The student, the arbiter, the watcher

[Nebulae Bred]

Instead of cluttering the Welcome area with a longer post, I decided to continue my introduction to you all, here. 

I'm 23, from the West Coast of Canada, and the last few years of my life have been a journey of self discovery. I struggled with terrible depression for over a decade. I've struggled on the borderline of homelessness, I've struggled with my inner demons. 

Eventually I learned that instead of fighting with myself, it would be much more within my interests to embrace myself, and to heal instead of scar myself further.

 

Isn't it strange how the inversions of social intuition and norms seem to be the most profound modes of thought and action? Although, it may be said that modern society itself is an inversion of  the intuitive, but I digress. 

 

My journey has been a process of years, now, for the most part I went through that journey with an atheistic and nihilistic mindset. I had been exposed to religious ideas as a child but I abandoned them in my early teens. My reawakening to the spirituality of the world came to me with the assistance of marijuana, although it's been brought to my attention that drug-induced enlightenment states are an unhealthy method of spiritual advancement in the mid-to-long-term. Around the same time I started digesting this idea, I came across a small community dedicated to cultivating chi. 

 

I've been familiar with the concept for a while. Not with the aspects of cultivation in real life, but through the fictionalized portrayal in media and fiction. China has a flourishing Webnovel industry dedicated to stories of cultivators on the path to immortality and godhood. They were always a means of escapism for me. But that was all purely the realm of fantasy. 

 

As a consequence, however, I began to see reality as something dull. It lacked the beauty of the infinite. All i could see was the illusion of society over the illusion of reality. I've made some progress with stripping those illusions away, but it comes and goes. But, again, I digress. From this perspective, perhaps it's understandable and forgivable that I had (and still do, do a degree) viewed the daoist sciences of energy cultivation with skepticism. Over time that skepticism has waned, but I'm not sure that it's something I could ever do without, or if it's something that I would ever want to distance myself from in the first place. 

 

Learning about Magick and other esoteric methods may be hindered by this, but that's something I may have to figure out on my own. I would value any insight regarding skepticism and the Journey. 

 

Anyhow, now I find myself here as a junior dao bum, with a world of information in front of me, and a million paths forward, but no sense of direction. The title of this post is made up of a few of the many directions I might take. I've had the intuition that my path (my ultimate path, through this life and many before and after) may be something unique, in the sense that I will be pushing through frontiers on my own. But this is something for much later in my journey.

 

For now I wish to build a firm foundation for whatever may come. Any words of advice from you all would more than welcome  Although I'm a novice, I hope that I may likewise provide valuable insight for you in the future. 

 

One question that I have is regarding a teacher. How would I go about finding a teacher? Regarding my path with cultivation, I'm filled with a lot of confusion and there is so much that I don't understand.

 

 

 

Edited June 23, 2018 by Nebulae Bred

[Limahong]

1 hour ago, Nebulae Bred said:

I decided to continue my introduction to you all, here.

 

Hi Nebulae Bred,

 

For a 23 year old you write with good maturity - perhaps from your life experiences thus far. You have come across as a fighter.

 

You have indicated - 

1 hour ago, Nebulae Bred said:

Regarding my path with cultivation, I'm filled with a lot of confusion and there is so much that I don't understand.

 

I am still confused myself - but less so than at the beginning.

 

Thank you for your PM. If I can help you in any way - I will.

 

- LimA

[Lost in Translation]

4 hours ago, Nebulae Bred said:

it's understandable and forgivable that I had (and still do, do a degree) viewed the daoist sciences of energy cultivation with skepticism.

 

That is quite natural. You will meet a great variety of practitioners here. Some go very deep into the energy arts, others go deep intellectually and emotionally. I am sure you will discover your areas of interest very quickly.

 

4 hours ago, Nebulae Bred said:

Learning about Magick and other esoteric methods may be hindered by this

 

By Magic do you mean energy work, such as Chi Kung, or do you mean things like scrying, I Ching, or Tarot? Again, there is a lot out there. My wife swears by Astrology. She produces the most detailed charts that I have ever seen and spends hours pouring over them. At first I was skeptic, but she knows things so I trust her now. 

 

4 hours ago, Nebulae Bred said:

One question that I have is regarding a teacher. How would I go about finding a teacher? Regarding my path with cultivation, I'm filled with a lot of confusion and there is so much that I don't understand.

 

Oh, boy. It's said that when the student is ready the teacher will come. For all you know you may have already found your teacher. They don't always advertise themselves. Take a good look at the people who are already close to you. You may have missed something that will be obvious in hindsight.

 

Good luck!

