The I of the storm

[dwai]

This is an article I wrote many years ago (11) during my early days of meditation. 

 

https://www.medhajournal.com/the-i-of-the-storm/

 

I strongly recommend for anyone who is struggling currently to persevere and do more studying of nondual texts, along with their regular meditation practice. It might help you resolve these sort of  “issues” sooner. 

[ilumairen]

3 hours ago, dwai said:

This is an article I wrote many years ago (11) during my early days of meditation. 

 

https://www.medhajournal.com/the-i-of-the-storm/

 

I strongly recommend for anyone who is struggling currently to persevere and do more studying of nondual texts, along with their regular meditation practice. It might help you resolve these sort of  “issues” sooner. 

 

Have the "two I's" reconciled?  Or perhaps more accurately, what does this look like for you today?

[Toni]

Nice text, thanks for sharing. Have you found out who is the observed or who is the observer? Sounds a bit scary

[Nungali]

5 hours ago, dwai said:

This is an article I wrote many years ago (11) during my early days of meditation. 

 

https://www.medhajournal.com/the-i-of-the-storm/

 

I strongly recommend for anyone who is struggling currently to persevere and do more studying of nondual texts, along with their regular meditation practice. It might help you resolve these sort of  “issues” sooner. 

 

Good article. Several things  arose for me while reading it . Mostly I was reminded of a similar effect ( which I have written about here a few times.  It was a result of a long term practice done 4 times a day; dawn, noon, sunset and midnight. For most, this means  the sleep cycle is usually interrupted, usually  by the midnight one .

 

So I would set my clock, it would go off I wake up do the practice and after go back to sleep. After some time I am waking up just before the alarm. Feeling smug with myself, I no longer need to set the alarm and am self impressed, as each night somehow awaken automatically and look at the clock  - 2 minutes to 12 .

 

But after a while I wake in the morning ( to do the dawn practice ) and I cant remember if I woke at midnight and did a practice then or not.   So I used to leave a note for myself. There was some confusion about old notes at one stage so I started dating them ; '

 

After a while I would awake at dawn and have  no memory whatsoever of the midnight practice, yet there is a note on the bedside table , in my hand, dated  for last night saying I did the practice. .

 

I do remember being up at midnight and thinking ' Right !  You are awake,    < pinch >  , you are fully conscious, you are NOT sleepwalking ( and doing things to prove that to myself ) and thinking , I hope that idiot in the morning remembers this .  Sometimes the note would detail these activities and that , when read, would stimulate the memory, other times it was as if someone had written it and made it all up - no memory.

 

Then, in the day time I would wonder, who is this person ( or what pert of my psyche ) that automatically gets up at midnight and does the meditation that my day self has no memory of .    .... and also,  who is this person walking around in the day time, that cannot remember the magical acts of its self the night before .

 

This leads on to even more ' 'self s' ,  but that might be a bit beyond what we are talking about here  - most cant deal with that concept  ( it would fall under the 'Hierarchy of beings' theory)

 

[Then again there is another possibly ; when I posted this before Apech said HE had been snaking in forging those notes    )

 

Regarding the set of 3   ( self observer and observations  ) this is one way of looking at the Supernal triad in Kabbalah - how 'God' or 'consciousness' came into being .;

 

First there is the 'point'   pure awareness of existence  with no form or substance .  Being  self aware, it must be able to reflect on itself , or, there is the self or point and there is the point or selfs Idea about itself   , a slightly different and second thing.    These two come together to for certain conclusions - the result of that reflection, this is the third thing and makes the non existent first principle triad.

 

Like in everything I practice, I want to see a  material or natural expression of it ( ie. in nature or a value to myself ) . The principle of three ( with extensions to 4 ) is invaluable . It permeates all creation  and natural laws   ( because we  live in 3 dimensions ?  - with the extension of time through 4th ).

 

In ceremonies rites and initiations, the BEST way to learn about them and have the full experience, and this also applies to martial arts techniques, is to 1. watch .  2, have it 'done to you' .  3 . Do it yourself .

