TranquilTurmoil

Is fulfillment a worthwhile goal ?

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Whatever I say here will probably annoy you, as I am not talking in the same concepts as you do, so you will probably not resonate to it and throw it aside as it seems too foolish or simple and not spiritual enough, but here's to your initial questions by some outsider ...

 

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Is fulfillment a worthwhile goal?

 

Depends what you decide fulfillment is for you in the very moment.

Life is always changing, throwing new challenges at you, for you to take and maybe master and if not: learn from your 'failures'. If you reach/miss one bar, there'll just be another, for those who want to see it.

 

So this fulfilling/disappointing feeling is, in my opinion, only momentarily by nature, if you keep an open mind and stay flexible in your desires.

 

If you do develop long term goals (through decisive values) you've become certain about, like getting mentally tough, being financially independent, learning to detach from your emotions etc., you can train that in every action you take. 

 

You might see process and recess and regress over time (like when you watch a video series and overview the whole season, instead of just one episode of the characters life) and that can be in my opinion fulfilling and worthwhile, because it will be a great driving power, as it eases identifying the and dealing with the 'friction' (definition by von Clausewitz) of everyday life. When the 'friction' get's lesser through your constant work on yourself, it is a good way to live, I believe.

 

See also: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/OODA_loop as a concept to deal with in turbulent times. It is of exceptional use in extreme pressure situations or disorientation by the military and business. There are more simplified graphics on the internet that might suit more than the one in the link.

 

 

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The path of aimlessness and no-goal is lonely and burdensome. 

Either it is not the right (and worthwhile) path for you or you'll have to develop more toughness to go through it anyways, that's your decision alone.

 

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How does one negate the ego while adequately nourishing the spirit?

Applying morals in your every action, when before you have identified your true values that lead you to your specific set of morals.

 

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If you do your best to let go of your desires and still haven’t arrived at enduring serenity… do you just keep going? 

I'd advise you to change the perspective: not having arrived means there's stuff for you to do, to get to some place you either deem worthwhile or to handle in the best way whatever life throws at you with what you've got.

 

Whenever you'd want to listen to someone telling you something about detachment, discipline, qualities and  extreme ownership of actions, I would recommend tuning in to Jocko Willinks podcast. Maybe you wont resonate, still I believe it can help find your driving force inside you again. (Always helped me. And he has a good voice at least.)

 

 

He does some Q&A and goes through (some more some less) valuable books (Napoleon, Hackworth, Frederick the II., Musashi), whatever he picks out you can often make use of or reflect about in your own life, at least that's what I experienced.

He is way more oriented to living life than to the external and internal concepts, many people carry around with themselves while fighting with the friction as Don Quichotte with the windmills.
 

Edited by schroedingerscat
added link + spelling
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2 hours ago, TranquilTurmoil said:

I think stilling the mind, letting go of analytical thought, and not hurling myself at closed doors is key.

 

In the tradition I follow, we often “host” the challenging things in our lives in meditative practice. Enthusiasm will lead people to open doors to deep, dark places long before they are ready. One teaching is to work with whatever is active in us in any given moment. We don’t need to go looking for things or creating things, there is always going to be something that finds us. And if there is nothing to work with, no better opportunity to just rest and remain present and connected.

 

PS - nothing better IMO than nature walks

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What did it for me was reading and re-reading the same little book, The Impersonal Life.  And then continuing the mantra for years, until I finally understood it:  "Be still and know I Am God."

 

There's another thing worth mentioning too.  If we take a little of the focus away from ourselves and our own dilemmas, and think about another person instead; can you do something today to make their life a little better?....this goes a long way to take one out of one's self.  When you're thinking of another, there is no dis-ease of the mind.  We're not concerned with our spiritual status, which is all ego anyway.  It's magic.

 

 

 

Edited by manitou
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28 minutes ago, manitou said:

What did it for me was reading and re-reading the same little book, The Impersonal Life.  And then continuing the mantra for years, until I finally understood it:  "Be still and know I Am God."

 

There's another thing worth mentioning too.  If we take a little of the focus away from ourselves and our own dilemmas, and think about another person instead; can you do something today to make their life a little better?....this goes a long way to take one out of one's self.  When you're thinking of another, there is no dis-ease of the mind.  We're not concerned with our spiritual status, which is all ego anyway.  It's magic.

