The Gods and Magic

[helpfuldemon]

The Gods work on deception.  They are silent, invisible, and they do not reveal.  Magic is unreliable and we do not know the result of what we do with it.  We do not know the acts of the Gods.  We cannot rely on these things!  

 

From my experience I can say that the only good prayer to the Gods is a thanks for mercy, for they do not have to be.  We do not know what they do or why.  Thank them for their mercy and let them be off to do what they do.  

 

Magic has a way of biting you in the ass, for if you have magic, then so too can someone else, and then you get into witch wars.  Keeping track of your spell craft is annoying and pointless.  If you desire something, then do something to acquire it!  All you have to do is ask, don't be neurotic about it!  I know that the magical life is appealing, trust me, I know.  But it is madness I say!  Do not let your Will go to waste!  Face your fears and attain to your desires, it is as simple as asking.  

[Cheshire Cat]

There is only one God... and He generally forbids magic.

 

[Jadespear]

12 hours ago, helpfuldemon said:

The Gods work on deception.  They are silent, invisible, and they do not reveal.  Magic is unreliable and we do not know the result of what we do with it.  We do not know the acts of the Gods.  We cannot rely on these things!  

 

From my experience I can say that the only good prayer to the Gods is a thanks for mercy, for they do not have to be.  We do not know what they do or why.  Thank them for their mercy and let them be off to do what they do.  

 

Magic has a way of biting you in the ass, for if you have magic, then so too can someone else, and then you get into witch wars.  Keeping track of your spell craft is annoying and pointless.  If you desire something, then do something to acquire it!  All you have to do is ask, don't be neurotic about it!  I know that the magical life is appealing, trust me, I know.  But it is madness I say!  Do not let your Will go to waste!  Face your fears and attain to your desires, it is as simple as asking.  

 

 

... you're not describing anything close to what actual magicians know and do.  

 

...your rants on magic on this site are pretty immature.  

 

... if you took a more cognizant approach with real understanding of things you may pierce into the truth of things.  Otherwise, your'e just going to keep on ranting about gods and nonsense...  real magicians don't rely on gods, prayers, or anything but themselves, their own knowledge, and their own ability.  

 

... and I also think you greatly misunderstand what real magic actually is and is meant for.  It's not a game, or a tool to satisfy your own curiosity, neurotic impulses, or even your own selfish ambitions.  Magic is a real way of working with the laws of existence to restore things, people, and places back into natural balance and harmony after they have been askew...  and it is also a way to sow your own and others destiny step by step.  It's the ultimate science and art of everything in this universe, perhaps a way to other universes...

 

please consider what you are spending time on and why.  

 

 

[Nungali]

If I was the one and only God  ....   I would forbid  ....

 

 

 

 

helpfuldemon to write about  'magic' .

 

 

[Nungali]

2 minutes ago, Jadespear said:

 

 

... you're not describing anything close to what actual magicians know and do.  

 

...your rants on magic on this site are pretty immature.  

 

... if you took a more cognizant approach with real understanding of things you may pierce into the truth of things.  Otherwise, your'e just going to keep on ranting about gods and nonsense...  real magicians don't rely on gods, prayers, or anything but themselves, their own knowledge, and their own ability.  

 

... and I also think you greatly misunderstand what real magic actually is and is meant for.  It's not a game, or a tool to satisfy your own curiosity, neurotic impulses, or even your own selfish ambitions.  Magic is a real way of working with the laws of existence to restore things, people, and places back into natural balance and harmony after they have been askew...  and it is also a way to sow your own and others destiny step by step.  It's the ultimate science and art of everything in this universe, perhaps a way to other universes...

 

please consider what you are spending time on and why.  

 

 

 

 

 even if it was not as you say .... his rants, opinions and 'advice'   change and switch from day to day .

 

he is all over the place ... just as well its so obvious, that way no one will take it as advice  or even experience  -  it is , just  as you say ,

 

r a n t i n g  .