 

Of course, through all this multiple selves selves stuff an anchor or central self is required . - in Magick, it is the magician as King with crown wand and sword (of his own 'Empire' . In Exo-psychology, it is the master controller - neuro electric circuit .

 

That is the 'eye of the storm'   - a nice stable place to be  ... when all around can be  swirling roaring vortex

 

This bit :

 

"  But this is a very painful process and something inside doesn't like it. When I ask my teacher about it, he tells me to be patient with myself and not get attached to the observation. If there are flaws in the self (that become evident), then my job is to start working to eliminate them (with compassion ) . "

 

Indeed !  Working with them .    A big fault I have seen in magical practice is people eliminating or trying to destroy them  - not the 'flaws' but the 'carriers'  or, if one can handle such concepts ,  'the  beings that inhabit and constitute us .

 

Anyway. I have written a lot about this elsewhere, so I won;t repeat it here .

 

I had a physical practice I used to like to do which was very " I  of the storm " .  If I was  feeling a bit beat, or finding it hard to cope with pressure, or just annoyed by the chatter, I would go down to the river rapids and throw myself in, get swirled around and eventually find on of the still points, in a whirl pool of water. in a depth up  to my hara, sitting in lotus on the sand , or standing on the bottom. Everything would be swirling and pulling around me, but if I remained calm and still, in that one point, all was stable. As soon as I would move from that centre ... whoosh! carried away by the current .  

 

 

[Everything]

Yeah ego is good, just when you focus on thoughts which lessen your consciousness and limit your consciousness, because these thoughts are in contradiction with all that you truely are being and becoming evermore, in freedom and joy, then you feel bad, which is good cause you need to be aware of it to stop doing that, and so you meditate, let go of all thought, because that's simply easy, and you also let go of these resistant energetic self contradictory thought patterns, and voila, you feel good again. And you think freely again, in harmony with your true being of freedom and joy. So you feel good again, you are inspired again, you are capable of flowing the fullness of all that you truely are through you, for the purpose of being, doing or having whatever you want. Of your ever more greater allowed realisation of your evermore greater allowed being and becoming, of all that you truely are being and becoming, of all your true freedom and joy, of evermore allowed freedom and joy.

 

I don't understand how so many teachers have the patience to repeat the same thing over and over again, I mean it feels good when I do it every single time, but because I feel like this truely needs to be repeated over and over again. It's really strange. You should be becoming absolutely mad to keep repeating the same thing, and get the same result, every single time, and love it every single time, so you can't get mad!! ARGH! It just, service is awfull, it's full of awe. you don't get mad, cause you fcking love to enlighten people to how simple it is to become enlightened by simply lightening up on yourself by lightening up on all the insistence of and for all of this unnecessary complexity. Garbage, boom. Out of the way. Gone... Poof. Done, away. Let go and be free, to be, who it is you truely are. By focusing your mind consistently on a rats ass, for all I care... Why? Because no one gives a rats ass! Meditation has never been the point. The point has always been to allow yourself to be all that is who it is and what it is that you truely are being and becoming of the moreness of evermore freedom and joy, evermore. And ongoingly more. For that is who you truely are being and becoming, evermore. So might aswell allow it, and enjoy it. Right? Free to be me. Who it is I truely am.

 

 

And ofcourse you're suppose to feel good. Like what, you think eternity is going to feel bad? Don't you think that's a little retarded? Well? Don't you? Cause it's A LONG FCKING TIME TO FEEL BAD DON'T YOU THINK?  Who ever the fck teaches you to endure pain, they've completely lost their mind! Unless they believe, for whatever reason, that it will feel better for you to do so. So in a sense, they want you to not be afraid of pain, why? Maybe because they experienced something like "I am so afraid of pain that I denied it, and hid my pain away, so now I want people to enjoy the feeling of pain, so that they can receive the value of knowing what they are doing with their own energy, of when they feel bad emotionally, because they are doing something that doesn't serve them. They need to feel that? How else are they ever gonna allow themselves to feel good, and realise their evermore greater being and becoming evermore of all that they truely are in ever expanding freedom and joy otherwise? Oh god... Better teach them meditation in a way also integrate their ability to allow themselves to accept all that they truely are, and make sure they feel their emotional heart guidance feeling. As clearly as possible. Always. Otherwise they're gonna do many stupid things and regret it and live an awful life experience."

