Social Closeness Measures

[liminal_luke]

This is a thread for practicing social closeness.  Let´s swap stories and strategies for coming together and feeling close, even in these times when hugging feels (and perhaps is) dangerous.  We´re social by design and need to be close, not distant.  How do we find balance when maintaining our mental health means coming together and maintaining our physical health seems to require coming apart?  

 

Please snuggle in and share. How has the coronavirus scare helped you deepen your relationship with yourself and others?  How are you reaching out and connecting with others in this time when many are feeling isolated?  If you´re having a hard time with the stress of all this, this is a thread for sharing your challenges too.  How can the Bum community help you feel emotionally supported?

 

This is not a thread for arguments.  It´s not a place for putting forth theories about the nature, origin, prevention, or treatment of coronavirus.  There are other threads for those worthy subjects.  This is a thread for love.

 

Reach out and touch someone (with your words). 

[liminal_luke]

Here´s a meditation on feeling safe from psychologist and brain expert, Rick Hanson.  It´s about noticing and really taking in the awareness that you´re (most likely) basically alright in this moment.  It works for me.

 

https://www.rickhanson.net/a-meditation-for-feeling-as-safe-as-you-reasonably-can/

[Earl Grey]

I was never part of the group chat days, but I think some get-togethers would be nice. 

 

I have a couple of chat groups with members and we have some fun exchanges there. 

 

Would anyone be open to a group chat video conference call sometime? Get away from online avatars and see people, sort of like a semi-convention. 

[thelerner]

swap stories.  sounds good.  here's a piece from my original Learn to Burn thread-

 

I headed off into dark toward the main tent a mile or two away, in a certain reverie from the event. I stopped at one of the fire art works. An out door fire pit, made of iron and cut to allow light to shine through intricate symbols. It wasn't large and there was a pile of fire wood next to it. I found a log and sat on it and watched the flames.

 

There was a poet reading and a family listening. The man I took to be the father was short, trim, wearing a dark leather vest and an outfit like a subdued bull fighter. The woman was taller, dark hair, open shirt, leather skirt. There were two kids. A boy maybe 11 and a younger sister of about 7. They had an Adams Family jibe to them, the kids less so.

 

The woman was enraptured by the poem being read. Literally swaying to the words as if they were music. I found the poem a bit trite and cliched. Finishing the poet bowed and walked away. The woman was still clearly in awe of it.

 

I told her 'You are the one who makes the poem great. It was was your listening that gave it power.' I meant it, the poem didn't effect me, but watching her reaction to it did. She smiled appreciatively. The man, I assume her husband was doing tai chi inspired movements toward the fire. Like the fire in the pit was a dance partner, pulling and pushing towards it. Franz Bardons descriptions of Fire Salamanders came to mind. The boy emulated his father, but the power of the movement wasn't as evident.

 

It's not hard to fake Tai Chi, but it can't be done balanced on one leg. There were movements he did on one leg that had flow and precision. I found his moves as interesting as his wife's reaction to the poem. When he ended I complimented him on the power of his movements and he bowed graciously.

 

Here and now they were in there element, I don't know how people like this live in the outside world. I hope they had there nitch and thrived. Before they walked away the mother gave me a small leather pouch. I thanked her and wished I had something to give in return. They left and I put it in my pocket without opening it.

 

I continue to sit, the log making a good zafu. A young woman came by. She asked me if I was the Guardian of the Flames? (Sounds like something out of a Ghostbuster movie, but honestly it happened) I said no. Seemingly ignoring my answer she asked if she could throw some rose petals into the cauldron? I said 'Yes, ofcourse.  That'd be great'.

 

We talked a little bit and she went away. I threw some logs into the fire to keep it burning. A couple comes by, they begin to kiss by the fire. I stopped them and moved them away. The woman's long dress was getting dangerously close to the flames. I guess I was a Guardian of the Flames of a sort.

[liminal_luke]

Great story, @thelerner.  Gives me a sense of what it would have been like to be there.  I´ve often thought of you as a Dao Bums bartender but Guardian of the Flames has a nicer ring to it and probably amounts to the same thing.

[thelerner]

1 hour ago, liminal_luke said:

Great story, @thelerner.  Gives me a sense of what it would have been like to be there.  I´ve often thought of you as a Dao Bums bartender..

That's been one of my greatest pleasures in Burning Man, and in real life hosting get togethers.  Playing bartender.  It's not so much the drinking part, its the uhm, adult break.  Sitting, sharing, jawing about whatever.. nothing much, just escaping from roles and life amongst friends.  

[liminal_luke]

Oops!  I created this thread before looking and it turns out @Earl Grey already created a similar one at 

Maybe his thread can be more for general community support and this one for "social closeness" in particular.

[Earl Grey]

1 hour ago, liminal_luke said:

Oops!  I created this thread before looking and it turns out @Earl Grey already created a similar one at 

Maybe his thread can be more for general community support and this one for "social closeness" in particular.

Agreed, mine is the bulletin board with requests and offers, and yours is the campfire and tent!

[liminal_luke]

Joy in the midst of craziness...