Does anyone else have aphantasia?

[zerostao]

On 11/2/2021 at 7:31 AM, silent thunder said:

I've come to realize that we all experience life from the center of our own awareness.  Stone, human, ant, leaf, mushroom...

 

And yet, being all one process, we (humans at least) can seemingly  bridge out of that singular experience (either through training or natural ability, or accident) to experience the vast and expansive consciousness...

 

and then tunnel down internally again, seemingly without end in either direction.

I wonder if mushrooms have expanded awareness. I wonder that not just because they’ve expanded mine a time or two.

I think mushrooms are waiting for the right moment to save the planet. Sometimes, I think that. Anyways. 

[Nungali]

This is tangential  but  here is a deaf woman, Evelyn Glennie ,  that 'hears'  vibration though the soles of her feet -  which allows her to   ......

 

 

 

[silent thunder]

9 hours ago, zerostao said:

I wonder if mushrooms have expanded awareness. I wonder that not just because they’ve expanded mine a time or two.

I think mushrooms are waiting for the right moment to save the planet. Sometimes, I think that. Anyways. 

Whole heartedly agree.

 

On two occasions psylocibin prompted insights that led to the dissolution of blockage and held trauma that had endured for decades.

 

Fungus is literally essential to life on our planet and in my case, is immeasurable in its value.

[anshino23]

19 hours ago, Seeking said:

There was a guy I know, heavily into Qigong, and he could "see" the energetic outlines of his limbs as he moved them in front of closed eyes during practice. He could also sense the distance to other people in group practice with unerring precision. This was a rarity in my research into cultivators inner processing but a very interesting one. He said the artist Alex Greys' style had underlying similarities with his perception but with a lot of artistic license thrown in:

 

 

Ever since doing lots of psychedelics in my mid twenties I can see fractals if I want to. Either closed eyed or simply keep looking at a white wall and the fractal pattern mesh will start unfolding. It's quite remarkable. It's like neural patterns are formed and the brain/mind recognises them again easily. I also appreciate trees and depth-perception much more after those trips, even many years later. 

 

If you're watching stars on a dark night you should also be able to see an almost spider-like threads that connect all the stars together... I am unsure whether these are the same thing as 'leylines', but damn it if it doesn't look cool. Also feels like you can connect to the different stars and even glide your consciousness across those webs to kinda expand your consciousness further into all the stars. It's pretty wild when you play with it.  

Edited November 11, 2021 by anshino23

[Nungali]

12 hours ago, anshino23 said:

 

Ever since doing lots of psychedelics in my mid twenties I can see fractals if I want to. Either closed eyed or simply keep looking at a white wall and the fractal pattern mesh will start unfolding. It's quite remarkable. It's like neural patterns are formed and the brain/mind recognises them again easily. I also appreciate trees and depth-perception much more after those trips, even many years later. 

 

If you're watching stars on a dark night you should also be able to see an almost spider-like threads that connect all the stars together... I am unsure whether these are the same thing as 'leylines', but damn it if it doesn't look cool. Also feels like you can connect to the different stars and even glide your consciousness across those webs to kinda expand your consciousness further into all the stars. It's pretty wild when you play with it.  

 

Its a common theme in some indigenous skyscape  art ;

 

 

 

- its also  in landscape  ; 'songlines' connect 'sacred sites'  ;

 

  

 

Once , from a high cliff looking over country I got a vision of this  perspective  and understood what the Aboriginal artist sees - country explodes into a kaleidoscope  of energy patterns  and connections .   It was not stimulated by psychedelics , but other sources ( a temporary given 'gift'  / insight )  - although it  looked psychedelic  .

 

 

 

 

[forestofclarity]

17 hours ago, anshino23 said:

Either closed eyed or simply keep looking at a white wall and the fractal pattern mesh will start unfolding. It's quite remarkable.

 

Is this different from say, the Ganzfeld effect or phosphenes? 

 

I've never done psychedelics, but I often see geometric patterns at night and all sorts of strangeness looking at something for a time (often done in meditation). 

 

https://scienceline.org/2014/12/why-do-we-see-colors-with-our-eyes-closed/

[silent thunder]

I expect it's an innate function in some folks.  Psychedellics may trigger it in the latent and magnifies it in those who naturally have it.

[anshino23]

On 12.11.2021 at 3:55 AM, forestofemptiness said:

 

Is this different from say, the Ganzfeld effect or phosphenes? 

 

I've never done psychedelics, but I often see geometric patterns at night and all sorts of strangeness looking at something for a time (often done in meditation). 

 

https://scienceline.org/2014/12/why-do-we-see-colors-with-our-eyes-closed/

 

Completely different. It's not phosphones. 

 

It's a fractal overlay. 

 

 

Like this. Do you get that?

[silent thunder]

4 hours ago, anshino23 said:

 

Completely different. It's not phosphones. 

 

It's a fractal overlay. 

 

 

Like this. Do you get that?

This fractaling arises whenever I stare into clouds, the blue sky, the night sky, at the ocean, into leaf canopies, ponds, flowing water, at blank walls, ceilings (tiled, smooth or popcorn) and with eyes closed and turned to the sun.  The refraction of light through closed eyelids coalesces into mandala like patterns nigh on instantly. 

 

When light levels are low, these patterns will overlay nearly all visual input.

 

When in pitch darkness, another level entirely manifests with eyes open, or closed.

 

There is so much power in pitch dark work for me, it was and remains deeply, penetratingly transformative.  There was a distinct time in my praxis when my very skin was telling me, nay, demanding of me that it was craving darkness.  Too much light stimulation all the time.  'We need lightlessness' was the call and it persisted, unrelentingly until local awareness listened and i complied.  So much benefit followed.