 

So you say what? "Ok, good for you man, not my problem, now get the fck out of here, I'm gonna feel good and be myself. whoever the fk I wanna be."

 

 

Ah... Just go home. Man, I don't understand how teachers don't absolutely fcking lose their mind. God forgive me, for all of the patience I have incurred upon those innocent souls... Oh god... So many of them.... Those poor fcking teachers...  

 

 

[dwai]

6 hours ago, ilumairen said:

 

Have the "two I's" reconciled?  Or perhaps more accurately, what does this look like for you today?

It so turned out that there were no “two I’s” anyway.  

The one I that was, has always been and will always be.

 

It was just a case of not knowing what that real “ I”  (witness) was. It is that way with most folks it seems. 

 

The ego (who claims doership) is just a process. The observer and the observation are essentially the same ...like the sun and it’s light. 

 

 

 

[Everything]

3 hours ago, dwai said:

It so turned out that there were no “two I’s” anyway.  

The one I that was, has always been and will always be.

 

It was just a case of not knowing what that real “ I”  (witness) was. It is that way with most folks it seems. 

 

The ego (who claims doership) is just a process. The observer and the observation are essentially the same ...like the sun and it’s light. 

 

 

 

Yeah you are your creation, as it happens through you. So essentially you are also literally made out of the same consciousness. You are simply loving your self from all the different points of view that you have of yourself.  That in no way is limitted to greater allowed realisation of human nature alone. We can also always understand our relationship to and with and through the being we call planet earth. And the cosmos aswell.  Or even all of creation, physical and non-physical, always better if those are hand in hand.  Co blended and harmonized, indicated by the state of feeling love. So we do integrate these two, cause that is the work. To just be all that you truely are being and becoming evermore, in ever expanding freedom and joy and love. And all the more of all of that.

 

And when you feel like you can't take it anymore, like eternity is too much, being in the moreness of here and now is too much, again, just breath in and breath out, because that is meditation, it helps you release these self-contradictory thought patterns which function as energetic resistance lessening your consciousness. So it is important to feel the negative emotion aswell, to allow it to come back to full realisation, and feel good again. By releasing resistance. And relaxing into it. You don't relax into those negative limitting thought patterns, that's a self contradictory statement. That's like saying "I'm gonna relax into this state of immense straing and stress and tension, and relax into my anger." That is why it is so important to feel your heart as you are meditating. To remind yourself, that you are thinking those thoughts that feel bad, when you are not meditating. For meditation is simply a releasing of all thought, relaxing into your greater nature of being, by releasing those thoughts of fear or guilt or hate or blame, or whatever you wanna call all those energetic thought patterns of resistance, which simply dissapear, when you consistently focus on anything, like a sound or sight, or breath, or mantra which often don't mean anything, designed to also not mean anything, just for the experience of sound, so you let go and allow your greater nature to naturally come forth again.

 

For those thought patterns which don't serve you, do so THROUGH YOUR TRUE NATURE. The negative emotion is of your own true being and energy of ever being and becoming. So when you focus on them, they expand, and you feel painful, yet you keep doing it? Ofcourse it's gonna be painful. You gotta focus on something else, that is neutral, like a consistent sound, or anything you can focus consistently upon, so you don't get thrown into the turbulence of your chaotic thoughts and empower the chaos by feeding it your attention and awareness. So you simply focus on something consistently, for if you can focus atleast 20 seconds, WITHOUT any interuption, so you focus HARD and with FULL PASSION AND your TRUE ABILITY TO FOCUS, on ONE THING, one sound, one sight, one vision, doesn't matter what, so you relax your mind. naturally, as you do that. And your true nature naturally comes forth again.

