Very strange experience. Enlightenment or something else?

[voras]

Hello everyone!

 

So I had/having very strange experience which did start on 21st of November 2018 and it's still continuing and progressing. I don't know if this is important, but this was 13th lunar day.

 

I think I will start firstly about telling a little bit more about myself an my personality.

 

I'm almost 28yrs old guy. Working in IT sector in Germany. Before everything did happened I wouldn't have described myself as a spiritual person. I was a skeptical about these things. I did believed in God in my own way, but it was just few steps apart from non believer. I did heard/read a little bit about Enlightenment, Qi and so on, but I have not believed in it also.

 

Few years ago I started to have neck/shoulder pain on my left side. You would maybe think that it's typical for IT guy, but I'm not sitting in front of PC all the time in my work. I went of course to some doctors. By some I mean 7. I also did physiotherapy with 6 different practitioners. I think that added hours in physiotherapy would be something about 50hrs. No one could help me and it still does hurt. 

 

So last year I started to do a yoga from time to time by watching youtube videos. So nothing spiritual involved, just exercises. Last year was very stressful professionally for me so beginning October I started to do few minutes of meditation after a yoga. At this time I started to feel some changes in my body and mind, but the pain was still there like before. 

 

And then came the 21st of November. So I started to do yoga in the evening. Everything was fine and nothing new. After that I started to do meditation. At some point I felt the urge to take my wedding ring off, which was on my right hand. I hadn't any more metals on my body. I continued my meditation and few seconds later I started to see some images with my closed eyes, which got crisper and crisper. Now I know that the image which I saw was so called Seed of Life. And it was, at that moment very crisp. I opened my eyes and I was still there. I wasn't scared or else, I was actually very intrigued about that. Now, for better understanding, I was still criss crossed my legs, the ring was right in front of me on the ground and I don't know why, but I formed like some kind of triangle with my hands (thumbs and index fingers touching together other fingers straight) and I laid them on the ground with the ring in the middle of this triangle. I wanted to continue my meditation like this, so I closed my eyes and relaxed, still seeing the Seed of Life, not so crisp anymore but still very distinguishable. I continued to sit like this, when I started to feel something happening with my shoulder/neck area which was still painful. And then my shoulder popped and the whole body exploded with light. What happened after that is still very hard for my to describe. I started to laugh and then I started to cry. Knowledge about many things was streaming into me with this light. Understanding about death, birth, emotions, connection with other things and oneness of everything. It was very, very intense. And it still continued with my eyes open. Maybe it's too far stretched but I have even felt like traveling in time in some way. I don't know how to describe everything. I'm not sure for how long did everything last, but at some point I just went to bed and slept till next morning.

 

Next day this whole understanding was still there. What I immediately noticed that I have a headache, which was very different to any headaches which I had before. Next thing was that my eyesight and my memory had improved noticeably. Paradoxically I can't remember now if my shoulder/neck area did hurt on that particular day. So I went to work but after some hours I couldn't stay there so I asked my chef if could leave for the day and he was ok with that. When I got home I started to meditate again but nothing similar did happened, although this light was still there. 

 

Following weeks I still could feel this light inside of me. One thing, which was also noticed by other persons, was that I could help people to find some answers to their personal problems. I would describe this like the answers were immediately forming in my head with this light together, before I even knew the problem completely. I must say that I was very happy that I could help someone with their burden, but it still bugged me, that my neck/shoulder hurt.

 

In December I started to research more about my experience. But everything was chaotic. I haven't clue where should I start. Like I said in the beginning I wasn't spiritual person, but during my research big portion of information which I did encountered was already knowledgeable for me through my personal experience. I also felt that during this all research someone was guiding me a little. It was like the thought was forming in my head and some time later I could find exactly same thought in internet or book.

 

So now we are having the evening of 19th of January 2019. I don't know if this is a coincidence but it was also 13th lunar day, like the 21st of November 2018 before. On 19th of January I still haven't looked about lunar days. I did this after my experience which did happened this evening. Like the last time I did some yoga and after that I started to do meditation. So almost two months after my first experience, the light inside me was pretty dim. This time during my meditation, my dog was in the same room. I meditated, nothing "special" did happened. I was still sitting on the floor, my dog was sleeping about 14 feet away from me, I opened my eyes and  then suddenly connected myself to some energy source. I presume that my dog felt that in some way, because not a millisecond past, that he stood up and came up to me and staid before me. I literally felt physically this energy inside of me and I could even control it inside of me. So when the dog came to me, this energy was in the heart chakra. Then I moved it to my right palm, which was on my criss crossed legs, and my dog started immediately to play with. Then I moved it back to my heart chakra and my dog immediately left the hand alone. After that I channeled it in my left palm and the same thing happened. My dog started to play with it. Everything took about 10min. In this time I tested this energy in different palms and my dog responded without failure to particular sides. After 10min I started to feel that this energy stream would end soon and when it did happened my dog immediately went back to the same place 14 feet away.

