Beginner, bit overwhelmed, looking 4 resources

[Hopefulbalance]

Hello. 

As the title says I'm beginner, and a bit overwhelmed at all the information I'm reading. I get this way easily anyway, which was one of the reasons I even considered working with qi

Well maybe starting from what led me here will help give guidance to my questions..I realize I made a super long post so just skip to bolded numbers if you dont wanna hear me bear my soul

I am 33yr old female. I had always been social, very active in school and outdoors. In my early 20s I married. It was a rough navigation for me to deal with the weird hormones that finally being sexually active sparked. I have never been the same since.

I developed sleep paralysis with visual and auditory hallucinations. They were straight up tormenting me with their scary and hurtful things. (Stress induces its frequency and quiting my job helped lessen the occurrence- though calling jesus name is the only thing to break the paralysis while its happening). I was once very spiritual and active in my church but trying not to offend my husband I lessened my frequency of service and that eventually lead to me opting not go for years. I miss it terribly and feel empty of my life as that is a major part of me being me. I no longer want to be social it's too taxing (especially if they also have anxiety or are hyperactive), i rarely leave the house as getting all the kids ready- packed then unloaded then loaded back up for home it's too exhausting, even chewing to eat is too exhausting. I have a healthy diet as far as balanced protein fat carb ratio, just lost desire to eat. Averaging about 950-1100 calaries a day. Then cycle comes (and though I'm not hungry and I dont want food) the urge load the heavy meals and sweets gets me. Its lead to a huge health issue. Going from under eating to over eating one week a month..having overthinking, anxiety, getting overwhelmed to point of crying and often I dont know why... of course having 3 large babies (my middle one was 2weeks early bc he was already 10lbs 3oz) didnt help me feel any better about myself. My distasis from such heavy boys is so bad. Its painful to try to physically fix , and exhausting bc I'm soo tired all the time, which lead to suggestion of working with qi. I read it can also help with childhood traumas..is that true?

The only experience I have of qi work was when I was a teen. I did a few months work on a DVD of dr Paul lams 'tia chi 24 forms'. I could eventually feel my qi moving which kinda scared me so I quit the dvds. Lol if I could tell teen me a few things...

The only experience I have with meditation is with my artwork (I am art and horticulture major. My previous mentioned health decline made me quit my bachelor work)..my artwork was my life. It was the only time I really got to zone out and just do whatever felt right. I quit art at home when I had the kids. It was too much of a hassle to keep away from them or drag out for 15min of prep work to then have to pack away again. I feel like I became not me when I got married and had kids. Since I quit the things I loved to make it easier for other ppl..

I live in USA (alabama) and my very small town doesnt have anything remotely related to qigong. (We are just now talking about getting a publix and even that is being stalled). I tried googling qigong teachers, healers; basically anything on a personal level instruction, near me and I found one tia chi teacher about 2hrs away and then several qigong acupuncturists about 5hrs away from me...

 So my questions would be;

1). could I still learn enough qi work and meditation to help myself from this type health issues? I have seen drs for years and they just try medication on medication but I'm so sensitive to them (I rarely even take tylenol) that it just made them worse.. I have been off medications for about 4yrs. My last pregnancy, last year, seemed to help balance me a bit. No longer dealt with post partum rage,; I finally had motherly feelings and love like everyone talks about. It makes me cry a lot thinking about it lol. Started probiotics and seen I have slight more energy. Not really feeling it but I'm noticing I'm keeping the house kept up better.

2). I seen that you have to have good foundations in the style you want to practice to get proper benefits..how would I know which styles would be best for me? (I only know a few that were mentioned in threads iv read on this forum)

3). is finding resources online pretty easy since I dont have a bookstore in town? (This forum was literally the first thing that popped up in my google search and I went down the rabbit whole of posts)

4). I seen mention of remote qi work, is that really a thing? How on earth does that work? Seems kinda hard for me to wrap my brain around that.

Please dont kill me for making such long post. I literally have no one to reach out too for anything qigong. My husband is super supportive of helping me get better. He knows ppl can do great things with qi work but he thinks I am weak person. I guess because I gave up the only things that made me happy to make it less of hassle..but input up with a lot of pols words towards me and events in life so I think I am stronger than he realizes.

[thelerner]

Hello and Welcome Hopefulbalance, Having young kids is exhausting on every level but worth it, they outgrow old problems and find new ones.  Meditation should help you.  The low growing fruit of it is imo, guided meditations.. Look around Youtube for them, listen a little and see what voice and type speak to you.  Perhaps try Kim Walsh's she got a lilting relaxing voice. 

