Earl Grey Posted December 15, 2019 Dear Bums, It's that time of the year and I thought to experiment in a new tradition, in the spirit of being merry and where usual aggression, be it passive or active, can be turned into affectionate roasting and toasting, ribbing one another because through it all, we're a dynamic community and family, who bring each other up and piss each other off, like the Addams Family and the Honeymooners, even with a few odd ones out like the Archie Bunkers and Al Bundys out there. Begin with any member, conversation, thread, or memorable event of the year and celebrate it with a roast, a toast, or a jingle. You can do this as many times as you want, but you must do so in a manner appropriate for the season. And if you're Jewish, come right in and give us Hanukkah fun too. Let this go through Kwanzaa to New Year, folks. Whatever you do in this thread, don't be dicks... be Dickens! I'll start out with a little jingle, to the tune of Santa Claus is Coming to Town, a toast for Sean's triumphant return, I give you, Sean The Man is Cleaning up House You better not shout You better not fight Better get out If you're the Alt-Right Sean the Man is cleaning up house He's making a list And checking it twice Gonna find out who's naughty and nice Sean the Man is cleaning up house He sees what you've been posting He knows when you're a bloke He knows if you've been bad or good So be good, don't just be Woke! O! You better watch out You better not cry He's kicking them out Kiss the Alt-Right trolls goodbye Sean the Man is coming, Sean the man is ready, Sean the Man is cleaning up house. 5 1 8 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nintendao Posted December 15, 2019 Oh, scandalous delight! As long as it's agreed this really is done through love. Is there some kind of waiver to sign? Join me now in a round set to Hark! The Herald Angels Sing Hark! The herald Everything, Glory to the here and now. Effortlessly evermore, Same thing that it said before. Scrolling, all the users’ browsers. Scrolling for what feels like hours. Holy shit, they doth proclaim, Why’s he posting this again? Oy! The harebrained Everything, Here and now, for evermore. 2 7 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
moment Posted December 16, 2019 (edited) You better not lie You better not meet You better not react I'm telling you now The Limahong actor is coming to town. He's collecting data He's checking it twice He's gonna find out The beat of daobum art The Limahong rascal is coming to town. He sees you when you're enchanting He knows when you berate He knows when you are here or not wears many masks for goodness sake. Oh you better not flitter and be so irate you better not be careless and spill your darkest secrets The Limahong actor is coming to town Edited December 16, 2019 by moment 1 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
senseless virtue Posted December 16, 2019 More Pie Threads Posting on the row On consecutive days O'er the nonsense we go Laughing all the way Replies pop up making 'ping' Making confusion alright What fun it is to browse and sing A daily shitpost tonight! More Pie threads, More Pie Threads, More Pie all the way. Huh huh! what fun it is to write On consecutive days. More Pie threads, More Pie Threads, More Pie all the way. Huh huh! what fun it is to write On consecutive days. A day or two ago I thought I'd make a reply And soon, WMPs of all kind Were arguing for their side, The memes were mean and dank Misfortune seemed their lot They got into a circle wank And then they got upsot. More Pie threads, More Pie Threads, More Pie all the way. Huh huh! what fun it is to write On consecutive days. More Pie threads, More Pie Threads, More Pie all the way. Huh huh! what fun it is to write On consecutive days. 3 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
manitou Posted December 16, 2019 (edited) O come, Silent Thunder Come with all your wisdom To share, and to elevate The Dao Bums this year. Come and behold him, Sheer illumination O come let us adore him O come let us adore him O come let us adore him Creighton, the Bum. (Great topic, Earl!) Edited December 16, 2019 by manitou 8 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
manitou Posted December 16, 2019 O Little Steve of Baltimore, How very well you write. Above the din of argument You're seldom in a fight. And in the darkness shineth Your everlasting light The holiday festivities Are at your house tonight. And if you're not agreeable I don't know what we'll do, We'll have to find another place That also has a loo. 8 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
manitou Posted December 16, 2019 Dashing through the threads In a most dynamic way O what fun it is to read Limahong at play. OH...Limahong, Limahong He's here every day What fun to see the visual aids They're really pretty gay. 1 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Taomeow Posted December 16, 2019 Little Daobum Boy Come they told me, pa rum pum pum pumThe Daobums to see, pa rum pum pum pumOur finest gifts we bring, pa rum pum pum pumTo lay before the Bums, pa rum pum pum pumRum pum pum pum So to honor them, pa rum pum pum pumWhen we come Little Daobum, pa rum pum pum pumI am a Daobum too, pa rum pum pum pumI have no gift to bring, pa rum pum pum pumThat's fit to give the Bums, pa rum pum pum pumRum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum Shall I post for you, pa rum pum pum pumOh Daobums? Laozi nodded, pa rum pum pum pumThe yin and yang kept time, pa rum pum pum pumI post my dao for them, pa rum pum pum pumI dao my best for them, pa rum pum pum pumRum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum Then some smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pumSome thought me dumbDumb 5 2 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted December 16, 2019 Spoiler Its a Christmas roast 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nintendao Posted December 16, 2019 5 minutes ago, Nungali said: Mess with Nungali, and your goose is pretty much cooked! 1 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
