Not my place.

[rene]

It is absolutely not my place to make this statement; therefore I choose to anyway, out of affection for TDB.

 

There was a recent post that a member is "under review for making disparaging, insulting and belittling comments to members and staff in multiple topics..." 

 

Of course I couldn't know what may have been said to staff or members in PM - but I read all of the member's posts, starting back in April, in multiple topics. In some posts he was disparaging, insulting and belittling, yes; but no more so than what others were to him, and actually the others began down that insulting path first - as his opinions are very contrary to theirs.

 

I have no knowledge of the subject matter at hand (either side of it, nor do I care to ever read in those threads again) and that's totally beside my point and concern.

 

Please take care in deciding who's opinions are welcome here and who's are not.

If there are clear violations of the TOS, do what you must, swiftly and without hesitation.

But when a call may be more subjective - to protect this or that (idea or member) - kindly pause to consider if what you feel needs protection in the first place - actually does.

 

 

Ruling the country is like cooking a small fish...

 

No reply necessary; but any are welcome.

That's all, thanks for reading. (-:

 

 

 

 

 

[Seatle185]

I think, had anyone taken the time to actually reach out and try to get to know him, you would see that he is actually a very open and friendly person with a lot of very interesting experiences with different teachers to share. I have found our talks to be very valuable personally.  i see how the moderators would consider banning, but i do agree, other people have treated him wrongly too, and possibly provoked him on purpose. 

[rene]

2 minutes ago, Seatle185 said:

I think, had anyone taken the time to actually reach out and try to get to know him, you would see that he is actually a very open and friendly person with a lot of very interesting experiences with different teachers to share. I have found our talks to be very valuable personally.  i see how the moderators would consider banning, but i do agree, other people have treated him wrongly too, and possibly provoked him on purpose. 

 

Thanks for your reply, Seatle; I didn't think that a ban was being considered, just a review.

 

Being a Mod isn't easy and choices are hard sometimes. Even though I used it for an example, my gentle nudge wasn't about this case specifically (nor is this thread) - but rather so that TDB hopefully keeps being as close to it's own source - as possible.

[Earl Grey]

I actually never had a problem with him, I just found it odd that in our first interaction on the Flying Phoenix thread that he thought I was insulting him and I gave him an honest confused response because that wasn't even what I was saying, nor was I referring to him or talking to him. In recent times, I only highlighted what I saw was serious disrespect to Sifu Terry, and in turn he began calling me arrogant and insulting me among other things. As it escalated, I stated my piece because he had crossed a line for the manner of disrespect he showed Sifu Terry, and I left it at that and he has retreated into his own other thread where he unfortunately made some statements that were very much in violation of some forum rules that I will not say here, but one with careful reading can find two four-letter words directed at another member. 

 

I don't doubt he's a pleasant individual outside this forum, because long before our interaction on the FP thread he messaged me privately about Fragrant Qigong. But my first interaction with him on the Flying Phoenix thread was making accusations and putting words in my mouth instead of taking my word for it that I wasn't even interacting with him or referring to him in a post he took offense to, which later on led to him accusing me of insulting him and I in turn responded in kind because insulting me directly by calling me names isn't something I am particularly fond of in most circumstances.

[Marblehead]

Throwing stones is never good if we all live in glass houses.

 

 

[rene]

7 hours ago, Earl Grey said:

I actually never had a problem with him, I just found it odd that in our first interaction .....

 

No one's position or stance, Members or Mods, needed justifying or defending here, in this thread.

Nor did the specific subject matter need to be revealed - it was intentionally kept out; surely you noticed that.

Did you feel attacked in this thread? <-That's a rhetorical question, already answered by your post.

 

We each have our own preferences and way; and it seems I'm no less inclined to promote the ideas of Laozi than you are of your systems and beliefs. The difference between us might be that your path seems to require much energy and effort; mine just floats in the Tao.

