Cannibal

[Lost in Translation]

I've heard it said that a person must "exhaust the urge" to engage in negative action before they can turn around. This is another way of saying you must hit "rock bottom" in order to begin working back up.

 

About a month ago I hit rock bottom. I felt rage well up in me at something someone wrote. It was stupid, and not worth getting upset about, but it tore me up enough for me to "suspend" myself for about three weeks to give me time to cool down.

 

I'm glad I did that. It helped me see how foolish many of us have collectively been, are collectively being. I for one, don't enjoy being a cannibal. I suspect no one else here enjoys that either. None of us came here looking to tear each other apart. I encourage everyone who reads this to spend some time in reflection on this matter. Are you happy with the direction we're going? Can we learn from this? Can we grow from this? Can we be better?

 

I believe we can.

 

Let's give it a try.  Let's start today.

Edited March 9, 2019 by Lost in Translation

[Stosh]

I hope your weekend went well. 

Yeah, an attitude shift is in order for me as well.

Cannibalism has probably not been anyone's intent, not mine. I figure we each start out with fine intent but it goes awry. I find it pretty hard to remember though, moment to moment.

 

Edited March 11, 2019 by Stosh

[Stosh]

I need a good gimmick that will keep me on the path of righteousness. 

[rene]

30 minutes ago, Stosh said:

I need a good gimmick that will keep me on the path of righteousness. 

Good luck with that.

btw...which "righteous" path are you trying to stay on?

[Stosh]

3 minutes ago, rene said:

Good luck with that.

btw...which "righteous" path are you trying to stay on?

Keep my mouth shut more, for one,( rather than post that I don't see why someone should mess with the hawk being able to eat, or take man-woman advice from a gay dude. )

oops. 

I did like the two wolves pendant , but that may not be the right gimmick. 

Edited March 11, 2019 by Stosh

[rene]

3 minutes ago, Stosh said:

Keep my mouth shut more, for one,( rather than post that I don't see why someone should mess with the hawk being able to eat, or take man-woman advice from a gay dude. )

oops. 

I did like the two wolves pendant , but that may not be the right gimmick. 

The right 'gimmick' imo is being true to your nature, following your own path.. instead of what others think your path should be. If you're a wolf, be the best wolf you can be. If you're a worm, be the best worm you can be. True te, and true virtue, is to thine own self be true. If pendants help as a reminder...kewl beans

[ilumairen]

11 minutes ago, Stosh said:

Keep my mouth shut more, for one,( rather than post that I don't see why someone should mess with the hawk being able to eat, or take man-woman advice from a gay dude. )

oops. 

I did like the two wolves pendant , but that may not be the right gimmick. 

 

: laughing:

 

Stoshy-poo you can certainly write what ever snarkiness you'd like in regard to threads I've started or posts I've made. 

 

If you wanna talk about the hawk and squirrels just jump in. 

[Stosh]

2 minutes ago, rene said:

The right 'gimmick' imo is being true to your nature, following your own path.. instead of what others think your path should be. If you're a wolf, be the best wolf you can be. If you're a worm, be the best worm you can be. True te, and true virtue, is to thine own self be true. If pendants help as a reminder...kewl beans

well , sweetie pie , the fundamental problem with being true to your own nature is like this,either  1 )  we don't have one. or 2) we arent happy with the repercussions of being ourself. 

[Stosh]

15 minutes ago, ilumairen said:

 

: laughing:

 

Stoshy-poo you can certainly write what ever snarkiness you'd like in regard to threads I've started or posts I've made. 

 

If you wanna talk about the hawk and squirrels just jump in. 

In light of turning over 'new' leaves , I don't think you're a weenie. However , you were still making a virtue call , that the hawk doesn't deserve an equal seat at the tree. You value more the the doves and squirrels , but I have personally seen a squirrel , one by one , take baby cardinals out of a nest, and eat them one by one, ass end first like burritos ,while the adults chirped their little beaks off in protest. The world strikes a kind of balance if it is allowed , and half of that is the hawks way. 

 

Edited March 11, 2019 by Stosh

[Stosh]

Ok , now ya'll gals have gotten me to break my plan ..., I have to start all over, I need a gimmick.

Edited March 11, 2019 by Stosh

[ilumairen]

16 minutes ago, Stosh said:

In light of turning over 'new' leaves , I don't think you're a weenie. However , you were still making a virtue call , that the hawk doesn't deserve an equal seat at the tree. You value more the the doves and squirrels , but I have personally seen a squirrel , one by one , take baby cardinals out of a nest, and eat them one by one, ass end first like burritos ,while the adults chirped their little beaks off in protest. The world strikes a kind of balance if it is allowed , and half of that is the hawks way. 