liminal_luke Posted December 17, 2019 Silent Thunder, Holy Rain All is calm, life´s alright. He walks barefoot in the early morn. He won´t judge you even if you watch porn. So...sleep in heavenly peace. Sleep in heavenly peace. Silent Thunder, Holy Rain Reading him, never a pain. He lives in the now, says connection is king. Not afraid to die or let go of anything. So...sleep in heavenly peace. Sleep in heavenly peace. 8 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Earl Grey Posted December 17, 2019 (edited) To the tune of 12 Days of Christmas, I give you The Twelve Days of Digging but am too lazy to type out the whole version, so figure it out with each day already spelled out here like we've reached the 12th day already. On the twelfth day of digging the forum gave to us: 12. Luke's Awesome Artwork 11. A brand new Mo Pai FAQ 10. Board rules much better 9. Brian coming briefly 8. Jim's wake and party 7. Non-cis as a forum 6. Sex talk and qi flow 5. Tao-MEOW came baaaaaack!!! 4. Some awesome pics 3. More weird memes 2. Dwai and Steve's new books 1. And a chain for haiku poetry Edited December 17, 2019 by Earl Grey 1 6 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Earl Grey Posted December 17, 2019 (edited) 10 hours ago, liminal_luke said: Earl, If I was more clever with song lyrics I´d try my hand at composing a nice roast over on your toasting & roasting thread. As it is, suffice it to say that if I ever thought spiritual people didn´t "get angry" or were "party-poopers" you´ve disabused me of that notion. 9 hours ago, liminal_luke said: Mixing practices and looking for advice? Earl Grey tells it like it is, he doesn´t care about nice. Chia says be celibate, get your immortal peach. Freeform says be careful, you´ll become perverted leech. Taomeow knows her yin and yang, she´s a genius cat But if you try to fight her, she´ll swat you like a knat. Guys come here to get power, attract all the girls It´s a real Taobum bummer, why aren´t you casting pearls? Above is an example of an affectionate toast and roast from liminal_luke that doesn't have to be set to Christmas and Hannukah jingles! Now my challenge to Luke (or whomever) is to see if you can do something like "You're a mean one, Mr. Grey" to the tune of the Grinch song! Edited December 17, 2019 by Earl Grey 4 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nintendao Posted December 17, 2019 To me this song, just as it is, embodies so much of the spirit of strife giving way to unity we sometimes see here! I'll add this over the chorus, though If Flowing Hands walked in today, I just imagine what he'd say, He'd say "Oi! don't ya know, this site's 'bout the Dao*, You chumps carry on 'bout your Chrsitian holiday." *pronounced like "dough" 2 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Earl Grey Posted December 17, 2019 3 minutes ago, Nintendao said: To me this song, just as it is, embodies so much of the spirit of strife giving way to unity we sometimes see here! I'll add this over the chorus, though If Flowing Hands walked in today, I just imagine what he'd say, He'd say "Oi! don't ya know, this site's 'bout the Dao*, You chumps carry on 'bout your Chrsitian holiday." *pronounced like "dough" I'm more partial to Gwen Stefani's version, but love the original you posted too! 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
manitou Posted December 17, 2019 5 hours ago, Taomeow said: Little Daobum Boy OMG that was beautiful, Taomeow. You are a jewel inside and out. 2 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Taomeow Posted December 17, 2019 ((( @manitou ))) Likewise 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Earl Grey Posted December 18, 2019 To the tune of Christmas Tree: Ilumairen, Ilumairen Her posts are full of courtesy Ilumairen, Ilumairen She says "it's just good manners" She doesn't care for enmity She just wants reciprocity Ilumairen, Ilumairen Her candle is quite fancy Oh, Nintendao, oh, Nintendao They're also quite empathic Oh, Nintendao, oh, Nintendao A happy yellow Yoshi They never fight or reprimand They'd rather go to Disneyland Or listen to an awesome band Oh, Nintendao, oh, Nintendao They love to catch more Pokémon Oh mantis Zork, oh mantis Zork He doesn't pull his punches From straw man to ad hominem He'll show how you have no logic Each foolish post or rant you make No one alive will get away Oh, mantis Zork, oh, mantis Zork The rational discourse mantis 2 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted December 18, 2019 On 17/12/2019 at 10:59 AM, Nintendao said: Mess with Nungali, and your goose is pretty much cooked! Some big rough Maori boys threatened to eat me once .... in New Zealand . Yikes ! Managed to buy them a beer then escape instead . 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Earl Grey Posted December 19, 2019 (edited) To the tune of Deck the Halls: Look, another post on Crowley blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah OP doesn't know Nungali blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah If they know what's good for them now blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah Nun'll get 'em, no sweat off his brow blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah See the ranting of some incel blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah Here comes Nungers, raising some hell blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah He's a trickster and quite jolly blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah Our very own pal Nungali blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah Nungers tells them straight to the point blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah Get their facts right, don't smoke that joint blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah If they hate to hear that it's true blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah Not Nun's prob they don't have a clue blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah Edited December 19, 2019 by Earl Grey 2 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nintendao Posted January 3, 2020 Let all the Trump Talk be forgot, And never brought to mind. Forego the squabbling for naught, For auld lang syne. To cultivate your Dao of De, For now and to all time, Empty your cup and don't forget, To shine an inner smile. Spoiler There's still festivity to spread as we approach the Lunar New Year! 2 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