 

 

[Daniel]

2 hours ago, Cheshire Cat said:

There is only one God... and He generally forbids magic.

 

 

why do you say that?  if I recall the prohibition is directed at the Jewish nation, not others.

[natural]

18 minutes ago, Nungali said:

If I was the one and only God  ....   I would forbid  ....

 

 

 

 

helpfuldemon to write about  'magic' .

 

 

All I can say is be careful very careful ... from your lips or keyboard to ....

[Cheshire Cat]

8 hours ago, Daniel said:

 

why do you say that?  if I recall the prohibition is directed at the Jewish nation, not others.

 

The old and traditional concept of Magic -in the West and in the middle east- used to be the one in which the magician receives the assistance of spiritual beings to accomplish various works (divination, healing, separate husband and wife, kill, change the weather, etc...).

Very simple: human beings have little power while spirits are very powerfull. Seek their help, pay with various offerings and maybe some vows... and all of your Magic depends 100% on the assistance of Spiritual beings.

 

And it was so until very recent times when yogic, tantric and psychology influences gradually changed this paradigm, but that's offtopic.

 

BTW, the advent of monotheism faced the old concept of Magic with the new idea of worshipping God and making offerings (and requests) to Him alone. It was not acceptable to worship spirits to get magical abilities.

So, magic was plainly banned in the old testament. 

But people are smart and they came up with a new idea: theurgy ... which is Magic performed with God's permission and power.

The legend of Solomon is that of a king that was granted by God the power to control djinns: here's the trick. The idea developed trough the centuries in jewish culture and early christians were absolutely in love with the idea of controlling demons in the name of Jesus (see Celsius) either for curing sickness with exorcisms (which remained in mainstream religion) or wealth, protection, etc... but not divination as prophecy was believed to come directly from the holy spirit.

See the story of Simon Magus, Simon the magician who tried to buy the power of the Holy Spirit.

 

In time, the church banned magic again and the old practices of controlling demons in the name of Jesus were forgotten and lost.

So, magicians had to either copy jewish magic or manipulate ortodhox christian practices to come up with satanic magic (like the black mass, etc...). 

 

In the islamic traditions, magic was banned as well by God in the Qu'ran.

There are many interesting stories like the one of Harut and Marut, the angels of magic... the tradition of Sulayman and the divine names given to Adam, etc...

Anyway, islamic magicians used the concept of theurgy as well and magic flourished. We've all heard of Al Buni, his Shem ul ma'arif, djinn magic, etc...

 

The question is: does God allow theurgy? Or is it in the same category of the magic that he banned?

 

 

Edited September 20, 2022 by Cheshire Cat

[Nungali]

It doesnt matter what someone's  'one and only God ' thinks, insists , orders, demands  or 'allows'   ..... unless you are an obedient servant to such a false concept .

 

 

Go throw your tantrums somewhere else  'one and only God '  

 

Monotheism is actually a false concept and only exists in Islam . Christianity is not monotheistic, it is henotheistic .

 

 

 

 

.

Edited September 20, 2022 by Nungali

[helpfuldemon]

I never used to believe in "the Gods".  I thought, if there was a God, then let that God do what He will do.  I thought, if there is a Heaven, then, if I do a good job on Earth, I will get it, and so I focused on being a good person.  I had a lot of personal work to do!  I was a terrible child, a thief, and angry.  I didn't see the world as fair, I thought people were cruel, and so I became cruel.  I had no laws and I was a spiteful embarrassment to my family.  Then one of my best friends was killed in a car accident at the age of 18, right after High School graduation.  She was so beautiful and intelligent, and I was ashamed that I was still alive while she was taken from the world.  I confronted myself, and I realized I was a terrible person.  I swore that I would do what she could have, and so I went about changing myself for the better.  I gained control over my impulses, I stopped treating people poorly, and I stopped being cruel.  I became kind, and started obeying most laws.  

