How do I get rid of these sensations?

[Walker]

I am seriously starting to suspect that Everything is just a troll bot.

 

@Everything: PLEASE SWEETLY ENDEAVOR TO AT THE VERY FUCKING LEAST PASS THE TURING TEST! Heavens to Betsy. 

 

[Tryingtodobetter]

17 hours ago, Earl Grey said:

 

If this is sarcasm, it's not funny. If this is serious, Free Will of course, but you sound quite childish throwing a tantrum rather than someone who is willing to put in the work without expecting immediate results since it's a lifelong process. 

It's not sarcasm. I'm not a sarcastic person.

 

If you read my response previous to that I stated that the previous remedies suggested have done nothing to alleviate the situation/symptom I've outlined throughout the post, I'm not expecting immediate results- I was expecting progress/lessening of the symptom. If what I've outlined in this post is lifelong- though I doubt that amongst other things, as I stated I will kill myself in a sound manner at the first opportunity

 

I specified nuances of this situation and I've seen little to nothing on the internet about people experiencing similar

[Tryingtodobetter]

17 hours ago, Earl Grey said:

 

If this is sarcasm, it's not funny. If this is serious, Free Will of course, but you sound quite childish throwing a tantrum rather than someone who is willing to put in the work without expecting immediate results since it's a lifelong process. 

Also, I would appreciate if you could specify what part of my reaction to the symptom I outlined in this post that I experience at nearly all times during waking hours is childish, for clarity

[Everything]

11 hours ago, Tryingtodobetter said:

Also, I would appreciate if you could specify what part of my reaction to the symptom I outlined in this post that I experience at nearly all times during waking hours is childish, for clarity

I tried suicide aswell, but when you succeed, as I did, you will realise what true freedom is. And then you will also finally open up to your inner knowing, that you do not need to kill yourself, in order to be the freedom that you already are and always have been and always will be allowing yourself to be and become evermore here and now. 

It is just that when you finally ACT with the BELIEVE that you are going to kill yourself. And so you do. But then you do not die. But you also no longer care about the conditions of your life. Why? Because you already said goodbye. So now, you come back into alignment with your own soul, your inner knowing, that we all have acces to. And it is eternal and infinite and ever expanding and wise, and it is the source of your being and it is your life force. 

Now you can be do or have anything you want. 

And you always say "I love life! I want to be in this body so much. Ofcourse I am here, because now I understand everything! And now I realise I always had acces to this knowledge, if only I knew the difference between allowing myself acces to my own greater knowing, feeling very good emotionally, and not allowing my self acces to my own greater knowing, feeling very bad emotionally."

And ofcourse an easy way to learn how to release resistance and tap in to your soul or greater knowing. As meditation can help you do that in a matter of minutes. As meditation is literally the exact same thing as suicide. You simply let go of the self contradictory believe. And so you naturally effortlessly (no action required) allow your greater knowing to flow more fully through you again, and now you feel good and you know what you want. You have found it. And you have allowed your realisation of it. You full realisation of it. As real as stick and stones. Physical manifestational realisation. Real reality observable tangle touchable realisation of what you want. As the relief you seek, it is LITERALLY there in your life. It is in your beingness. And it is so, because you allowed to come to you or be realised by you. 

 

However, you already have always had the source of your well being, here and now, always with you. As you can feel your relativity to it, emotionally. Your relationship with it. God does not say to you, "Son, I disagree with you." You know why? Because God loves you unconditionally, and Knows ALL is well. So you are inseperable from God. And so, you don't need words. You need to FEEL or SENSE your connection, your relatively allowed or lesser allowed connection, as your emotions. To help you EFFORTLESSLY understand what the source of your being knows about you, here and now. 