 

And that is the benefit of meditation, for it allows one to come back to full realisation of all that they truely are being and becoming evermore, in full freedom and joy, evermore, no matter what the conditions of your life are. No matter how painful or stressful. The meditation always dissolves all of that. So it is a wonderful tool technique and permission slip we can use, truely always all inclusive, to not fear those thought patterns of resistance, but simply let them go, and appreciate the fear for its an accurate indication of how you are flowing your own consciousness into the moreness of that which is in contradiction with its own true nature of being.

 

and that is what will relax you into greater allowed realisation of all that you truely are being and becoming evermore. And know, the fear is just plain stupid, always. So always care about how you feel, and love yourself, and know you always deserve to feel good, no matter what, unconditionally, meaning under any and all conditions. You deserve to feel good, always here and now. For if you didn't deserve to feel good, if your nature was one which does not deserve to feel good, your nature would also not be one which wants to feel good. For you want to feel good, because you truely are suppose to feel good. Atleast way more of the time if not all of the time. For that is your true value also to all of creation, to be who it is you truely are being and becoming evermore.

 

So you breath and focus on your breath consistently... Or a sound or sight. Or even imagine sound or sight, so you feel like you always contain this ability to meditate within you. And you feel like you truely are in control and you truely can choose what to think and when not to think and when to let go of thoughts which don't serve you. So you control how you feel. And when you do, you will always allow yourself to feel good, by simply letting go of all of that which block your good feeling. By focusing your mind on a distraction like a mantra, so you let go and allow your true nature more fully and freely, and restore your greater connection with your greater knowing you always have acces to. For the sole purpose of feeling good, so that you can be inspired, and clear minded again, to be all that it is who you truely are being and becoming evermore. And then you will simply laugh, at yourself, for even thinking or believing all those nonesensical self contradictory, none essential irrelevant to you, things.

 

And then you will appreciate that your EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE SYSTEM HAS AND WILL ALWAYS BE WORKING PERFECTLY. and you ALWAYS GOT YOUR ABILITY TO FEEL ENERGY IN MOTION as EMOTION, and always be capable of FULLY RELATING to your very own greater non-physical consciousness of all that you truely are being and becoming, in evermore freedom and joy. All you gotta do, is allow that, and stop blocking it with any thoughts which don't feel good. So that you can finally again be who you truely are, and feel good, because that is always what you truely want to be doing, because that is always who you truely already are. So you allow your greater nature to naturally come forth ever so much more fully. By letting go and allowing all of that which you truely are being and becoming, that you can always feel and understand it through your ability to truely feel the aligned harmonic resonance of and with it and through it and you as one and the same, evermore in co-harmonized blending, physical and non-physical hand in hand, as your evermore being and becoming evermore as the TOTAL YOU of all that you TRUELY ARE being and becoming evermore, in and as and of the evermore of your evermore freedom and joy and love and knowledge and clarity and passion, and appreciation and all these emotional indicators that indicate a harmonic blending and synchronising and allowing and alignment and greater more fuller allowed realisation of being and becoming, evermore along the natural path of least resistance, of all the ways that existance has of coming to know itself from all the different points of view that all of you are, of infinite and eternal ever expanding value evermore, and unconditional worthiness evermore, expanding into all the conditions of your evermore greater allowed being and becoming all your evermore greater allowed more fuller realisations of all that you truely are being and becoming evermore in greater allowed realisation of all your evermore expanding freedom and joy.

 

Hope that helps, and really, how easy is it to meditate, and how effective and how rewarding. It brings everything into harmony. Because it helps you to ALLOW everything to naturally come back into full harmony. Evermore.

Edited July 22, 2019 by Everything

[neti neti]

The observed is of the quality of the observer. Observation is as per the observing... as is the eye, so shall be the vision.