 

 

I have to leave for work soon, and will come back to this. 

 

Just now, Stosh said:

Ok , now ya'll gals have gotten me to break my plan ..., I have to start all over, I need a gimmick.

 

 

[Pilgrim]

6 hours ago, Stosh said:

I hope your weekend went well. 

Yeah, an attitude shift is in order for me as well.

Cannibalism has probably not been anyone's intent, not mine. I figure we each start out with fine intent but it goes awry. I find it pretty hard to remember though, moment to moment.

 

I find it best to avoid the Trump Thread. That is one toxic waste dump.

[Stosh]

Just now, Pilgrim said:

I find it best to avoid the Trump Thread. That is one toxic waste dump.

Yep that's a good start , I found a lot interesting in there , but.. 

[Pilgrim]

40 minutes ago, Stosh said:

well , sweetie pie , the fundamental problem with being true to your own nature is like this,either  1 )  we don't have one. or 2) we arent happy with the repercussions of being ourself. 

Well Stoshy-poo, Hah! thats your new gimmick, he, he, he.

 

Back when we all thought Bill Cosby was a good guy and a comedian  he used to talk about a fella that told him how great it was to use cocaine.

 

The guy said it intensifies your personality.

 

To which Bill replied " Yeah but what if Your and asshole???

Spoiler

 

 

[Stosh]

12 minutes ago, Pilgrim said:

Well Stoshy-poo, Hah! thats your new gimmick, he, he, he.

 

Back when we all thought Bill Cosby was a good guy and a comedian  he used to talk about a fella that told him how great it was to use cocaine.

 

The guy said it intensifies your personality.

 

To which Bill replied " Yeah, but what if You're an asshole???

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

Yeah, back in the good-ol' days.. "bye bye miss american pie... "

It seems like there's no end to the pit now. 

I wonder if any other , or all generations,  had this steady erosion. 

Edited March 11, 2019 by Stosh

[Pilgrim]

1 hour ago, Stosh said:

Keep my mouth shut more, for one,( rather than post that I don't see why someone should mess with the hawk being able to eat, or take man-woman advice from a gay dude. )

oops. 

Well that is ironic on the surface and I laughed at that,  then realized you know we never know a persons background who is to say that they never had a Man Woman relationship and what choice did the fella have if he found out he preferred men? Could be his nature is mostly female, energetically and emotionally. 

 

I for one believe in reincarnation and what is to say all of what is coined gender dysphoria and homosexual is nothing more than many lifetimes being born the opposite gender and is now carrying forth in the current life? This makes more sense to me than anything else.

 

In my opinion I think it might be necessary to truly become complete and the transition must be hard..

[Stosh]

4 minutes ago, Pilgrim said:

Well that is ironic on the surface and I laughed at that,  then realized you know we never know a persons background who is to say that they never had a Man Woman relationship and what choice did the fella have if he found out he preferred men? Could be his nature is mostly female, energetically and emotionally. 

 

I for one believe in reincarnation and what is to say all of what is coined gender dysphoria and homosexual is nothing more than many lifetimes being born the opposite gender and is now carrying forth in the current life? This makes more sense to me than anything else.

 

In my opinion I think it might be necessary to truly become complete and the transition must be hard..

Dunno , I just get the idea that Luke has been 'playing for the other team' for a  long time. He's happy with it , and that's great.  nuff said. 

[liminal_luke]

1 hour ago, Stosh said:

Keep my mouth shut more, for one,( rather than post that I don't see why someone should mess with the hawk being able to eat, or take man-woman advice from a gay dude. )

 

As a resident gay dude, I should probably hold off writing that technical manual I´ve been mulling over on heterosexual sex positions.  I am, however, a human being and don´t live on an all-male clothes-optional tropical island.  I was raised by a mother and women continue to play key roles in my life, so I´m not entirely ignorant of male-female dynamics.  

 

Anyway, I´ll continue to share my perspective from time to time, wise or foolish though it may be.  My words are like the rain: you generally can´t stop a downpour but with a little planning you can avoid getting drenched.  May I suggest a sturdy black umbrella made by one of my favorite US companies, Ignore Inc..

[Stosh]

5 minutes ago, liminal_luke said:

 

As a resident gay dude, I should probably hold off writing that technical manual I´ve been mulling over on heterosexual sex positions.  I am, however, a human being and don´t live on an all-male clothes-optional tropical island.  I was raised by a mother and women continue to play key roles in my life, so I´m not entirely ignorant of male-female dynamics.  

 

Anyway, I´ll continue to share my perspective from time to time, wise or foolish though it may be.  My words are like the rain: you generally can´t stop a downpour but with a little planning you can avoid getting drenched.  May I suggest a sturdy black umbrella made by one of my favorite US companies, Ignore Inc..