 

When I was 22 I heard of self actualization, and started contemplating that.  I went through a deep depression and didn't know how to perceive the world.  I thought "What is true?  What is real?"  I considered what I knew.  I believed in a God, and so I asked myself what I knew about this God.  The words "God is love" resonated with me, and I figured that if God is love, and the creator, then He made this world, and the world was love.  I was renewed.  I made a lot of friends and was very active creatively.  I enjoyed my life a great deal in those days, was always active, had many friends and lots to do and explore.  

 

I studied fine arts at an expressionist school and started painting.  I went through imagery and decided that it wasn't inventive enough to paint what is there, that I had to discover a new imagery.  I figured I needed to make something that couldn't be photographed.  I stopped painting what was known and started to let the brush and color lead me to imagery.  I didn't realize it, but it is something of a meditative Zen practice.  

 

As I painted I was visited by ideas.  I was contemplating my life and the world, and allowing my hand and the brush and paint to define the canvas.  I would get ideas and I would think about them.  I believed I was having a conversation with higher powers; that they were asking me questions and I would give my opinion and send them out into the atmosphere.  It was a sort of magic.

 

I also started doing yoga type stretching and posing.  I began weight training and refining my body.  I also meditated.  I would lay down and contemplate, and raise questions to myself and think about them, eventually allowing my mind to think them through on their own.  When I would rise, the problem was resolved.  I wasn't a very complicated person, I felt pure and simple, and motivated to enjoy my life and treat people well.  I knew I couldn't change the world, so I changed my world.  It was a good life.

 

Then when I was 28, a friend got me thinking about good and evil.  He said "What's good for you isn't necessarily good for me".  I didn't understand that.  I was thinking about it, reaching up with my mind to contemplate what was good for him, what didn't I understand about what was good?  That is when a presence entered my body, took hold of it, and grabbed a pen that was in front of me at the time and drew out a symbol.  This presence left, and my friend and I were dumb struck.  I decided that it was a message, so I went out and researched symbols.

 

I went to the bookstore and was overwhelmed.  I saw a tarot reader and she told me to start with the pyramids.  Another clerk at a bookstore said the symbol looked like something from alchemy.  I found a book about symbols and it said that if you receive a symbol from the Heavens, that you should dissect it and examine its parts (like dismantling a glyph).  As I did this, I started considering the conversation I had had with my friend about good and evil, and I thought "Isn't love the greatest good, don't we all want love?"  I thought "Why do I think this way?" and I travelled back through my memories and what I knew about love.  I recalled that I thought God was love, and that God made the world.  That is when the image of the Arab girl that was on National Geographic came into my inner vision.  She stared at me with those eyes, and at the same time I thought that the world was love.  I somehow flew over the world astrally and looked at it, for the first time, I saw the world as it might be, and I saw a lack of love.  The world wasn't love!  It was something else.  And so, I raised my head and cried "You aren't the God of love!  Give me the power to bring love here!"  That is when a voice spoke, from everywhere; in my head and outside of it.  It spoke four words in a language I did not know.  The voice was like the combination of a masculine and feminine person, like two voices speaking in unison.  As it spoke there was a trail of voices, all repeating the same words.  I thought I had damned myself.  I said "Who's there?", but nothing responded.  I went to lay down, thinking I was about to die.  I fell asleep, and when I awoke and found that nothing bad had happened, I decided to go out on a quest and discover what there was about God.  I thought I had been blessed with the power to bring love to the world.  

 

I thought I had been chosen for an Order of people that could change the world.  I began researching things and could not find this symbol duplicated anywhere.  A few months went by, I began documenting my findings, and my experiences.  I found a website with a star that was animated and I stared at it, transfixed.  It sort of hypnotized me.  I went on documenting, thinking I was part of an Order.  I laid down to meditate, thinking "I am part of an Order, the world is order..."  Then I thought "No!  The world is Chaos!" and that is when I saw a blue jewel in my inner mind, and the star superimposed itself onto it, cracking it open.  I saw myself running across a field, and an Angel over me, lifting me up.  I heard "Chesed, Chesed" and saw a vision of a being on a throne that said "I am the Sephiroth, I am all that is".  I said "No you're not!" and opened my eyes. That is when something pierced my right ear.  It felt like it was grinding my essence into pieces.  It was loud and terrible, and I felt my head explode.  

