Eggsistentialist Posted January 31, 2021 4 minutes ago, dwai said: Do you feel anything specifically that is out of balance? I’m asking these questions because it helps to figure out in one’s own mind/intellect what they’re looking for. I think that in the past I've been all about the wrong things. Too worried about what I believed were negative emotions/experiences/or sensations. Too eager to arrive at some type of good. I want to change my stuck in my ways thinking about this, but I'm not completely sure what I'm moving toward, what it might look like and be like, or if I'm maybe just out to lunch. It's not just my beliefs, I'm trying to create new habits, and change some of the circumstances in my life that inhibit me--but as I do this it comes full circle. I can't change my life circumstances without changing myself. Intellectually I need new ways to think about things. 4 minutes ago, dwai said: If you want to develop yourself energetically, what do you find deficient or unclear in yourself that you’re trying to refine/develop? I want to learn more about what this even means. I have no idea how deficient I may or may not be yet. I may have noticed energy in the past! For example everyone can (hopefully) feel it brewing in the pelvic area! However there have been times where I may have felt it too much in my head and just decided I wasn't feeling well and gone to sleep, not knowing what else to do. Or for example, right now *i think?!* I feel an excess of it in my lower arms and hands. Idk why this is. I'm hoping it's something I can get circulating. But like I said, not sure of what im describing! It's a bit new. Maybe im hyper focused. 4 minutes ago, dwai said: Is it ‘capabilities’ (powers)? To be perfect honest, this thought is scary. Idk what is meant by that. I know that I can sometimes sense danger and avoid it. The idea of certain people having an unfair advantage over others because they can for example, read/sense their thoughts makes me uncomfortable. If you are asking me if this is something I would like to cultivate, that's a difficult question. Yes, I want to be safe, healthy, and well. No, I don't want to mess around with other people for any reason, to the extent that I don't even believe in being overly helpful. Most people have what they need. I believe I already do too. 4 minutes ago, dwai said: is it clarity and understanding as to what has been happening to you? Yes! 4 minutes ago, dwai said: Or is it an instinctive desire to fulfill something that seems missing, but are unable to articulate clearly? No, i had actually been feeling pretty good about myself and my life up until this point. A bit despondent in some areas that I would have like to be different but didn't think I could change, but now the timing is right and I find I can do some things after all. Other than that, it's been more like oh wow, ok whatever this is, you have my attention. Let's just see where it goes. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eggsistentialist Posted January 31, 2021 11 minutes ago, ilumairen said: @Eggsistentialist, it may be worth noting at this point, that dwai, who is very good at asking questions, is also quite receptive and open to being asked questions as well. Noted!! 11 minutes ago, ilumairen said: Back to eggsistentialist, may I call you “eggsy”? I've been called a lot worse lol! I like it 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ilumairen Posted January 31, 2021 3 minutes ago, Eggsistentialist said: To be perfect honest, this thought is scary. Idk what is meant by that. I know that I can sometimes sense danger and avoid it. The idea of certain people having an unfair advantage over others because they can for example, read/sense their thoughts makes me uncomfortable. If you are asking me if this is something I would like to cultivate, that's a difficult question. Yes, I want to be safe, healthy, and well. No, I don't want to mess around with other people for any reason, to the extent that I don't even believe in being overly helpful. Most people have what they need. I believe I already do too. I like this answer. 2 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dwai Posted January 31, 2021 36 minutes ago, Eggsistentialist said: Yes! Quote Okay, then that's clarity in itself. You want to understand the process, nuances, etc. If you notice yourself having an affinity towards yogic practices, you might want to explore some authentic yoga lineages like the Kriya Yoga system. Depending on where you are, you can either get initiation in person (maybe after COVID-19 is done and over with), or online/correspondence. I'd recommend a teacher who can guide you. https://www.onlinewithananda.org/path-of-kriya-yoga/ Sri M is also a very good exponent of Kriya Yoga, but I'm not sure if he teaches online -- https://satsang-foundation.org/ One of our friends here, @Pilgrim himself is a treasure-trove of Kriya Yoga knowledge, and if he's around, can help you. If Kriya Yoga is not that readily available, I'd recommend you explore the Isha Foundation -- https://www.innerengineering.com/online My wife has had tremendous help/spiritual transformation with this system. I know several others who have had great success. The nice thing about this course is that there are volunteers who will check on you even after you've completed the course. Sadhguru is a veritable fount of Yogic knowledge and wisdom and an immensely powerful teacher. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dwai Posted January 31, 2021 55 minutes ago, ilumairen said: what if it isn’t a desire to fulfill “something missing,” but curiosity about how this whole balancing process plays out? That's a perfectly good place to start, imho. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bindi Posted January 31, 2021 5 hours ago, Eggsistentialist said: Hi, I spent a bit of time looking into this. Thank you, this really is a helpful place to jump in. Interestingly I had impressions? Intuitions? (I don't even know how to describe them) of cinnabar as well. I had never heard of that stone either at the time. I have goosebumps. Yes neidan has a grasp on some fundamental truths for me too, though personally I don’t get into any official neidan methods that are offered in the present. In terms of what to do with your energy, IME it is fundamentally about healing energy, it would be interesting to know whether placing your hands or just your thoughts somewhere is effecting healing. That said you do have to be careful that you’re not using your ‘qi’ without replacing it. If your energy system is developed properly energy is constantly being produced in the dantians and you’re not depleting your own qi. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Apech Posted January 31, 2021 @Eggsistentialist Hi, It's good that you had this awakening 20 years ago and have come back to it. Scary energy and images is normal. I would say don't jump for any system which attempts to 'explain' this to you particularly. To normalize the energy - by which I mean make it integral and so on - you need to do a lot of work. Its like something hits you and say 'right sort that out' and in sorting it out you learn a lot. particularly that your mind - which directs energy - has different types of perception. If you can learn to switch from one type to another - then the energy will start to balance itself. If this doesn't make any sense to you - ignore it Cheers and best wishes, A. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wu Ming Jen Posted January 31, 2021 Read the secret of the golden flower it will put your mind to rest. It seems that you have an affinity with Taoist practice with the dragon and tiger imagery. By your words you seem to be on the right path reimagine your self do not let the old thought patterns determine your life and reach for perfection, compromise is not an option as long as you are very well grounded before the rise that is about to become. Earth and heaven support each other do not seek one without the other. The physical life is more important now then the so called spiritual life take care of life now and all ends well. Reach the highest heavens with your feet grounded in the earth. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conan Posted February 1, 2021 Funny that your thread comes to my attention now. I've thought about making a new thread to ask for the astrological information of Kundalini experiencers and accomplished spiritual seekers. With enough charts, I was hoping to be able to isolate patterns in their astrological charts. For instance, the person most known in the west for having a health crisis due to Kundalini (Gopi Krishna) has some interesting planetary placements, some of which are suggestive of spiritual attainments. It would be helpful (for study purposes) if we had the astrological information of more people like him. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eggsistentialist Posted February 1, 2021 20 hours ago, dwai said: Okay, then that's clarity in itself. You want to understand the process, nuances, etc. If you notice yourself having an affinity towards yogic practices, you might want to explore some authentic yoga lineages like the Kriya Yoga system. Depending on where you are, you can either get initiation in person (maybe after COVID-19 is done and over with), or online/correspondence. I'd recommend a teacher who can guide you. https://www.onlinewithananda.org/path-of-kriya-yoga/ Sri M is also a very good exponent of Kriya Yoga, but I'm not sure if he teaches online -- https://satsang-foundation.org/ One of our friends here, @Pilgrim himself is a treasure-trove of Kriya Yoga knowledge, and if he's around, can help you. If Kriya Yoga is not that readily available, I'd recommend you explore the Isha Foundation -- https://www.innerengineering.com/online My wife has had tremendous help/spiritual transformation with this system. I know several others who have had great success. The nice thing about this course is that there are volunteers who will check on you even after you've completed the course. Sadhguru is a veritable fount of