 

Our modern cities and even many rural areas are never dark and this has a cumulative effect over time, for some.  I'm going to make a new darkness box soon and return to sitting in pitch black, eyes open meditations this winter.  Even star and moonlight in the deep forest is too much light for such work. 

[Nungali]

The only time it is dark ... I mean real dark ....   here is  a Moonless night with a very  heavy cloud cover .   The city dwelling visitor is surprised that one can walk at night by starlight only - on a clear night  . 

 

Seems a LOT of trouble making a box for that  ?    

 

That is what we used to use these for ;

 

Tau robe .

 

 the material at the back should have enough slack so the front can be pulled down to the front collar .

[forestofclarity]

16 hours ago, anshino23 said:

 

Completely different. It's not phosphones. 

 

It's a fractal overlay. 

 

 

Like this. Do you get that?

 

I would say more like pixels of different shapes. Sometimes round, sometimes sharp. 

[silent thunder]

7 hours ago, Nungali said:

The only time it is dark ... I mean real dark ....   here is  a Moonless night with a very  heavy cloud cover .   The city dwelling visitor is surprised that one can walk at night by starlight only - on a clear night  . 

 

Seems a LOT of trouble making a box for that  ?    

 

That is what we used to use these for ;

 

Tau robe .

 

 the material at the back should have enough slack so the front can be pulled down to the front collar .

Starlight, even in the woods is far too bright for this work.

To work in pitch black there must be no light whatsoever.

It's not just the eyes, but the skin as well, the whole beingness of it.

Caves work, but not many of those around.

 

In order to achieve lightlessness where I live, a black box or a dark room is necessary.

Don't have the space for a dark room, but have used a black box to great effect in the past and it's no trouble to build.

Just takes a bit of time.

[anshino23]

10 hours ago, forestofemptiness said:

I would say more like pixels of different shapes. Sometimes round, sometimes sharp. 

 

Yeah, so not the same. 

[anshino23]

22 hours ago, silent thunder said:

This fractaling arises whenever I stare into clouds, the blue sky, the night sky, at the ocean, into leaf canopies, ponds, flowing water, at blank walls, ceilings (tiled, smooth or popcorn) and with eyes closed and turned to the sun.  The refraction of light through closed eyelids coalesces into mandala like patterns nigh on instantly. 

 

Amazing... Thank you for sharing. 

[silent thunder]

@forestofemptiness what you described brings to mind the work of Alex Grey.

 

 

[silent thunder]

decided to share less...

Edited November 14, 2021 by silent thunder

[Nungali]

On 14/11/2021 at 3:46 PM, silent thunder said:

Starlight, even in the woods is far too bright for this work.

To work in pitch black there must be no light whatsoever.

It's not just the eyes, but the skin as well, the whole beingness of it.

Caves work, but not many of those around.

 

In order to achieve lightlessness where I live, a black box or a dark room is necessary.

Don't have the space for a dark room, but have used a black box to great effect in the past and it's no trouble to build.

Just takes a bit of time.

 

yep , like I said , one can walk around by starlight .

 

The tau robe gives darkness to skin  ;  sit cross legs or in lotus (feet covered) , hood pulled down, hands up opposite sleeves .

 

Try it ,  it works well. Also its handy , as my friend does   (his is a 'black out robe ' for filming  ) to hang on the hook on the back of the front door .

 

< knock knock .... looks through peep hole  ..... sees Jehovah's Witnesses  ..... puts on robe and hood .... opens door >

 

" Yeeeesssss ? " 

[forestofclarity]

On 11/14/2021 at 9:03 AM, silent thunder said:

@forestofemptiness what you described brings to mind the work of Alex Grey.

 

You can get a similar effect by closing the eyes tightly, and sometimes pressing gently on them them. 

[silent thunder]

3 hours ago, forestofemptiness said:

 

You can get a similar effect by closing the eyes tightly, and sometimes pressing gently on them them. 

Yup, I also get it at times by loosening focus slightly while staring at a blank wall, or other similar surface.

Was curious if this effect was closer to what you were describing.

[forestofclarity]

1 hour ago, silent thunder said:

Yup, I also get it at times by loosening focus slightly while staring at a blank wall, or other similar surface.

Was curious if this effect was closer to what you were describing.

 

I would say so. 

[silent thunder]

Bumping this to add another aspect of Aphantasia that applies to not being able to hear music in one's mind.  My wife also revealed she never recalls hearing music in her mind.  While I have music constantly arising spontaneously, like thoughts every day.  I often wake to a song in mid-refrain.  I can hear every instrument and can turn the 'volume' up or down.

 

This audtory aphantasia reasons out because whenever she's trying to recall a song and I used to suggest, well just hum a bit of it... she struggles.  Instead of being able to hum it, she searches for words to describe the song.  When I suggest she sing it in her head and then hum it out loud, she gives me the tilted head look like... 'hear it in my head?'  That does not happen for her.

 

Turns out aphantasia applies to more than just sight.

 

This all belies how vastly our inner landscapes and mind may differ from one other.  My wife and I share incredible similarities and astounding differences.  But I am still rather stunned that being able to see or hear in the mind's eye and ear is not foundational for all humans.  How many other vast assumptions can we be making based on our own experiential processing?

 

Now I'm curious about aphantasiatic scents... for some time, on and off the cusion I have begun to smell scents that no one around me can.  I ask continually when a strong scent arises now, to see if my wife or son also smell it. 

 

Being curious if I was experiencing a symptom of a possible, brain tumor I explored this and after a scan no tumor was detected.  But as clearly as I smell anything else, these 'phantom scents' arise occasionally and it seems to be internally generated, or sensed. 

Edited May 18, 2022 by silent thunder