Revenge of the Sperm Masters!

[VCraigP]

Hi all.

 

Ummm...it occurs to me that everyone is still talking about training wheels.

 

My education, courtesy of M.Chia primarily, was that the finger lock technique (wherever the pertinent point may be exactly) was an emergency technique which should eventually be grown out of.

 

The point is to move the energy with mind/intent, rather than let it almost leak out and then physically block it. This is forcing, and therefore, like traditional Iron shirt from M.Chia, somewhat excess yang and unnatural. Big draw is also not the end all of training. One should evolve to small sips and just circulating energy in rest phase.

 

My two cents.

 

Craig

[MatthewQi]

Craig,

 

Eventually all of these techniques are outgrown. And shed for Reality itself. No question about this!

 

In my experience, which will not be necessarily anyone elses, 3 finger with upward draw was much more natural than holding back that which is natural and more powerful in generating jing for alchemy. I wanted to share that as this part can be a difficult change for people and they can put to much pressure on themselves that is actually counterproductive.

 

Inner Peace,

 

Matt

[thelerner]

Here is one piece I surfed to from an above mentioned site, BEGINS

 

"So...how did you learn to do it?"

 

"I didn't learn. It just happened to me. You and D---- gave it to me by...by transmission, i guess. Remember back in the seventies when you all came to visit and we were driving along the cliffs above Lake Austin? Well, we were in the car...and we were rounding a curve... and i asked how you could learn to do that and D---- said, 'Just relax your abdominal muscles, breathe slowly, and stay conscious.'

 

"It was like...a blinding flash of light. Like Zen satori. The moment he said it, i knew what he meant. I...I felt it...inside myself...like something turning. I knew exactly what he meant. And i could hardly wait to get back home and try it with A---."

 

Why did i tell such a long, personal story to answer this question? Well, if hearing those simple instructions worked for my friend, maybe they will work for you.

 

THE REALITY BEHIND THE REVELATION

 

When i showed the above piece to Barry, he had the following commentary to add:

 

The incident cat describes is true but maybe not as mystical as it sounds. What happened is that I suddenly saw how what [her lover] said connected with things I already understood. As part of fitness training, I had lifted weights and done some yoga-style stretching. In the process I had learned a bit about how breathing worked to manage the tension and relaxation of muscles.

The build-up to orgasm involves a progressive increase in muscular tension. I realized that if I was more aware of where I was tensing, I could relax those muscles and maybe slow the process.

 

I noticed that along with my abdomen, my lower back and thighs would tense up as I approched orgasm. During sex I practiced relaxing those areas while holding on to the sensation I call the glow. One part of learning to relax was to keep breathing slowly and deeply, not holding my breath when orgasmic tension would start to build. I found that I could difuse the tension by taking shallower in-breaths and deeper out-breaths. One woman teased me about "blowing out birthday candles one by one."

 

Sometimes the moment that control turned out to be the most important for me was when I first entered my partner, especially if I was nervous or the whole thing was just too exciting. At those times, in addition to simple relaxation and breathing, I found that by wiggling my fingers or toes for a moment I could cue myself to loosen up if I was getting too tightly wound.

 

From the standpoint of maintaining control for an extended period, I think some positions are better than others. A position that has partners lying on their sides may work better than the so-called missionary or man-on-top position, since supporting your body push-up style makes it harder to stay loose. Woman-on-top gives you, the man, a good opportunity to stay loose, while your partner may enjoy the chance to be more active.

 

Another big help in maintaining relaxation is communication with your partner. Even with someone you don't know well, a few words about what you're trying to do gets you both on the same page. Likewise she may have some things she wants you to know.

 

Two brief stories illustrate how all this applies in real life:

 

At one time I was involved with a modest woman who often took a long time to come. She said that she liked sex, but for her it usually wasn't about orgasms. When we were able to take it slow, I could sometimes enjoy a couple of small peaks along the way, building the glow and backing off, as we worked our way to a big peak together.

 

In another stage of my life, I met a woman who was very comfortable with her body and was open about sex in general. We were able to talk about various sexual issues. For example, she had worked to control the contraction of her vaginal muscles and before long she took an interest in controlling her own orgasm response too. During sex we tried to maintain eye contact and we would signal as we got near our peaks. Sometimes we'd build and drop back together. Sometimes she'd go to orgasm while I'd hang back, and then we'd build again and both go over the edge.

 

There is no one right way to develop ejaculatory control, but by experimenting with a combination of relaxing key muscles, breathing, using certain positions, and maintaining communication, you can develop a style that works for you.

 

So there is one man's story -- and i thank him very much for taking the time to tell it.

 

"RELAX, JUST RELAX" ==end of quote

 

Seemed pretty interesting to me.

 

Peace

 

Michael