 

Best regards

 

 

 

[Earl Grey]

Nope didn’t feel attacked. I just thought there was no need to conceal it when the topic was right there in the recent thread.

 

I also have no idea where you base your conclusions about me or my path, but knock yourself out, lady. I’m sure comparing my flow in the Tao against yours ranks up there with the usual list of fruitful endeavors such as clipping your toenails in public and saying that your cuticles are prettier than everyone else because you’re letting us see something we would never have questioned until you made it public knowledge and still failed to enrich our lives with those facts about you.

 

Have a nice Sunday.

Edited July 15, 2018 by Earl Grey

[rene]

24 minutes ago, Earl Grey said:

Nope didn’t feel attacked. I just thought there was no need to conceal it when the topic was right there in the recent thread.

 

I also have no idea where you base your conclusions about me or my path, but knock yourself out, lady. I’m sure comparing my flow in the Tao against yours ranks up there with the usual list of fruitful endeavors such as clipping your toenails in public and saying that your cuticles are prettier than everyone else because you’re letting us see something we would never have questioned until you made it public knowledge and still failed to enrich our lives with those facts about you.

 

Have a nice Sunday.

 

Knock yourself out, lady?? Wow.

 

There was nothing disparaging in my post to you; we each have our own way. Does your path not require much energy and effort? Did I suggest there was something wrong with that?? LOL We each have our own way;  you sure seem to have contempt for other's ways - and I leave you gently to it.

 

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have toenails to clip.

[Earl Grey]

I sure don’t know where you make your conclusions, but I was once told by a lad by way of Louisville that they had a way to explain what made people who were so sure about what they’re saying: they were having their first beer and making their first bet at the Kentucky Derby.

 

Disparaging remarks? Contempt? You’re certainly having fun thinking about me and thinking about what I think about you (and pretty inaccurate) and the following image describes what I think about you:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited July 15, 2018 by Earl Grey

[rene]

Yay!

Maybe now you can let go of needing to defend your position!

And this thread can get back to its original purpose. (-:

 

[Earl Grey]

 

[Marblehead]

There is no purpose.  We all just do the best we can.

 

[rene]

1 hour ago, Marblehead said:

There is no purpose.  We all just do the best we can.

 

 

That we do!

Did your post have no purpose?

This post of mine does - to thank you for making your purposeless post.

Edited July 15, 2018 by rene

[Marblehead]

I'll be sure to let you know when I find a purpose in anything I do here.

 

[dawei]

I think he should be thankful as a notice is lower than a warning is lower than a suspension.  Gives a clear chance to stay in play and not go out of bounds.

[Nungali]

1 hour ago, Marblehead said:

I'll be sure to let you know when I find a purpose in anything I do here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[rene]

15 hours ago, Nungali said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now there's a porpoise with a purpose!!

 

edit: Except that's a whale, i think...lol

Edited July 16, 2018 by rene
dont know my aquatic mammals

[Nungali]

Sometimes life is just about having fun  

 

 

 

[ilumairen]

On 7/15/2018 at 10:00 AM, Earl Grey said:

Nope didn’t feel attacked. I just thought there was no need to conceal it when the topic was right there in the recent thread.

 

I also have no idea where you base your conclusions about me or my path, but knock yourself out, lady. I’m sure comparing my flow in the Tao against yours ranks up there with the usual list of fruitful endeavors such as clipping your toenails in public and saying that your cuticles are prettier than everyone else because you’re letting us see something we would never have questioned until you made it public knowledge and still failed to enrich our lives with those facts about you.

 

Have a nice Sunday.

 

Was going to let this go, and then decided I don't want to.

 

Would you care to explain what comes across as incredibly misogynistic bs? 

[Earl Grey]

You must have a different definition of misogyny and threshold than I do. And no, I owe you no explanation because none of that "incredibly misogynistic bs" was present or intended in anything I said.

 

Let it go, or don't. I did!

 

Have a nice day!

