Reaching Deep Relaxation

[Yonkon]

Dear Bums,

 

through lucky circumstances i find myself in the possession of a lot of free time for the next half year.

Besides a business project and developing my relationship, i want to work towards a goal that is dear to me: to feel relaxed, very deeply.

A part of me tells me that it is quite selfish to pursue relaxation,  it doesn't help anybody! But the other  parts of me says that people will benefit and be positivly influenced by a calm and relaxed spirit. Also it feels nice! The second voice is louder by far so i make this post.

 

The thing is i am a total noob.

I know a tiny bit about standard meditation and almost nothing about more body oriented practices like hatha, qi qong and tai chi (by the way, whats the difference between tai chi and qi qong?) I don't know if it's even wise to "Pursue" a state of mind and body, i think it's an attachment itself to want relaxation but i don't know how to handle that. 

 

Basically, i am clueless. My Goal is to deeply sink in to my body, like when i was a child and listened to music or relaxed in the sun.  I am 21 year old, and everything feels like a rush. When i read a book i think of the next one to buy while still reading the introduction.  When i walk the dog i hurry. When i eat i devour.  Maybe you can relate?

 

I am lost. Should i ground myself in breathing? Should i "just let go"? Should i do hatha yoga, qi qung, tai chi or another one of the thousand exercises out there? Should i focus on family, on relationships? Read more books? Exercise more? Exercise less? Find the root cause? Stop Overthinking? 

 

Maybe some of you can guide me, or give me subtle pointers to the road i want to travel. I would be thankful for everything.

Cheers

 

PS: I want to go there

[freeform]

What would being deeply relaxed give you that’s more important than the relaxation itself?

[Yonkon]

My wish seems to connected to the longing for protection. When i'm relaxed, i imagine, i am not afraid, i am safe and no one can hurt me because everything will be alright. When i'm not relaxed, everything seems dangerous, everything can give me more stress, can hurt me, can break me.  

[freeform]

Thanks - you clearly went inside and considered the question deeply and came out with a good answer.

 

What does feeling safe and protected give you that’s even more important than feeling safe?

 

(there’s a point to these questions, I promise  )

[Yonkon]

Feeling safe and protected is the only way, it seems to me, to just be as i am. When i feel safe, i don't have to pretend, protect, act, playing a role. I can allow myself just to exist, without anything in addition to pure existence itself.

Right now i can't allow myself to do that. Because of fear. Fear of pain, failure, humiliation, death.

[rideforever]

Relaxation wise I have a bunch of great relaxation CDs, you put them on and go.   Actually I just found that one of the best is now on youtube it's very good, try it maybe you like it  :
 

 

[windwalker]

5 hours ago, Yonkon said:

by the way, whats the difference between tai chi and qi qong?

 

The main difference is that taiji is a martial art that embodies many aspects of chi gong but it's not the central point of the practice.

 

Qi gong，

 

the central point of the practice is the practice itself. For most people who practice in the Parks their taiji practice can be classed as a type of Qigong no longer vible as a martial art.

Edited January 4, 2019 by windwalker

[Yonkon]

5 minutes ago, rideforever said:

Relaxation wise I have a bunch of great relaxation CDs, you put them on and go.   Actually I just found that one of the best is now on youtube it's very good, try it maybe you like it 
 

 

Thanks! Can i listen to it while laying in bed?

 

4 minutes ago, windwalker said:

 

The main difference is that taiji is a martial art that embodies many aspects of chi gong but it's not the central point of the practice.

 

Qi gong，

 

the central point of the practice is the practice itself. For most people a practice in the Parks there taiji practice can be classed as a type of Qigong no longer vible as a martial art.

Thank you as well, this clears things up. Can i follow basic youtube videos for qi qong or should i search for a better source?

[rideforever]

13 minutes ago, Yonkon said:

Thanks! Can i listen to it while laying in bed?

yup

[s1va]

In my experience yoga nidra is the best practice for relaxing and to take the mind to deep states of inner silence.  It is much easier to practice than any guided meditation.  Less risky also in terms of things going wrong or energy overloads, since it has a balancing grounding component also.  One can lie down in savasana/corpse-posture while practicing this.  It's okay if you go to sleep in the middle when starting to practice this.  I bought the MP3 version of this guided yoga nidra practice below over a decade back.  It helped me tremendously.  After sometime I did not need the guided audio and could do it on my own.  Some of the Buddhist bodichitta mediations also have similar scanning of different body parts.  Helps open up and clear the energy pathways all across the body.

