Is turning 40 all downhill?

[Goldleaf]

Hi everyone. I've just turned 40. All the medical and tcm articled I've read have said that your testosterone starts declining and your jing starts declining. Is this true? I don't know exactly why, this makes me feel really depressed. I suppose because I'd like to be in a healthy sexual relationship with a partner and not have to worry about Jing loss or other problems and then she break up with me.

 

Especially Any Daobums males who have turned 40 and feel like sharing their thoughts and experiences would be most appreciated .

 

Regards

Gl

[Earl Grey]

12 minutes ago, Goldleaf said:

Hi everyone. I've just turned 40. All the medical and tcm articled I've read have said that your testosterone starts declining and your jing starts declining. Is this true? I don't know exactly why, this makes me feel really depressed. I suppose because I'd like to be in a healthy sexual relationship with a partner and not have to worry about Jing loss or other problems and then she break up with me.

 

Especially Any Daobums males who have turned 40 and feel like sharing their thoughts and experiences would be most appreciated .

 

Regards

Gl

Not necessarily true. I saw many people who went the opposite of this, even non-cultivators.

[liminal_luke]

Life´s not over at 40.  It´s over at 54.  

 

Actually, no.  Some of the good stuff does start to decline with age (though less than people think, depending on lifestyle choices). But there are opportunities for growth at every stage of life.  Statistically speaking, happiness peaks very late in life, in a person´s 70´s I believe.  Twenty year old guys tend to believe that testosterone is everything; guess I can´t blame them for playing to their strengths.  Oldsters know better. 

Edited July 7, 2020 by liminal_luke

[doc benway]

You are going to die, 

You are going to lose jing in your own good time.

We have the opportunity to make the best of this moment and every other.

The one who is afraid to let go needs compassion and kindness. It makes change easier and opens us up to new possibilities.

[Gerard]

5 hours ago, steve said:

 

You are going to die, 

 

The following quotes by Anaïs Nin come in handy:

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.” 

"I must be a mermaid, Rango. I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living.”

 

"People living deeply have no fear of death.” 

 

To the OP: practice more and worry less!

 

Edited July 7, 2020 by Gerard

[freeform]

7 hours ago, Goldleaf said:

your jing starts declining [at 40]. Is this true?

Well that’s actually a pretty optimistic view!
 

Classically your Jing actually starts declining right after puberty 

 

So there’s nothing to worry about! Jing is there to be used for life purposes. Just be moderate and stick to the natural rhythms and you’ll age gracefully  

 

 

[Encephalon]

MY T levels were pretty low as I crept into my late 40s.  I experienced the typical low T symptoms - lack of ambition, mild depression, wallowing, and a brief bout of extra special fondness for vicodin. What I mostly noticed was a failure to gain muscle even though I was an obsessive fitness fanatic working at a gym.  My musculature eventually got too strong for my connective tissue and I suffered several injuries.

my wife dragged me to the hospital to have my sperm cells checked out when we were having trouble having a child.  My swimmers were fine, but my T levels were quite low, 270 I believe.  I was eating way too much carbohydrate, still a sugar junkie, consuming plenty of dairy, the greatest source of estrogen in the American food supply. 

I cut out a lot of the sugar and dairy and researched everything else I could do to improve T levels.  My OTC cocktail -

 

Testo Plus - https://www.pipingrock.com/fenugreek/testoplus-fenugreek-extract-310-mg-90-capsules-3531?prd=D0000J&prisp=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIhLWAou296gIVEPDACh0K9QTAEAQYASABEgJF8_D_BwE

 

boron - https://www.pipingrock.com/mineral-products/triple-action-boron-complex-3-mg-200-tablets-5962

 

zinc - https://www.pipingrock.com/zinc/zinc-picolinate-high-absorption-zinc-50-mg-180-capsules-8611?keywords=zinc picolinate&qid=1594218184

 

magnesium - 250 mg (as mag. oxide) 

 

My T levels now hover around 660.  I gained more muscle in my fifties than in my forties.  I turn 60 in September.  Problem solved.  