 

So if you say, my life sucks, you feel negative emotion. Because the Source of your being has a different perspective about that. And since you are inseperable extension of your source of being, you cannot help but feel bad, or painful uncomfortable negative emotion, when you say that your life sucks. When you create discord between you and your source of being. And if that discord is allowed to continue, it gains momentum and turns to painful life conditions. Negative life conditions such as pain or discomfort or disease. It's just a lack of ease you see... If you did not do anything to disallow it, it would be there. But you don't disallow on purpose. You disallow your own source of well being, because it's simply law of momentum. You are used to doing it, the ability to do it gains momentum=power. It becomes easier to continue to do it, and so... Now allowing the source of your well-being is difficult. 

 

So I am here to remind you, you can unlearn those habbits, easily, by meditating. You know why? It is not easy to go from negative thought, to all of a sudden shift to positive thought. Nearly no human can do that. So let there be seperation between your suffering and your relief. By releasing all thought, meditating, and allowing your natural well-being. To find the answer again, more easily. Feeling your way to it. As now, you can see, the problem is the source of the solution. A new solution unlike any before. You have pain, you want relief. Then focus on the relief that you seek. And hold your focus consistently on the idea of relief and what that could be. Let it come to you through the natural path of least resistance that is of momentum of your focused thought about relief. And you will find relief can not only relief you from this pain, but FROM ALL SUFFERING. FOREVER. You can feel so good and still feel better, and you can come to know source perspective of and about everything and anything. 

 

You see, your soul knows the relief you seek, and knows exactly where you are in relationship to it and your path of least resistance to it. But it takes long, if you have allot of resistance to the relief that you seek. So when you meditate, and you think no thought, you release all resistant thought, and now, your energy path is open and clear, and you can receive the FULL realisation of the relief that you seek, VERY QUICKLY. You know why? Because you have no thought, no assumption, you do not think how it will come, you allow it come how it will really come, which is always the way you want it to come, or how it is suppose to come. You leave all of your expectations behind and you offer 0 resistance to the natural path of least resistance. That is why meditation is identical to dying, without the unintended self harm, that you insist you need (which you don't) with the idea of suicide. So insistence is resistance, just like dying is meditation, and self harm is always resistance, because you want relief. And sometimes pain can offer temporary distraction from suffering, but meditation reliefs ALL SUFFERING. No difference. It's simply a releasing of resistance. Like letting your self fall in love, unconditionally, forevermore, with the source of all creation, of all well being. And wellness. And if that is the case, you can go from 0 to hero in a matter of seconds. Because you ALLOW yourself to be naturally and effortlessly redefined by virtue of your own inner being or your soul. It is easy and effortless. 

 

And you can do it, it's very easy. Meditation is very easy, as simple as focus. And focusing on relief, is easy aswell, but especially if you want it! And you want it more than anyone! So guess who is most capable of focusing on relief and realising relief. Me or you? YOU! YOU WANT RELIEF! And so in just a matter of focused time on relief, you will be telling me what relief truely is. What freedom truely is. Cause you have got more relief in your soul, that is available for you right here and now. That you can even allow yourself to receive the relief that all of humanity has asked for, on behalf of them. Without even needing to teach it. You become the relief. By holding your attention on it long enough, that you allow yourself to realise it. So what you do, is you let the pain die, and you live with relief. And then you realise the pain has never been a real thing. It's just temporary result of temporary resistance, that you can ALWAYS easily and effortlessly let go of. And allow your natural well-being or relief, or your natural knowingness or life force, or soul, or ever refreshing replenishing good feeling energy motional emotional indication of allowancw of true natural and effortless well-beingness.

And you can expand on the relief that you seek for eternity if you wish. You can focus on relief so long, that like Jesus, if someone comes to you with pain, just being near you will heal them. Why? Because relief is the natural path of least resistance towards all things wanted, as it is being and becoming evermore here and now. 

 

And you will then say, thank you unwanted sensation. You help me realised everything forever. I have let go of this life, and my life stays with me. Because I love my life. And I am who I am. And I love myself. And I care about myself. And I always wanna feel good! And feeling good/relief is my eternal nature of being. So thank you pain, for reminding me what is really at the core of who I am. And who and what everything and all that exists truely is. As the primary desire the primary essence of all existance, is that all is well. And becoming weller evermore. And so my unconditional freedom to focus on the relief, doesn't require death. Because the cause of pain is not a real thing. It is just energetic resistance or discord within myself. And releasing that, I found that the relief I find, is being and becoming evermore throughout all things in all of existance, evermore! And how good life is! That even death is a relief of life into MORE EVEN BETTER LIFE! ETERNAL RELIEF. forever and ever and ever. 