 

The following video is the introduction.  There are 3 more parts to this which are also available in YouTube.

 

 

[windwalker]

39 minutes ago, Yonkon said:

 

Thank you as well, this clears things up. Can i follow basic youtube videos for qi qong or should i search for a better source?

 

A very big question much of it depends on you, your experience where you're at. I would always advise to look for a group or a teacher that one can ask questions of directly.  

 

Not having access to a group or teacher I would advise looking for what are called passive approaches , as opposed to active ones. 

 

There are many here on this site who could share and provide you with their experiences regarding different qi gong practices.

[Yonkon]

3 hours ago, s1va said:

The following video is the introduction.  There are 3 more parts to this which are also available in YouTube.

 

will try it out tonight, will report back - thanks 

 

3 hours ago, windwalker said:

Not having access to a group or teacher I would advise looking for what are called passive approaches , as opposed to active ones. 

 

Can you specify what you mean with passive approach? Google can't help me with this one.

[freeform]

4 hours ago, Yonkon said:

Feeling safe and protected is the only way, it seems to me, to just be as i am. When i feel safe, i don't have to pretend, protect, act, playing a role. I can allow myself just to exist, without anything in addition to pure existence itself.

Right now i can't allow myself to do that. Because of fear. Fear of pain, failure, humiliation, death.

 

I suggest learning mindfulness... it’s a way of using your awareness to stay centred and relaxed no matter what circumstances you’re in.

 

If you want to take it further, then you can try Qi Gong or Taiji or other forms of meditation.

[Lost in Translation]

Get plenty of sleep!

 

There is a brief period after sleep when the mind wakes up before the body. One literally lies in bed feeling the body asleep - muscles relaxed to the point they feel like sacs of water. It's quite pleasant. With awareness and practice one can learn to expand this period of time, to hold on to it. It is about intention. Once one intends to move, the body awakes even before one actually moves, but lie there without intention and the body remains calm.

 

Knowing how the body feels when sleeping, one can learn to steer the body towards deep relaxation while awake. That's harder to do, but like most things it is the practice that matters most. Results follow.

Edited January 5, 2019 by Lost in Translation

[Everything]

When you think you are overthinking what you are actually doing is scattered thinking, not deliberate, not focused thinking. So if you use your ability to focus on the word "Relaxed" and allow yourself to imagine it in the best possible way you can, and simply do whatever you are inspired the most to do what you have the greatest capability of doing in the moment, you will forever become more and more relaxed in your ever allowing of the more relaxedness that you truely desire.

I personally, just lie down, and relax all my muscles, let go of every tension in all of my muscles all throughout my entire body from head to toe. Then, simply breath and enjoy my breathing, as my mind wonders in thought, I gently take my attention back to my breathing, and I am. Simply in the moment. Enjoying my being and relaxing. Then as you are fully relaxed, you can effortlessly fall asleep by simply letting go of everything, and you can also choose to simply continue to meditate, and feel good, and often when I feel good, I am capable of allowing that good feeling to be more fully lived in my life and expressed, in absolute freedom of choice of however I am inspired to be that good feeling, very gently and softly. And it always leads me to enjoyable life experiences. As I am using my focus, to focus on that good feeling on all the things that are of that good feeling for me, evermore. As that focus then always allows it to expand ever more into even greater and better feelings of e-motions, energy in motions.

Edited January 5, 2019 by Everything

[Yonkon]

23 hours ago, rideforever said:

Relaxation wise I have a bunch of great relaxation CDs, you put them on and go.   Actually I just found that one of the best is now on youtube it's very good, try it maybe you like it 

 

I tried it last night, very relaxing. I'm already familiar with the body scan technique but the guiding was exceptional on this recording. I will use it more than once

 

23 hours ago, s1va said:

The following video is the introduction.  There are 3 more parts to this which are also available in YouTube

 

I tried this on also, sadly in the middle youtube started to play me an loud advertisement with energetic electronic music, i am not skilled enough to stay aware in this situation  will try it this night, downloaded, with out capitalistic interruptions.