 

It didn't take long and wires were implanted into my brain and body.  It came from my groin and went up to my head.  I was assaulted by a lot of visions and voices over the years, most of which I cannot make sense of.  Some of it made sense, but overall, it proved to be a meaningless experience.  I do not know if the voices and images were hallucinations or real.  I assume it is a mixture of both.  I have had to fight for my sanity.  I have had to fight to clear out my mind.  Now I just sit quietly.  I don't have much to say to anyone, and feel that a lot of conversation is useless.  I don't have the power to change the world, and I don't feel the love that I used to.

 

 

[Cheshire Cat]

15 hours ago, Nungali said:

Monotheism is actually a false concept and only exists in Islam .

 

I generally admire people who only hold to true concepts. 

Edited September 21, 2022 by Cheshire Cat

[Shadow_self]

16 hours ago, Nungali said:

Monotheism is actually a false concept and only exists in Islam . Christianity is not monotheistic, it is henotheistic .

 

Im glad someone actually said this...

 

Judiasm is the same...you can see it in the redactions and change of approach following the Babylonian exile

[Cobie]

.

Edited June 29, 2023 by Cobie

[Daniel]

12 hours ago, helpfuldemon said:

I have had to fight for my sanity.  I have had to fight to clear out my mind.  Now I just sit quietly.  I don't have much to say to anyone, and feel that a lot of conversation is useless.  I don't have the power to change the world, and I don't feel the love that I used to.

 

I'm sorry you have gone through this and are now in this state.  As I've said before, I think you can climb your way out of it, but it takes many steps.  Your heart and mind became inspired by some very lofty ideas, and then these ideas turned on you.  Rebuilding your energy would benefit from going back to basics, before ideas, before the heart and the mind.  Awaken your animal nature.  Eat, drink, excercise, sleep.  After you are in a good routine slowly reintroduce yourself to inspiring topics, like the occult.  But only after your body has become reaquainted with being alive.

[Nungali]

11 hours ago, Shadow_self said:

 

Im glad someone actually said this...

 

Judiasm is the same...you can see it in the redactions and change of approach following the Babylonian exile

 

The same applies to Zoroastrianism ... supposedly the world's first monotheism expression .  Nah .

 

Its a very distinct expression of Dualism !  Even the reformation of it into Zurvanism , in an attempt to reconcile the obvious 'non monotheism present ' all they did was to construct a valid  'triangular' divinity .  And even so , any monotheistic streak in  Zoroastrianism ( a reformation  of the earlier 'Aryan' religion  - very polytheistic) seems to have originated  in a version of  imported , east Siberian, Indo- European, 'Bo'  ie.  'White Tengri'  ,  'Eternal Blue Sky'   concepts ..... ie. Not henotheism , where many Gods are admitted but your one is supreme, all powerful, or the only one with power ( the others are 'false' ),  but a concentration on that one ...  non dual , non Trinitarian ... expression .

[Nungali]

10 hours ago, Cobie said:

 What makes you think so?

 

 

 

Urrmmm .. the facts ... its history .... the dictionary definition ... many passages in the Bible and Jewish scripture ... archaeology of the area  ... an historical and  political understanding of the reasons and causes  behind the invention of Judaism at a fairly late date in its supposed history ... admissions from Rabbi's .....   studying Comparative Religion and Divinity  at Sydney University ..... 

 

 

 

.

 

Edited September 22, 2022 by Nungali

[Aeordimm]

16 hours ago, helpfuldemon said:

I never used to believe in "the Gods".  I thought, if there was a God, then let that God do what He will do.  I thought, if there is a Heaven, then, if I do a good job on Earth, I will get it, and so I focused on being a good person. 

