Intro

[Radix]

Hello Friends,

This is my first post. I wanted to join thedaobums in the hope of possibly making some new friends and contacts, as well as engage in some good discussions about the site's many interesting topics. I've been a "lurker" for a while, and I have found this forum to be the most dynamic, eclectic and diverse of the several that I have belonged to which deal with related topics (dharmawheel and some esoteric forums). 

Anyway, my background is itself eclectic, and I'm increasingly having a difficult time fitting myself into a label, without, at the same time, being able or desirous of "rejecting" anything that I may have identified with in the past. On the whole, I think this is a good thing, as I see a major goal of the spiritual path as being able to transcend labels and "identities." At the same time, I'm finding it quite uncomfortable. It's like a man having 3 or 4 families which don't know or acknowledge each other, each of whom he loves deeply as "part of himself"; he is unable to live with any of them all the time, but unable to part with any of them in an absolute sense; at the same time, he has a sense that what he is truly seeking lies outside the very category of "family" (if this metaphor makes sense). 

With this in mind, I'm reluctant to call myself a "Buddhist," or "not a Buddhist," a "Christian," or "not a Christian," a "Taoist," or "not a Taoist," etc. Over the past five years, I've been deeply immersed in the Western Esoteric Tradition, particularly centred around the ideas of Renaissance magi such as Agrippa, Dee, Bruno, the Rosicrucians, as well as Swedenborg, Boehme and the (non-Blavatskian) Western Theosophical tradition, while also finding many limitations  in their points of view and needing to supplement this with study of the more metaphysical traditions of the East--Buddhism, Taoism and Trika Shaivism. But then increasingly I can't find what I'm seeking in any one of these traditions to the exclusion of others. I see them all, perhaps, as "upayas": skillful means to lead deluded beings to liberation. Despite all the arguments I have read and participated in over the philosophical subtleties of what precisely this "liberation" entails, I still naturally incline to this general universalistic view.

I'm fond of Crowley (again while acknowledging his limitations), and I think that he was on to something (inspired) by his realization that one needed to break through externally imposed labels, restrictions, and identities and discover one's own "Holy Guardian Angel" in order to truly move forward. I think he was mistaken on many levels, but this idea that one needs to, as it were, make one's own tradition (in his case, Thelema) rings true for me, personally. If one doesn't, one is more or less the victim of centuries/millennia of historical and scholastic traditions which may have nothing to do with one's real quest. I know how much he suffered (and made others to suffer) in pursuing this ideal, however. Still, in a sense I consider myself a "independent Thelemite"--"independent" because I do not consider AC's personal revelations,  mythos or ideas regarding the different Aeons (interesting as they may be) as binding on anyone other than himself. I think it could be argued that there is a "thelema," properly understood, hidden within each if the world's great religious/spiritual traditions, including Christianity and Islam (vide Corbin). I also disagree with Crowley regarding the importance of compassion and even pity; the Bodhisattva ideal is one of the most noble and glorious conceptions that I am aware of.

Practically, I have more and more withdrawn from outward religious rites and turned towards silent, objectless meditation. The other, more active side of my spiritual practice involves Bardonian Hermetics, and a sort of streamlined angelic theurgy. Still, I feel like I've been stagnating for some time and I feel a strong need to break new ground. This is why I have increasingly turned towards the possibilities of astral projection (or "journeying") as a means of contacting higher Wisdom beings to help me move forward. My abilities are still weak at best. In this connection, the recent discovery of Qigong and energy work in general has been a great help. 

I never talk about this stuff to anyone. The anonymity of this site encourages me to share in the hope of finding like minded fellow-travelers. This is the reason I have written this long and regrettably egotistical post. I am what we might call "esoterically isolated," outwardly living a workaday life with a family, and without any associates beyond two or three distant contacts. I got "burned out" long ago on spiritual organazations and groups, and prefer the way of the hermit, at least until circumstances shift and other possibilities arise (I can't rule it out). Still, I am looking forward to hopefully learning and sharing whatever I can with friends here.

Thanks :-)

[sean]

Fascinating intro @Radix — welcome. 👋

[Nintendao]

That’s amazing, Radix. May your journey bear the brightest of fruits.

[Ancestor Paul]

You're welcome my friend, you'll love it here. It's only been weeks since I joined and its like a treasure trove of knowledge and bright minds here. As for not knowing how to define your self, you should take your time, you have time, know that you are immortal and ever changing so your identity might change totally in the future as you accumulate knowledge. You could consider creating your own label for thyself as you come off as an eclectic and might not need to fit into one that already exists, but at the end of the day we have freedom to do as thy please. Happy treasure hunting my friend.

[Radix]

Thanks, friends, for the warm welcome 

[Mskied]

I was initiated on a spiritual level into Thelema (did you know that word is actually in the New Testament?)

 

At first I was eager to participate because this guidance came from a Divine source, but after I got involved, I started to see that it was absolutely not me- and yet, here I was actively being initiated.  I too disagree with Crowley.  It took  a decade and a half to find my way back to compassion, but the Gods that be would not let me feel empathy any longer.  The suffering path has destroyed that side of me.  Now all I can do is bemoan the plight of the world and the people in it, often sitting in awe struck silence that we don't complain about our condition and environment more- but that is our nature as humans- good will and hope.

 

 

[Radix]

Mskied,

That is very interesting!

 

When you say, "I was initiated on a spiritual level into Thelema," do you mean that you were initiated into the OTO? For what it's worth, I think "Crowleyanity" should be separated from the Law of Thelema, which is simply, "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. Love is the Law, love under will." In my opinion this is simply a latter-day formulation of the esoteric core of every religion, and so I never found it necessary to "convert to Thelema" and adopt AC as the last--or even secondaryor tertiary--word on anything. Still, I do find some real value in AC's writings, taken with a grain of salt. I find much of his stuff quite an enjoyable way to spend a spare hour here and there--the "Autohagiography," for instance. Of course, I didn't actually read Crowley until I was 40, and I think that, coming to his work after having lived a little, rather than as a naive young man (as many do), I have been able to read with a critical eye and discern the good from the useless.