 

The forties are wonderful.  They are the old age of youth.  The fifties are the youth of old age.  I'm having a blast.

 

[Encephalon]

Eliminate hot showers.  Get on a first name basis with cold showers to support T level increase. 

And if you're not on zen12 during your meditation practice, I can't recommend it enough for increasing your stress threshold beyond what you think is even possible. 

https://zen12.com/

 

Edited July 8, 2020 by Encephalon

[thelerner]

5 hours ago, Encephalon said:

The forties are wonderful.  They are the old age of youth.  The fifties are the youth of old age.  I'm having a blast.

 

I like that.  

[moment]

On 7/7/2020 at 12:12 AM, Gerard said:

The following quotes by Anaïs Nin come in handy:

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.” 

"I must be a mermaid, Rango. I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living.”

 

"People living deeply have no fear of death.” 

 

To the OP: practice more and worry less!

 

"To the OP: practice more and worry less!"  ---- Yes

[Nungali]

On 07/07/2020 at 10:19 AM, Goldleaf said:

Hi everyone. I've just turned 40. All the medical and tcm articled I've read have said that your testosterone starts declining and your jing starts declining. Is this true? I don't know exactly why, this makes me feel really depressed. I suppose because I'd like to be in a healthy sexual relationship with a partner and not have to worry about Jing loss or other problems and then she break up with me.

 

Especially Any Daobums males who have turned 40 and feel like sharing their thoughts and experiences would be most appreciated .

 

Regards

Gl

 

 

What happened to ;  "life begins at 40"  ? 

 

https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/life-begins-at-forty.html

 

I wont describe all the good things that come with turning 40  ... I will leave it to you to discover them bit by bit 

 

Just enjoy it ... until you hit your 'Saturn return' around  56   ( O .... M .... G ......   !     -  but I survived  it !  )

[Goldleaf]

Thank you guys for all the kind and generous replies. Will reply on more detail shortly. I don't actually feel that much different since turning 40. I guess my main concern was with dating. A lot of the dating sites I have seen, the younger girls state that they don't want to date any guys over 40, while the ladies in my age range mostly look like they haven't taken good care of themselves! But maybe I am choosing the worst way to meet healthy girls near my own age.

[RiverSnake]

If life was worthless after 40, then Taoists would not emphasize Longevity. 

[Encephalon]

Frank Zappa on dating advice - "If you want to get laid, go to college.  If you want an education, get to the library."

 

Clearly, the most plentiful environment for finding dates is the local junior college.  Skip the day classes and sign up for one evening class, where you are sure to meet people who are committed to improving their lot, taking care of themselves, and looking for friends.

 

And then the cold, hard truth of it cuts through my morning fog - covid-19 renders this advice pointless.

 

[liminal_luke]

On 11/7/2020 at 5:46 PM, Goldleaf said:

 A lot of the dating sites I have seen, the younger girls state that they don't want to date any guys over 40, while the ladies in my age range mostly look like they haven't taken good care of themselves! 

 

Fourty year old single women might well say the same about guys in their age range.  Then again, most is not all.  Perhaps you´re the exception who will find the exception.  Or maybe, even better, you´ll find a wonderful woman who "looks like she doesn´t take good care of herself" but has a wonderful smile and gets your sense of humor and is quirky in all the right ways.  

[Cleansox]

17 hours ago, Goldleaf said:

 the younger girls state that they don't want to date any guys over 40,

Why should they? 

Would you have dated a woman over 40 when in your 20-ties?

[Earl Grey]

Eh, I've seen women date men in their 40s when they were in their 20s after swearing they wouldn't... until they actually met guys who they liked. Some in a yoga class, some hiking, some at a bar, and the main reason they got together is because they were mature, were not creeps, and didn't care about rejection either.

 

The big one, of course, was maturity, because at 40, a man just might be mature enough for a 23 year-old woman, according to my female friends. 

