, but you just think, if only I had kept in touch and been more supportive. Only, you can't go back in time...

 

Not to say any of that reflects on what you should or shouldn't do Rara. I hope you can muster the wisdom to find the best appropriate course of action though. Good luck.

[Rara]

On 24/06/2018 at 11:22 PM, Marblehead said:

No female mud wrestling?

 

 

It's been a while. I should indulge.

[Rara]

13 hours ago, cosmic4z said:

 

Recently heard an old friend of mine had done the deed. Hadn't seen him in years, but you just think, if only I had kept in touch and been more supportive. Only, you can't go back in time...

 

Not to say any of that reflects on what you should or shouldn't do Rara. I hope you can muster the wisdom to find the best appropriate course of action though. Good luck.

 

Sorry to hear. Thanks for all your support.

[dawei]

Rara... tough situation... imagine if this was a family member, what would you do?

 

I think if it was me, Just me,  I'd do some tough love and say, "this talk is bothering me and I'd like to help you get some help... but if you are just venting and don't really want intervention then I'll not press you... but I'd rather you talk to someone else about what bothers you".

 

Here is where I stand on such issues... if I call 911, which I don't ask anyone not to do,  then I may start a chain of events that would affect their life negatively and they would say , "I'm just blowing steam... and you caused me to lose my job".      

 

I get the retort will be, "so you will cause him to lose his life?".     

 

That is not my responsibility to decide life and death.  I'm just saying,  offer help but make it clear you are not the one to dump on.

 

Rara, you are a good guy and respectful beyond measure.   I hope you find a way to deal with this issue that helps you.  

[Wells]

On 19.6.2018 at 2:14 AM, Kar3n said:

Call 911 or whatever the emergency number is for your country and give them his address.

 

He will get help whether he wants it or not.

 

Wow.

That's an alarming attitude.

 

Edited June 26, 2018 by Wells

[thelerner]

It's an extreme measure, but so is calling someone a couple times threatening suicide.  You give them attention, they may feel better but you become a nervous wreck, and the cycle continues.   It can feel like emotional blackmail, as if they're holding a gun to your head.   It may be a way to call there bluff and/or lead them to get serious help.  

 

Maybe not the best tool, but its one that at a certain point should be considered. 

 

 

[Rara]

On 26/06/2018 at 9:04 PM, dawei said:

Rara... tough situation... imagine if this was a family member, what would you do?

 

I think if it was me, Just me,  I'd do some tough love and say, "this talk is bothering me and I'd like to help you get some help... but if you are just venting and don't really want intervention then I'll not press you... but I'd rather you talk to someone else about what bothers you".

 

Here is where I stand on such issues... if I call 911, which I don't ask anyone not to do,  then I may start a chain of events that would affect their life negatively and they would say , "I'm just blowing steam... and you caused me to lose my job".      

 

I get the retort will be, "so you will cause him to lose his life?".     

 

That is not my responsibility to decide life and death.  I'm just saying,  offer help but make it clear you are not the one to dump on.

 

Rara, you are a good guy and respectful beyond measure.   I hope you find a way to deal with this issue that helps you.  

 

Thanks dude.

 

An update on this...I got the usual message of how the new job was a problem and that his anger kept arising etc etc.

 

So I put it straight to him in a 5 minute whatsapp voice message. I said similar things about how I'm noticing a cycle, and I also mentioned how it was all starting to affect me.

 

I then turned my tone and suggestions into more of a "motivational speaker" style, and offered ways on how to convert the energy into a drive to succeed in the job and start playing to win.

 

I compared life and passion to that of a successful football (soccer) manager and that seemed to work. He felt more upbeat and interested in embracing the challenges.

 

Let's see where this goes.

Edited July 5, 2018 by Rara

[Marblehead]

Yeah, it's 95% up to your friend as to how they want to live their life.