Request for feedback

[Encephalon]

Greetings Bums -

In terms of my own self-assessment, acknowledgment of epic personal failures, disastrous examples of poor judgment, and a general pattern of being subject to the limits of trauma and negative unconscious conditioning,  I'd be mighty curious to know of any insights that may have eluded me.  Despite a hapless journey that closely approximates that of the Fool,  I have two success stories; I've maintained exceptional health, and I managed to squeeze in a pretty good education.  Now that I've got a handle on the corrosive effects of childhood trauma,  I've been able to transmute a lot of learned pessimism into learned optimism and positive expectation (huge lesson/huge victory).  And, combined with ten years of brain entrainment, my imagination is exploding.  In combination with fitness training, nei kung, and the resuscitation of imagination,  I feel the best years of my life are ahead of me.  

 

There is only one issue that's giving me pause; my imagination, my original superpower, is truly exploding.  My assessment of what is possible continues to change every week.  I feel like I'm sprinting before I've even pulled up my pants and tied my shoes.  

 

Any original insights?  High levels of fitness, extremely low levels of stress, good education, brain entrainment rewiring the neo-cortex like a brand new hard drive,  and the knowldege and experience of gathered from 60 years of being dragged around the surface of the earth by the power of my own curiosity.  Something's gotta give, right?

 

[doc benway]

I think it is a sign of openness and connectedness. I suggest a creative outlet to channel the imagination - prose, poetry, music, painting, drawing, dance, higher maths, a non-profit, whatever... something to focus it a bit. And that can change from time to time.

 

Sounds like you’re quite literally living the dream. Congrats!

[Encephalon]

In the six hours since I posted this I've tried to understand and examine my reasons for doing so.  I had second thoughts to begun with.  I imagined other bums rightly asking themselves; WTF? He's 60 years old and he hasn't figured anything out yet?  Good riddance.  and of course I wanted to avoid the appearance of petitioning for sympathy.  Those are really, really gross. 

 

After more mulling, I've concluded that some of this had to do with the nature of today's news cycle; when asked about the chances for an orderly transition of power, Trump dumped it in everyone's lap; He's really not into ballots, doesn't trust them, thinks there will be an orderly... wait for it... "continuation of power."  Yep, that's a line that sends most people I know opening up the liquor cabinet or reaching for their stash. 

 

5 hours ago, steve said:

I think it is a sign of openness and connectedness. I suggest a creative outlet to channel the imagination - prose, poetry, music, painting, drawing, dance, higher maths, a non-profit, whatever... something to focus it a bit. And that can change from time to time.

 

Sounds like you’re quite literally living the dream. Congrats!

 

That's great advice and cheerful feedback.  Thank you.  My only regret is that I spent decades studying geography and communitarian movements throughout the world, and now that the US is on the verge of giving birth to 21st century fascism, I don't have the means to secure the very model of sane and sustainable lifestyle, in community, with other likeminded souls.  I'm intensely disappointed by this failure to act on my heartfelt convictions, (but it's not if community life is cheap and readily available.  It's actually really expensive to launch.)

 

Selling three screenplays, or beaking into the Net industry would change things dramatically.  I haven't thrown in the towel yet.  I HAVE managed to paint myself into a corner and if I hold my aspirations dear, I have to  comport myself like a zen master.  

 

Pursuing enlightenment at this point might just be the most practical choice for solving problems.