 

18 hours ago, Lost in Translation said:

Get plenty of sleep!

 

There is a brief period after sleep when the mind wakes up before the body. One literally lies in bed feeling the body asleep - muscles relaxed to the point they feel like sacs of water. It's quite pleasant. With awareness and practice one can learn to expand this period of time, to hold on to it.

Sounds  very intresting, i think i am familiar with the feeling right after waking up. The thing is my alarm goes of and i have to move to put it out, waking up before the alarm, on my own is hard... Is there a work around? 

[Yonkon]

8 hours ago, Everything said:

So if you use your ability to focus on the word "Relaxed" and allow yourself to imagine it in the best possible way you can, and simply do whatever you are inspired the most to do what you have the greatest capability of doing in the moment, you will forever become more and more relaxed in your ever allowing of the more relaxedness that you truely desire.

I am doing something similar: I take my guitar, play 2 chords on and on, and then i am singing stuff like " i am totally relaxed, oh baby yeah" while imagining my absolute over the top relaxation fantasy. I call it music magick, i think it motivated me to write this post.  

[Lost in Translation]

8 hours ago, Yonkon said:

The thing is my alarm goes of and i have to move to put it out, waking up before the alarm, on my own is hard... Is there a work around? 

 

It works best when you don't use an alarm, e.g. on your day off. Otherwise just go to bed earlier. Once the alarm goes off it's impossible to reach this state.

 

This morning I awoke in the manner I described and lay in bed for maybe ten minutes before moving. I listened to my house cat as he groomed himself at the foot of the bed and savored the sound of my wife's gentle breathing. At times my muscles would begin to awake so I focused on my own breathing and they relaxed again.

 

I think now that you know this process is possible you will soon experience it. When you do, let me know what you think.

 

[Yonkon]

On 4.1.2019 at 8:43 PM, s1va said:

 

The following video is the introduction.  There are 3 more parts to this which are also available in YouTube.

 

 

 

I tried this last night and i liked it even more than the one posted before you.

I drifted away after the body scan, but came right back for the breathing technique. At some point i got some sort of unsettling anxiety, especially while the "go deep, deep between the empty space between your breasts. Feel the emptiness." I felt very still, and my mind drifted slowly deeper into the emptiness but then i stopped, i was too scared. 

After the session i contemplated my death, i don't do that often, it just happened. 

 

The relaxation was very intense, but not how i imagined it. When i think of relaxation, i feel warm. The feeling doing the practice was cold, still pleasant but very empty. There was no love, or i didn't recognized it, that scared me i think.

 

My Question is: Can i screw myself up when i go too deep into the emptiness, in to the stillness? I'm scared that after going too deep i'm a psychological wreck, nihilistic and suicidal. Can that happen?

[s1va]

45 minutes ago, Yonkon said:

 

I tried this last night and i liked it even more than the one posted before you.

I drifted away after the body scan, but came right back for the breathing technique. At some point i got some sort of unsettling anxiety, especially while the "go deep, deep between the empty space between your breasts. Feel the emptiness." I felt very still, and my mind drifted slowly deeper into the emptiness but then i stopped, i was too scared. 

After the session i contemplated my death, i don't do that often, it just happened. 

 

The relaxation was very intense, but not how i imagined it. When i think of relaxation, i feel warm. The feeling doing the practice was cold, still pleasant but very empty. There was no love, or i didn't recognized it, that scared me i think.

 

My Question is: Can i screw myself up when i go too deep into the emptiness, in to the stillness? I'm scared that after going too deep i'm a psychological wreck, nihilistic and suicidal. Can that happen?

 

Glad you liked it.  It is a very good guided yoga nidra practice.  The person guiding really knows what they are doing.  About your question on screwing up, it is very unlikely to screw up just with yoga nidra practice.  Screw ups generally happen when drugs are involved with meditation or energy practices.