 

Next days, were more or less normal. I did experienced very minor energy flows. On one day all my hair on my arms were standing up like charged, but I could not control this energy. Last week, when I felt this energy a small piece of plastic paper stuck on my hand and it staid there for about 2-3 minutes. I tried to shake it off firstly, because I was meditating and it started to tingle my hand, but I couldn't get it off and then I realized that it did happened because of this energy. So I grabbed my phone and filmed it. I can upload it later if someone wishes. I could move this piece of paper from finger to finger and it just staid on my fingers and even nails. Next day I tried to repeat that without meditation and I couldn't. I even tried to electrify it on my head hair like a balloon, if you know what I mean. But I still couldn't have the same effect. 

 

So now this is the point where I'm and I'm pretty lost. I don't know what is exactly happening with me. I don't know if I'm imagining this everything somehow. My shoulder/neck pain is still there and it didn't got any better. I hope to find some help and insights here. Maybe someone could guide me to some teacher or even firstly scan me remotely? I feel that this energy can progress further. After all these events I have this enormous urge to help other people somehow, but I don't know how. Maybe because I need a help myself. I stumbled on this website for a first time few days ago and I immediately felt, that I need to share my story here. So that's what I did.   

 

 

 

 

[Fa Xin]

Seems like a part of you opened up to the energetic realm. Also sounds like you are naturally inclined or inborn talent for such things. Very cool story, thanks for sharing. 

[voras]

Thank you Fa Xin.

 

I don't know if it's important, but I forgot to mention, that I have a tinnitus (since my childhood). It's very high pitched and it comes from middle of my skull. When I'm meditating sometimes I concentrate my attention to this sound and after few moments this sound does disappear, but in this instant I feel very dizzy, so I leave the sound alone and then everything does normalize ant tinnitus comes back.  

[voras]

I did uploaded my video, which I took last week, when this small piece of paper stuck to me. I know, that it maybe looks silly. And I do know about static electricity, but I could not reproduce something similar another day without meditation by rubbing this piece of paper to wool or something similar. I really tried.

 

I started to film this a little bit less than after 2min, when it was already stuck to my hand. In those first minutes I just did observed it myself how it moved from one finger to another and around my hand.

 

 

 

Edited February 16, 2019 by voras

[wandelaar]

The video doesn't play on my computer. Could you place it on YouTube?

[voras]

I updated my post. In the end I could feel that the energy is leaving me and this piece just felt off. Then I tried to concentrate my mind back and try it again, but like you see, it did stuck just for few seconds and the energy was gone.

[rideforever]

Sounds like you are remembering your awakening from a previous lifetime, and that was probably an awakening caused by a tradition that uses energy work (like Kundalini yoga or Western Alchemy).

 

Had the same thing myself when Bang .... suddenly massive energy rememberances visions and powers.   Was half insane for two weeks, thought I was in real trouble and there were 2 people inside, but it settled down.   

Much later I understood what happened.

 

Happens a lot, it seems to be how existence pushes you to remember yourself, sometimes forcefully, like running into a way and smacking your 3rd eye on the wall.

You instinctively know what to do to work with energy.

 

So that's all fine, congratulations this isn't your first life, you have already survived at least one death.

What do do now ?
Well ... nothing to do, it's all already inside you and you put it in, so don't worry, just let it unfold and try to become friends with what is inside you.   The discomfort is probably the remembrances trying to find a way to emerge into this incarnation, and you seem to be unfolding them naturally, nothing to worry about.

 

It might be nice to light some incense in the evening and sit with the remembrance of your soul and see what unfolds, no hurry just friendly.   And if you need to be with a group, then look on Meetup and just go and share your experiences with any kind of friendly group near you, just for company really.

You can also research any images you get like the Seed of Life, and perhaps you can be guided to rediscover the tradition you come from or something similar anyway.

 

As for the pain, you didn't describe it exactly.   You could try BK Frantzis Outer Dissolving, or you could try speaking to it (visualizing it), or just surrendering very deeply and letting go, letting things happen.

The changes in your head and resulting vision are typical, and as energies change in the head it can indeed hurt, but be in trust.   Best thing to do is to relax and trust, because it is all in motion now.

 

Maybe print off a large and beautiful Seed of Life picture and stick it on the shrine, wave a dead chicken in the air, and sing Pink Floyd songs backwards hoping on one leg ... just have fun with it, in the end it's only life !!!  Don't worry.

Edited February 16, 2019 by rideforever

[rideforever]

Eagle River ???