 

Looks like a resume and a cover letter all in one. Could you explain the gap between 22 and 28? Jk

 

When I was about 6-7 years old, I read a theological book, specifically the part about Greek mythology, and it sounded nice and good. I almost started believing in Zeus as the main God. Then I learned about a new God of Christianity with its bitterness and the suffering that comes with it. Liked the old testament better than the new one. It almost got me depressed.

[Shadow_self]

19 hours ago, Cobie said:

 What makes you think so?

 

 

 

The word Elohim is plural, always has been

[Shadow_self]

9 hours ago, Nungali said:

 

The same applies to Zoroastrianism ... supposedly the world's first monotheism expression .  Nah .

 

Its a very distinct expression of Dualism !  Even the reformation of it into Zurvanism , in an attempt to reconcile the obvious 'non monotheism present ' all they did was to construct a valid  'triangular' divinity .  And even so , any monotheistic streak in  Zoroastrianism ( a reformation  of the earlier 'Aryan' religion  - very polytheistic) seems to have originated  in a version of  imported , east Siberian, Indo- European, 'Bo'  ie.  'White Tengri'  ,  'Eternal Blue Sky'   concepts ..... ie. Not henotheism , where many Gods are admitted but your one is supreme, all powerful, or the only one with power ( the others are 'false' ),  but a concentration on that one ...  non dual , non Trinitarian ... expression .

My knowledge on the topic is somewhat limited

 

 A lot of the time, when I noticed any monotheistic streak emerging...it was usually a result of political shifts

 

Pharoah Akhenaten’s attempt to consolidate power, and the establishment of his "Atenism

The Jews thinking that their henotheism was the cause of their issues following the babylonian exile

The Christians and their establishment of "Canon" over time...nice charts here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biblical_canon#Christian_canons

 

A lot of the time, what I see is demotion of Deities to "lesser beings

[Cobie]

.

Edited June 29, 2023 by Cobie

[Nungali]

18 hours ago, Aeordimm said:

 

Looks like a resume and a cover letter all in one. Could you explain the gap between 22 and 28? Jk

 

When I was about 6-7 years old, I read a theological book, specifically the part about Greek mythology, and it sounded nice and good. I almost started believing in Zeus as the main God. Then I learned about a new God of Christianity with its bitterness and the suffering that comes with it. Liked the old testament better than the new one. It almost got me depressed.

 

 

Hymn to Proserpine (After the Proclamation in Rome of the Christian Faith)

By Algernon Charles Swinburne

 

Vicisti, Galilæe.

 

...

O Gods dethroned and deceased, cast forth, wiped out in a day!

From your wrath is the world released, redeemed from your chains, men say.

New Gods are crowned in the city; their flowers have broken your rods;

They are merciful, clothed with pity, the young compassionate Gods.

But for me their new device is barren, the days are bare;

Things long past over suffice, and men forgotten that were.

Time and the Gods are at strife; ye dwell in the midst thereof,

Draining a little life from the barren breasts of love.

I say to you, cease, take rest; yea, I say to you all, be at peace,

Till the bitter milk of her breast and the barren bosom shall cease.

Wilt thou yet take all, Galilean? but these thou shalt not take,

The laurel, the palms and the pæan, the breasts of the nymphs in the brake;

...

O lips that the live blood faints in, the leavings of racks and rods!

O ghastly glories of saints, dead limbs of gibbeted Gods!

Though all men abase them before you in spirit, and all knees bend,

I kneel not neither adore you, but standing, look to the end.

 

 

 

...

 

[Nungali]

1 hour ago, Cobie said:

 

What defines a religion?

 

The common understanding of people , usually recoded in a dictionary.

 

or nowadays , Wikipedia

 

a social-cultural system of designated behaviors and practices, morals, beliefs, worldviews, texts, sanctified places, prophecies, ethics, or organizations, that generally relates humanity to supernatural, transcendental, and spiritual elements;

 

 

1 hour ago, Cobie said:

Is it what the old scriptures say?