[Nebulae Bred]

5 hours ago, Limahong said:

 

Hi Nebulae Bred,

 

For a 23 year old you write with good maturity - perhaps from your life experiences thus far. You have come across as a fighter.

 

...

 

I am still confused myself - but less so than at the beginning.

 

 

Thanks writing is a hobby of mine. I find it much easier to communicate my thoughts through writing.

 

2 hours ago, Lost in Translation said:

 

That is quite natural. You will meet a great variety of practitioners here. Some go very deep into the energy arts, others go deep intellectually and emotionally. I am sure you will discover your areas of interest very quickly.

 

 

By Magic do you mean energy work, such as Chi Kung, or do you mean things like scrying, I Ching, or Tarot? Again, there is a lot out there. My wife swears by Astrology. She produces the most detailed charts that I have ever seen and spends hours pouring over them. At first I was skeptic, but she knows things so I trust her now. 

 

By magic i mean Manifesting/creation. Energy work, and the abilities that come from it, seem to be a side effect from the higher levels of advancement, from what ive read around here. 

 

My ultimate goal is longevity and control over my death and rebirth. I have a feeling that immortality isnt going to be my ultimate focus. I have greater ambitions and i think my highest self has been at this game for a very, very long time. Id like to take all the credit for my own experience and insights but i feel like many if my answers were pre-chewed and fed to me by someone/something else. This has a lot to do with my confusion regarding my path forward.

 

Edited June 23, 2018 by Nebulae Bred

[Lost in Translation]

35 minutes ago, Nebulae Bred said:

My ultimate goal is longevity and control over my death and rebirth.

 

Then you have found the right place! There are people here (not many, but some) who will be happy to point you in a certain direction if that is what you seek. I suggest searching the Daoist sub-section. Some threads are old, so brew some fresh coffee and settle in for a long night!

[Starjumper]

12 hours ago, Nebulae Bred said:

I've been familiar with the concept for a while. Not with the aspects of cultivation in real life, but through the fictionalized portrayal in media and fiction. China has a flourishing Webnovel industry dedicated to stories of cultivators on the path to immortality and godhood. They were always a means of escapism for me. But that was all purely the realm of fantasy. 

 

Learning about Magick and other esoteric methods may be hindered by this, but that's something I may have to figure out on my own. I would value any insight regarding skepticism and the Journey. 

 

Anyhow, now I find myself here as a junior dao bum, with a world of information in front of me, and a million paths forward, but no sense of direction. The title of this post is made up of a few of the many directions I might take. I've had the intuition that my path (my ultimate path, through this life and many before and after) may be something unique, in the sense that I will be pushing through frontiers on my own. But this is something for much later in my journey.

 

For now I wish to build a firm foundation for whatever may come. Any words of advice from you all would more than welcome  Although I'm a novice, I hope that I may likewise provide valuable insight for you in the future. 

 

I see some good things here, and a lot of parallels with my own path.  When I was younger I used to be enchanted by books written about advanced masters of the Far East and their magical abilities and dreamed of going to the Himalayas and finding one of them.

 

Later I got too involved in the rat race and kind of forgot about such things, however I did have a few random magical experiences along the way.   I guess it was my destiny due to past life stuff, as you mentioned for yourself, but around the age of forty I became interested in chi energy and decided to look into it.  I was very lucky to find an advanced tai chi teacher who was a real master and a humble one, and he/we were in a lineage that truly wanted to share all they could which is a rarity in the Chinese internal arts.

 

I took to tai chi like a fish to water, I loved it, practiced a lot, and did well.  As a result of this my tai chi teacher gave me to my chi kung teacher.  I slowly realized that this man was one of the rare masters with mythical abilities and that he was a true Taoist wizard with immense power and knowing.  I didn't have to got the Himalayas to look for one, because some of these guys escaped from China during the communist cleansing and came to the West.  Most of the masters who went to the West are mainly interested in money but this guy was a humble cook in a Chinese restaurant until he retired.  He didn't teach for money, and in fact he wasn't going to teach his stuff at all, but then he met me, and his wife talked him into teaching.  I was with him for eight years, and he asked me to teach.  I'm the only one of my kung fu brothers who is attempting to teach this system the way he taught me.  I've found that only those who are very mature can appreciate this system and I'm sure it's the same for other similar systems.  The thing is, it is extremely difficult to find the real thing, and all authentic schools of Taoism WILL lead you to experience magic.  Most schools are either not authentic or they won't take you far.