 

Is one confined to the defined 'I' of one's storm, a distinct locality? Limited to what that 'I' perceives as 'me' and 'mine'?

 

Or is one, in reality, the 'eye' of all 'eyes'? 

 

Edited July 23, 2019 by neti neti

[dwai]

 

31 minutes ago, neti neti said:

Or is one, in reality, the 'eye' of all 'eyes'? 

 

 

[rideforever]

On 23/07/2019 at 6:11 AM, neti neti said:

Or is one, in reality, the 'eye' of all 'eyes'?

 

Well are you ?   Can you look through other people's eyes ?
Just be honest.
Can you look through other people's eyes ?
No ... 
Well then you are not the eye of all eyes, you might be in deep harmony with the centre, but you are not the centre.   The centres looks through all eyes, but that is something you can't do.

 

On 22/07/2019 at 12:00 AM, Everything said:

Yeah ego is good, just when you focus on thoughts which lessen your consciousness and limit your consciousness, because these thoughts are in contradiction with all that you truely are being and becoming evermore, in freedom and joy, then you feel bad, which is good cause you need to be aware of it to stop doing that, and so you meditate, let go of all thought,

 

This is true, but as you see it is only a temporary solution ... you say this because you still have thoughts.   There is a permanent solution to the problem which is that instead of letting go of what is false (your unconscious thought stream) you embody your true centre.  Only then will the thoughts actually stop.   Embody means you feel inside the true centre and you merge into it.

 

On 21/07/2019 at 10:22 PM, Nungali said:

First there is the 'point'   pure awareness of existence  with no form or substance .  Being  self aware, it must be able to reflect on itself , or, there is the self or point and there is the point or selfs Idea about itself   , a slightly different and second thing.    These two come together to for certain conclusions - the result of that reflection, this is the third thing and makes the non existent first principle triad.

 

Yes you begin to feel inside the subtle inner structure.   However you then refer it to some alchemical concepts about triads but those concepts are not necessary.   

Sensing the subtle inner structure of your identity is what you want.

With small experiments.

 

 

Well, perhaps it is true that few have need of such knowledge.

What is needed is to die into the self-light.

What more is needed, to do such a thing on this planet is a mercy beyond mercy.

What is loved ?  Is it not the self-light ?
What is the I, is it not the self-light ?
What is of value except the self-light ?
Let it take you, and let go.

 

Edited July 24, 2019 by rideforever

[neti neti]

7 hours ago, rideforever said:

Well are you ?   Can you look through other people's eyes ?
Just be honest.
Can you look through other people's eyes ?
No ... 
Well then you are not the eye of all eyes, you might be in deep harmony with the centre, but you are not the centre.   The centres looks through all eyes, but that is something you can't do.

 

Yes, I am and yes, I can. How could I not? This facet of consciousness is exactly identical in nature to yours. The apparent differences can be owed to the degree in which each facet makes use of its capital.

 

I see your striving to speak in dimensions of the dimensionless. I see your culprit of other-ness projecting its delusion as if it were mine. I see your restlessness and contention aims only to finally, once and for all, prove yourself wrong. I see your clouding of the reality of our painfully obvious one-ness. I see your doubt, and, if only for a moment, I see it dissolving as you read these words.

 

The observer intent upon any lasting satisfaction by truth which can be told, is destined for disappointment.

 

There seems to be looking, but really, there's no eye(s). Just one 'I'. No-two, and for that matter, no-one.

 

Being the center of every-where, is to say I am the center of no-where. No centre(s). Just me, whatever that is.

 

And btw, I ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH...

 

Edited July 24, 2019 by neti neti

[rideforever]

7 hours ago, neti neti said:

Yes, I am and yes, I can.

 

That's great, I am very happy to hear it.

So then, what am I looking at now ?

 

[Everything]

55 minutes ago, rideforever said:

 

That's great, I am very happy to hear it.

So then, what am I looking at now ?

