Anyone use online dating apps?

[Immortal4life]

1 minute ago, ilumairen said:

 

 

"Men Explain Things to Me" redux

 

This is a conversation. It's a two way thing, it takes two parties, to be ...you know, interactive. That's the whole point. I said explicate, not not talk down to or whatever. Don't feel so attacked🙂

[Immortal4life]

1 minute ago, ralis said:

 

You pretend to know what my qualifications are? Good luck with that!  

You're the unknowable, mystical, mystery😂

[Immortal4life]

7 minutes ago, ralis said:

 

Actually, your narrative is naive and informed by male patriarchal propaganda. You will not win this argument!

I dunno man, I'm doing pretty good against all of you so far, I'm a pretty clever guy. We'll see.

[ralis]

Just now, Immortal4life said:

You're the unknowable, mystical, mystery😂

 

I grew up in a small town in Ohio full of assholes. I completely understand the mentality of patriarchal imperialism and the cause of problems dating back well before the Axial Age.

[ralis]

3 minutes ago, Immortal4life said:

I dunno man, I'm doing pretty good against all of you so far, I'm a pretty clever guy. We'll see.

 

Being clever has nothing to do with it given that your narrative is full of non-sequiturs.

[ilumairen]

22 minutes ago, Immortal4life said:

There is a difference in how Men and Women think though if you interact with them a lot and pay close attention. 

 

Men's emotions follows their logic. Women's logic follows their emotion.

 

So a man would typically make a statement like this..."Things are good, therefore I feel good."

 

But for a woman a statement that would make a lot more sense would be something more like...."I feel good, therefore things are good."

 

 

Since we're at the daobums, arguably a spiritual forum, I would suggest there are most likely men here whose happiness is also not dependent upon outward curcumstance. Recognition of the inner "source," and it's natural expression is something many aspire to. Perhaps you've simply met more women who are naturally in touch with this than men, and maybe some of the men here could share their own experience to help broaden your horizons. 

[Immortal4life]

23 minutes ago, ilumairen said:

 

How much energy and effort are you imaging this bit of banter is expanding, and more to the point, why would you imagine this?

 

 

"Men Explain Things to Me" redux

 

 

This is entirely dependent on how you define, categorize, and envision both.

 

 

Define the terms. 

 

Would frustration and anger count as emotion? Would knowing the layout for easiest flow of household chores be logical? Where is the line between emotion and logic in navigating interpersonal relationships? And how do you rate your own response to the attractiveness of the females you are considering in the opening posts of this thread? Is this attraction only logical, or is their some underlying and perhaps unrecognized emotional component?

 

Attraction in the sense I use it, is initial attraction, so it's the biological instunctual part. After attraction comes connection, comfort, arousal, etc. These are separate things we can categorize more finely if you like.

 

Of course the layout of household chores is a logical process. As I mentioned before though, I 'm talking about motivation behind it. What's your motivation for cleaning your house?

 

Here's a good article touching on this

https://www-washingtonexaminer-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/stop-telling-men-theyre-defective-women?amp_js_v=a3&amp_gsa=1&_amp=true&usqp=mq331AQFKAGwASA%3D#aoh=15871378364973&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&amp_tf=From %1%24s&ampshare=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.washingtonexaminer.com%2Fopinion%2Fstop-telling-men-theyre-defective-women

"

One reason for the relentless male-bashing is that women have been taught to believe the sexes are the same and, as a result, assume that when men don't behave the way women do, men are somehow failing.

Take this article in the Wall Street Journal headlined, "Fairness in Housework Doesn't Mean 50/50." At first glance, it appears more even-handed than many other articles on the topic of how housework and childcare get divvied up between husbands and wives. But you can tell where the blame is headed at the opening of the essay, when the author, Eve Rodsky, recounts a story from an outing she took with her friends, all of whom are married with kids.

 

Apparently, all the women received a text or a phone call from their husbands (although actually, some of the calls were from mothers-in-law or babysitters, thus negating Rodsky's argument that it’s an issue of male ineptitude) who were calling to get their wives’ input on whatever it was they were trying to manage at home.

“Why doesn’t ‘equal’ ever seem to work when it comes to sharing family duties in our household?” asks Rodsky. “Women would feel less overwhelmed by doing the majority of domestic duties if men fully ‘owned’ those tasks they do take on.”

