I think I need some help..

[skyblue]

Nice to meet you, everyone.

I am Nishant, from India and this is the first time I'm posting here after lurking around for a bit.

Now let me explain my thing :

Two years or so back, I started reading Chinese webnovels, especially the type where the protagonist becomes a great genius and keeps flying around and soaring through the skies.

That took me towards the whole idea of Daoism, and I started studying some texts and stuff. I started following Daoist rituals and tried to confirm my behaviour to the Dao whenever I was conscious of it. Mind you, I had no idea about Qi and dantian and stuff like that.

Now then, I came across this forum, and a whole new world opened up before me. Cultivation and neidan, which I thought was the stuff of the novels actually existed. That once again reignited my passion for flying in the sky and getting celestial fairies as my consorts

 

Here's how my journey has been since : I read somewhere about MCO, and finding it closest to what I had in mind about 'cultivation', I started visualizing that. After a few tries, I felt some vibration through under my right part of neck, then under the nipple all the way through under right side of the stomach area and disappearing there. Although initially ecstatic about the discovery of Qi, I corrected this path to the one through my lips, neck and centre of my anterior body to the dantian. These where actual vibrations, and not merely figments of my own imagination as I initially thought them to be. But while bringing this vibration back through my Governor vessel, I felt an intense blockage on my mingmen point. I still kept on trying this stuff, and well.. that's that. Oh yeah, something happened while I was casually sitting during the day and I felt this rush of pleasure whenever I breathed. It was like every breath created a euphoric feeling in my heart. Is that an indication of a problem?

 

All this happened in a week, a few days before now.

 

Two days before yesterday though, I came across Nan Huai Chin's book on the right and wrong spiritual paths, (http://www.meditationexpert.com/bestandworstnew.htm) thanks to that, I have felt my mind grow calmer. I don't think of my bullshit fantasies anymore, and my only aim for now is to keep going further on my cultivation path.

So, the same night, I sat in meditation with a detailed skeleton picture and started visualizing the bones of my feet for the White Bone Visualization method. I didn't concentrate for a long time and only got to my hip before I had to sleep for the night cuz my mom was mad at me. The euphoria in my heart got stronger that night, and every heartbeat made me feel blissful.

 

Here comes the part I don't understand :

I continued with the visualisation last night, from the very start of my left foot finger bones. I visualized both of my legs yesterday as compared to just one, and after I reached the spine area, I was distracted since my sick grandfather was asking for water from the other room, and my parents sleep on the above floor. I got up and gave him some water and went back to my bed, thinking that I would do the meditation tomorrow. Just when I had lied down to sleep, while thinking of remaining aware to keep myself conscious in my dream (I have yet to accomplish that feat), I felt a sudden thump in my head from the inside, and the world seem to blur. My consciousness seemed to have covered by something, and the most I could feel was that my hands felt really light, and I felt as if I could fly if I wanted to (an illusion, ofc). My body felt full on the inside with.. heat(?), especially near the heart. My head wasn't really buzzing and I still had some thoughts, most of them having to do with Nan Huai Chin's method of not controlling or forcing the changes.

A short while later, this phenomenon disappeared and I regained my senses.

For an hour or so after that, I continuously farted around for a while , and had to go to the bathroom twice(ugh, embarrassing 😳). For three hours after that, I just couldn't sleep and had multiple thoughts in my head. The White Bone meditation session I just had was quite peaceful, but now, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop thoughts from getting to my head. I tried chanting "Amitofo", and other methods, but none of them helped, although they were far more helpful in the day. Sometime after that, I forced myself to keep my eyes closed for half an hour or so, and eventually fell asleep. This morning, I woke up at 5:30 in the morning as compared to my usual 4:15, which is the time I have started waking up since I started doing MCOs and stuff.

 

I personally don't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing, and my heart feels unsettled from all these thoughts. I don't think I have noticed much changes in my body since morning.

Before I forget, I started feeding the hungry ghosts since the day before yesterday following this method : https://www.meditationexpert.com/self-improvement/s_make_offerings_to_hungry_ghosts_for_accumulating_merit.htm

 

That's all from me. Makes me feel really free after sharing all this. I would be really greatful if someone was to advice me as to what's going on.

[Welcomer]

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[idiot_stimpy]

The thump in your head I think is a good sign.

 

I had a similar experience too. 

Edited May 23, 2020 by idiot_stimpy

[ilumairen]

 

On 3/7/2020 at 11:46 PM, CataclysmicSky said:

For three hours after that, I just couldn't sleep and had multiple thoughts in my head.

 

Curious if these months later the thoughts have settled?

 

And have you continued your practices?