 

 

 

I guess what brought me into this crisis of sorts was entangling myself with precisely thinking about others. I wasnt concerned with my own fulfillment in it of itself, but that i wanted to help those I cared for, loved, longed for. Upon seeing that they had "moved on" so to speak I didn't have my comfortable sense of self or identity to rely on and I didn't know who to think of to help anymore. It's kind of complex.

 

As far as the "Be still and know I Am God" part.... well theology is quite confusing to me and learning about emptiness and no-self seems to simultaneously clarify things that seem harsh and unappealing (on the surface level of intellect at least) and confuse my sense of theism even more.

 

All in all I'm in a good place now lol :)

Edited by TranquilTurmoil

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1 hour ago, manitou said:

What did it for me was reading and re-reading the same little book, The Impersonal Life.  And then continuing the mantra for years, until I finally understood it:  "Be still and know I Am God."

 

Seems to be freely available and out of copyright:

 

https://stillnessspeaks.com/sitehtml/unknown/impersonallife.pdf

Edited by stirling
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Tennyson's poem In Memoriam:27, 1850:

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

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48 minutes ago, old3bob said:

Tennyson's poem In Memoriam:27, 1850:

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

"And I ran back to that hollow again

The moon was just a sliver back then

And I ached for my heart like some tin man

When it came oh it beat and it boiled and rang

Oh it's ringing

 

Ring like crazy, ring like hell

Turn me back into that wild haired gale

Ring like silver ring like gold

Turn these diamonds back into coal"

-"Stable Song" by Gregory Alan Isakor (randomly stumbled upon it a couple weeks ago)

 

I prefer the dissapointment of loving and longing in an unfulfilled way to lack of love... but it's all just phases/cycles of life if we relate to it wisely.

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On 7/14/2021 at 3:56 AM, freeform said:


Sure :) 

 

Happy to connect when you feel up to it. I wouldn’t treat differences of approach as barriers at all.

Just to update: I talked to Creation yesterday and have been either consciously or unconsciously allowing a lot of the advice i have received on this forum seep in and surface. Cultivating a much greater depth of stillness helps illuminate my more subtle clinging, grasping, aversions... I see that I can only talk these things through to a certain extent. Most of the work seems to be within, and I have realized I very much do need to re-empower my spirit/soul/Self/etc whilst still intending to have a relationship of "Voluntary dependence" on the Yi.. but in a harmonious way rather than a subservient/obedient one. Thus while taking in the advice (even the parts I didnt agree with or want) I'm not going to hastedly seek to throw myself into a new environment immediatedly, but am becoming more and more open to finding a suitable teacher/method/community for me. The main obstacle to this right now doesn't seem to be my reliance on the Yi, but rather obstructions that I am dealing with... A closed heart (as of recent) is surely the main one and a strong secondary one has to do with timing. As I am trying to thaw the ice rather than seeking to be understood as my primary intention, I welcome all dialogue that can help lead toward that (whether from @freeform or anyone else). However, as I'm dealing with the two obstructions of a closed heart and how timing is crucial to my path and is inseperable from the state of my heart/mind... I can only guarantee to take it one step at a time.

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To add: I feel like the only remedies I have at my disposal right now are meditation and nature. They are great medicines in their own right but are seemingly insufficient to restore my love, joy, enthusiasm (I am still pretty motivated I think). Whatever external path I need I would like it to be a path that meets me halfway so I could hopefully naturally and lovingly want to do it (I don’t feel drawn to volunteer work or immersing myself in an environment with “ordinary people” at this moment). Thought that might be useful 🙏🏼

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I'll add another tool I would suggest leveraging: Surrender. Let go of the idea that "you" are going to restore or shift anything. Accept this moment, however lacking in the qualities you desire, as it is. 

 

The qualities you are hoping to "restore" are the natural qualities of enlightened mind, and are thus always present underneath the control you might try to exercise over life situations. :)

 

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Saw a beautiful message from Sri Sri Ravishankar recently (paraphrasing here) — 
 

if you are on the spiritual path and still are unhappy, then you are missing one or more of the following —

 

  • surrender (surrender the ego’s desires to God/dao/Self). 
  • detachment (from chasing after pleasure/aversion to pain) 
  • service (dedicating our work to the benefit of others).