 

Course that's no substitute for learning to sit.  Just sitting, relaxed.. letting your mind empty.  That's sitting meditation.  There's fancier stuff but most of us start and end, with just sitting and letting go.  Once you can sit quietly for awhile you can get fancy.  Some of us are doing Damo Mitchell's free course of MicroCosmic Orbit https://damomitchell.com/2020/03/23/microcosmic-orbit/, there are other free courses out there on youtube. 

 

For health you can learn a qigong form.  Here's a short simple one, Pangu that I like- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lZVdt8t2WQ&t=141s

 

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[Sketch]

5 minutes ago, thelerner said:

 

 

Course that's no substitute for learning to sit.  Just sitting, relaxed.. letting your mind empty.  That's sitting meditation. 

 

 

Edited December 11, 2020 by Sketch

[RiverSnake]

Welcome to TDB. 

[Hopefulbalance]

44 minutes ago, thelerner said:

 Perhaps try Kim Walsh's she got a lilting relaxing voice. 

 

Course that's no substitute for learning to sit.  Just sitting, relaxed.. letting your mind empty.  That's sitting meditation.  There's fancier stuff but most of us start and end, with just sitting and letting go.  Once you can sit quietly for awhile you can get fancy.  Some of us are doing Damo Mitchell's free course of MicroCosmic Orbit https://damomitchell.com/2020/03/23/microcosmic-orbit/, there are other free courses out there on youtube. 

 

For health you can learn a qigong form.  Here's a short simple one, Pangu that I like- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lZVdt8t2WQ&t=141s

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Thank you for the link to damomitchell free program, I had seen it referenced in several other posts so its nice to have a link!

I havent read about pangu yet so I'll definitely add it to the list ive seen ppl mention in forums.

Thank you for a suggestion on a guided meditation! I think you may be right on started with guided. I have tried sitting and emptying on my own but I always find myself switching to the daydreaming visualizations (it's how I learned to fall asleep when I developed the bad anxiety and fear of falling asleep bc of the s.p.) so I think me learning that coping mechanism may be hindering my ability to completely empty. 

This does give me a great area to start my research and trial practices.

[Maddie]

4 minutes ago, Hopefulbalance said:

Thank you for the link to damomitchell free program, I had seen it referenced in several other posts so its nice to have a link!

I havent read about pangu yet so I'll definitely add it to the list ive seen ppl mention in forums.

Thank you for a suggestion on a guided meditation! I think you may be right on started with guided. I have tried sitting and emptying on my own but I always find myself switching to the daydreaming visualizations (it's how I learned to fall asleep when I developed the bad anxiety and fear of falling asleep bc of the s.p.) so I think me learning that coping mechanism may be hindering my ability to completely empty. 

This does give me a great area to start my research and trial practices.

 

Hey there. I read that you are in a relatively small town. Do you have access to any nearby acupuncturists? I am an acupuncturist and one of my friends from acupuncture school currently practices in Alabama. This can be very helpful for many of the things that you listed as concerns. Also, it's been my observation that in areas with limited resources it's often easier to find a yoga studio. They call the energy prana but it's the same thing as qi. 

[Hopefulbalance]

9 minutes ago, dmattwads said:

 

Hey there. I read that you are in a relatively small town. Do you have access to any nearby acupuncturists? I am an acupuncturist and one of my friends from acupuncture school currently practices in Alabama. This can be very helpful for many of the things that you listed as concerns. Also, it's been my observation that in areas with limited resources it's often easier to find a yoga studio. They call the energy prana but it's the same thing as qi. 

Yes I have googled about that since making my OP and have found there is one about two hours away in Huntsville. The other closest one is in Chattanooga, TN. I plan to call both of them for info on their session. You are right yoga is easier find but those are still 2hrs away. I didnt know yoga involved any energy work so that's good to learn. I appreciate the name on that, and will look into it as an option if this other doesnt work out or could use the assistance.

[Maddie]

35 minutes ago, Hopefulbalance said:

Yes I have googled about that since making my OP and have found there is one about two hours away in Huntsville. The other closest one is in Chattanooga, TN. I plan to call both of them for info on their session. You are right yoga is easier find but those are still 2hrs away. I didnt know yoga involved any energy work so that's good to learn. I appreciate the name on that, and will look into it as an option if this other doesnt work out or could use the assistance.

If you want the name you can send me a private message and basically yoga is the same idea as Qigong but just from India

Edited December 11, 2020 by dmattwads