How my body decided to kill itself

[Shadow_self]

On 07/11/2022 at 9:32 PM, Kubba said:

Kundalini is identified as the force that animates bodily activity including its energies flows.

 

By who's definition?

[Master Logray]

@cloud444, @freeform's advice is to return to being a normal person first, stay away from all these stuff.   Then I wonder if you ever have a "normal" life or it is too long away that you cannot remember.  So it takes quite some time before you can figure out how to do it.

 

So I propose let your body "kill" itself as in your title, by a simple method.  You just sleep more, more and more.  There would be no music, no meditation, no attention to breathing, no sleeping cultivation.  Just simple sleeping.   If you can't fall into sleep, never mind.  Just carry on.  It is the most painless way to quiet down all running wide processes, replenish your Jing.    Many people suffered from big problems find relief by this method.  Good luck.

 

 

 

 

[cloud444]

On 2022-11-10 at 4:51 AM, Master Logray said:

@cloud444, @freeform's advice is to return to being a normal person first, stay away from all these stuff.   Then I wonder if you ever have a "normal" life or it is too long away that you cannot remember.  So it takes quite some time before you can figure out how to do it.

 

So I propose let your body "kill" itself as in your title, by a simple method.  You just sleep more, more and more.  There would be no music, no meditation, no attention to breathing, no sleeping cultivation.  Just simple sleeping.   If you can't fall into sleep, never mind.  Just carry on.  It is the most painless way to quiet down all running wide processes, replenish your Jing.    Many people suffered from big problems find relief by this method.  Good luck.

 

wish it was true, read this article

 

https://realization.org/p/a-d/when-kundalini-breaks-the-last-block.html

this  is what exaxtly happens to me, rest and sleep more and save my seed and then i get stuck in sleep paralysis and a strange ball goes flying up and down. this guys has EXACTLY to the T of what happens to me. i cant believe i found someone else who experieced what i do. it just wakes up durong sleep and i get stuck in paralysis

On 2022-11-10 at 4:51 AM, Master Logray said:

 

 

[cloud444]

On 2022-11-10 at 4:51 AM, Master Logray said:

@cloud444, @freeform's advice is to return to being a normal person first, stay away from all these stuff.   Then I wonder if you ever have a "normal" life or it is too long away that you cannot remember.  So it takes quite some time before you can figure out how to do it.

 

So I propose let your body "kill" itself as in your title, by a simple method.  You just sleep more, more and more.  There would be no music, no meditation, no attention to breathing, no sleeping cultivation.  Just simple sleeping.   If you can't fall into sleep, never mind.  Just carry on.  It is the most painless way to quiet down all running wide processes, replenish your Jing.    Many people suffered from big problems find relief by this method.  Good luck.

 

 

 

 

 

also i cant restore jing because my colon is damaged and that affects sexual health, my semen just leans constantly in my sleep, my body is useless and cant do anythi g right so i just get sicker and darker circles in my eyes

[anshino23]

The mind is a powerful thing. 

 

The story you keep telling yourself is keeping you from healing. 

 

"My colon is damaged."

 

"My body is useless."

 

"I just get sicker and sicker."

 

Ever heard of self-hypnosis? You're doing it - just the wrong way. 

 

Try to replace with: 

 

"My colon is getting better and better."

 

"My leakages are getting better and better."

 

"I am healing every day."

 

"I just get better and better every day."

 

You're being too focused on the problem instead of focusing on the solution. 

 

We don't know anything about you yet.

 

You keep talking about symptoms, but you haven't once told us: 

• How are you sleeping? When are you going to bed and when are you waking up? How many hours of proper sleep are you getting?
• How are you socialising? What do you spend your days on? Are you seeing family members and spending time with others or are you completely isolated? 
• How are you eating? Are you getting proper meals and sticking to a schedule of breakfast, lunch and dinner?
• Are you getting fresh air every day? Are you doing any physical exercise to get your mind away from your bodily sensations?

You keep saying, 

 

"I've already followed all the advice giving here on this thread but this ball keeps flying into my head."

 

So please, enlighten us. How have you followed this advice? Answer the above questions in clear format so we can understand more fully what's going on. If not, there is no way for us to truly help you I am afraid. 

[cloud444]

6 hours ago, anshino23 said:

The mind is a powerful thing. 

 

The story you keep telling yourself is keeping you from healing. 

 

"My colon is damaged."

 

"My body is useless."

 

"I just get sicker and sicker."

 

Ever heard of self-hypnosis? You're doing it - just the wrong way. 

 

Try to replace with: 

 

"My colon is getting better and better."