This “unhappiness” is a result of lack of fulfillment. Fulfillment can never by attained by acquisition, but rather by relinquishment. 

 

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I always seem to have two of the three @dwai . Right now I’m at one of the three (detachment) . I spent so long feeling and being powerless that at my first taste of external freedom I’m resisting surrendering. And I don’t have an open heart to serve others at this moment which is why I’m trying to will my way towards it. But if that’s delusion I just have to take @stirling advice and wholeheartedly return to surrender. 
 

i believe that my heart’s love is merely obscured not “gone” but it’s hard just calmly bearing with emotional rigidity. That doesn’t mean it isn’t worthwhile . It’s also harder to surrender as these threads have led me to dissociate a bit from my external concept of a Higher Power to revere. I’m trying to redirect my reverence towards my essence… I ll keep trying 🙏🏼

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4 hours ago, TranquilTurmoil said:

obstructions that I am dealing with... A closed heart (as of recent) is surely the main one and a strong secondary one has to do with timing.


What do you mean specifically by closed heart? And what specifically is the issue around timing?

 

1 hour ago, TranquilTurmoil said:

restore my love, joy, enthusiasm


Is this what an open heart would mean for you?

 

1 hour ago, TranquilTurmoil said:

(I don’t feel drawn to volunteer work or immersing myself in an environment with “ordinary people” at this moment)


Is this what you mean by timing?

 

1 hour ago, TranquilTurmoil said:

the only remedies I have at my disposal right now are meditation and nature.


So I would actually suggest being very moderate with meditation for now. Sitting and letting things calm down and settle naturally for 30 minutes is great. (Do things settle? Or do you get agitated?)

 

Secondly I’d suggest getting physical. I know you’re not in the most robust health at the moment, so start gentle.

 

Combine it with with walks out in nature… maybe walk briskly to a nice spot, then take some time to do some squats, stretching, mobility exercises, or even a gentle jog - whatever works for you - but always aiming to be at the edge of your comfort level - never pushing way beyond or languishing well within your comfort barriers.

 

If you can make it very regular, that’s even better. For instance if you can, take your walk early in the morning, every morning, at the same time - that would be the best case scenario.
 

Similarly, do your seated practice in the evening at a set time before bed. Make your sleep and wake times regular.

 

This regularity sounds boring and possibly stifling spontaneity - but it’s something your body craves, and you will find a whole new level of freedom and appreciation when you settle into a regular rhythm. 

 

Thirdly, get your mind outside of yourself. Find something you can do that isn’t focused on yourself - something that doesn’t require constant self-analysis. You seem like you might be quite creative - maybe get good at playing an instrument or drawing/painting - something like that. Something that requires developing your skill.

 

The way to do this is in a structured way - such as by following online lessons. You want to get better at your chosen endeavour, not just enjoy the doing of it (though that’s also important). There needs to be a bit of pressure and a bit of difficulty - not just coasting.

 

I know this isn't quite the ‘spiritual’ perspectives you might be looking for - but to surrender, to let go, to stop reactive craving and aversion, you must develop a steady foundation first - you must build some strength to be able to release.

Edited by freeform
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1 minute ago, freeform said:


What do you mean specifically by closed heart? And what specifically is the issue around timing?

 


Is this what an open heart would mean for you?

 


Is this what you mean by timing?

 


So I would actually suggest being very moderate with meditation for now. Sitting and letting things calm down and settle naturally for 30 minutes is great. (Do things settle? Or do you get agitated?)

 

Secondly I’d suggest getting physical. I know you’re not in the most robust health at the moment, so start gentle.

 

Combine it with with walks out in nature… maybe walk briskly to a nice spot, then take some time to do some squats, stretching, mobility exercises, or even a gentle jog - whatever works for you - but always aiming to be at the edge of your comfort level - never pushing way beyond or languishing well within your comfort barriers.

 

If you can make it very regular, that’s even better. For instance if you can, take your walk early in the morning, every morning, at the same time - that would be the best case scenario.
 

Similarly, do your seated practice in the evening at a set time before bed. Make your sleep and wake times regular.

 

This regularity sounds boring and possibly stifling spontaneity - but it’s something your body craves, and you will find a whole new level of freedom and appreciation when you settle into a regular rhythm. 