Edited November 29, 2019 by Everything

[Earl Grey]

11 hours ago, Tryingtodobetter said:

Also, I would appreciate if you could specify what part of my reaction to the symptom I outlined in this post that I experience at nearly all times during waking hours is childish, for clarity

Intending suicide because you don’t get the results immediately is childish because you sound like, “I didn’t get what I wanted, so I’ll kill myself.”

 

Find a good therapist, because after multiple threads with an outpouring of support for you,  you’re still on this self-pity party.
 

Honestly, you appear to relish the attention from online forums and don’t seem to want to address the root of your issues.

 

Don’t go online for help, seek professional help. 

 

Very little can be done energetically with internal power to address your situation and you really shouldn’t at this point as your mind and emotions are too unstable to direct any qi or meditative techniques to heal what you want.

 

It seems you also don’t want to pay someone who can help like a TCM doctor or consult Eric Isen. You get what you pay for and what you indicate by refusing to pay is that you don’t value your life as much as your money, let alone do you actually value the wisdom and professional skill that is needed to help you.

Edited November 29, 2019 by Earl Grey

[Walker]

Yep,

 

Therapist is needed. If you do not have the money to visit one or you live in a very remote area or a country without many mental health professionals, I suggest reaching out to a suicide hotline and/or elders/mentors in your area.

 

ALSO,

 

Volunteer. A lot. The more the better. You need to feel needed. You ARE needed. There is SO fucking much on this planet that needs doing, and not enough people doing it, even though there are too many people. Ironic, eh? Greta Thunberg changed the world by sitting on her ass outside of the parliament. You're sitting on your ass not changing anything at all, not even your own circumstances. There are SO many people and SO many organizations you could be helping with your time and energy. AND you will reap the benefits of oxytocin, which you need desperately. 

 

Go.

 

Outside.

 

Help. Other. People. 

 

Bare minimum, kid: Help me and every one of us fuckers who is fretting on the Global Warming thread in the Rabbit Hole section. We're counting on you. Go. Now. 

[Everything]

22 minutes ago, Walker said:

Yep,

 

Therapist is needed. If you do not have the money to visit one or you live in a very remote area or a country without many mental health professionals, I suggest reaching out to a suicide hotline and/or elders/mentors in your area.

 

ALSO,

 

Volunteer. A lot. The more the better. You need to feel needed. You ARE needed. There is SO fucking much on this planet that needs doing, and not enough people doing it, even though there are too many people. Ironic, eh? Greta Thunberg changed the world by sitting on her ass outside of the parliament. You're sitting on your ass not changing anything at all, not even your own circumstances. There are SO many people and SO many organizations you could be helping with your time and energy. AND you will reap the benefits of oxytocin, which you need desperately. 

 

Go.

 

Outside.

 

Help. Other. People. 

 

Bare minimum, kid: Help me and every one of us fuckers who is fretting on the Global Warming thread in the Rabbit Hole section. We're counting on you. Go. Now. 

Ahahahaha I so love those kids. We need more trees! I need more trees in my nose! I'm gonna bring a tree to school. So I can breath it. My doctor says it's good for oxigen and in my brain I need extra oxigen in school. To become the solution for all problems forevermore! I'm gonna save the wuuuuulrd, wiiihooooyah!

Snort them pure fresh oxigen straight from the source. 

Oh wait... Ocean provides more oxigen than trees?

I'm sorry teacher, I'm going to the beach 

I need a breath of fresh air.