 

Or here’s another article, this time about research that shows the more wives earn, the rockier their marriages tend to be. Rather than study the complex reasons for this, the author makes numerous references to men’s “egos” and the notion that society’s backward attitudes are to blame:

“When wives earn more than their husbands, some men just can't handle it.”

“Even in 2019, old-fashioned views on marriage prevail.”

“Oh, how fragile is the ego of a man. We must never let him feel like a bonsai in a grove of California redwoods—no, he must always see himself as a towering tree, magnificent in comparison with his female partner.”

This bitter condescension toward men is unfounded, not to mention counterproductive. No relationship can flourish when one partner views the other with such disdain.

Men and women do not parent the same way because they’re not interchangeable beings. If your husband needs help managing the home front, it’s not because he’s not “owning” the task. Most men are simply not as invested as most women in the details of what goes on at home, nor do they spend as much time inside of it. Moreover, men’s brains are more linear or single-focused, so they’re not going to multitask as well as women. And it’s unfair to expect them to.

Men also do a boatload of housework and children-related tasks that rarely, if ever, get mentioned. It is mostly husbands who take care of yard work, the gutters, basement cleaning and leaks, car maintenance, the driveway, the roof, and running the children around to their sporting events. None of that even touches upon the "Honey Do" lists wives give their husbands: Fixing all house repairs, hanging TVs, changing the filter, picking up the dead mice or other vermin, putting up Halloween and Christmas decorations, fireplace cleaning, assembling new furniture, and painting the house

 

Bottom line: Men are not defective women. But that’s what the culture teaches through films, television (even commercials!), and articles. Sadly, this belief system has seeped into women’s souls, causing them to believe men are weak or lazy when they don’t do things the way women do them or when they don’t react the way women react.

Women who harbor this mindset will never be successful in love. Only women who understand the unique nature of men, who don't blame men whenever something goes wrong, who harbor compassion rather than resentment toward men, and who are able to bring out the best in men will ultimately win at love.

 

 

Edited April 17, 2020 by Immortal4life

[Immortal4life]

1 minute ago, ilumairen said:

 

Since we're at the daobums, arguably a spiritual forum, I would suggest there are most likely men here whose happiness is also not dependent upon outward curcumstance. Recognition of the inner "source," and it's natural expression is something many aspire to. Perhaps you've simply met more women who are naturally in touch with this than men, and maybe some of the men here could share their own experience to help broaden your horizons. 

This is pure idealism, and I would suggest veering into outright fantasy

[ilumairen]

41 minutes ago, Earl Grey said:

 

That's offensive...Oasis, yeesh.

 

...at least it wasn't Nickelback.

 

 

Sorry, I couldn't resist...

[Immortal4life]

7 minutes ago, ralis said:

 

I grew up in a small town in Ohio full of assholes. I completely understand the mentality of patriarchal imperialism and the cause of problems dating back well before the Axial Age.

I'm sorry you were so hurt by your upbringing

 

You may be right. But perhaps you should look inside yourself. Usually when you believe everyone are assholes, usually you're the asshole.

 

Perhaps if you contemplate my posts more you can improve your social skills and get along better and understand others better.

[Immortal4life]

6 minutes ago, ilumairen said:

 

Since we're at the daobums, arguably a spiritual forum, I would suggest there are most likely men here whose happiness is also not dependent upon outward curcumstance. Recognition of the inner "source," and it's natural expression is something many aspire to. Perhaps you've simply met more women who are naturally in touch with this than men, and maybe some of the men here could share their own experience to help broaden your horizons. 

Honestly this post pretty much proves my point

[ilumairen]

17 minutes ago, Immortal4life said:

This is a conversation. It's a two way thing, it takes two parties, to be ...you know, interactive. That's the whole point. I said explicate, not not talk down to or whatever. Don't feel so attacked🙂

 

Attacked?

 

How imaginative. 

 

Is this part if the issue then? You imagining emotions not being felt by the person you're interacting with?

 

If you are actually curious, my present emotion is amusement - which I would have assumed would be clear given the amount of laughing emoticons I've used here.

 

Unless, of course, you get to speak for me, owing to what's between your legs, and any indication I actually present will be dismissed for the furtherance of your chosen narrative. 

 

[ilumairen]

6 minutes ago, Immortal4life said:

Honestly this post pretty much proves my point

 

Your point is women are more in touch with their spiritual natures?

