My will is too weak

[Scholar]

Sorry guys for asking question and just vanishing but what happened is that I found my own answer and Im working on that. So I changed rooms(mine has some mold, resulting in chronic allergies), stopped the habit creating stories in my head, trying to stop overthinking and stopped masturbation. With the energy those changes gave me I was able to get into two new habits. Reading books(2-3 different books a day), cold showers and meditation. Now Im mostly relaxed and my willpower is getting stronger each day.

 

Thanks everyone for the answers !

 

 

 

[manitou]

Congratulations to you, Scholar.  You may be going through the process of self-awareness, where the decision is made to change one's life; to take responsibility for everything 'we' have manifested, to stop blaming anyone, to stop judging anyone, to realize the love for life and see the design behind it.  To have the ability to admit a mistake, and to apologize for it.

 

 And once we don't have all the encumbering baggage, it's possible to start asking the important question - Who Am I?  Really?  I'm guessing this is the very question that Gautama Siddartha went in on to become the Buddha - finally realizing, at the very basis, who we are other than the conditioned ego identities that we compile through life.  At this point, it's merely the process of peeling the onion.  (An apt expression, as the closer you get to the core, the more tears are shed).

 

Very best wishes to you.  I'm glad you found your way to TDB's.

[Scholar]

13 minutes ago, manitou said:

Congratulations to you, Scholar.  You may be going through the process of self-awareness, where the decision is made to change one's life; to take responsibility for everything 'we' have manifested, to stop blaming anyone, to stop judging anyone, to realize the love for life and see the design behind it.  To have the ability to admit a mistake, and to apologize for it.

 

 And once we don't have all the encumbering baggage, it's possible to start asking the important question - Who Am I?  Really?  I'm guessing this is the very question that Gautama Siddartha went in on to become the Buddha - finally realizing, at the very basis, who we are other than the conditioned ego identities that we compile through life.  At this point, it's merely the process of peeling the onion.  (An apt expression, as the closer you get to the core, the more tears are shed).

 

Very best wishes to you.  I'm glad you found your way to TDB's.

Thanks for those very empowering words, I appreciate it a lot and it motivates me to keep on that direction ! I wish you the best. 

[Limahong]

1 hour ago, Scholar said:

With the energy those changes gave me I was able to get into two new habits. Reading books(2-3 different books a day), cold showers and meditation. Now I'm mostly relaxed and my willpower is getting stronger each day.

 

Hi Scholar,

 

Just great!

 

Que sera sera...?

 

 

No... you have made it!

 

Develop the willpower also ~ to help others after you.

 

- Anand

 

[Scholar]

30 minutes ago, Limahong said:

 

Hi Scholar,

 

Just great!

 

Que sera sera...?

 

 

No... you have made it!

 

Develop the willpower also ~ to help others after you.

 

- Anand

 

Haha, thanks ! I hope I can help others in the future

[Limahong]

3 minutes ago, Scholar said:

Haha, thanks ! I hope I can help others in the future.

 

You surely can with such willpower developing.

If you will/cannot ~ I WILL skin you alive.

Hehe.

 

 

[Scholar]

Just now, Limahong said:

 

You surely can with such willpower developing.

If you will/cannot ~ I WILL skin you alive.

Hehe.

 

 

Thats scary and motivating at the same time haha

[Limahong]

1 minute ago, Scholar said:

That's scary and motivating at the same time haha

 

But of course.

So?

 

[Scholar]

2 minutes ago, Limahong said:

 

But of course.

So?

 

So I WILL help others

[Limahong]

2 minutes ago, Scholar said:

So I WILL help others

 

Just great! 

WILLingly? 

[Scholar]

6 minutes ago, Limahong said:

 

Just great! 

WILLingly? 

Yes!

[Limahong]

3 minutes ago, Scholar said:

Yes!

 

That's my Bro! 

[Master Logray]

14 hours ago, Scholar said:

Sorry guys for asking question and just vanishing but what happened is that I found my own answer and Im working on that. So I changed rooms(mine has some mold, resulting in chronic allergies), stopped the habit creating stories in my head, trying to stop overthinking and stopped masturbation. With the energy those changes gave me I was able to get into two new habits. Reading books(2-3 different books a day), cold showers and meditation. Now Im mostly relaxed and my willpower is getting stronger each day.