 

Seriously tho, have you ever smelled the fresh ocean at the beach. Or along the shoreline? There is no better thing in the entire universe. But you need to focus on the experience of all your senses as you are in nature, before you experience the pure experience of the natural freshness and purity of life force itself. A scent of a plant, you can crush a small tiny bit of green under your fingers, rub it, and then smell that. The scent of that, feels like extacy to me. Pure extacy. And the sound of the ocean, and even the scent of the ocean and the vibration of the waves the sound is literally felt in the air! That is pure extacy! You can feel the sound move your entire body. It vibrates/massages my chest! This is pure healing. This is pure life force. Wind, water, air, earth, sun. 

 

Even a forrest or pure natural untouched wilderness. Humans need that. 

 

We need nature. Nature is our natural freedom. It is our true natural being. It is our natural path of least resistance towards everything that we want. As all of creation resides within each and every one of us. 

Edited November 29, 2019 by Everything

[Walker]

[Earl Grey]

1 minute ago, Walker said:

Hey, I remember this game. Underrated, really. Loved it. Even had the guidebook.

[Walker]

14 minutes ago, Earl Grey said:

Hey, I remember this game. Underrated, really. Loved it. Even had the guidebook.

 

Oh lord, don't encourage the guy... 😂

[Tryingtodobetter]

I'm going to kill myself. I'm sure someone who was being shocked and messed with all the time by someone or something would have no problem killing themselves, because what is the point of even being alive with that happening?! What is the point of living when every thing I even think about doing or even enjoying I get a response in my legs that pulses or shocks me depending on the thought?

 

Volunteering is going to stop the pains in my legs that respond to my thoughts? How, how is that going to help

 

Meditation is going to stop the pains in my legs that respond to my thoughts when they're constantly happening how could i possibly meditate properly? Is someone going to recommend a meditation involving imagining myself with butter melting on me?! Is someone going to recommend jesus or Catholicism?! Or some abrahamic or toaist whatever?! Is someone going to recommend qigong?! Is someone going to recommend gardening?! Is someone going to share some photo involving imagery counterintuitive to the plight ice outlined in detail?! Is someone going to recommend "the upanishads"?! Is someone going to recommend something that doesnt help?! Who knows right

 

What is this forum even

 

Suicide is a good answer to this problem. It's not childish. I doubt any of you experience what I do. You want to help me? Just give me something to kill myself with

[moment]

Trolls are a waste of everybody's time.  They weren't even a needed part of the Harry Potter story-line.

[Earl Grey]

5 minutes ago, Tryingtodobetter said:

I'm going to kill myself. I'm sure someone who was being shocked and messed with all the time by someone or something would have no problem killing themselves, because what is the point of even being alive with that happening?! What is the point of living when every thing I even think about doing or even enjoying I get a response in my legs that pulses or shocks me depending on the thought?

 

Volunteering is going to stop the pains in my legs that respond to my thoughts? How, how is that going to help

 

Meditation is going to stop the pains in my legs that respond to my thoughts when they're constantly happening how could i possibly meditate properly? Is someone going to recommend a meditation involving imagining myself with butter melting on me?! Is someone going to recommend jesus or Catholicism?! Or some abrahamic or toaist whatever?! Is someone going to recommend qigong?! Is someone going to recommend gardening?! Is someone going to share some photo involving imagery counterintuitive to the plight ice outlined in detail?! Is someone going to recommend "the upanishads"?! Is someone going to recommend something that doesnt help?! Who knows right

 

What is this forum even

 

Suicide is a good answer to this problem. It's not childish. I doubt any of you experience what I do. You want to help me? Just give me something to kill myself with

What are you expecting, man? You’re asking for advice and free advice too, but you’re unwilling to listen or pay for actual professional help you need that was suggested. I dealt with suicidal thoughts personally and with patients before, and right now, this is a temper tantrum for attention. Would love to help, but right now, you sound like a teenager who got rejected by someone and couldn’t get a prom date.

 

Your best bet is consulting Eric Isen who is a medical and energetic doctor. If you give the whole “I don’t have money” excuse, borrow money or tell him your situation and he may be compassionate.

 

Until then, you’re not going to win any pity or further attention, because you’re doing a fantastic job of ignoring and dismissing any of the help that’s been spelled out clearly for you multiple times across many threads.

[Walker]

Amen.