[ralis]

7 minutes ago, Immortal4life said:

Attraction is in the sense I use it, is initial attraction, so it's the biological part. After attraction comes connection, comfort, arousal, etc. These are separate things we can categorize more finely if you like.

 

Of course the layout of household chores is a logical process. As I mentioned before though, I 'm talking about motivation behind it. What's your motivation for cleaning your house?

 

Here's a good article touching on this

https://www-washingtonexaminer-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/stop-telling-men-theyre-defective-women?amp_js_v=a3&amp_gsa=1&_amp=true&usqp=mq331AQFKAGwASA%3D#aoh=15871378364973&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&amp_tf=From %1%24s&ampshare=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.washingtonexaminer.com%2Fopinion%2Fstop-telling-men-theyre-defective-women

"

One reason for the relentless male-bashing is that women have been taught to believe the sexes are the same and, as a result, assume that when men don't behave the way women do, men are somehow failing.

Take this article in the Wall Street Journal headlined, "Fairness in Housework Doesn't Mean 50/50." At first glance, it appears more even-handed than many other articles on the topic of how housework and childcare get divvied up between husbands and wives. But you can tell where the blame is headed at the opening of the essay, when the author, Eve Rodsky, recounts a story from an outing she took with her friends, all of whom are married with kids.

 

Apparently, all the women received a text or a phone call from their husbands (although actually, some of the calls were from mothers-in-law or babysitters, thus negating Rodsky's argument that it’s an issue of male ineptitude) who were calling to get their wives’ input on whatever it was they were trying to manage at home.

“Why doesn’t ‘equal’ ever seem to work when it comes to sharing family duties in our household?” asks Rodsky. “Women would feel less overwhelmed by doing the majority of domestic duties if men fully ‘owned’ those tasks they do take on.”

 

Or here’s another article, this time about research that shows the more wives earn, the rockier their marriages tend to be. Rather than study the complex reasons for this, the author makes numerous references to men’s “egos” and the notion that society’s backward attitudes are to blame:

“When wives earn more than their husbands, some men just can't handle it.”

“Even in 2019, old-fashioned views on marriage prevail.”

“Oh, how fragile is the ego of a man. We must never let him feel like a bonsai in a grove of California redwoods—no, he must always see himself as a towering tree, magnificent in comparison with his female partner.”

This bitter condescension toward men is unfounded, not to mention counterproductive. No relationship can flourish when one partner views the other with such disdain.

Men and women do not parent the same way because they’re not interchangeable beings. If your husband needs help managing the home front, it’s not because he’s not “owning” the task. Most men are simply not as invested as most women in the details of what goes on at home, nor do they spend as much time inside of it. Moreover, men’s brains are more linear or single-focused, so they’re not going to multitask as well as women. And it’s unfair to expect them to.

Men also do a boatload of housework and children-related tasks that rarely, if ever, get mentioned. It is mostly husbands who take care of yard work, the gutters, basement cleaning and leaks, car maintenance, the driveway, the roof, and running the children around to their sporting events. None of that even touches upon the "Honey Do" lists wives give their husbands: Fixing all house repairs, hanging TVs, changing the filter, picking up the dead mice or other vermin, putting up Halloween and Christmas decorations, fireplace cleaning, assembling new furniture, and painting the house

 

Bottom line: Men are not defective women. But that’s what the culture teaches through films, television (even commercials!), and articles. Sadly, this belief system has seeped into women’s souls, causing them to believe men are weak or lazy when they don’t do things the way women do them or when they don’t react the way women react.

Women who harbor this mindset will never be successful in love. Only women who understand the unique nature of men, who don't blame men whenever something goes wrong, who harbor compassion rather than resentment toward men, and who are able to bring out the best in men will ultimately win at love.

 

 

 

 

Washington Examiner is a right wing news organization, based on lies, right wing ideology as seen in the above article. It comes off like a religious diatribe against women! Seriously shows where your mindset is toward women.

[Immortal4life]

Just now, ilumairen said:

If you are actually curious, my present emotion is amusement - which I would have assumed would be clear given the amount of laughing emoticons I've used here.

 

You don't have to try so hard. You don't need to post so many emoticons. It's ok. Don't worry you don't have to convince anyone of your emotional state.