 

Thirdly, get your mind outside of yourself. Find something you can do that isn’t focused on yourself - something that doesn’t require constant self-analysis. You seem like you might be quite creative - maybe get good at playing an instrument or drawing/painting - something like that.

 

The way to do this is in a structured way - such as by following online lessons. You want to get better at your chosen endeavour, not just enjoy the doing of it (though that’s also important). There needs to be a bit of pressure and a bit of difficulty - not just coasting.

 

I know this isn't quite the ‘spiritual’ perspectives you might be looking for - but to surrender, to let go, to stop reactive craving and aversion, you must develop a steady foundation first - you must build some strength to be able to release.

My closed heart feels like before I was filled with loving kindness especially towards my friends, cat, family, nature and all beings in general. Right now I feel like my compassion is intact but I’m more like a soul trapped in my body than emotionally connected in a healthy, lighthearted way.

 

The timing issue revolves around the philosophy of the Yi… advance in times of light + favorable conditions, wait when clouded with obstructions  (generally speaking) and retreat in times of darkness.

im sort of in between all three phases right now in different ways at different moments… nonetheless the philosophy of the Yi is to not “cross the great water” in times of inner turmoil or inner/outer opposition… in such times it’s best to seek counsel and stop halfway.

 

I don’t mean “open heart” in terms of feeling self-fulfilled I mean it in terms of feeling connected to the outer world and having a spontaneous and genuine desire to nourish it/alleviate suffering.

 

will respond to the other parts in the next post

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9 minutes ago, freeform said:


What do you mean specifically by closed heart? And what specifically is the issue around timing?

 


Is this what an open heart would mean for you?

 


Is this what you mean by timing?

 


So I would actually suggest being very moderate with meditation for now. Sitting and letting things calm down and settle naturally for 30 minutes is great. (Do things settle? Or do you get agitated?)

 

Secondly I’d suggest getting physical. I know you’re not in the most robust health at the moment, so start gentle.

 

Combine it with with walks out in nature… maybe walk briskly to a nice spot, then take some time to do some squats, stretching, mobility exercises, or even a gentle jog - whatever works for you - but always aiming to be at the edge of your comfort level - never pushing way beyond or languishing well within your comfort barriers.

 

If you can make it very regular, that’s even better. For instance if you can, take your walk early in the morning, every morning, at the same time - that would be the best case scenario.
 

Similarly, do your seated practice in the evening at a set time before bed. Make your sleep and wake times regular.

 

This regularity sounds boring and possibly stifling spontaneity - but it’s something your body craves, and you will find a whole new level of freedom and appreciation when you settle into a regular rhythm. 

 

Thirdly, get your mind outside of yourself. Find something you can do that isn’t focused on yourself - something that doesn’t require constant self-analysis. You seem like you might be quite creative - maybe get good at playing an instrument or drawing/painting - something like that.

 

The way to do this is in a structured way - such as by following online lessons. You want to get better at your chosen endeavour, not just enjoy the doing of it (though that’s also important). There needs to be a bit of pressure and a bit of difficulty - not just coasting.

 

I know this isn't quite the ‘spiritual’ perspectives you might be looking for - but to surrender, to let go, to stop reactive craving and aversion, you must develop a steady foundation first - you must build some strength to be able to release.

For the past week I had been going for 2 hour walk/sit/walk at a local lake every morning. I took a break the past two days for better or worse (I may need to let my feet recover). Until 10 days ago I would walk Monday-Friday with my hospital friend at 1pm and eat with him, but he got insecure and lashed out at me and temporarily terminated the friendship.

 

As for meditation, I generally sit about 20 mins at a time several times a day as my body/mind requires. It is settling/restorative… I’m not pushing myself with it nor am I becoming lax. It feels just right. Besides that I walk (mostly in my house but a couple hours a day outside). Drawing might be a good idea for me.

 

my sleep schedule is a bit variable thanks to my lovely indoor/outdoor cat and his 5 moderate meals a day lol… I also had a quite rigid structure with sleep/meals and visiting hours in the hospital for many years… combined with my energetic/psychological makeup at the moment I am a bit averse to over-structuring my days right now… but I’m sure gradually integrating structure could be a boon.