 

"My leakages are getting better and better."

 

"I am healing every day."

 

"I just get better and better every day."

 

You're being too focused on the problem instead of focusing on the solution. 

 

We don't know anything about you yet.

 

You keep talking about symptoms, but you haven't once told us: 

• How are you sleeping? When are you going to bed and when are you waking up? How many hours of proper sleep are you getting?
• How are you socialising? What do you spend your days on? Are you seeing family members and spending time with others or are you completely isolated? 
• How are you eating? Are you getting proper meals and sticking to a schedule of breakfast, lunch and dinner?
• Are you getting fresh air every day? Are you doing any physical exercise to get your mind away from your bodily sensations?

You keep saying, 

 

"I've already followed all the advice giving here on this thread but this ball keeps flying into my head."

 

So please, enlighten us. How have you followed this advice? Answer the above questions in clear format so we can understand more fully what's going on. If not, there is no way for us to truly help you I am afraid. 

ive literally been resting in bed for four years, eat healthy, sleep, NO spiritual practices but this stupid shit will NOT go away. thats the problem, and the ONLY problem which causes me stress then i get sicker. my eyes have deep circles, i have. no energy, all my joints ache. and my colon is so damaged it cannot hold my seed as they are the nerves that deal with sexual function. my semen leaks and i get even weaker. then if you read the article " when kundalini breaks the last block" you will see exactly what happens to me. this stupid fucking shit keeps coming up over and over. i cannot rest, because it will not leave me alone whenever i do try to heal

[Bindi]

On 20/9/2022 at 8:05 AM, cloud444 said:

Awhile ago i wrote how i had a unwanted kundalini awakening, i could not face it because i had prior health issues for over nine years including epilepsy. i fought the kubdalini tooth and nail. anytime i did semen retention after this awakening i would have dreams of snakes and a strange ball would start flying up and down a central channel trying to blow my head off.
 

 

I recognise this “strange ball” flying up and down, I had the same thing but for me it started at just below the navel, went up fast and hit a barrier at about the solar plexus then returned back down and then up again to just above the navel. The only information I could ever find out about it was through a book in the library by Choa Kok Sui, he called it a permanent seed, there are three of them one in the belly, one in the heart and one in the head. The lower one should stay in the lower dantian, so the solution might be something along the lines of somehow re-anchoring this ball in the lower dantian, but you might need the help of someone who knows what they’re doing. 

 

Quote

alot of people told me to surrender but i was in such a weakened state i couldnt. at this time i could only masturbate once a week, then once every two weeks and eventually only once a month. i had extremely low back pains and eventually a shock sent up my body and i developed neuropathy everywhere. burning numbness and tingling in all my limbs. this kept going for two years. i couldnt move during this time but i hated kundalini energy so much because i didnt want to be controlled my entire life by it , and i didnt like it damaged me because i just wanted a break and to be free. regardless none of this story matters. where im at now is, i want to restore my jing and heal my body, so even if you dont believe this story so far or whats happened. here is my latest development and looking for advice. eventually the neuropathy got so bad it went into my colon, a bad shock sent down throughout there. the pudendal nerve was damaged. the nerve responsible for sexual function. the pain there got worse and worse, three times over a couple months. in the ayurvedic system they call this extreme vata imbalance and even on a more sub scale ( apana vata) because of this damage i will never be able to have sex again, or sit comfortable. i have laid in bed in incredible pain screaming everyday. here is the kicker. i cannot restore jing anymore because of this. since this damaged occured i am having nightly nocturnal emissions i couldnt understand because usually the only time that would happen to me is from extreme overwork or a day where i was overheated. then i finally read about how if the perineal nerves in the colon and pudendal area are weakened or destroyed you can have constant nocturnal emissions. as i lay in bed, everyday i have the classic signs of jing deficiency at only age 30 because of over 10 years of extreme extreme stress. i have deep pale circles under my eyes, a pale white complextion and can barely move , all my joints ache and crack and i get dizzy standing up longer then 10 minutes. i guess this is what happens when you fight a kundalini awakening. but from my guess now is, regardless if anyone believes that i think this is my soul or higher self finally trying to kill me. my jing is so low my back screams in pain, my nerves burn me on fire to the point im in agony and my asshole hurts so badly from the nerve damage there i cannot sit, and hurts to use the washroom. now what little jing i have left is being excreted through nocturnal emission and i have no control or way to stop it from the weakened area. as i look at myself in the mirror i look like a shell of myself. a desperate soul ready to part with this world. im assuming when my soul decided to damage the nerves down there it is my soul preparing for me to die

 

Edited November 20, 2022 by Bindi

[Immortal4life]

That’s really rough man. I feel like you’re probably right that you’re gonna die. The thing is, without being able to have sex there is nothing to live for, and  your sexual drive it’s the fundamental source of your health, motivation, and drive in life.

