... Posted April 17, 2005 my heart center is my biggest problem. even in training, when I didnt practice, kundalini still shot up only to stop at the heart center, or 4th chakra. I dont really feel love. the only thing I think I 'love' is my parents dog and.... cat stevens music. all that buddhist shit, where you practice feeling compassion and love for all others.... I think thats bullshit... I would probably get off on it if I tried and did it... but I really dont want to. but, is this what I need to do to open my heart? right now... my most effective means of opening my heart.. (or at least I think it helps), is ...catharticism. (I think thats what it is called.. yeah pretty sure...) .. cat stevens, his music really opens me up to emotion. but... even THIS is questionnable! yes... will this help in the long run? as a taoist... I long for.... nothingness... emotion, I believe, as I take it from taoist text in which I hold alot of faith in.... emotion is a 'thief'. it is what robs me of my soul. when I feel this emotion... am I releasing it, or producing it? is this helping my heart center like I think it is? when I opened my heart center before...I still remember it... I was practicing diligently, hardly working and spending the whole of my day practicing. and even then, I think it opened only becuase I practiced once a week with a semi-powerful teacher (qualified student of ken cohen)... back then, I was listening to an assload of stevens... but can I credit that success with stevens? to the teacher? to the amount of practice I put in everyday? I remember... let me say... I had a crush on this girl in highschool, I was still a student... I was writing poetry... I was in a twist of emotion... I was truly the poet of the age at that time... I had never before experienced emotion like I did then.. of course it was all worked up in my head, but that didnt seem to matter....and it was not long after that my heart center opened. (in fact shortly after). Do I need to find a girl? I have read that it is important to love something external to the self to appease the 4th chakra. I have also been told (at HT board) that I should just breathe into it. I think that there is something more that needs to be done to the heart than get good qi circulation in there. I remember reading something by peter falk about his heart... I am going to wander through his threads... I have a bit of respect for you, peter man.... sorry for the incoherence for the post, I just type what I think as I think it, it seems... not so much a planned event.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GrandTrinity Posted April 17, 2005 bro, eat som ecstacy, that will open your heart... j/k i never did it before, andi i dont recommend it go to an awesome concert dance www.bigsummerclassic.com Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
... Posted April 17, 2005 I did ecstasy once...... and when you mention it that might actually work out well, from what I remember..... unfortunately I dont think thats going to happen, thanks for the suggestion.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peter falk Posted April 18, 2005 I remember reading something by peter falk about his heart... I am going to wander through his threads... I have a bit of respect for you, peter man.... man, i have been so sick in my heart lately. take a look at my6 latest blog entry. i need a cupla days off after that. one thing that becomes clearer and clearer over the years is taht the mainstream, common wisdom about emotions, which ones are approprieate at which times, who we owe them to, who they're for, why we feel them, is almost always (or at least usually) the opposite of reality. and the emotion they fuck with the most is compassion. that is a very very dangerous and complex trap. so i guess what i'm saying is dont look outisde yourself for these answers. there's a lot of well meaning dumbshits in the world with bad advice. they're great people, but they're still dumbshits and their advice is still bad. and that goes for me too! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
... Posted April 18, 2005 oh brother I have faith in ye, man. I dont believe compassion is the way to enlightenment. it might serve to open the heart... maybe, I dont know enough to say for sure anything, but I think it would open the heart... but at the expense of other things, you know? I will go through your blog.... I remember you tlked about being on a battlefield and shit... was that all like a psychedlic event or was it like a dream... i.e. thoughts can become pretty vivid in deep states of meditation, and I bet that might be just such a consequence. but you might know best.... maybe the answer lies in your blog and I missed it... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
... Posted April 19, 2005 oh, emotional garbage.. I dont think I have much... since the last time I opened up my heart, I havent had anything in the way of problems. basic training and medic school was a big drag, but Idont imagine any of that was more than temporary eh you know brother? hmmm I think I have got it, actually... I refuse to strive for emotion... if it comes I will let it take its course... but I will not go looking for it....in fact I will be cautious of it, probably.. but I was looking through the net.. and that "loving something external to the self" thing was pretty popular theme regarding 4th chakra. what I am doing is just feeling my chest expand out to fill all space around me. this way I am connecting my chest to all the external world... so while I am not connecting to it with a feeling of love and joy, I am still connecting to it. it is a feeling alot like the 7th chakra, but the 7th is a much more subtle feeling. I really dig this chakra shit. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
... Posted April 19, 2005 breathwork... I have been doing alot of that lately... deep breathing into dan tien. but I have not got into pranayama. I trhink I will try your excercise, and begin some neigung. you are right and you give an excellent suggestion, thank you Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peter falk Posted April 20, 2005 i remember asking tom brown jr. about chakras one time. he looked at me and said, "the spirit is infinite. why limit yourself to chakras?" the box i was in exploded and life has never been the same since........ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peter falk Posted April 22, 2005 yeah, of course thats a good point. i guess what i'm saying is to look for the explosion, not so much the method. in other words, dont get caught up in the method or the model. what you really want is the explosion. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