You made a good point there, we do see other peoples relationships, make guesses and so forth, and some of those suppositions may be on-the-money. 

[rene]

1 hour ago, Stosh said:

well , sweetie pie , the fundamental problem with being true to your own nature is like this,either  1 )  we don't have one. or 2) we arent happy with the repercussions of being ourself. 

LOL sweetie pie 

 

Regarding your post - 

1) everyone has their own nature. How could they not?? It might be their own trueness has been covered up with years and/or layers of crap - and maybe it's easier for them to stay in other's expectations then break out... but even that is a choice, and they are doing what makes them happiest (even if that means they are miserable).

2) see above

[liminal_luke]

 

 

2 hours ago, Stosh said:

 I don't see why someone should mess with the hawk being able to eat 

 

1 hour ago, Pilgrim said:

 

I for one believe in reincarnation

 

Reading Stosh, it´s easy for me to imagine him as a hungry hawk in a past life.  Perhaps he met up with a previous incarnation of ilumairen sitting on her medieval front porch, and she shooed him away in a (misguided?) attempt to protect some daintier creature.  Centuries later, the conflict continues in a radically different guise.

Edited March 11, 2019 by liminal_luke

[rene]

45 minutes ago, liminal_luke said:

 

As a resident gay dude, I should probably hold off writing that technical manual I´ve been mulling over on heterosexual sex positions.  I am, however, a human being and don´t live on an all-male clothes-optional tropical island.  I was raised by a mother and women continue to play key roles in my life, so I´m not entirely ignorant of male-female dynamics.  

 

 

I enjoy your words, luke, very much and they've inspired me. This is hardly the time, place or thread for that matter to reveal something about myself - therefore it's the perfect time, place and thread. (-:

 

Unexplainably - I was born with male and female energies in perfect balance. As a child, I never felt "like a girl" or "like a boy"; I was just always Rene. Growing up, and still as an adult, I've never felt "like a woman" or "like a man". Physically, I am female. I'm attracted primarily to males but there was this one Lakota woman that...well... Even that, though, was not so much a sexual attraction - it was purely energetic. Thinking on it now - all powerful sexual pulls for me are energy-based rather than gender-based. So...it might be that way for others? Which ever 'gender' their birth-energy is determines which gender they identify with and/or are attracted to.  

 

Or, in my case of balanced male/female energies, it might be 'Both, same time' <---LOL now there's a new manifestation of that.

 

[Stosh]

45 minutes ago, liminal_luke said:

 

 

 

 

Reading Stosh, it´s easy for me to imagine him as a hungry hawk in a past life.  Perhaps he met up with a previous incarnation of ilumairen sitting on her medieval front porch, and she shooed him away in a (misguided?) attempt to protect some daintier creature.  Centuries later, the conflict continues in a radically different guise.

Dunno , but I hope I got to live it up pretty well that go-round. 

[liminal_luke]

38 minutes ago, rene said:

 

 This is hardly the time, place or thread for that matter to reveal something about myself - therefore it's the perfect time, place and thread. (-:

 

 

Thanks for sharing some about your personal experience, Rene.  Many prefer to remain more hidden, but I always appreciate it when Bums share stories from their lives; it´s nice to get to know people.  

 

Your story reminds me of a Zapchen coach I used to work with.  She told me of a past relationship that she had with another woman, and I always assumed she was a lesbian but later found out that wasn´t the case.  It was just that she had a strong energetic connection with another person who was physically female and just decided to go with it -- in spite of the fact that she was generally attracted to men.  Personally, it´s hard for me to imagine doing something analogous though I admire her flexibility and openness to life. 

 

Stosh is correct that I´ve long "played for the other team."  I awakened to my gayness around the age of twelve and have more or less stayed the course (although there was one interesting occasion when a female massage client of mine suggested we trade erotic bodywork).  While perhaps not the most masculine guy in the world, I´ve always felt like a man.  I don´t relate to the desire some gay men have to paint their nails and wear big wigs. I wish my apartment was tastefully decorated and that I had better taste in clothes.  Alas, that´s not the case.  I´m a gay man trapped, stylistically speaking, in a heterosexual man´s body.  

 

What amazes me is how different people are from each other.  There are so many different ways to relate to our sexual selves, to relate to our maleness and/or femaleness.  Everybody has their own story.  

 

 

Edited March 11, 2019 by liminal_luke

[Stosh]

So is this thread so far off track it needs a reboot , or no? Looking at the OP, I am not sure where it's supposed to go. 

Edited March 12, 2019 by Stosh