Restoring my health and addressing Sexual dysfunction

[TranquilTurmoil]

Hello again. As i mention again and again, the last 8 years have been a crazy journey. I just shed my austerities in full 2 months ago. Im now eating a healthy varied, vegetarian diet, getting adequate sunlight, lots of walking, etc.

With that said, my bones are recovering from a profound and gradual deterioration. I just saw an orthopedist who is directing me to a foot doctor, a metabolic function doctor, and a holistic doctor (if im interested). Luckily my blood work is fine (just low in vitamin D), my bones dont look osteoperotic or osteopenia from the xray he saw and overall i seem fairly healthy. However I get bone soreness/pain from minimal weight bearing on my feet, prolonged weight bearing on my sit bones or hips, cracking knees, pain in my fingers from typing on touch screens (just got a keyboard). and an on and off sore neck from years of sitting upright continuously with poor muscles and improper posture. I also dont know how great my sleep posture is.

 

My other issue I was curious if energy afficionados like TDB had any insight into Treating Premature Ejaculation, which is what led to my existensial crisis that led to my spiritual seeking. To clarify i suffered through my entire dating life of 3 years of: Severe, relationship sabotaging Premature Ejaculation and the shame and dysphoria that came with it. I ve sidestepped this issue for 8 years as I worked on self psychological healing through loving acceptance whilst undertaking 6 years of semi voluntary/semi involuntray celibacy, and the last 2 years being abstinent other than one somewhat intimate day with a female friend in december. My  PE was rooted in early teenage years, masturbating to 40 sec porn clips, racing the video, fearing being walked in on. It formed a habit I never consistently broke. I also suffered from anxiety throughout my early years, and once I got to the age of intimacy, this anxiety compunded and turned into not just performance anxiety but unwanted, severely premature climax anxiety. I was on an anti depressant the past 3 years semi voluntarily which seemed to help based on my ability to last in my dreams. However Im off now and prefer to stay off and treat the root and find a more thorough treatment. I no longer feel particularly ashamed of PE or much of anything and I have talked it through with friends as much as I think is beneficial. The only practical route I can think of going is practicing in a serious relationship , cultivating trust, acceptance, and healing. I was wondering if anyone had any advice, suggestions on how to potentially go about treating it as I would hope to be able to perform sexually when I take up dating again and have it be a non issue. I figure this is at least worth exploring even if there either isnt an easy solution, or if im not ready to wholeheartedly pursue "fixing" this immediately

 

Thanks

[Geof Nanto]

@TranquilTurmoil

 

From what you’ve written about yourself on this forum, I’d say you’re on the right path. It’s nature that heals us and natural healing takes time. It’s slow, but increasing one's harmony with nature is the only way I know that gets to the root of the problems. Be patient, you've only just started with it.

 

I suggested a while back that you try shiatsu, maybe even learn it yourself.  Have you looked into doing that? It’s a gentle healing modality based on harmonising qi flow imbalances within our body’s meridian system. Learning it with a small group of people will give you plenty of nurturing, hands-on, healing contact. It’s a safe approach for gaining confidence towards deeper intimacy. Along with that, your teacher will probably recommend practicing some form of qigong. With methods such as these, you will slowly grow towards a deeper level of overall wellness. Focus on that rather than concern for any specific symptom, such as the sexual dysfunction and anxiety you mention. These will fade over time. 

[TranquilTurmoil]

When you suggested shiatsu the first time I dismissed it cause I didn’t have much control over my path. I still only have partial control over my path but it could be a solid building block for me. Other than that I think your advice is very sound.

 

it’s just that after being patient and waiting so long , these days I’m not a fan of restraint or forbearance and like to express myself and seek answers (if not action). Thanks 🙏🏼

25 minutes ago, Yueya said:

@TranquilTurmoil

 

From what you’ve written about yourself on this forum, I’d say you’re on the right path. It’s nature that heals us and natural healing takes time. It’s slow, but increasing one's harmony with nature is the only way I know that gets to the root of the problems. Be patient, you've only just started with it.

 

I suggested a while back that you try shiatsu, maybe even learn it yourself.  Have you looked into doing that? It’s a gentle healing modality based on harmonising qi flow imbalances within our body’s meridian system. Learning it with a small group of people will give you plenty of nurturing, hands-on, healing contact. It’s a safe approach for gaining confidence towards deeper intimacy. Along with that, your teacher will probably recommend practicing some form of qigong. With methods such as these, you will slowly grow towards a deeper level of overall wellness. Focus on that rather than concern for any specific symptom, such as the sexual dysfunction and anxiety you mention. These will fade over time. 

 

[TranquilTurmoil]

Just to clarify I don’t suffer from anxiety anymore, but I do self-monitor as a byproduct of insecurity, fear of rejection/abandonment… which I guess is related. It’s just that there’s no intensity to it, it’s just that the thought habit remains

[Geof Nanto]

Okay. There's nothing wrong your understanding of theory. And your ability to communicate is excellent. These areas are obviously not your weaknesses. That why I made the cultivation suggests I did.

 

You have my sincere good wishes, TT. 

[Toni]

For health I strongly recommend you fragrant qi gong, it can work wonders.

 

On the other hand, premature ejaculation is not a health problem. Are you sure this is a big problem for you? maybe you should think twice about this.

[TranquilTurmoil]

1 hour ago, Toni said:

For health I strongly recommend you fragrant qi gong, it can work wonders.

 

On the other hand, premature ejaculation is not a health problem. Are you sure this is a big problem for you? maybe you should think twice about this.

Hi. I dont need an immediate solution to it, but I don't see much distinction between sexual functionalities, well being, and mental health. If I told you the anguish it caused me from ate 18=20, the intrusive self conscious thoughts, the shame my HS girlfriend intentionally put me through, how I could never quite muster a healthy relationship in my 2 years of college due to insecurity and fear of humiliation..... Well I'd imagine you d think I was probably exaggerating or was not a mentally strong person.

 

Its not nearly as big a deal to me now, but it may be helpful to heal my self image and sexual confidence, in case i try to pursue dating again in the near future. I ll look up fragrant qi gong