 

Most people under forty are not mature enough to stick with a high power system, and most of the people who really like it are over sixty.  I started when I was forty and it wasn't easy but I had stick with it with stiff upper lip.  The thing is that most people over forty aren't healthy enough to cultivate high chi power and go far.  If some young person in good health was to seriously practice this they could develop amazing power and special abilities.  However the lure of special abilities is a bad reason to learn such things because they are a trap and will limit development.  If some child was to seriously practice a system like this they could become so powerful they would be like a god.

 

So what does this mean for you?  You speak of preparing yourself.  The best way to prepare yourself is to do no mind mediations that include energy work like holding the ball.  It is also good to build your vitality and health so that when you start with a real system, when you are mature enough, you will be in excellent condition with already good energy so that you can go far quickly.  The best way to build a good foundation is to learn some of the more complex tai chi, like Chen tai chi, or Bagua as both a martial art and a chi kung.  You need to be willing to find a study with a real live teacher because those people who focus on learning from videos or from books will never get there. Practicing from a video can never come close to practicing in person with a master.   Practicing in the same room with a wizard conveys certain benefits that are impossible to get in any other way.  Do not do the kind of energy work where you sit and visualize energy moving or you will destroy your potential to become a wizard.

 

Most of all, cultivate ruthless self honesty, don't make excuses for your dark side.  Look at it deeply, admit it, and embrace it.  This is how you can grow.

 

Then when you are ready and you think you are mature enough  you can come and see me, if I'm still alive, and plan on spending many years living as a hermit on a mountain.  Because the chances of finding someone else who has a combination of a pure and powerful Taoist system with a 4000 year lineage, who is humble, and who really wants to share without charging a lot, is vanishinlgy small.

 

 

[Nebulae Bred]

58 minutes ago, Starjumper said:

Most people under forty are not mature enough to stick with a high power system, and most of the people who really like it are over sixty.  I started when I was forty and it wasn't easy but I had stick with it with stiff upper lip.  The thing is that most people over forty aren't healthy enough to cultivate high chi power and go far.  If some young person in good health was to seriously practice this they could develop amazing power and special abilities.  However the lure of special abilities is a bad reason to learn such things because they are a trap and will limit development.  If some child was to seriously practice a system like this they could become so powerful they would be like a god.

 

So what does this mean for you?  You speak of preparing yourself.  The best way to prepare yourself is to do no mind mediations that include energy work like holding the ball.  It is also good to build your vitality and health so that when you start with a real system, when you are mature enough, you will be in excellent condition with already good energy so that you can go far quickly.  The best way to build a good foundation is to learn some of the more complex tai chi, like Chen tai chi, or Bagua as both a martial art and a chi kung.  You need to be willing to find a study with a real live teacher because those people who focus on learning from videos or from books will never get there. Practicing from a video can never come close to practicing in person with a master.   Practicing in the same room with a wizard conveys certain benefits that are impossible to get in any other way.  Do not do the kind of energy work where you sit and visualize energy moving or you will destroy your potential to become a wizard.

 

Most of all, cultivate ruthless self honesty, don't make excuses for your dark side.  Look at it deeply, admit it, and embrace it.  This is how you can grow.

 

Then when you are ready and you think you are mature enough  you can come and see me, if I'm still alive, and plan on spending many years living as a hermit on a mountain.  Because the chances of finding someone else who has a combination of a pure and powerful Taoist system with a 4000 year lineage, who is humble, and who really wants to share without charging a lot, is vanishinlgy small.

 

>  Do not do the kind of energy work where you sit and visualize energy moving

This has been a subtle intuition of mine, like a soft voice at the back of my head. Recently i've set the goal to focus on stillness and mindfulness meditations. Those are the only kinds of meditation i know how to do aside from the energy-moving stuff. 

 

> Chen tai chi, bagua...

Would you recommend something like yoga, as well? It seems like something that's been pulling at my periphery of my attention for a while. Thanks for the recommendations.

 

>cultivate ruthless self honesty, don't make excuses for your dark side.  

This has been a process for me. After listening to Jordan Peterson's lectures, I learned about the Jungian notion of working with the Shadow. I've been embracing the fractured pieces of myself. Cultivating self honesty has been a passion of mine and I'm content with how far i've managed to come in the last couple of years. 

 

> when mature enough come find me

Thank you for that kind offer. I've a long road ahead of me before i get to that level of maturity, I think. I'm still a child, after all, and I still have fun with my childish things

 

 

Edited June 24, 2018 by Nebulae Bred

[Nebulae Bred]

6 hours ago, Lost in Translation said:

 

Then you have found the right place! There are people here (not many, but some) who will be happy to point you in a certain direction if that is what you seek. I suggest searching the Daoist sub-section. Some threads are old, so brew some fresh coffee and settle in for a long night!