 

Also, remember this is just a starting practice for beginners.  It is best to do any advanced energy practices with some guidance.  True transformation happens only with guidance from a teacher/divine being.  These type of practices are just to calm the mind in the early stages.

[s1va]

Something like out of body experiences can happen to certain people practicing yoga nidra.  There is nothing to fear about this in my opinion.

[Yonkon]

10 minutes ago, s1va said:

Also, remember this is just a starting practice for beginners.  It is best to do any advanced energy practices with some guidance.  True transformation happens only with guidance from a teacher/divine being.  These type of practices are just to calm the mind in the early stages.

Interesting. But how i find such a teacher/being? I live in a small town, i highly doubt anyone can help me here. (Although i don't know for sure)

[s1va]

14 minutes ago, Yonkon said:

Interesting. But how i find such a teacher/being? I live in a small town, i highly doubt anyone can help me here. (Although i don't know for sure)

 

When we are ready, we will invariably find a teacher or a lineage that can help or provide guidance.  It will happen sooner or later, no matter where a person physically is.

 

Some of us here do group energy practices in a place called Living Unbound in slack (similar to the TDB slack chat).  If you are interested and would like to check out, send me a PM and I will send you the link to sign up for the chat.  This has helped some of us here tremendously in the past few years.

[Yonkon]

1 hour ago, s1va said:

 

When we are ready, we will invariably find a teacher or a lineage that can help or provide guidance.  It will happen sooner or later, no matter where a person physically is.

 

Very interesting. Is there a way to understand such "synchronicitys" in a conceptual way? For a long time i was very skeptic about everything spiritual, so a  younger part of me screams "bs, the only way to find a teacher is by looking for someone, nothing will happen on it's own." Although i have, to the most part, outgrown this view there are still doubts. 

[doc benway]

On 1/4/2019 at 9:54 AM, Yonkon said:

Dear Bums,

 

through lucky circumstances i find myself in the possession of a lot of free time for the next half year.

Besides a business project and developing my relationship, i want to work towards a goal that is dear to me: to feel relaxed, very deeply.

A part of me tells me that it is quite selfish to pursue relaxation,  it doesn't help anybody! But the other  parts of me says that people will benefit and be positivly influenced by a calm and relaxed spirit. Also it feels nice! The second voice is louder by far so i make this post.

 

The thing is i am a total noob.

I know a tiny bit about standard meditation and almost nothing about more body oriented practices like hatha, qi qong and tai chi (by the way, whats the difference between tai chi and qi qong?) I don't know if it's even wise to "Pursue" a state of mind and body, i think it's an attachment itself to want relaxation but i don't know how to handle that. 

 

Basically, i am clueless. My Goal is to deeply sink in to my body, like when i was a child and listened to music or relaxed in the sun.  I am 21 year old, and everything feels like a rush. When i read a book i think of the next one to buy while still reading the introduction.  When i walk the dog i hurry. When i eat i devour.  Maybe you can relate?

 

I am lost. Should i ground myself in breathing? Should i "just let go"? Should i do hatha yoga, qi qung, tai chi or another one of the thousand exercises out there? Should i focus on family, on relationships? Read more books? Exercise more? Exercise less? Find the root cause? Stop Overthinking? 

 

Maybe some of you can guide me, or give me subtle pointers to the road i want to travel. I would be thankful for everything.

Cheers

 

I wonder if we can know what others need?

 

The things that have been the most relaxing for me have been spending time in nature and meditation.

Physical exercise is very important for relaxation as is adequate and restful sleep.

The other thing I'll mention is the value of helping others. There is no better feeling. This is something that could lead to some big and positive changes in how you feel about yourself and the world. Consider spending some of that free time helping others who are in need. There are lots of volunteer opportunities out there.

 

If I was in your position, I would plan to spend a lot of time in nature and would find a teacher and begin a regular meditation practice.

 

What a blessing to have a lot of free time and youth on your side.

Most of all... enjoy!

 

PS - do some research in your area regarding local teachers, you may be pleasantly surprised. If you can't find anyone, there are good options for online instruction. Feel free to PM me and I can make some recommendations

Edited January 7, 2019 by steve