 

?  Is what    ....  what the old scriptures say  ?   

 

Is  what defines a religion what the old scriptures say ?    ...   I cant make much sense out of that, not sure what you are asking .

 

Are you asking how the 'old scriptures' defined religion  ?   Mostly they didnt , and it can be shown that religion is a somewhat modern concept .  Back then in the time of 'old scriptures'  (    whenever that is , but I will play along with you )    the idea of  religion  was  sort of 'non dual'  there was no distinction between religion and 'other life' ... and in most old cultures ( Judaism , Zoroastrianism, even ancient Australian Aboriginal 'religion' ..... any word that we now translate as 'religion' actually meant 'Law' .

 

 

 

1 hour ago, Cobie said:

 Is it what theologians say?

 

Oh sure .....  its very common knowledge  and well known 'out there'  . 

 

But we need to make a distinction between 'theologians'  that study the religion from the outside  ( and also study divinity and comparative religion to make those outside and objective comparisons  )  and those on the inside , members, or a religion that are trying to prove their belief system .    

 

 

 

 

 

1 hour ago, Cobie said:

 

 

I don’t think so. 

 

Okay .

 

Some of us know so  , though

 

 

1 hour ago, Cobie said:

 

 

I think it is what the current believers think it is, and they think it is monotheistic. 

 

 

 

Yes, that is the way religion works .   People get told what to think  by the current  'mob'  in charge .

 

'Current believers ' use it to morph it into anything that justifies their psychic projections .... in the case of monotheism ... the cause of the 'superior'  projection is rather obvious .

[Shadow_self]

2 hours ago, Cobie said:

 

What defines a religion? Is it what the old scriptures say? Is it what theologians say? I don’t think so. I think it is what the current believers think it is, and they think it is monotheistic. 

 

 

 

You mean the current believers who were told to think it was monotheistic? Like those before them, and those before them...etc etc etc

 

When you trace it back to its origin, it is factually correct to state that it is as @Nungali pointed out

 

You can find all the redactions, edits, changes, cover ups and so forth historically documented...That is one benefit we have that the generations before us didnt have, freedom of information rather than the compartmentalisation of it

 

Moreover look a bit closer...You'll soon find Christianity is a Solar religion, whilst Judaism and Islam are Lunar ones

 

 

 

[Nungali]

Yes, interesting ! 

 

Old Kingdom Egyptian  religion seems Stella based .... based on stars .  Middle Kingdom, Lunar and New Kingdom Solar .

 

Looking at concepts in Zoroastrianism  ( our first 'monotheistic' religion    ) the range of   'Amesha Spentas '   , which are attributes of God .... wait ,  angels of God .... wait ,   sorta Gods  ..... wait ,   planets ......  

 

 

 

" literally "Immortal (which is) holy/bounteous/furthering") are a class of seven divine entities emanating from Ahura Mazda, the highest divinity of the religion "

 

7  divine entities in the world's first Monotheism ? 

 

 

 

 

Now, this is getting complicated for monotheism  .... heeeelp !

 

   We need 'theology'   ( the art of explaining away illogical, irrational, and  'ooopsies ' in religious indoctrination  with more   illogical, irrational, and  'ooopsies '     )

 

We could try matching them to the planets .

Edited September 22, 2022 by Nungali

[Jadespear]

On 9/21/2022 at 6:01 AM, helpfuldemon said:

I never used to believe in "the Gods".  I thought, if there was a God, then let that God do what He will do.  I thought, if there is a Heaven, then, if I do a good job on Earth, I will get it, and so I focused on being a good person.  I had a lot of personal work to do!  I was a terrible child, a thief, and angry.  I didn't see the world as fair, I thought people were cruel, and so I became cruel.  I had no laws and I was a spiteful embarrassment to my family.  Then one of my best friends was killed in a car accident at the age of 18, right after High School graduation.  She was so beautiful and intelligent, and I was ashamed that I was still alive while she was taken from the world.  I confronted myself, and I realized I was a terrible person.  I swore that I would do what she could have, and so I went about changing myself for the better.  I gained control over my impulses, I stopped treating people poorly, and I stopped being cruel.  I became kind, and started obeying most laws.  

