A neigong joke

[Owledge]

I watched videos of a foreigner in China who said: If you want to see China, Beijing is merely easymode and not the real China.

And I thought...

 

 

In neigong, bae jing is first base, bae chi is second base, bae shen is third base.

[sustainablefarm86]

Truly deep. Is this something to be realized? What's the stage being talked about here?

 It's so much magical I almost disappeared

 

 

 

Edited November 8, 2018 by King Jade

[Owledge]

@King Jade I would prefer not to go into joke-explaining.

[Toni]

I don't get it neither

[OldDog]

How about ...

 

Two monks walk into a bar and the bartender says ... 'What'll it Be?"

 

Ba-boom!

 

 

Edited November 9, 2018 by OldDog

[Marblehead]

Okay, I'll try.

 

A monk goes to a pizza place and orders a pizza.  The pizza is finished and the cashier says "That will be $7.50.  The monk offers a ten dollar bill and the cashier gives the monk the pizza.  The monk asks "Where's my change?"  The cashier says "Change is within."

 

[oak]

56 minutes ago, Marblehead said:

Okay, I'll try.

 

A monk goes to a pizza place and orders a pizza.  The pizza is finished and the cashier says "That will be $7.50.  The monk offers a ten dollar bill and the cashier gives the monk the pizza.  The monk asks "Where's my change?"  The cashier says "Change is within."

 

That joke sounded a bit like that same neigong book they put on sale every year with a new cover and a new title and a new author.

[Marblehead]

Yeah, it's an old joke.  I posted it as I remembered it so it may differ from the original.

 

Okay, another of the same.

 

A monk went to Wal-Mart and bought a vacuum cleaner.  He got it back to the monastery, opened the box and the only thing in the box was the vacuum machine.  He took it back to Wal-Mart and wanted to return it as there were no attachments.  Wal-Mart told the monk that he wasn't supposed to have any attachments.

 

[Zen Pig]

OK, bar jokes it is.  A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "What's with the long face".........  

[Owledge]

 

An imaam, a priest and a rabbi walk out of a bar.

 

...

 

Sorry, you missed the joke.

 

 

It was hilarious. But you just had to be there.

[wenwu]

Ok i have to join...

 

A monk walks into a pizza place and says to the waiter....... "can you make me one with everything?"

[Marblehead]

Hehehe.  My mind was a little slow but after about 15 seconds it slapped me aside the head.

 

 

[silent thunder]

one monk leans over and whispers to another...

"are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

[OldDog]

These are great! We can all use a little more humor in our lives.

 

Thanks!

[Owledge]

Read this in a Youtube comment yesterday - slightly improved:

 

A tourist visits a monastery and sees an old man peeling potatoes.

Tourist: "Are you the Head Friar here?"

Old man: "No, I am but a chip monk."

Edited November 17, 2018 by Owledge

[wenwu]

Right....

 

Oldy but goodie, stop reading if yiu have heard it.

 

GHANDI 

 

Ghandi walked barefoot for much of his life and through this practice developed alot of tough skin on his feet.

 

In his later years Ghandi became quite weak and frail.

 

Ghandi was a mystic.

 

Due to his odd diet Ghandi was known to have quite bad breath.

 

So taking this all into account you could say he was......

 

 

Wait for it.............

 

A super calloused, fragile mystic, hexed with halitosis.

 

Thank you and good night