 

Kid, quit whining. You're not the first one here to have had strong suicidal ideation. You're not the first one here to have had mysterious, debilitating pain and illness. You're not the first one here to have suffered from serious depression. You're not that unique, original, or amazing. Your just a typical, ho-hum dude going through some vaguely atypical shit on a planet where everybody gets sick and eventually most people get terribly sick.

 

Quit moping for attention and follow through on some of the advice you're asking for.

 

Want to know what volunteering will do for your mind and body?

 

Great. I can tell you how you can find out:

 

Get off your ass and go find some people to help, and stick at that three days a week for the next three months without any breaks or excuses. 

 

Then come back and tell us how your situation has changed.

 

On your remaining four days a week, follow the advice other people have given you. Also without breaks or excuses. If you don't want to do anything to improve your lot but remain here and write about yourself, please at the very least ditch the whiny, woe-is-me attitude and stop trying to emotionally blackmail people with suicide threats. Those are really unfortunate habits. 

[Earl Grey]

Not to mention that suicide threats 99% of the time are calls for attention. The people who actually want to commit suicide don't show it or seek help or attention. 

 

With this whole 

2 hours ago, Tryingtodobetter said:

I'm going to kill myself.

 

2 hours ago, Tryingtodobetter said:

What is this forum even

 

2 hours ago, Tryingtodobetter said:

Suicide is a good answer to this problem. It's not childish. I doubt any of you experience what I do. You want to help me? Just give me something to kill myself with

 

You don't sound like you're interested in helping yourself, you're basically holding yourself hostage for people to beg you to not kill yourself. 

 

Doesn't work that way. You want change? Man up and go get some professional help, including from Isen. Don't go poking around the Internet for free help; you're just going to depress yourself and annoy or confuse others. 

 

Seriously: get off your butt, quit buying stupid shit, quit wasting time, and get professional help. Consider that the money you use to pay off the ransom money for your life. Otherwise, I and a few others here will just relegate you to the category of "whiny teenager who wants attention from random strangers on the Internet and won't do anything to get the help he actually needs" and not take you seriously. 

 

This is a freaking forum for discussion, not a place to diagnose or treat your symptoms, pal. 

 

GO. GET. HELP. 

 

LOG OFF.

 

GO.

 

Oh, and before you go, here are two resources, FREE.

 

www.yellowribbon.org -- if you are an American, this is a free suicide prevention hotline.

 

Or, call this number instead for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1 800-273-8255.

 

www.rainn.org you can call or even VOLUNTEER for them for people with SERIOUS issues like rape and incest, violence and abuse! Wow! People who REALLY need help!

 

"The mark of an immature man is seeking a meaningful death; the mark of a mature man is seeking a meaningful life." - J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

 

YOU decide if you are a mature or immature man.

Edited November 29, 2019 by Earl Grey

[Tryingtodobetter]

It was for attention in that I thought someone here would be able to help me.

 

It's not a temper tantrum and it's not childish.

 

Ever since that night with the owls hooting I've had very palpable sensations in my legs and occasionally my body that respond to my thoughts. Left side for wrong or right side for right, I dont know the logic behind it with certainty- that seems to be it. It feels like something writhing under my skin akin to a light scrape with a finger nail and when it's not that it's like a low voltage shock or a deep pinch. I would dismiss it as a nutritional deficiency or a delusion, if it didnt persist throughout every day for well over a year and seem to have some sentience. 

 

I would meditate properly if it wasnt persisting during every waking moment for the last fucking year. How am I supposed to meditate for any given length of time, when I sit down and someone or something is zapping my legs the whole time.

 

It is happening while I'm awake 24/7. It is constantly happening. None of you are even addressing that, the reality of it. How is someone supposed to do much of anything when this is a constant? It's not some occasional thing or a waning emotion, it is happening constantly.

 

How the fuck am I not supposed to be suicidal, when nothing that anyone has recommended had worked thus far, and those replying with condescending bullshit about my attitude towards the situation when they dont have someone or something shocking their fucking legs and occasionally their body every fucking second of the day when they're awake.