 

 I have recently stumbled upon a simple and effective practice to bring my energy out of my mind and into my body/environment from the book “Hidden Zen” by Meido Moore.. my go to method of creative expression happens to be singing and poetry which is always self-referential.

 

your advice wasn’t off putting or abrasive… I ll try to apply it as it seems helpful and am always appreciative of sincerity and insightful perspectives 🙏🏼

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15 minutes ago, TranquilTurmoil said:

I always seem to have two of the three @dwai . Right now I’m at one of the three (detachment) . I spent so long feeling and being powerless that at my first taste of external freedom I’m resisting surrendering. And I don’t have an open heart to serve others at this moment which is why I’m trying to will my way towards it. But if that’s delusion I just have to take @stirling advice and wholeheartedly return to surrender. 

Each or any of these will lead to the opening of the heart. 

 

Let's take the case of service to others. So long as you do it from a "self" involved perspective, it is really not service in the true sense per se. To serve others without any expectation of reward or praise, will automatically lead to love/opening of the heart. Because your limited sense of self will have expanded to all those whom your serve. So service leads to expansion of the self to involve others. Opening the heart will deepen the ability to surrender.

 

Detachment -- this comes from the wisdom of recognizing the real from the unreal/ephemeral. Pleasures come and go. Pains come and go. To become detached from these experiences, neither shun, nor chase after them will lead to a dropping of the sense of "I, me, and mine". This will in turn lead to the ability to serve others selflessly, which will again lead to a genuine opening of the spiritual heart. It will also facilitate surrender. 

 

Surrender -- When we can detach, we can also surrender. In fact, one of the best ways to detach IS to surrender. Surrender can deepen detachment. Detachment can deepen our ability to serve in a selfless manner. 

 

15 minutes ago, TranquilTurmoil said:

 

i believe that my heart’s love is merely obscured not “gone” but it’s hard just calmly bearing with emotional rigidity. That doesn’t mean it isn’t worthwhile . It’s also harder to surrender as these threads have led me to dissociate a bit from my external concept of a Higher Power to revere. I’m trying to redirect my reverence towards my essence… I ll keep trying 🙏🏼

 

Don't overthink it. If a Higher Power comes easier to you and works for you -- by all means, surrender to that. There are as many paths as there are people (literally). Don't be beholden to the path laid out by anyone if it doesn't resonate with you, just because they can talk up a good talk. I feel you're at a point where you can sense what works for you and what doesn't. So trust your instinct and have faith in your practice. 

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9 minutes ago, TranquilTurmoil said:

I also had a quite rigid structure with sleep/meals and visiting hours in the hospital for many years… combined with my energetic/psychological makeup at the moment I am a bit averse to over-structuring my days right now…


It’s different when it’s your own will putting structure into place - rather than having it imposed on you.

 

11 minutes ago, TranquilTurmoil said:

For the past week I had been going for 2 hour walk/sit/walk at a local lake every morning.


Perfect - see if you can add some stretching or joint rotations or something like that into this routine.

 

12 minutes ago, TranquilTurmoil said:

my go to method of creative expression happens to be singing and poetry which is always self-referential.


Creative self expression is great - but it must be tempered by the development of skill. This is why I suggest following a course that builds your skill over time.

 

So just to summarise my suggestions:

 

- Develop routine and structure your days

 

- Get your attention out of self analysis and onto something outside of yourself.

 

- Move and exercise your body gently.

 

- Build skill in something you enjoy.

 

- Surf the edge of your comfort zone in all you do (the edge always moves).

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2 minutes ago, dwai said:

Each or any of these will lead to the opening of the heart. 

 

Let's take the case of service to others. So long as you do it from a "self" involved perspective, it is really not service in the true sense per se. To serve others without any expectation of reward or praise, will automatically lead to love/opening of the heart. Because your limited sense of self will have expanded to all those whom your serve. So service leads to expansion of the self to involve others. Opening the heart will deepen the ability to surrender.

 

Detachment -- this comes from the wisdom of recognizing the real from the unreal/ephemeral. Pleasures come and go. Pains come and go. To become detached from these experiences, neither shun, nor chase after them will lead to a dropping of the sense of "I, me, and mine". This will in turn lead to the ability to serve others selflessly, which will again lead to a genuine opening of the spiritual heart. It will also facilitate surrender. 