 

When I was 22 I heard of self actualization, and started contemplating that.  I went through a deep depression and didn't know how to perceive the world.  I thought "What is true?  What is real?"  I considered what I knew.  I believed in a God, and so I asked myself what I knew about this God.  The words "God is love" resonated with me, and I figured that if God is love, and the creator, then He made this world, and the world was love.  I was renewed.  I made a lot of friends and was very active creatively.  I enjoyed my life a great deal in those days, was always active, had many friends and lots to do and explore.  

 

I studied fine arts at an expressionist school and started painting.  I went through imagery and decided that it wasn't inventive enough to paint what is there, that I had to discover a new imagery.  I figured I needed to make something that couldn't be photographed.  I stopped painting what was known and started to let the brush and color lead me to imagery.  I didn't realize it, but it is something of a meditative Zen practice.  

 

As I painted I was visited by ideas.  I was contemplating my life and the world, and allowing my hand and the brush and paint to define the canvas.  I would get ideas and I would think about them.  I believed I was having a conversation with higher powers; that they were asking me questions and I would give my opinion and send them out into the atmosphere.  It was a sort of magic.

 

I also started doing yoga type stretching and posing.  I began weight training and refining my body.  I also meditated.  I would lay down and contemplate, and raise questions to myself and think about them, eventually allowing my mind to think them through on their own.  When I would rise, the problem was resolved.  I wasn't a very complicated person, I felt pure and simple, and motivated to enjoy my life and treat people well.  I knew I couldn't change the world, so I changed my world.  It was a good life.

 

Then when I was 28, a friend got me thinking about good and evil.  He said "What's good for you isn't necessarily good for me".  I didn't understand that.  I was thinking about it, reaching up with my mind to contemplate what was good for him, what didn't I understand about what was good?  That is when a presence entered my body, took hold of it, and grabbed a pen that was in front of me at the time and drew out a symbol.  This presence left, and my friend and I were dumb struck.  I decided that it was a message, so I went out and researched symbols.

 

I went to the bookstore and was overwhelmed.  I saw a tarot reader and she told me to start with the pyramids.  Another clerk at a bookstore said the symbol looked like something from alchemy.  I found a book about symbols and it said that if you receive a symbol from the Heavens, that you should dissect it and examine its parts (like dismantling a glyph).  As I did this, I started considering the conversation I had had with my friend about good and evil, and I thought "Isn't love the greatest good, don't we all want love?"  I thought "Why do I think this way?" and I travelled back through my memories and what I knew about love.  I recalled that I thought God was love, and that God made the world.  That is when the image of the Arab girl that was on National Geographic came into my inner vision.  She stared at me with those eyes, and at the same time I thought that the world was love.  I somehow flew over the world astrally and looked at it, for the first time, I saw the world as it might be, and I saw a lack of love.  The world wasn't love!  It was something else.  And so, I raised my head and cried "You aren't the God of love!  Give me the power to bring love here!"  That is when a voice spoke, from everywhere; in my head and outside of it.  It spoke four words in a language I did not know.  The voice was like the combination of a masculine and feminine person, like two voices speaking in unison.  As it spoke there was a trail of voices, all repeating the same words.  I thought I had damned myself.  I said "Who's there?", but nothing responded.  I went to lay down, thinking I was about to die.  I fell asleep, and when I awoke and found that nothing bad had happened, I decided to go out on a quest and discover what there was about God.  I thought I had been blessed with the power to bring love to the world.  