 

Its constantly happening to me. It's not a troll it's not some teenage bullshit. I dont know if its supernatural harrassment or man made technology. 

 

Like I said, none of you deal with this. None of you deal with this. And next to none have responded to any of the more unexplainable nuances of my post. Like how when I attempted suicide and when I went to the hospital to get the wound treated they put in a medical honey as the nurse called it and when I have certain "paranoid" thoughts about certain situations/groups-people it sends a deep shock- just in the spot where she put it. 

 

Thank you for showing me how compassionate and understanding most of you Really are. I dont think I'm "unique" or whatever other aggrandized attributes you want to project. I'm not blackmailing anyone. I've already attempted suicide before, and like I said I'll choose a more sound method this time whenever an opportunity presents itself.

 

[Earl Grey]

2 minutes ago, Tryingtodobetter said:

It was for attention in that I thought someone here would be able to help me.

 

It's not a temper tantrum and it's not childish.

 

Ever since that night with the owls hooting I've had very palpable sensations in my legs and occasionally my body that respond to my thoughts. Left side for wrong or right side for right, I dont know the logic behind it with certainty- that seems to be it. It feels like something writhing under my skin akin to a light scrape with a finger nail and when it's not that it's like a low voltage shock or a deep pinch. I would dismiss it as a nutritional deficiency or a delusion, if it didnt persist throughout every day for well over a year and seem to have some sentience. 

 

I would meditate properly if it wasnt persisting during every waking moment for the last fucking year. How am I supposed to meditate for any given length of time, when I sit down and someone or something is zapping my legs the whole time.

 

It is happening while I'm awake 24/7. It is constantly happening. None of you are even addressing that, the reality of it. How is someone supposed to do much of anything when this is a constant? It's not some occasional thing or a waning emotion, it is happening constantly.

 

How the fuck am I not supposed to be suicidal, when nothing that anyone has recommended had worked thus far, and those replying with condescending bullshit about my attitude towards the situation when they dont have someone or something shocking their fucking legs and occasionally their body every fucking second of the day when they're awake.

 

Its constantly happening to me. It's not a troll it's not some teenage bullshit. I dont know if its supernatural harrassment or man made technology. 

 

Like I said, none of you deal with this. None of you deal with this. And next to none have responded to any of the more unexplainable nuances of my post. Like how when I attempted suicide and when I went to the hospital to get the wound treated they put in a medical honey as the nurse called it and when I have certain "paranoid" thoughts about certain situations/groups-people it sends a deep shock- just in the spot where she put it. 

 

Thank you for showing me how compassionate and understanding most of you Really are. I dont think I'm "unique" or whatever other aggrandized attributes you want to project. I'm not blackmailing anyone. I've already attempted suicide before, and like I said I'll choose a more sound method this time whenever an opportunity presents itself.

 

 

Dear Teenage Mutant Ninja Attention-Seeker:

 

We have experienced these sensations before. I have. I meditated right through it with the proper technique and right teacher. You're just not paying attention because you don't want to do the work or pay for it. 

 

Go get professional help--your insults, threats, and your tantrum are not going to get you far here, and so far have not gotten you anywhere with your own life. 

 

Compassion to you seems to be giving you what you want rather than giving you what you need. Spare yourself further aggravation and go get help and until then, you probably shouldn't be posting here, Reddit, YouTube comments, or other dark corners of the web.

[Tryingtodobetter]

8 hours ago, Walker said:

Yep,

 

Therapist is needed. If you do not have the money to visit one or you live in a very remote area or a country without many mental health professionals, I suggest reaching out to a suicide hotline and/or elders/mentors in your area.

 

ALSO,

 

Volunteer. A lot. The more the better. You need to feel needed. You ARE needed. There is SO fucking much on this planet that needs doing, and not enough people doing it, even though there are too many people. Ironic, eh? Greta Thunberg changed the world by sitting on her ass outside of the parliament. You're sitting on your ass not changing anything at all, not even your own circumstances. There are SO many people and SO many organizations you could be helping with your time and energy. AND you will reap the benefits of oxytocin, which you need desperately. 