[Immortal4life]

1 minute ago, ralis said:

 

Washington Examiner is a right wing news organization, based on lies, right wing ideology as seen in the above article. It comes off like a religious diatribe against women! Seriously shows where your mindset is toward women.

The best way to learn about someone is by interacting with them yourself and getting to know them.

[ilumairen]

24 minutes ago, Immortal4life said:

I dunno man, I'm doing pretty good against all of you so far, I'm a pretty clever guy. We'll see.

 

Oh my stars!

 

So you view this discussion as some sort of battle where you're basically "holding your own"?

[Immortal4life]

Just now, ilumairen said:

 

Oh my stars!

 

So you view this discussion as some sort of battle where you're basically "holding your own"?

At this point more like kicking ass😁

[ralis]

12 minutes ago, Immortal4life said:

I'm sorry you were so hurt by your upbringing

 

You may be right. But perhaps you should look inside yourself. Usually when you believe everyone are assholes, usually you're the asshole.

 

Perhaps if you contemplate my posts more you can improve your social skills and get along better and understand others better.

 

You are making inferences which is not logical, but proceeds from an incorrect conclusion. I thought men were rational and beyond that?

 

I didn't call you an asshole, but you surmised that I am. I would advise reading my posts more carefully before you leap into faulty summations of my arguments.

[Immortal4life]

1 minute ago, ralis said:

 

You are making inferences which is not logical, but proceeds from an incorrect conclusion. I thought men were rational and beyond that?

 

I didn't call you an asshole, but you surmised that I am. I would advise reading my posts more carefully before you leap into faulty summations of my arguments.

Yoi're losing it buddy, totally lost.

 

No one said men were so rational.or beyond anything.

 

And no one thought you called me an asshole. You did however say your town was full of assholes. This says more about you and your own social skills than it does about your hometown. 

 

Seriously though, contemplate and study my conversations and you might just learn to be more socially well adjusted and get along with people better.

[ilumairen]

20 minutes ago, Immortal4life said:

 

Attraction in the sense I use it, is initial attraction, so it's the biological instunctual part. After attraction comes connection, comfort, arousal, etc. These are separate things we can categorize more finely if you like.

 

Motivated by underlying emotional and instinctual causes...

 

20 minutes ago, Immortal4life said:

Of course the layout of household chores is a logical process. As I mentioned before though, I 'm talking about motivation behind it. What's your motivation for cleaning your house?

 

It needs done, and since it needs done efficiency is in order.

 

And please don't bother with the long quotes, either share your own thoughts and ideas and reasoning,  or understand your sharing will largely be ignored by me. 

 

[ralis]

2 minutes ago, Immortal4life said:

Yoi're losing it buddy, totally lost.

 

No one said men were so rational.or beyond anything.

 

And no one thought you called me an asshole. You did however say your town was full of assholes. This says more about you and your own social skills than it does about your hometown. 

 

Seriously though, contemplate and study my conversations and you might just learn to be more socially well adjusted and get along with people better.

 

By applying correct social skills, whatever the hell that means, I will have marvelous loving relationships with assholes. 

[Immortal4life]

9 minutes ago, ilumairen said:

 

Oh my stars!

 

So you view this discussion as some sort of battle where you're basically "holding your own"?

Ok so for the guys reading this. I'm gonna kind of break the 3rd wall here. Do you notice how in the beginning she was able to play it pretty cool. She was playing it very indifferent. She was like "you're a bore" etc.

 

This is the turning point in the interaction. 'Oh my stars!" You see I've now turned on her emotions, and the good thing about emotions is they can be flipped around. I got her to emotionally react and you can always work with emotions. Indifference though you cant do much with. So I flipped her into emotionality, which deep down she actually enjoys much more than indifference or bleh.

[Immortal4life]

3 minutes ago, ilumairen said:

 

 

 

It needs done, and since it needs done efficiency is in order.

 

 

 

 

This is another great example of how I flipped the frame on her. If you go back you'll see she was demanding me explain my motivations or something about household chores. What I did though is flip it around on her and now she is explaining her reasoning to me.

[ilumairen]

11 minutes ago, Immortal4life said:

At this point more like kicking ass😁

 

I read a study recently which highlighted men often feel better about their performance on tests, even when women outperformed them. 

 

You can certainly feel good about this discussion if you wish, but to assume the kicking of ass may be a bit premature. By what parameters do you define "kicking ass"?