Is life long celibacy even possible ???

[Master Logray]

On 9/2/2020 at 12:08 PM, exorcist_1699 said:

Passions and sex drives are so strong, especially those in our youth, that only an emptied ,mindless Mind with no intention can counteract and sublimate them  . All minds are   the tools of those passions and drives, yet thinking that they are working for  the  interest of  their own selves,  their real owners  ( in fact the host is  outcast to a  hidden corner of the body  where   people  sometime  call it  dantian , sometime  call it  the Magic Gateway ..,  it  is a guest ,  the false self , who is  really in charge ) . If people are in capable of bringing  back  their real Self  , then no matter  how hard they try living away from the crowd , on the  high mountain, into  a deep cave..  all are  just some kinds of  formalism in  life , to the end , futile.

 

It is a chicken and egg problem.  Passions and sex drives can be dealt with by stilling the mind.  But stilling the mind needs to deal with passions and sex drives.  

[idiot_stimpy]

All I will say is if you decide to be celibate, expect that it will deeply move energy within the unconscious mind. You better be prepared for the battle that confronts you as it could lead to excessive behaviors/emotions surfacing that are completely unexpected and can tip you off balance.

 

Will you overcome these obstacles or be dragged down with them.

Edited September 18, 2020 by idiot_stimpy

[f-man]

Quote

Is life long celibacy even possible ???

f

Edited January 10 by f-man

[arthur]

I've been trying to retain since 5 years ago. I kinda feel that the real question really lies in whether one can control their sexual urges long enough for the rest of the life, whenever it arises. 

 

Which links with one's ability to control nocturnal emission, assuming that the circumstance is already conducive to retention e.g being single. When one retains long enough, it will feel like retaining is effortless and over even longer period of time, will make a person feel asexual.

 

But when nocturnal emission happens, one experiences chaser effect. The chaser effect usually gets more serious the longer one retains. At least from my experience. When that happens, there are changes that takes place in our body and also circumstances.

One of the main changes is the revitalization of sexual urges. So if one can stop nocturnal emission completely, the way to celibacy should be effortless.

 

 

[exorcist_1699]

On 2/18/2021 at 4:05 PM, arthur said:

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But when nocturnal emission happens, one experiences chaser effect. The chaser effect usually gets more serious the longer one retains. At least from my experience. When that happens, there are changes that takes place in our body and also circumstances.

One of the main changes is the revitalization of sexual urges. So if one can stop nocturnal emission completely, the way to celibacy should be effortless.

 

 

 

The result of sex intercourse is same as nocturnal emission  as long as leakage of jing does happen. It  makes no differences whether it happened  in  sane state or deep sleep; or  whether it  is accompanied with wet dream or without wet dream ; or, whether via your own hands or via other sex's body.  In fact , people who adopt  the paying-attention-to-the-dantian way of cultivation  are especially  entangled by this problem for  the more jing and qi they have accumulated  at their abdomen, the more momentum /urge that force them to release it  , if not in awake state, then it likely in their dreams.

 

The sex drive will disguise as your own self , making you think that you are acting at your own will , for your own interest .

 

 

 

Edited February 21, 2021 by exorcist_1699

[Master Logray]

Nocturnal emission is not the only problem.  When one progresses in cultivation, the sex urge creates a much bigger problem than normal persons.  During higher stages of cultivation/meditation, improper thoughts on sex, anger, fear.... not only erases years of hard work, but also severely damage the health.   It is the reason for clearing the mind.

 

[Wu Ming Jen]

The bed chamber is internal without location the meeting of yin and yang to give birth to higher being, well being. One can become monk or priest and have a family no problem.

 

Mind can have many obstacles that we fabricate to prevent our journey to be better people.

 

So we can see no sex can be just as damaging as too much sex.

 

celibacy is a natural occurrence not mind driven. I was celibate for 13 years then I turned 14

[exorcist_1699]

On 2020/9/18 at 6:58 PM, Master Logray said:

 

It is a chicken and egg problem.  Passions and sex drives can be dealt with by stilling the mind.  But stilling the mind needs to deal with passions and sex drives.  

 

Sex drive can be used as fuel burning for  attaining an emptied Mind , the initial condition is just the ability of mobilizing qi .

Passion and emotions , such as worries, jealousy , fear, vanity ...etc can also be used as fuels for it , not only jing and qi .

[Maddie]

12 hours ago, exorcist_1699 said:

 

Sex drive can be used as fuel burning for  attaining an emptied Mind , the initial condition is just the ability of mobilizing qi .

Passion and emotions , such as worries, jealousy , fear, vanity ...etc can also be used as fuels for it , not only jing and qi .

 

I have noticed that celibacy conserves energy and as the energy increases it adds energy to everything, including our imbalances. If done without mindfulness this can be very problematic as a mild temper can become a large temper, or a mild obsession becomes a big one. One the other hand if one is practicing mindfulness then making things louder can actually be of great benefit as it brings things to the awareness to be mindful of. It becomes to observe how craving is indeed to cause of suffering.  

[exorcist_1699]

On 2021/2/22 at 12:12 AM, Master Logray said:

Nocturnal emission is not the only problem.  When one progresses in cultivation, the sex urge creates a much bigger problem than normal persons.  During higher stages of cultivation/meditation, improper thoughts on sex, anger, fear.... not only erases years of hard work, but also severely damage the health.   It is the reason for clearing the mind.