 

Go.

 

Outside.

 

Help. Other. People. 

 

Bare minimum, kid: Help me and every one of us fuckers who is fretting on the Global Warming thread in the Rabbit Hole section. We're counting on you. Go. Now. 

 

You're either pretending, or you're not a very discerning person

 

You're either pretending, or have little working knowledge of the pervasive systems of orchestrated struggle and artificial scarcity 

 

You're either pretending, or you genuinely believe a teenager(child) found her way to being the mouthpiece for a powerful environmental party/organization by sheer will and capability alone, and not because she was essentially "manufactured" for lack of a better term

 

There aren't "too many people" in the world.

 

When I choose to help people, it's not for simply for the sake of a chemical release or whatever. Sometimes suicide is not from a place of sadness, depression, etc- sometimes suicide is a very logical solution to ones situation. 

 

As I said before, I'm not sure if you're pretending or not at this point. I guess I would ask the same about a few other people responding on this post, especially when looking into their responses and even my own

 

I wonder how many of the responses to this post were mostly projection if not entirely

[Walker]

You just wrote a very long and eloquent post, belying the notion that you can do anything because of your legs. If you can write that post, evidently you're neither writhing in physical agony nor in a stupor or raving mad. Therefore, you can also use the body and mind that just typed all of those paragraphs to go out into the real world and get professional help. You may need to try all kinds of biological and psychiatric medicine, alternative therapies, or even interventions such as shamanism or an exorcism if the cause actually is supernatural.

 

So: GO!

 

People here cannot solve the specifics of your problem because they are 1000s of kilometers away, and because you got unlucky and you have a tricky problem that even experienced professionals who can see you in person will have trouble diagnosing and treating. So: Stop asking for what CANNOT be found here.

 

YOU and you alone have to go out into the world and choose life, which involves huge dosages of setbacks, ups and downs, suffering, confusion, mystery, and so on.

 

Healing IS possible but you've already gotten ALL the sound advice that can be given to you here, and most of it you've ignored.

[Tryingtodobetter]

10 minutes ago, Earl Grey said:

 

Dear Teenage Mutant Ninja Attention-Seeker:

 

We have experienced these sensations before. I have. I meditated right through it with the proper technique and right teacher. You're just not paying attention because you don't want to do the work or pay for it. 

 

Go get professional help--your insults, threats, and your tantrum are not going to get you far here, and so far have not gotten you anywhere with your own life. 

 

Compassion to you seems to be giving you what you want rather than giving you what you need. Spare yourself further aggravation and go get help and until then, you probably shouldn't be posting here, Reddit, YouTube comments, or other dark corners of the web.

 

Like I said. Your posts show a lot about your character, your opening is the summation of your responses

 

As if I hadn't already sought and applied the methods you suggested already.

 

As if the main person on this thread behaving from a place of total immaturity isn't you

[Walker]

8 minutes ago, Tryingtodobetter said:

 

You're either pretending, or you're not a very discerning person

 

You're either pretending, or have little working knowledge of the pervasive systems of orchestrated struggle and artificial scarcity 

 

You're either pretending, or you genuinely believe a teenager(child) found her way to being the mouthpiece for a powerful environmental party/organization by sheer will and capability alone, and not because she was essentially "manufactured" for lack of a better term

 

There aren't "too many people" in the world.

 

When I choose to help people, it's not for simply for the sake of a chemical release or whatever. Sometimes suicide is not from a place of sadness, depression, etc- sometimes suicide is a very logical solution to ones situation. 

 

As I said before, I'm not sure if you're pretending or not at this point. I guess I would ask the same about a few other people responding on this post, especially when looking into their responses and even my own

 

I wonder how many of the responses to this post were mostly projection if not entirely

 

Sigh. You just want games. I'm blocking you. No games.

[Earl Grey]

1 minute ago, Tryingtodobetter said:

 

Like I said. Your posts show a lot about your character, your opening is the summation of your responses

 

As if I hadn't already sought and applied the methods you suggested already.