[Sharerp]

19 hours ago, voras said:

I did uploaded my video, which I took last week, when this small piece of paper stuck to me. I know, that it maybe looks silly. And I do know about static electricity, but I could not reproduce something similar another day without meditation by rubbing this piece of paper to wool or something similar. I really tried.

 

I started to film this a little bit less than after 2min, when it was already stuck to my hand. In those first minutes I just did observed it myself how it moved from one finger to another and around my hand.

 

 

 

 I did that without any kind of powers and my hands dry

[voras]

@rideforever Very interesting thoughts. I would actually say that after this experience I did became more calmer. It did messed upped my head in some degree, but it wasn't in the bad way. My world view just shifted drastically, but it was like after this all pieces just fell together and many things became clearer for me. And this picture I a really good representation of what I saw

 

@Sharerp I'm not saying that I got some powers or something. It just did happened for me and I'm looking for a right answer. I don't want to prove anything for anyone just myself firstly. And sorry, but you can't really objectively compare our videos. I'm not pushing this piece of paper from one finger to another, you can even see how I'm barely touching it, when it moves from finger to finger, no pressure applied. At 0:08s you can see that it kind of swirls, when I put my both finger near of each other. I just did pushed a little, when I had felt, that this energy is leaving me. If it could be possible to reproduce it like in my video, that would be fine with me and I would move forward, believe me, but like I said your video is just entirely different. But I still want to thank you for your time.

Edited February 17, 2019 by voras

[Sharerp]

15 minutes ago, voras said:

@rideforever Very interesting thoughts. I would actually say that after this experience I did became more calmer. It did messed upped my head in some degree, but it wasn't in the bad way. My world view just shifted drastically, but it was like after this all pieces just fell together and many things became clearer for me. And this picture I a really good representation of what I saw

 

@Sharerp I'm not saying that I got some powers or something. It just did happened for me and I'm looking for a right answer. I don't want to prove anything for anyone just myself firstly. And sorry, but you can't really objectively compare our videos. I'm not pushing this piece of paper from one finger to another, you can even see how I'm barely touching it, when it moves from finger to finger, no pressure applied. At 0:08s you can see that it kind of swirls, when I put my both finger near of each other. I just did pushed a little, when I had felt, that this energy is leaving me. If it could be possible to reproduce it like in my video, that would be fine with me and I would move forward, believe me, but like I said your video is just entirely different. But I still want to thank you for your time.

Im not saying your experience is not real, but i think the paper thing is bullshit. 

[voras]

Maybe. I'm not denying it. But like I said, I can't reproduce it properly, that's all. 

[Mskied]

Sorry, I didn't read this post, but I have words about enlightenment.

 

Enlightenment is when you understand.  What is there to understand?  Everything.  Do you need to understand everything to consider yourself enlightened?  I don't know, do you?  Some people that can only add 1 to 10 could be called enlightened.  It depends on your point of view.  In America we have a way- capitalism and liberty- and to be enlightened about America, one needs to understand these ideas and what they produce.  Christ has another way, and to understand Christianity you need to see and know it for yourself.

 

Every "system" has a method, and a thesis, and in my opinion all systems start with the four elements.  Sprinkle in some Kabalah, a dash of hope for what things "should" be, and the way things around you "are" (capitalism and freedom) and you can be enlightened.  

In this age theres a lot going on, and the more familiar you are with the systems around, the more you can consider yourself to be enlightened.  When you talk to a Moslem, you want to know what they believe.  Same thing with a Thelemite, and a Taoist, and a regular laboring Joe.  You also want your own view.  

 

It could be considered enlightened not to have a view- and to work with the views of the people around you.  That fits with America, because theres so many beliefs, and we are all allowed to have them.  Some say that to have a belief is ignorance, especially when it comes to how you view others.  It depends what you want, peace?  Diplomacy?  Sovereignty?  Like I said, I found enlightenment when I discovered elemental magic, and then I found something else:  infinity.   I don't prescribe to a system, and I don't think God does either.  Though I do believe there is a shape and movement to things, when it comes to spirituality, I don't think anything can be considered the bible.  One more thing:  there are unseen powers and forces of things that we do not yet know, and so there is much to understand about the invisible Universe, but good luck figuring all that out, because the ones that control it are tight lipped.

[Cloudwalking Owl]

Hmmm. 

A couple things come to mind. First, my immediate reaction to the piece of plastic/paper is that you are dealing with static electricity. It might have more to do with the atmospheric conditions, what sort of clothes you were wearing, etc. Either way, I wouldn't fixate on it. As Mskied pointed out that "enlightenment" is about gaining insight and wisdom. You've had an experience of some sort---that isn't enlightenment. In most spiritual systems what you are experiencing would be considered a distraction. (Zen, for example, calls these sorts of things "Maiko" or "Devil illusions") There are other currents in most systems that would consider them eminently "groovy", but it's my opinion that all this stuff is pretty much irrelevant to the real goal, which is gaining wisdom.  

