Responsibility

[Lost in Translation]

Responsibility

 

On the one hand we are responsible for all things in our own life. On the other hand we are responsible for nothing. Case in point: you live your life and adjust to all circumstances that appear before you. You are responsible for your responses. They define you and they form the foundation for all that is to come. You are fully in charge of your responses and thus fully responsible for them.

 

But you have no control over what is to come. You have no say in what tomorrow may bring, nor indeed if there will be a tomorrow. In this manner you bear no responsibility. They key to wisdom, happiness, and success in life is to balance responsibility for one's responses against the utter lack of responsibility for one's environment. One must see where the one ends and the other begins.

 

This is not easy. Many confuse the two and attempt to bear the burden for their environment - a thing they can not do - while ignoring their own responses to their environment - a thing they must not do. This ends in confusion, pain, chaos and suffering.

Edited November 19, 2018 by Lost in Translation

[Marblehead]

You know, I love the Zoroastrian concept of the creation of (wo)man and that we are born with free will.

 

Of course, along with that free will we are charged with the responsibility for all our thoughts, words and deeds.  It doesn't say anything about being responsible for any future effects other than the ones we have caused.

 

 

[Aetherous]

It seems true to me, to some extent, that the future isn't in our hands. No matter what, life happens to us and it isn't always pretty.

But in another sense, the future is in our hands. Our negative actions in the present moment will have negative consequences, and our positive actions will (hopefully) have positive consequences in the future. The chain of cause and effect is sometimes hard to distinguish, but it still works in one way or another...

For instance, a person can be doing horrible things and not be caught. They can actually seem very lucky, and end up being a success in all visible areas of life (romantic, traveling, wealth, family, etc), having everything a person could want. To them and others, it might seem like there's no link between action and consequence. What's unseen is that perhaps their character is so degraded that they live their life without any sense of fulfillment or peace. It could also be the case that they eventually get caught.

 

In another instance, though, a person can do great deeds for others that seem to go entirely unrewarded, or perhaps are even punished ("no good deed goes unpunished")...and perhaps the only reward is that their positivity plants a seed in others so that decades later those others will become good; in other words, it can happen that positive consequences are entirely unseen by the person doing positive actions. Another thing - they might sleep better at night than most people, and actually enjoy each moment of their life, despite it being incredibly challenging due to having no success in any arena of life (broke, lonely, etc).

 

On the flip side...other times, you do good and you get good results. Let's say you help an elderly person cross the street, and they think you're a very nice young person, so as a result they introduce you to a beautiful family member your age...who becomes your spouse, and your life is enriched.

Or you do bad and get bad results. Let's say you do an armed robbery at a store, and get caught and go to prison for years. Sucks don't it?

So, the results of our good or bad actions are sometimes hard to discern, but they are there in some form or another. They shape our future to some extent, although not in reliable ways. Life still gives us lemons, and try as we might to make things easy for us, our efforts will fail. Some teachers say that bad things happen to good people due to negative actions which we were responsible for in past lives, which would really strengthen the viewpoint of karmic ripening. Some of us find that hard to believe, and think that this is just the nature of life - that it challenges us.

Anyway, it's mostly unpredictable, so it's true that our main responsibility is our response in each moment.

[thelerner]

Agree with the OP.  Life is like a poker game.  You're given hand of cards, good or bad, random cards come along.  There's luck, there's skill, there's bluffing..  Perhaps the secret is realizing it can be a friendly game and having pals around who'll let you look at there cards. 

[rene]

And then there's always Sai Ong's horse.

 

Quote

“In the northern frontier of ancient China, there lived a man who was particularly skilled in raising horses. People knew of him and called him Sai Ong – literally “Old Frontiersman.”

One day, for some unknown reason, his horse got loose and ran off into the Hu territory beyond the Great Wall. The Hu tribes were hostile toward the Chinese, so everyone assumed the horse was as good as lost.

Horses were very valuable to the people living at the frontier, so they regarded this loss as a great financial setback. They visited Sai Ong to express their sympathies, but Sai Ong’s elderly father surprised them by remaining calm and unaffected. Much to their puzzlement, the old man asked, “Who says this cannot be some sort of blessing?”