 

I thought I had been chosen for an Order of people that could change the world.  I began researching things and could not find this symbol duplicated anywhere.  A few months went by, I began documenting my findings, and my experiences.  I found a website with a star that was animated and I stared at it, transfixed.  It sort of hypnotized me.  I went on documenting, thinking I was part of an Order.  I laid down to meditate, thinking "I am part of an Order, the world is order..."  Then I thought "No!  The world is Chaos!" and that is when I saw a blue jewel in my inner mind, and the star superimposed itself onto it, cracking it open.  I saw myself running across a field, and an Angel over me, lifting me up.  I heard "Chesed, Chesed" and saw a vision of a being on a throne that said "I am the Sephiroth, I am all that is".  I said "No you're not!" and opened my eyes. That is when something pierced my right ear.  It felt like it was grinding my essence into pieces.  It was loud and terrible, and I felt my head explode.  

 

It didn't take long and wires were implanted into my brain and body.  It came from my groin and went up to my head.  I was assaulted by a lot of visions and voices over the years, most of which I cannot make sense of.  Some of it made sense, but overall, it proved to be a meaningless experience.  I do not know if the voices and images were hallucinations or real.  I assume it is a mixture of both.  I have had to fight for my sanity.  I have had to fight to clear out my mind.  Now I just sit quietly.  I don't have much to say to anyone, and feel that a lot of conversation is useless.  I don't have the power to change the world, and I don't feel the love that I used to.

 

 

 

It sounds like you have been targeted by spiritual entities.  I was once too...  the ones that targeted me were not nice for a time, and some eventually were.  The hindus know and acknowledge that it is normal to first encounter negative beings, because there are many of them and most people aren't developed enough in the positive direction to only see and be affected by only positive beings.  However, eventually as one grows in truth and light they attract more positive than negative.  

 

After much reflection in trying to figure out why spirits visited me, all I can deduce is that they were attracted to me because of my own fears, lack of conscience, and being uncertain about the basics of good and evil, etc.  I was in a search mode in that period in my life, just as it sounds like you were.  From what I have learned about the invisible world that surrounds us, the following are true and have proven themselves to be true multiple times over:

 

1.  Like attracts like.  Spiritual beings are around us all the time.  The types of beings (positive, negative, neutral, etc.) are drawn to the qualities that one exudes in thought mostly, and also in emotion.  Our minds are like radios that send out messages which they very easily hear, they can also speak thoughts into your mind if it is open enough and without any conviction that it is yours and is protected by you.  Hence, the negative ones are drawn to delude, coerce, and mess your life up.  The positive ones obviously do the opposite, they help, nurture, and provide encouragement towards the good.  When you are in the " I don't know what things really are" mode of being - you are an instant target for negative beings, because you are very easily manipulated, and they love to manipulate people. 

 

2. Magic, spirituality, metaphysics ( whatever you want to call all of that ) - is not a game.  It is a science that obeys certain laws just like cause and effect, etc.  If you play around with it without knowing what you're doing, your liable to make mistakes and cause things you'll probably regret, and also are open to influence from a dimension you don't fully understand - which puts you into a more or less victim position.  Yet another reason, why caution and discretion are basically the utmost important thing when learning about all of that.  There is just a lot to know, and it is hard to really grasp it all in a way that is safe if you randomly explore stuff like a fool in the woods.  The invisible world, magic, and spirituality are actually in my mind the highest things a person can hope to comprehend - and they are the most true and fundamental to existence itself.  I mean, what more is there when you know why everything is the way it is and can actually attest to the true validity of its objective truth?  Knowing is one part of the path, wisdom is the other.  

 

3. We have more influence in the outcomes of our lives the more that we know about all of the above.  Thats why the spiritual path is a timeless tradition and is what eventually everyone must go through at some point.  It's like an evolution of sorts that is part of the path of existence.  Everyone and everything wants to have total control over their lives so they can enjoy them to their fullest extent... no one actually likes sorrow and sadness, they can't be endured forever because the will of God that is in us and everything doesn't permit it to be so.  Existence wants to enjoy itself.  

 

4. There is always hope.  Hope is an eternal principle that cannot die.  

 

5. There is always consequence.  No one can escape this.