thelerner Posted September 7, 2020 Releasing 750 Million Genetically Modified Mosquitos (solutions inspired by Jurassic Park) from the folks at Cracked (https://www.cracked.com/article_28497_5-crazypants-scientific-discoveries-happening-right-now.html) ..Since forever, mankind has tried to find a way to get rid of mosquitos, the biggest genocidal bloodsuckers since ... whichever politician gets me the fewest death threats. This research ramped up considerably during the Zika Virus outbreak in 2015 when thousands of babies were born with complications due to the disease-carrying Aedes aegypti mosquito. And as the most exotic state (if we're going by illegal pets per capita), Florida also suffers from this aggressive harbinger of plague better known as the yellow fever mosquito. Since we're still decades away from creating a continent-sized bug zapper, many scientists have accepted that we are unable to wipe out the mosquito population. But you know who's even better at wiping out populations? Mosquitos. So under the maxim "if you can't kill 'em, breed 'em" biotech corporations have been creating clouds of genetically modified male mosquitoes. These sexy cyborgs are then sent out to seduce the bloodsucking female mosquitos and infect them with a kind of DNA-modding STD. After mating with these freaks of nature, females can only give birth to more male dummies, eventually depleting the female population and leading to the sausage fest of extinction events. That's exactly why Florida is intent on super-sizing its mosquito population. Local officials have approved the release of three-quarters of a billion modified mosquitoes into the Florida Keys by 2021, one of the largest government-sponsored suicide sex cults ever. Many environmentalists do however oppose the plan, claiming that to sextinguish so many mosquitoes is sure to lead to a disastrous "Jurassic Park experiment," this despite the project having been approved by the EPA and with the scientific community still unsure of the long term benefits. Which is just insulting -- to Jurassic Park. Clearly, they meant Jurassic World. If that goon John Hammond had half a brain, he too would have used syphilitic velociraptors to save mankind from destruction. <I don't know whether to cue the Blue Oyster Cult's Godzilla, or Ozzie's Iron Man.> 3 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
doc benway Posted September 7, 2020 Nothing at all.... Spoiler https://youtu.be/SAJfyDTTHE4 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
silent thunder Posted September 7, 2020 what could possibly go wrong... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nungali Posted September 7, 2020 What 'you' ( meaning some old branch of the government ) do is import zillions of gambusia ( 'plague minnow ' ) and dump them in the rivers to eat mosquito lava . Then they will eat instead all the eggs of the beautiful colourful native fish that used to inhabit those rivers and eat the mosquito eggs . The you have sterile rivers full of gambusia and mozzies .... that bight you and give you Ross River Fever ... and that was extremely unpleasant ! http://www.gambusia.net/ 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ilumairen Posted September 7, 2020 https://entomology.ca.uky.edu/ef416 (A short article about Asian beetle infestations.) 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