 

Coffee is my favorite word. Daoist subforum, here i come. 

[Starjumper]

10 hours ago, Nebulae Bred said:

This has been a subtle intuition of mine, like a soft voice at the back of my head. Recently i've set the goal to focus on stillness and mindfulness meditations. Those are the only kinds of meditation i know how to do aside from the energy-moving stuff. 

 

Energy moving stuff is a bad idea, if it doesn't perceptibly damage you at least it will ruin your chances to cultivate well.  Check out some videos of Zhan Zhuang on Utube, this is one type of meditation and chi kung that can be learned fairly well from videos.  then you will know many types of meditation which I referred to as "holding the ball type meditations"  You can use these same arm and hand positions while sitting too but it won't cultivate energy so fast.

 

10 hours ago, Nebulae Bred said:

> Chen tai chi, bagua...

Would you recommend something like yoga, as well? It seems like something that's been pulling at my periphery of my attention for a while. Thanks for the recommendations.

 

No I would not recommend yoga as an aid in preparation for what you want.  It's a big subject so why not ask about the difference between Hindu yoga and tai chi/chi kung in the Taoist section.  Watch out for anything that Void says about Taoist Yoga though.

 

10 hours ago, Nebulae Bred said:

 

>cultivate ruthless self honesty, don't make excuses for your dark side.  

This has been a process for me. After listening to Jordan Peterson's lectures, I learned about the Jungian notion of working with the Shadow. I've been embracing the fractured pieces of myself. Cultivating self honesty has been a passion of mine and I'm content with how far i've managed to come in the last couple of years.

 

That's good and an important part of becoming a complete person.

 

10 hours ago, Nebulae Bred said:

> when mature enough come find me

Thank you for that kind offer. I've a long road ahead of me before i get to that level of maturity, I think. I'm still a child, after all, and I still have fun with my childish things

 

I was referring to emotional maturity rather than physical maturity.  Some five year olds are a lot more emotionally mature than many thirty year olds, considering what the school system does to them.  Sages are emotionally mature and yet it is said they act childlike.

[Limahong]

54 minutes ago, Starjumper said:

I was referring to emotional maturity rather than physical maturity.

 

Hi Steve,

 

"Sages are emotionally mature and yet it is said they act childlike."

 

 

 

 

- Anand

Edited June 24, 2018 by Limahong
Enhance ...

[rideforever]

Personally I work on multiple levels at once. 

Qigong for energy cleaning and cultivation,
outer dissolving for clearing trauma,
* meditation with a serious teacher for enlightenment of consciousness (the most important)
and various psychological works for healing the psyche,
learning to eat well and cook,
a course in miracles for seeing people are innocent,
general workouts for strength.

This is the fastest way to work on mulitple levels, however I have a lot of time.  Each practice has been honed to a high level, I picked up the 7 strands one by one and have continuously improved each one.
One learns to love to work.
When I enter the world and get caught in its darkness, I know what to do, the only thing you can do ... and that is work more.
It took deaths in my family before I really committed, many disasters had to happen before I gave deeper commitment, but try to learn your lessons well or you will have to retake the class and that hurts.
And yes, total salvation is possible and very real.

Choosing a teacher ?
Try something that interests you, and do exactly what they say.  If nothing happens confront the teacher and if they have no answer then leave.  If you gain from it continue.
For every good teacher there are 10 ok teachers and 1000 nonentity teachers.  This is the way of this world.
But one starts to smell the good teachers.

What is confusing :
- if you ask a teacher a question he may fob you off with ... "yes just practice for 10 years and don't be impatient" - this is bullshit you should feel the meaning of any practice immediately or near immediately.
- force : many teachers / schools use force, like concentration practice or asceticism.   This works ... but only in a small way.  It is like you have a teaspoon and you try to dig a tunnel out of prison - does it work ?  Well yes, but not really.   Force is for fools.   Understanding and sensitivity lead to much higher tools, not really tools but cultivation through inner intelligence.   Force is interesting to experiment with but it is not the way out.
- any teacher than has thousands of students is a teacher of a low level, the highest teachers have few students
- it is up to you to learn ... whatever you can from whoever you can ... all is up to you, if you choose the light will fill you
- beware of fake smiles, fake feelings, and so on.  Always seek grounded people.
- hating the human - body-mind - ego ... is the wrong way, God did make us for a reason
- experience much, but make a choice
- digging one deep well is better than a thousand shallow ones
- I Am, I Can, I Am, I Can ... Buddha touched the ground and knew he was made for a reason, and when the Sun rises it rises for you.
- I love he who loves the work