 

As if the main person on this thread behaving from a place of total immaturity isn't you

“True words are not beautiful and beautiful words are not true. Those who argue don’t know, and those who know don’t argue.” -TTC 81

 

At this rate, go right ahead and off yourself, man. Every point and all the advice we shared has gone over your head, and the most compassionate thing to say at this point is to just say, “Hope suicide works out for you” because it appears that’s what you really want, not peace or healing.

[Nintendao]

Hey @Tryingtodobetter I don't know if it's already been one of the recommendations or if you have any experience with fasting. If there's something eating you from the inside why not stop feeding it? Literally. Cut off the energy source. I'm not even that fond of the word 'fasting' because it also has connotations of some spiritual or energetic practices, but those can just complicate things and keep introducing even more of other energies. Digestive system is chemically powerful, to be able to break down foods. When no food arrives for a while, certain enzymes themselves will travel from the intestines to the blood stream looking for miscellaneous junk they might be able to burn. You don't have to kill your whole body in order to kill what's trying to kill you.

[Jim D.]

If we knew your phone number and address we could call the Police and a request a wellness check in order to protect you from doing harm to yourself. 

[ilumairen]

43 minutes ago, Tryingtodobetter said:

It was for attention in that I thought someone here would be able to help me.

 

It's not a temper tantrum and it's not childish.

 

Ever since that night with the owls hooting I've had very palpable sensations in my legs and occasionally my body that respond to my thoughts. Left side for wrong or right side for right, I dont know the logic behind it with certainty- that seems to be it. It feels like something writhing under my skin akin to a light scrape with a finger nail and when it's not that it's like a low voltage shock or a deep pinch. I would dismiss it as a nutritional deficiency or a delusion, if it didnt persist throughout every day for well over a year and seem to have some sentience. 

 

My suggestion would be the sentience is your own. In the Druid Animal Oracle the owl signifies detachment, wisdom and death/rebirth. The sensations arise while you're not practicing detachment, and detachment is the answer and wisdom you're looking for.. let these old thought patterns die, and be reborn to something new. 

 

43 minutes ago, Tryingtodobetter said:

I would meditate properly if it wasnt persisting during every waking moment for the last fucking year. How am I supposed to meditate for any given length of time, when I sit down and someone or something is zapping my legs the whole time.

 

Move into the sensations without judgement or trying to push them away, or placing them at the feet of some other being you believe has usurped your sovereignty. 

 

43 minutes ago, Tryingtodobetter said:

It is happening while I'm awake 24/7. It is constantly happening. None of you are even addressing that, the reality of it. How is someone supposed to do much of anything when this is a constant? It's not some occasional thing or a waning emotion, it is happening constantly.

 

How the fuck am I not supposed to be suicidal, when nothing that anyone has recommended had worked thus far, and those replying with condescending bullshit about my attitude towards the situation when they dont have someone or something shocking their fucking legs and occasionally their body every fucking second of the day when they're awake.

 

A very long time ago, I experienced electric sensations in the palms of my hands, I eventually found placing them on the ground and breathing deeply and slowly alleviated the sensations (which correlated with repressed anger). But, I don't know how to equate this experience in a manner you would be able to follow for the sensations in your legs - except to say, find a way to ground yourself.

 

43 minutes ago, Tryingtodobetter said:

Its constantly happening to me. It's not a troll it's not some teenage bullshit. I dont know if its supernatural harrassment or man made technology. 

 

Like I said, none of you deal with this. None of you deal with this. And next to none have responded to any of the more unexplainable nuances of my post. Like how when I attempted suicide and when I went to the hospital to get the wound treated they put in a medical honey as the nurse called it and when I have certain "paranoid" thoughts about certain situations/groups-people it sends a deep shock- just in the spot where she put it. 

 

Are those the sort of thoughts you had which led to the wound you reference? It could very well be your subconscious reminding you, you've been down this road, and it doesn't lead anywhere good for you. 

 

This is what I can offer, for better or worse. Take it, or leave it; it's up to you.