Yogic knowledge and wisdom and an immensely powerful teacher. Thank you so much dwai! I forgot about Yogananda! Interesting story which you can skip if it's tl;dr: during the summer when my dog passed away, I noticed the specific patch of shady grass he liked to rest on had multiple 4-leaf clovers growing in it. (They're actually not that rare if you look hard enough, and often if there's one there are more nearby). I picked them and went to press them in what I originally thought was the bagavad gita, two books I had purchased years back telling myself some day I would read the bagavad gita so i could simply say I had done it (still haven't) for the cool factor. All those years I didn't know those books were not the BG but Yogananda's interpretation (i still haven't read them lol). Point is, I opened one of them and out fell an old 4-leaf clover pressed in chapter 11 next to a picture of a funeral pyre with a soul ascending upward to join some others and the particular topic is about ocean of spirit and individuals being waves and are in a delusory state yada yada. I should probably read it. I found so many 4-leaf clovers this summer. Even found a 5-leaf one if you can believe that! Enough of my babble, thanks for listening. This, together with the other persons suggestion to try and learn what is neidan and what dantians are seem like good places to start to me, and should keep me busy for awhile I appreciate you, thanks, E 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eggsistentialist Posted February 1, 2021 18 hours ago, Bindi said: Yes neidan has a grasp on some fundamental truths for me too, though personally I don’t get into any official neidan methods that are offered in the present. In terms of what to do with your energy, IME it is fundamentally about healing energy, it would be interesting to know whether placing your hands or just your thoughts somewhere is effecting healing. That said you do have to be careful that you’re not using your ‘qi’ without replacing it. If your energy system is developed properly energy is constantly being produced in the dantians and you’re not depleting your own qi. Ok so!! In my op i mentioned a stuck feeling in my throat. Google is so unhelpful mostly but one youtuber had suggested something about healing the thyroid by doing yogic exercises, and another one demonstrated this squeezing of the butthole while using hands from the bottom up to the throat but he never specifically said that was energy. Honestly they both sounded a bit sketchy lol. I just experimented on my own a bit. And I think that maybe I do feel a little bit better. I think anyone can feel if someone comes very close to touching their arm or their face but doesn't quite. So by slowly moving my own hands inches from the front of my body I could at least find it really easy to imagine sensation, to the extent that when i brought it all the way to my throat it feels almost magnetic. Is that all in my head? Is there a real "energetic" component? Is the less constricted feeling in my throat psychosomatic? Maybe it's because I'm stretching my throat. Maybe it was a slight bacterial infection. Or all of the above. See what I mean ? It's impossible to tell and i just look and sound like i abuse substances lol! Most importantly I do feel a bit better though, so I guess I'll just not worry too much and hopefully it will become more clear. What depletes the energy in the dantians? I feel like I have a good amount of it Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eggsistentialist Posted February 1, 2021 18 hours ago, Apech said: @Eggsistentialist Hi, It's good that you had this awakening 20 years ago and have come back to it. Scary energy and images is normal. I would say don't jump for any system which attempts to 'explain' this to you particularly. To normalize the energy - by which I mean make it integral and so on - you need to do a lot of work. Its like something hits you and say 'right sort that out' and in sorting it out you learn a lot. particularly that your mind - which directs energy - has different types of perception. If you can learn to switch from one type to another - then the energy will start to balance itself. If this doesn't make any sense to you - ignore it Cheers and best wishes, A. It makes sense to me. But that doesn't guarantee we are talking about the same thing. Either way, still reasonable advice. Very interested in learning right now, being careful not to adopt dogma. Unlearning my past ways of perception also. That takes some practice. Hmm, this is interesting, switching between ways of knowing. Thank you E 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eggsistentialist Posted February 1, 2021 17 hours ago, Wu Ming Jen said: Read the secret of the golden flower it will put your mind to rest. It seems that you have an affinity with Taoist practice with the dragon and tiger imagery. By your words you seem to be on the right path reimagine your self do not let the old thought patterns determine your life and reach for perfection, compromise is not an option as long as you are very well grounded before the rise that is about to become. Earth and heaven support each other do not seek one without the other. The physical life is more important now then the so called spiritual life take care of life now and all ends well. Reach the highest heavens with your feet grounded in the earth. Thank you. I appreciate all your words, they resonate Question: there are several books by that title with different authorship, presumably they are translations with annotations? Is there one edition that you recommend over the others? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eggsistentialist Posted February 1, 2021 (edited) 13 hours ago, Conan said: Funny that your thread comes to my attention now. I've thought about making a new thread to ask for the astrological information of Kundalini experiencers and accomplished spiritual seekers. With enough charts, I was hoping to be able to isolate patterns in their astrological charts. For instance, the person most known in the west for having a health crisis due to Kundalini (Gopi Krishna) has some interesting planetary placements, some of which are suggestive of spiritual attainments. It would be helpful (for study purposes) if we had the astrological information of more people like him. Um, no one would accuse me of being "accomplished" loool!! YET! There is still time! Who am i kidding, I'm just a dork who is happy to watch the sun rise and set My birthday is 9/8/77 Have fun with your quest! E edit: wait you were just thinking outloud and i coughed up some deets. Damn it! Here take my name and social security too lol Edited February 1, 2021 by Eggsistentialist Derped 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dwai Posted February 1, 2021 30 minutes ago, Eggsistentialist said: Ok so!! In my op i mentioned a stuck feeling in my throat. Stuck feeling in the throat can signify unexpressed creativity. If you are into any creative process, it might be a good place to start for release. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Limahong Posted February 1, 2021 23 hours ago, Eggsistentialist said: Lol, there goes my intention to just lurk here! Hi Eggsistentialialist, We (fellow Bums) have the luck that you do not just lurk at TDB. From your posts thus far ~ I am impressed with your experiential transparency. Your writing style and words are refreshing ~ firsthand sharing as an unpretentious practitioner. You are an eggemplary Bum in the making. Please lay more eggs... - Anand Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Limahong Posted February 1, 2021 1 hour ago, Eggsistentialist said: My birthday is 9/8/77 9th of August? If so ~ I will think of you when Singapore's National Day comes on 9th August... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wu Ming Jen Posted February 1, 2021 2 hours ago, Eggsistentialist said: Thank you. I appreciate all your words, they resonate Question: there are several books by that title with different authorship, presumably they are translations with annotations? Is there one edition that you recommend over the others? Wudang mountain translation of the tao de ching. Legend has it the copy of the original made it to wudang rather quickly in time. This is so long ago that we can not affirm or be denied the authenticity. The words chosen in translation is not confused. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eggsistentialist Posted February 1, 2021 3 hours ago, dwai said: Stuck feeling in the throat can signify unexpressed creativity. If you are into any creative process, it might be a good place to start for release. When i started changing my life, (im getting divorced) both inside and out as a result of K, I asked for my creative block to be removed. I've been up to my elbows in diapers for close to 20 years in a really difficult relationship. I used to be super inspired. I want my creativity back and my throat has felt constricted and choked and like there is something stuck in it ever since I asked for it (prayed for it?) back. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eggsistentialist Posted February 1, 2021 2 hours ago, Limahong said: Hi Eggsistentialialist, We (fellow Bums) have the luck that you do not just lurk at TDB. From your posts thus far ~ I am impressed with your experiential transparency. Your writing style and words are refreshing ~ firsthand sharing as an unpretentious practitioner. You are an eggemplary Bum in the making. Please lay more eggs... - Anand Thank you Anand! Fun fact: chicken bums are called vents. I have many chickens. Not many eggs at the moment, it's winter. I really love breakfast! And second breakfast! E 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eggsistentialist Posted February 1, 2021 1 hour ago, Limahong said: 9th of August? If so ~ I will think of you when Singapore's National Day comes on 9th August... September 8th -- incidentally is the feast day of the nativity of the virgin mary in roman catholicism. But an eggsemplary catholic I am not -- oops! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eggsistentialist Posted February 1, 2021 1 hour ago, Wu Ming Jen said: Wudang mountain translation of the tao de ching. Legend has it the copy of the original made it to wudang rather quickly in time. This is so long ago that we can not affirm or be denied the authenticity. The words chosen in translation is not confused. Hi again, sorry, is the golden flower part of the tao? I have a copy of the tao in my hands and am not finding an obvious reference to it. Thank you Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conan Posted February 1, 2021 5 hours ago, Eggsistentialist said: Um, no one would accuse me of being "accomplished" loool!! YET! There is still time! Who am i kidding, I'm just a dork who is happy to watch the sun rise and set My birthday is 9/8/77 Have fun with your quest! E edit: wait you were just thinking outloud and i coughed up some deets. Damn it! Here take my name and social security too lol Thanks! To make a chart I need a full set of information (birth day, birth time and place of birth). For instance, Gopi Krishna's astrological information is: 30 May 1903 12:14 AM Gairoo (India) My own details are: 1 februari 1988 10:09 AM Amsterdam (Netherlands) Adding my own details to reciprocate. (Hopefully you won't feel 'naked' anymore as the only one with their deets out ) If you still want to go ahead (I'd understand if you're reluctant to give out any more private information), you can PM me the rest of the information or post it here. If you want to continue I'd make your chart and study/ponder it for an hour or so. I'd pay particular attention to the condition of your 3rd house, your 4th house, your 8th house, their ruling planets and your Jupiter. If you're interested I can explain what these mean and why I would look to them to make sense of Kundalini. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conan Posted February 1, 2021 Correction, my place of birth is Arnhem (I've been living in Amsterdam most of my life, hence, the error). I recommend this book, if you haven't read it already: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bindi Posted February 2, 2021 (edited) 8 hours ago, Eggsistentialist said: Ok so!! In my op i mentioned a stuck feeling in my throat. Google is so unhelpful mostly but one youtuber had suggested something about healing the thyroid by doing yogic exercises, and another one demonstrated this squeezing of the butthole while using hands from the bottom up to the throat but he never specifically said that was energy. Honestly they both sounded a bit sketchy lol. I just experimented on my own a bit. And I think that maybe I do feel a little bit better. I think anyone can feel if someone comes very close to touching their arm or their face but doesn't quite. So by slowly moving my own hands inches from the front of my body I could at least find it really easy to imagine sensation, to the extent that when i brought it all the way to my throat it feels almost magnetic. Is that all in my head? Is there a real "energetic" component? Is the less constricted feeling in my throat psychosomatic? Maybe it's because I'm stretching my throat. Maybe it was a slight bacterial infection. Or all of the above. See what I mean ? It's impossible to tell and i just look and sound like i abuse substances lol! Most importantly I do feel a bit better though, so I guess I'll just not worry too much and hopefully it will become more clear. What depletes the energy in the dantians? I feel like I have a good amount of it Dantians are formed, they don’t just appear naturally. My perspective comes from what my mother ‘sees’, I got her to experiment once and see the lower dantian of my cousin, my mother saw a ‘field of potential’ but there was nothing actually there. A lower dantian that is formed has a constantly moving energy signature which powers how the system operates. Take the Neijing Tu as an example, or at least the bottom section, A boy and a girl (yin and yang) are working a very mechanical device, the water wheel, that creates energy, and it is this energy further down the process that is used for healing. I don’t think kundalini is associated with healing energy, at least not that I’ve ever heard. Depleting your energy is like using the water but not replenishing it, so it will soon run out if you’re using it for something like healing. See this link, it talks about the buffalo planting a golden coin, this and the water wheel is where neidan starts, it’s the basis for everything else, it gets you out of your head and in a way grounds spirituality in the body. Ultimately it can lead to the answer to your question, ‘now what’. edit to add: actually, just thinking about it now, it’s not the water wheel which powers qi healing, it’s more to do with the developing of the gold coin that was planted in the LDT and in good time brought up to the middle dantian, it’s this gold coin that is developed along the way that is fundamental in healing. Edited February 2, 2021 by Bindi Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