They do have value, IMHO, in that they are the sort of thing that can "shake" someone up and get them to realize that there is a lot more to life than the dominant paradigm would lead us to believe. Many people do have these sorts of experiences and they help them gain more insight into life, the universe, and, everything. But lots of people also get them because of problems in their body:  epilepsy, brain tumours, various psychiatric disturbances. So, if they continue---and especially if they grow in intensity----it would be useful to talk to a psychiatrist about these things. (You live in Germany, so I assume you have health insurance.) 

I'm concerned about your statement that "Knowledge about many things was streaming into me with this light. Understanding about death, birth, emotions, connection with other things and oneness of everything. It was very, very intense."  This is a very common experience---I've had it myself---but it's important to realize that this "knowledge" is a bit like "witch's gold": it very quickly turns to ordinary dirt. Real wisdom doesn't come from visions and revelations, it comes from struggle over time. This isn't to say that your experience isn't potentially worthwhile, but it's important not to read too much into it. 

Our society punishes people who talk about mystical experiences, which means that very few people talk about them. That means that they are dramatically "under reported". It might be that you have just had one. I got involved in this stuff because a guy in a bar got me into a conversation about meditation, I tried it, and, had a tremendously intense visionary, out-of-body experience. I've spent the last forty years of my life travelling the path that set me on. 
 

But lots of folks have similar experiences and just walk away from it. It depends on the person. Others find out that they have organic problems with their brain, and, these experiences are just a symptom of an underlying problem. Unfortunately, all this stuff is tremendously ambiguous and there are as many answers as there are people. 

 

One piece of practical advice I would offer---both from my personal experience and academic studies: try to live a blindingly "normal" life. That doesn't mean "locking" yourself into something like a job you hate, but make sure you have a job. And try to "fit in"---don't wear wear strange clothes, eat strange diets, say weird things, etc. In lieu of having a teacher to help you out with this stuff, it's important to not isolate yourself from mainstream society and your already existing social support group. Even if you decide to go down the rabbit hole that has opened up before you, make sure that you do it secretly. Only share what you experience with people you think might be able to understand what you are saying. This sort of stuff is esoteric not because people don't want to talk about it, it's esoteric because most people don't want to hear about it. 

Edited September 21, 2019 by Cloudwalking Owl

[EmeraldHead]

Sounds like local mind. You experienced flows but what about You? Nothing different/improved is it? Then it is not the universal mind of the sages. It is in your body, locally and your mind individual mind. 

[manitou]

On 9/21/2019 at 7:36 AM, Cloudwalking Owl said:

I'm concerned about your statement that "Knowledge about many things was streaming into me with this light. Understanding about death, birth, emotions, connection with other things and oneness of everything. It was very, very intense."  This is a very common experience---I've had it myself---but it's important to realize that this "knowledge" is a bit like "witch's gold": it very quickly turns to ordinary dirt. Real wisdom doesn't come from visions and revelations, it comes from struggle over time. This isn't to say that your experience isn't potentially worthwhile, but it's important not to read too much into it. 
 

 

 

Really excellent point, IMO.  I had an experience driving across the desert where there was a very unusual vision involving 'lines' around everything, connecting everything to everything else.  At the same moment, I felt like I had all the answers to everything! - and it was all so obvious.  But 30 seconds later?  I couldn't remember any of it, hard as I tried.

 

Good point about the struggle over time.  My perspective that this struggle over time involves self examination, resulting in self realization.

[liminal_luke]

Voras,

 

No comment from me Voras except to say that it sounds like you´ve opened yourself up to a part of yourself that you weren´t aware of before.  That´s gotta be a good thing.  Is it enlightenment?  I personally don´t like to use that word because I think that it´s mired in all sorts of different associations and doesn´t have a clear and useful meaning outside of particular traditions.  

 

I think the person that might best be able to shed light on your situation is @Spotless.

[manitou]

Personally, I think an enlightened opinion would be to have no opinion....

[BluLotus]

It sounds to me like you probably had an energetic opening, which happens a lot during meditation. (That doesn't mean the meditator has reached enlightenment.) The 'Seed of Life' could be something you're meant to practice in some way, which could be the reason you saw it in your vision. I'm guessing that the meditation stimulated the energy in your body, and the excess energy somehow created static electricity, which caused the paper to stick to your hand. It sounds to me like your energy might be in need of grounding, so it might be good to do some simple grounding practices and spend some time in nature. Good luck on your spiritual journey.

Edited October 8, 2019 by BluLotus