 

You are looking at your own true power, of who you truely are.

[neti neti]

13 hours ago, rideforever said:

 

That's great, I am very happy to hear it.

So then, what am I looking at now ?

 

 

I cannot, nor do I desire to witness whatever photons enter your eyeballs to tell you what you're perceiving.

 

Such things may be possible with training, but don't amount to much more than parlor tricks imho. You seem thoroughly convinced by this grand hall of mirrors. I however am my biggest skeptic. Do you believe your reflections have any substance apart from yourself?

 

There's only one vision, and that which observes is multifaceted. But I can't see what you see in that sense. Your private world is quite your own. Unique in that you've specially tailored it to suit your deepest desires. Any mail of "yours" is only forwarded to "me" as "needed". 

 

We're engaged on a journey in which we wouldn't dream of violating each other's privacy...and yet, there's no such thing as secrets.

Edited July 25, 2019 by neti neti

[neti neti]

In observing oneself, the observer observes all.

[neti neti]

How does one see without eyes?

[rideforever]

How can you know yourself without observing ?

[ilumairen]

10 hours ago, rideforever said:

 

That's great, I am very happy to hear it.

So then, what am I looking at now ?

 

 

:raises hand:

 

You were looking at a screen when you typed and sent those words. 

 

:sorry, could have resisted, didn't want to: 

[silent thunder]

13 hours ago, rideforever said:

 

That's great, I am very happy to hear it.

So then, what am I looking at now ?

 

 

at the one

[rideforever]

2 hours ago, ilumairen said:

You were looking at a screen when you typed and sent those words.

 

This is an honest answer and clever one.

And it is in that spirit that an intelligent spirituality can occur.

How many people are simple enough to simply answer a question.

 

In fact I was not looking at the screen, because I ensured I looked at another object whilst my hands were typing the question.

And the reason I did that is that I am asking a real question, perhaps neti neti knew better than me and could see through my eyes after all ... but it seems not.

And so it seems that my idea is more likely to be correct.

An awakened person is not the One, and this can be demonstrated because such a person does not see through everyone's eyes.   An awakened person reaches a kind of merging or bonding with the One, only.

 

Edited July 25, 2019 by rideforever

[neti neti]

2 hours ago, rideforever said:

How can you know yourself without observing ?

 

Just knowing you are suffices.

[neti neti]

5 minutes ago, rideforever said:

 

This is an honest answer and clever one.

And it is in that spirit that an intelligent spirituality can occur.

How many people are simple enough to simply answer a question.

 

In fact I was not looking at the screen, because I ensured I looked at another object whilst my hands were typing the question.

And the reason I did that is that I am asking a real question, perhaps neti neti knew better than me and could see through my eyes after all ... but it seems not.

And so it seems that my idea is more likely to be correct.

An awakened person is not the One, and this can be demonstrated because such a person does not see through everyone's eyes.   An awakened person reaches a kind of merging or bonding with the One, only.

 

 

An answer is within each question.

 

An object demands a subject.

 

Only you say I'm awakened.

 

Every idea is false.

[rideforever]

7 minutes ago, neti neti said:

Just knowing you are suffices.

 

Yes, it suffices.

But still how do you know yourself with out the observer ?   
What is the means or mechanism ?

For instance you observe a cat.  Is this how you know you are ?
 

[neti neti]

15 minutes ago, rideforever said:

 

Yes, it suffices.

But still how do you know yourself with out the observer ?   
What is the means or mechanism ?

For instance you observe a cat.  Is this how you know you are ?
 

 

Your being is an open fact, without question. You exist prior to your very own direct experience, obviously, else the question could never be posed. Investigation does not apply.

 

Beyond the mental sphere, we can only admit to encroach upon the noblest story of speechlessness. As the sole subject, your observation of objects can only reveal that which you are Not.

Edited July 25, 2019 by neti neti

[neti neti]

We enjoy wandering, and rarely stay put where all questions are meaningless.