Months later, the horse returned to the stable with a companion – a fine steed of the Hu breed. It was as if Sai Ong’s wealth suddenly doubled. Everyone came by to marvel at the new horse and to congratulate him, but again his elderly father showed no great emotions. He said, “Who says this cannot be some sort of misfortune?”

Sai Ong’s son enjoyed riding and took the new horse out for a ride. An accident occurred, causing him to fall badly and break a leg. Again sympathetic people came to console the family, and again they saw that the grandfather remained as calm as ever. Just as before, he told them, “Who says this cannot be some sort of blessing?”

One year later, the Hu people amassed and crossed the border into China. All the able-bodied young men were summoned into the army to take up arms in defense. Fierce battles ensued, resulting in heavy casualties. Among the inhabitants of the northern frontier, nine out of ten men died.

Sai Ong’s son did not go into battle because of his broken leg. As a result, he was spared that terrible fate, and his family survived the war intact.”

 

Not possible to know eventual outcomes... but I like to think everything works out in the end, and whatever comes will be okay.

(-:

 

[Lost in Translation]

18 minutes ago, rene said:

And then there's always Sai Ong's horse.

 

I have always enjoyed that story.

 

Sai Ong's family may have been able to prevent the horse running away, but they certainly could not have prevented its return. Sai Ong's son may have been able prevent his own broken leg but he certainly could not have prevented the war. Had he gone to war, Sai Ong's son may have returned alive, but he would have no way to guarantee that. In the end life works out as it will and we, as characters in our own story, must learn to adapt. This is all we can do, as Sai Ong so clearly demonstrates.

Edited November 19, 2018 by Lost in Translation

[rene]

24 minutes ago, Lost in Translation said:

 

I have always enjoyed that story.

 

Sai Ong's family may have been able to prevent the horse running away, but they certainly could not have prevented its return. Sai Ong's son may have been able prevent his own broken leg but he certainly could not have prevented the war. Had he gone to war, Sai Ong's son may have returned alive, but he would have no way to guarantee that. In the end life works out as it will and we, as characters in our own story, must learn to adapt. This is all we can do, as Sai Ong so clearly demonstrates.

Agree and, imo, part of that 'adapting' is understanding that regardless of whether the things that happen are in or out of our control/responsibility - all outcomes are not knowable and rarely controllable. Positive attitudes and doing the best we can with what we got might be a good way to start.

:-)

[Lost in Translation]

Example:

 

The day starts off like any other: kiss the spouse goodbye, hop in the car, head out to work. From there it all falls apart. A fire sparks in the woods and tears through the neighborhood. The roads are closed. Everyone evacuates. And just like that you are separated from your loved ones and homeless.

 

Are you responsible for this? Is anyone? Sure, you can point fingers all day, but to what end?

 

Ultimately you must decide: shall I burn myself up inside struggling against that which I cannot control, or will I accept my limits and act accordingly? Part of the process of ending the struggle is to end the guilt. You are not responsible. You never were responsible. You never will be responsible.

 

Do I blame my house cat when the winter turns cold?

 

Rubbish!

[Zen Pig]

lets put a spin on this one. 

If the Titanic did not sink, you and I would not be here. If Hitler did not do what he did, exactly as he did it, our families, husband"s, wife's, children would not be here.  Are these causes good or bad?  could the captain of the Titanic or Hitler take credit for our wonderful, loving family, who has gone on to grow and help others?

From what i have seen so far,  cause and effect are mostly western concepts where one separate "thing" or person,  acts on another thing or person,  and a result occurs that is somehow not connected with the rest of the universe. This is what is taught in first year physics as a simplified tool to help understand Newtonian mechanics.  But in this universe, nothing acts as a simple cause, because every cause is also an effect, and every effect is a cause. A spider web of being,  touch one strand on a spider web, and the whole web reacts, and its reaction causes other effects and on and on.  

Taking responsibility for me, is being honest about my intent in my actions, but in the end, I still have no idea if my actions will result in good or bad, and probably both.  i think the term is "The Law of Unintended Consequences" 

[rene]

44 minutes ago, Zen Pig said:

...

 

Taking responsibility for me, is being honest about my intent in my actions, but in the end, I still have no idea if my actions will result in good or bad, and probably both.  i think the term is "The Law of Unintended Consequences" 

You are right, it is both - and at the same time.

Every action, and non-action, is one of simultaneous creation and destruction; such is the way.