 

Thanks everyone for the answers !

 

 

 

 

Being Taoist, we are against cold showers, unless you are doing it under noon day sun directly under the tropics.  

 

Personally I feel without a strong will is part of you for your whole life.  It is good to have a stronger will.   But spending so much efforts to completely change your personality or change your person as a whole, is it worth it?   Does it justify the potential costs?

 

 

 

[Limahong]

1 hour ago, Master Logray said:

But spending so much efforts to completely change your personality or change your person as a whole, is it worth it?   Does it justify the potential costs?

 

15 hours ago, Scholar said:

Thanks for those very empowering words, I appreciate it a lot and it motivates me to keep on that direction !

 

Hi Scholar,

 

Are you going to defend your position re Master Logray's?

 

- Anand

 

[Scholar]

1 hour ago, Master Logray said:

 

Being Taoist, we are against cold showers, unless you are doing it under noon day sun directly under the tropics.  

 

Personally I feel without a strong will is part of you for your whole life.  It is good to have a stronger will.   But spending so much efforts to completely change your personality or change your person as a whole, is it worth it?   Does it justify the potential costs?

 

 

 

Thanks for the answer.

 

About the cold showers, since Im not really experienced with taoism I cant talk much about it. But presume you re talking about the idea of balance ?(just like some chinese medicine books are against eating spicy food at summer). If you look at that way, yes, you are right. But what about the balance betwen asceptism and hedonism ? In that perspective those showers bring me more balance, since I used to have a strong aversion of everything that didnt give me a lot pleasure. Even small pleasures used to suffering . Now I appreciate those tiny pleasures more and find life much more fulfiling.

 

I dont really agree that lack of willpower is an personality trait at all. I think its an " anti personality " trait, since it reduced my capacity of self-expression and having my own thoughts. Its much easier to be what everyone expects you to be than to be yourself. Being yourself requires courage and courage requires willpower. So in my perspective, yes , it justify the potential costs.

 

 

 

[manitou]

29 minutes ago, Scholar said:

 

I dont really agree that lack of willpower is an personality trait at all. I think its an " anti personality " trait, since it reduced my capacity of self-expression and having my own thoughts. Its much easier to be what everyone expects you to be than to be yourself. Being yourself requires courage and courage requires willpower. So in my perspective, yes , it justify the potential costs.

 

 

 

 

Will power is a funny thing to think about.  There are times when Will Power can get us what we want.  Especially in younger life, when we're amassing our fortunes and putting our families together.

 

Later in life, once all the kids are gone and we start searching for meaningful answers, Will Power becomes less and less important.  In fact, at the end of the line is Acceptance of What Is.  Will power isn't necessary.  One could say it requires will power to walk the road to enlightenment, but it seems that once the desire has come to the heart, will power is no longer needed.  The desire to grow now seems to spring from within, and enlightenment becomes the only thing of importance.

 

When you say courage needs will power, I tend to agree with that.  The incidents that require real courage are those when we have to say something to someone, and we're afraid to, for some reason.  The longer a person lets the unspoken words fester, the more out of whack we get.  The more co-dependent the relationship gets.  True honesty is clarifying and eliminates the need to remember untruths.  We become unencumbered.

 

So, maybe the real question is 'is enlightenment worth it?'  We do have to change much about ourselves to achieve it.  Self realization, IMO, is a necessary component - and that means going in to our personalities and seeing what makes us tick, dropping the blame, dropping the excuses; in addition to riding herd on our own thoughts and striving to keep them 'high'.  (Or, as the Nazarene said, cast your eyes high upon the hill)

 

Edited August 21, 2020 by manitou

[Limahong]

5 hours ago, Scholar said:

Its much easier to be what everyone expects you to be than to be yourself.

 

4 hours ago, manitou said:

True honesty is clarifying and eliminates the need to remember untruths.  We become unencumbered.

 

Thank you both for the clarity.