Equanimity in times of Suffering

[Lost in Translation]

My cat is dying. A blood clot came loose and lodged in his right foreleg. He's lame in that leg and in pain. The vet suggested I put him down. The other option was to put him in hospital while the doctors attempted to treat him, with the understanding the the underlying problem would remain and further clots were likely. I was crushed. I had thought it was a simple sprain. Yes, he's an old cat, but a blood clot? I told the doctor to give him pain killers and I took him home to rest. The drugs ease his visible pain. He spends most of his time sleeping.

 

This is only a temporary measure. He's dying. There is no denying that. The only question is will I have the strength to give the order to put him down when his pain grows too great, or will he mercifully pass on his own before I am forced to choose?

 

Equanimity. It's easy to talk about, then someone you love is stricken and the forces of heaven call your bluff. It's not easy.

[Marblehead]

I had to put my last one down.  Cancer.  He was experiencing too much pain.

 

It's a hard decision.  Do what's best for the cat.

 

[Lost in Translation]

1 minute ago, Marblehead said:

It's a hard decision.  Do what's best for the cat.

 

Always. He's sleeping and he's not crying out. That could change at a moment's notice. It's a damnable choice to make.

[wandelaar]

It's only natural that you feel sad, equanimity can and will be restored later.

[Lost in Translation]

Thankfully my cat is doing much better! He's transitioned from being an outdoor cat to an indoor cat. I need to teach him about litter boxes. I hope he's a fast learner 'cause carrying him to the yard to "do his business" can't continue forever. 

 

We took him to the vet for a follow up. The vet listened to his heart and confirmed he has a murmur. She examined his paw and he showed no signs of pain. The color is returning to the limb which means the blood flow is normalizing. Apparently this happens when other arteries take up the slack (like how side streets get busy when the freeway is full). He walked for her and hardly limped, and even jumped up the 3 1/2 feet from the floor to the examining table and made it look easy! We're taking him to a mobile cardiologist for x-rays and a detailed exam - all out patient with no need for sedation.

 

This is such a blessing. He may actually live for many months to come. I truly hope so.

Edited June 30, 2018 by Lost in Translation

[Fa Xin]

Very happy to hear about your cat. 

 

May he live many more days of playing and meowing. 😊

Edited June 30, 2018 by Fa Xin

[Lost in Translation]

Cat hasn't limped or shown any signs of pain in three days. He spends all his waking time trying to drive me crazy. I guess that's a very good sign, so I let him out today. He's sleeping on a plastic bin in the neighbor's yard. Looks like this crisis has passed. Until the next one...

[Lost in Translation]

Three weeks later and the stupid cat acts like nothing ever happened! He has no clue how close he came to death. Now he's just sitting around, drinking cream, eating Chopped Grill (his fav!) and licking himself under a shade tree in the back yard.

 

How does he do it?

 

My wife said she saw an angel standing over him the night of his illness, right after we took him home. The angel was about eight feet tall and looked like a wicker & burlap Christmas tree ornament, complete with the little round wings. Whatever angel that was, God bless you for looking out for that lovingly annoying animal.

[Lost in Translation]

Three days ago I fed the cat his dinner with cream. I picked him up, petted him, groomed his face, and placed him gently on the ground. He looked fine, all things considered, and wanted out so I opened the door and watched him step onto the porch.

 

I haven't seen him since. Neither have my neighbors. I fear the end has come. I try to hold out hope but it's difficult. The last three weeks have been borrowed time. I have enjoyed every single moment. Please let the cat be OK, and if his life is over I pray the end was quick.

[Marblehead]

My inner essence is with you.

 

[shortstuff]

He is not a cat. He is a piece of everything inside a cats body. Like you are a piece of everything inside your own body.

 

Knowing this is how you hold Equanimity in times of hardship.

 

Of course you have to truly understand this - by experiencing it. But being here you are well on the way to that.

 

 

[Lost in Translation]

It has been five days and no one has seen him. I went to the local SPCA and animal control center. Nothing. At his age and health it is possible he's alive, but it would be a miracle. I don't think he is. The hardest part is not knowing, but that's a cat for you - very private creatures.

 

Cat's final lesson to me: You can't heal suffering without first experiencing suffering.

 

I love you, cat. Good bye.

 

 

[wandelaar]

Perhaps he wanted to end his life with just one more final adventure...?

[Marblehead]

There will always be another cat that needs some tender loving care.

 

If cats really do have nine lives you might get the same one back in a different body.

 

You know, kinda' like the Buddhists' reincarnation.

 

[rideforever]

Cat was wise, and I shall do the same one day.

[Lost in Translation]

Cat.

 

[Mig]

On 6/27/2018 at 12:44 PM, Marblehead said:

I had to put my last one down.  Cancer.  He was experiencing too much pain.

 

It's a hard decision.  Do what's best for the cat.

 

 

How do we know is best for the cat? How do know the cat will say enough is enough, get me out of here?

[wandelaar]

2 minutes ago, Mig said:

How do we know is best for the cat? How do know the cat will say enough is enough, get me out of here?

 

The fishes under the bridge...

[Mig]

14 hours ago, Lost in Translation said:

It has been five days and no one has seen him. I went to the local SPCA and animal control center. Nothing. At his age and health it is possible he's alive, but it would be a miracle. I don't think he is. The hardest part is not knowing, but that's a cat for you - very private creatures.

 

Cat's final lesson to me: You can't heal suffering without first experiencing suffering.

 

I love you, cat. Good bye.

 

 

 

I hear you my friend, there is nothing you can do, you did the best you could and that's something the cat was appreciative. Keep checking around and if there is nothing then remember the cat and hold those precious memories.

[Marblehead]

46 minutes ago, Mig said:

 

How do we know is best for the cat? How do know the cat will say enough is enough, get me out of here?

If we have lived with a cat for twelve - fifteen years we would know what the cat wants.  The one I had to put down didn't want to wander off into nowhereness.