 

 

Our Self , is not just composed of  two big  chunks: the upper consciousness and the lower biological needs and drives . If we  look at  it through the Maslow's hierarchy of needs ,  from top to bottom , there are more layers : need of  self-fulfilment,  need to be respected, need to feeling safe.. and the bottom, biological needs of sex , food and shelter .  A male in depressed mood can be pressed  to  sex addiction , not only because he has accumulated lot of jing  in celibacy ; it is  just like some women who are urged to eating  snacks or buying clothes under stress  .  So, conversely,  those  emotions, whether they are suppressed , not being noticed , or fully sensed but not controllable  : fear , anger, jealousness, hatred , unrest .. can all be /  should be used as       ' fuels '  burning for the  emptied Mind . Or, doing / thinking it in the way around , it is the emptied Mind that  is  the  thorough , at one stroke way  to solve all troubles . 

 

Also it is  in this sense that doing our cultivation in earthly world is much more meaningful than doing it on the top of high mountain or in deep cave . In fact , only after having trained in those  earthly hardships,  can we  secure what we have achieved . 

 

Edited February 23, 2021 by exorcist_1699

[Master Logray]

9 hours ago, exorcist_1699 said:

 

Our Self , is not just composed of  two big  chunks: the upper consciousness and the lower biological needs and drives . If we  look at  it through the Maslow's hierarchy of needs ,  from top to bottom , there are more layers : need of  self-fulfilment,  need to be respected, need to feeling safe.. and the bottom, biological needs of sex , food and shelter .  A male in depressed mood can be pressed  to  sex addiction , not only because he has accumulated lot of jing  in celibacy ; it is  just like some women who are urged to eating  snacks or buying clothes under stress  .  So, conversely,  those  emotions, whether they are suppressed , not being noticed , or fully sensed but not controllable  : fear , anger, jealousness, hatred , unrest .. can all be /  should be used as       ' fuels '  burning for the  emptied Mind . Or, doing / thinking it in the way around , it is the emptied Mind that  is  the  thorough , at one stroke way  to solve all troubles . 

 

Also it is  in this sense that doing our cultivation in earthly world is much more meaningful than doing it on the top of high mountain or in deep cave . In fact , only after having trained in those  earthly hardships,  can we  secure what we have achieved .

 

The training of Xing (approximately - Mind) has to be carried out both within meditation AND in the daily dealings in the outside world.  Otherwise the foundation is not stable and progress is slow.   The high mountain/cave is only for almost the final stage.  Historically some Taoists started their training in brothels. 

 

Using emptied mind as a tool to deal with emotional problems, is common nowadays, especially with pseudo-Buddhist teaching.  From Taoist standpoint, emptied mind is more a goal.  To achieve this state of mind, one needs to deal with emotions, body sensations like sex urges plus own thinkings/beliefs. 

 

[Small Fur]

On 8/20/2020 at 11:25 AM, Loveherbs said:

I am planning to become a monk/priest. I wanna begin my practice with absolute honesty and wanna know if it is even possible to be celibate life long. i am 25 years old guy. In my monkhood i will stay away from masturbation or any kind of sexual activity. i'll do neigong and live a simple life. Is it possible? Do you know anyone of my age who has successfully left lust from his life and living a celibate life.

 

 

The question isn't whether others can and have, because in these thousands of years of practice and history, of course, though many could not and did not, many also have and many do.

 

It can be done: healthy and easily.

And it can also be done pre-maturely, forced and incompentently.

 

True inner peace cannot arise from any form of desire- even if that desire is for peace itself.  True peace does not become so without a deep understanding and wisdom of the essential; and that only begins to become so when we are unafraid to look deeply within ourselves and resolve ourselves in all the conditions of worldly truths without fear, aversion, desire or suffering.

 

So, what matters isn't if it is possible out there in the world.  What matters is if it is in you to do so: readily, naturally, and now. To answer that you must look inward, you must ask yourself honestly and you must know yourself truly in this moment. The fact that you ask suggests an internal conflict in need of more self-awareness to resolve and a desire in need of a more profound understanding so it can be adequately relinquished.

 

Take the time to meditate and look inward. Be honest with yourself about not only your readiness and capacities, but also about your own true willingness and what is really in your heart to do. As many spiritual teachers who have gone well beyond awakenings will tell you, the spiritual path is not for the faint of heart.  It takes a great maturity to journey through existence in the light of full awareness with steadiness, deep integrity and a humble heart.

 

So do not be afraid of the answer. The answer matters less than the courage that allows for clear insight and the potential for rightful action that can come forth when one is deeply honest within themselves.  This foundation in integrious clarity is one of a few simple, yet deeply necessary virtues for all forms of cultivation to bear fruit no matter your path, monastic order, lineage or non-affiliation.

 

There are many paths to transcendence. No matter what guise that takes in the world, the only path will have ever only been within you and through you. And each step of that way is only made apparent and profound when you take the time in the barren honesty of silence and stillness to discover what is true from within to know whether or not you are truly ready to be without.

 

Edited June 4, 2021 by Small Fur

[Desmonddf]

On 20/08/2020 at 3:25 PM, Loveherbs said:

I am planning to become a monk/priest. I wanna begin my practice with absolute honesty and wanna know if it is even possible to be celibate life long. i am 25 years old guy. In my monkhood i will stay away from masturbation or any kind of sexual activity. i'll do neigong and live a simple life. Is it possible? Do you know anyone of my age who has successfully left lust from his life and living a celibate life.

True celibacy uses Desire itself as fuel for inner growth. It isn't about not masturbating or ejaculating (that's a modern christian kink), but not having desire and therefore not producing semen in the first place.

 

Work on your desires, and life-long celibacy is possible. Don't work on them, and you'll just start to accumulate phlegm-heat on your lower burner.