 

I also would emphasize avoiding dating apps and sites and just go out and meet women...more than a few times, as a guy in his mid-late 30s, I've found young university girls in their early 20s show interest in me knowing full well my age, mostly because of my free-spirited nature. Looking young for my age doesn't hurt, either. 

Edited July 12, 2020 by Earl Grey

[Cleansox]

Yes, but it is also likely it is a dude trying to feel young en route of having sex with a younger woman, which is probably why women state such a thing on an app. 

Meeting IRL is different (and I am 10 years older than my whife for 16 years and was hopelessly immature in my 20-ties).😁 

[Earl Grey]

17 minutes ago, Cleansox said:

Yes, but it is also likely it is a dude trying to feel young en route of having sex with a younger woman, which is probably why women state such a thing on an app. 

Meeting IRL is different (and I am 10 years older than my whife for 16 years and was hopelessly immature in my 20-ties).😁 

 

I think I've been fairly lucky to date both younger and older women who age well physically or are just plain fun--although when their emotional outbursts happen, then that's a different story. 

[Nungali]

23 hours ago, Goldleaf said:

Thank you guys for all the kind and generous replies. Will reply on more detail shortly. I don't actually feel that much different since turning 40. I guess my main concern was with dating. A lot of the dating sites I have seen, the younger girls state that they don't want to date any guys over 40, while the ladies in my age range mostly look like they haven't taken good care of themselves! But maybe I am choosing the worst way to meet healthy girls near my own age.

 

Probably .  I have  never gone near a dating site , or anything like it ,  yet my last GF was less than half my age (and remember I am well  over 40)  .  And I very much look like I 'haven't taken good care of myself ' .

 

here is a little story , regarding life after 40 ;

 

My blood tests started showing weird stuff years back ,  complications with bone marrow  and red and white blood cell stuff , went to cancer clinic had a variety of tests and consults  (this was part of the Saturn return  at 56 y.o. stuff)  and was told I might have another 20 years , or if it flares up, the end could come quickly .  After a while back got bad, heart misfiring, kidneys acting up .... etc etc . slowing down, contracting, had to give up training, surfing, going bush, camping  .... .  Okay this is probably it , but I wasnt worried, I have had a great life, am appreciative and thankful for it and ready to go . That stage put me into an ecstatic  even more appreciative state , everyday was a miracle  (still is ) , but thats another story . 

 

After a while my back got so painful and debilitating I went to a Chiropractor who wouldnt touch me until I had full set of scans . he was then ; " Well, no wonder, several places in your spine are out ; pressing on cardiac relay nerve , kidney regulation, etc etc  ... massage manipulate crack, after a few months it all starts going away, I am feeling great , maybe I am not going to die yet ?  Then I got together with A (somehow ) ,    areal stunner (so much so  that it caused a problem - peeps be stoppin and gawpin in the street , men being jealous, female friends outraged,   she was 'kavorka ' !  *   Also had 3 boys under 5 .

 

So here I am ;  waiting,  potentially,  to bump myself off if pain gets too bad or if  I become  too much of an imposition  to all of a sudden having this GF and a family of 3 kids . I have never had my own and thought my life experience  wasnt going to include that.

 

So, one never knows !  My life certainly didnt end or becoming boring or lacking  after 40 .  It might have if I was in a stagnant situation , or relied on silly things like 'dating apps' .

 

 

* 

 

Spoiler

 

 

 

[Nungali]

5 hours ago, Earl Grey said:

 

I think I've been fairly lucky to date both younger and older women who age well physically or are just plain fun--although when their emotional outbursts happen, then that's a different story. 

 

And when that happens with one more than half your age  ... who is also Latino     !  (i forgot to mention, she was also Latino  )

 

Hoooo boy !

 

 

 

 

 

[old3bob]

more like all uphill for the body,  btw. there are examples of  women who will marry a lot older guys if you know what.  Michael Douglass makes more than 50 k year, otherwise....