 

EDIT: for your consideration, I shall leave you with one of my most favorite references in a site I regularly frequent, which may surprise you: https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/09/social-justice-less-elitist/

 

Calling people out (e.g. your words of demanding I explain "incredibly misogynistic bs") is a great way to not get what you want whether it's change or dialogue. Calling people in is the way to go if you really want dialogue. 

Edited July 18, 2018 by Earl Grey

[Pilgrim]

The Knock yourself out lady is a gender based attack . Intended either on purpose or by habit to intimidate females.

 

Knock yourself out would have been sufficient. 

 

The toenail nonscense is just mean natured.

 

Credit  is given for contructive nastiness in a reply.

 

 

[Earl Grey]

The North American Internet definition of that term must have changed, because "knock yourself out" to me just means "have fun, go entertain yourself with whatever it is you fancy" as opposed to what it means to you, and is a term I've heard interchangeably between the sexes as recently as last week by American women and a Luxembourgish woman, or German men, who were not an older generation, but Millennials and Gen-Xers. 

 

Addressing Rene as "lady" was intended by me a means of respect (which I do have regardless of what you may think) for the person I was interacting with rather than saying "woman". 

 

The toenail remark is what I would have said to anyone, given I've seen too many males doing this whether at the airport or train station and can't understand why people seem to think it's acceptable in public and if we're going to hold them in much higher regard. 

 

This is my context and I take ownership for it. I do not take ownership for what I am accused of because those weren't my intent, but do offer apologies to those who are offended. 

[liminal_luke]

35 minutes ago, Earl Grey said:

 Calling people in is the way to go if you really want dialogue. 

 

I liked this part and think it`s true.    

 

As a side note, how easy it is to misunderstand people`s intentions online.  I recently accused another bum of "frothing at the mouth" because of how something he wrote struck me.  Later I discovered I was wrong.  Generally I think of myself as pretty good at interpreting people`s meaning but mistakes happen.

Edited July 19, 2018 by liminal_luke

[Earl Grey]

2 hours ago, liminal_luke said:

 

I liked this part and think it`s true.    

 

As a side note, how easy it is to misunderstand people`s intentions online.  I recently accused another bum of "frothing at the mouth" because of how something he wrote struck me.  Later I discovered I was wrong.  Generally I think of myself as pretty good at interpreting people`s meaning but mistakes happen.

 

I generally find I have more patience with people online and people look more than they see when reading: by looking, they have something they are searching for to reinforce the reality tunnel, by seeing, they have a wide and embracing range of possibilities. As an anachronism in time and an expatriate, the nebulousness of cultures and norms is all just jazz to me. Somehow, in the expat communities and circles I've come across, there's more wiggle room for misunderstandings, which is odd because the Internet seems to be a demagoguery of cacophony edging us towards a shame-based consensus as opposed to inclusivity. Internet culture appears to have its own views because people often assume and project more than ask and understand, or call out and shame as opposed to wanting others to be better. A battle for relevance: this is what life on the Internet has become instead of a network that allows connections that would otherwise never have been made due to time(zones) and (geographic) space. 

Edited July 19, 2018 by Earl Grey

[ilumairen]

14 hours ago, Earl Grey said:

You must have a different definition of misogyny and threshold than I do. And no, I owe you no explanation because none of that "incredibly misogynistic bs" was present or intended in anything I said.

 

Let it go, or don't. I did!

 

Have a nice day!

 

EDIT: for your consideration, I shall leave you with one of my most favorite references in a site I regularly frequent, which may surprise you: https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/09/social-justice-less-elitist/

 

Calling people out (e.g. your words of demanding I explain "incredibly misogynistic bs") is a great way to not get what you want whether it's change or dialogue. Calling people in is the way to go if you really want dialogue. 

 

There was no demand. There was a question that included the phrase "what came across as". And to me, without any reference other than the words in this thread, it did come across that way. 

 

Thank you for taking the time to clarify. (Although I'm still a bit confused as to how toenails correlate.)