 

Surrender -- When we can detach, we can also surrender. In fact, one of the best ways to detach IS to surrender. Surrender can deepen detachment. Detachment can deepen our ability to serve in a selfless manner. 

 

 

Don't overthink it. If a Higher Power comes easier to you and works for you -- by all means, surrender to that. There are as many paths as there are people (literally). Don't be beholden to the path laid out by anyone if it doesn't resonate with you, just because they can talk up a good talk. I feel you're at a point where you can sense what works for you and what doesn't. So trust your instinct and have faith in your practice. 

That’s wise insight/advice on the three methods. I guess how I relate to this is that I’m a bit stifled/frustrated for after having free-flowing light/love/positive energy for a few years (even in the face of repeated let downs/disappointments) that  afflictions I had hoped I had permanently overcome unexpectedly re-surface.

 

I also recognize that true service is done without hope or expectation for recognition or reward… but I’m burnt out from trying to serve for years and being pushed away, misled, having love unreciprocated (even and especially by platonic friends). So I feel I have to cultivate surrender and detachment and dabble in service for now before I can healthily and successfully attempt to throw myself into service again. And since I follow a Wei Wu Wei type path I don’t think I’m in a position at this moment to seek out opportunities to serve specifically.

 

I’m quite conflicted about my dynamic with my Higher Power… partly because of teachings on emptiness that I’m partial to, partly because everyone on the forum as well as everyone else I have ever talked to is rather opposed to my dynamic of my surrendering to the Yi to varying extents… combined with my current state of on and off frustration… I will need to sort it out one step at a time 🙏🏼

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3 minutes ago, freeform said:


It’s different when it’s your own will putting structure into place - rather than having it imposed on you.

 


Perfect - see if you can add some stretching or joint rotations or something like that into this routine.

 


Creative self expression is great - but it must be tempered by the development of skill. This is why I suggest following a course that builds your skill over time.

 

So just to summarise my suggestions:

 

- Develop routine and structure your days

 

- Get your attention out of self analysis and onto something outside of yourself.

 

- Move and exercise your body gently.

 

- Build skill in something you enjoy.

 

- Surf the edge of your comfort zone in all you do (the edge always moves).

Thanks 🙏🏼

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39 minutes ago, TranquilTurmoil said:

The timing issue revolves around the philosophy of the Yi… advance in times of light + favorable conditions, wait when clouded with obstructions  (generally speaking) and retreat in times of darkness.

im sort of in between all three phases right now in different ways at different moments… nonetheless the philosophy of the Yi is to not “cross the great water” in times of inner turmoil or inner/outer opposition… in such times it’s best to seek counsel and stop halfway.

 

 

It sounds like you are still trying to control things with the Yi structure.  It's still a structure.  Try just Letting It Be.  The Beatles knew of what they spake.  :)

 

 

 

Edited by manitou
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19 minutes ago, manitou said:

 

 

It sounds like you are still trying to control things with the Yi structure.  It's still a structure.  Try just Letting It Be.  The Beatles knew of what they spake.  :)

 

 

 

Whether we agree or disagree on the Yi… light and darkness are in my experience real/visceral energies… trying to free will it while not heeding which energies are present (within/without) never tends to lead to a desirable result.

 

nonetheless, I do love Let it Be :)

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2 hours ago, TranquilTurmoil said:

Whether we agree or disagree on the Yi… light and darkness are in my experience real/visceral energies… trying to free will it while not heeding which energies are present (within/without) never tends to lead to a desirable result.

 

nonetheless, I do love Let it Be :)

 

 

Not sure what you're talking about, I know nothing about this tradition.  But just speaking philosophically (and totally ignorant of the martial arts traditions, other than appreciation) it seems like there would be a bar to complete integration, when the mind must hold the difference between black/white,  male/female,  good/bad,  negative/positive.  It's only when we label it when the Dao starts to separate into 2.  and then 3.  And then, sure as s**t, those darn 10,000 things. 

 

The peace in the heart is found when there is no distinction that you make of what is right or wrong, or black or white.  It doesn't matter.  It's all the same thing.  Intelligent matter that can somehow retain form in various shapes, sizes, and degrees of awareness.  Hopefully we're the tip of the spear, but these days I wonder.

 

 

 

Edited by manitou
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