 

some people might say oh well just focus on meditation and getting out of samsara, just give up all attachment to everything. The real natural state of your mind is pure effortlessness.

 

but I dunno if that’s attainable, cuz you still have to have vitality, some people talk about “skillful

means”, putting in effort etc

 

like I believe you can sort of transmute that sexual drive as well as your universal energy, into bliss and seeing your own mind.

 

Without the sexual drive to push that forward I’m skeptical you could even have the energy to abandon samsara.

 

it’s like sex drive is really the foundation of all and the purpose of existence, it’s what drives your life forward, without it you’re likely completely fucked, probably going to lower realms cuz how could you go up without strong sexual drive? You can’t, it’s everything in this world 

 

I bang at least 2 new girls a week, and it really helps me be happier, extremely blissful, motivated, love life. Add in powerful qigong, and deep meditations I have so much bliss and energy and sex I love life

 

i feel awful for you man, there’s no life without powerful sex drive 

Edited November 22, 2022 by Immortal4life

[cloud444]

14 hours ago, Immortal4life said:

That’s really rough man. I feel like you’re probably right that you’re gonna die. The thing is, without being able to have sex there is nothing to live for, and  your sexual drive it’s the fundamental source of your health, motivation, and drive in life.

 

some people might say oh well just focus on meditation and getting out of samsara, just give up all attachment to everything. The real natural state of your mind is pure effortlessness.

 

but I dunno if that’s attainable, cuz you still have to have vitality, some people talk about “skillful

means”, putting in effort etc

 

like I believe you can sort of transmute that sexual drive as well as your universal energy, into bliss and seeing your own mind.

 

Without the sexual drive to push that forward I’m skeptical you could even have the energy to abandon samsara.

 

it’s like sex drive is really the foundation of all and the purpose of existence, it’s what drives your life forward, without it you’re likely completely fucked, probably going to lower realms cuz how could you go up without strong sexual drive? You can’t, it’s everything in this world 

 

I bang at least 2 new girls a week, and it really helps me be happier, extremely blissful, motivated, love life. Add in powerful qigong, and deep meditations I have so much bliss and energy and sex I love life

 

i feel awful for you man, there’s no life without powerful sex drive 

yep im screwed im going to thrownthis body in the trash soon. my life was ruined by kundalini and my life force ran out. its not just sexual energy, my sexual organs are damaged. the pudendal nerve in the colon is what is needed for sexual function and mine is destroyed. i cant get an erection or have sex ever again. im useless . oh well this world sucks and we are all going to die anyway. waste of time having experiences here 

[Barnaby]

14 hours ago, Immortal4life said:

it’s like sex drive is really the foundation of all and the purpose of existence, it’s what drives your life forward, without it you’re likely completely fucked,

 

Not fucked, surely? 

[Immortal4life]

On 2022-11-06 at 1:53 AM, freeform said:

People call any movement of Qi ‘kundalini’.

 

Your spine and the channels around your spine are responsible for moving and even generating Yang Qi. And kundalini is said to go up the spine - so people draw parallels.

 

Yang Qi in this case interacts directly with your nervous system. Which is what causes sensations, spasms, even issues involving your adrenals - and the myriad other possible positive and negative effects.

 

Its not kundalini - it’s qi or prana.

 

Kundalini works at a deeper level than the nervous system.

 

But whatever you call it, it’s not too important… ‘kundalini’, ‘Yang Qi, ‘prana’… it doesn’t matter.

 

As long as you’re focused on it… fighting it… keeping it down… raising it up… controlling it in some way - you’re causing yourself more and more trouble.

 

Any qi divination has to start with moving the awareness away from that aspect of the self.

 

You don’t fight it, or try to ignore it… you simply put your awareness on something other than that.

 

It doesn’t matter if you still feel or experience it. Your awareness needs to be fully and honestly directed away from it… on something external… let it carry on happening in the background, that’s fine - but stop paying it any more attention than to the rest of what is available to your awareness. That’s why walks, time with friends, activities with dexterity or hand-eye coordination are good - because these are great things that will naturally pull on your attention and have you focusing and becoming absorbed by something else for a long enough time.

 

Particularly time with friends, other people will help with a change in mental habit. Moving the mind away from the same broken record of pain, fear, fear of pain, fear of fear, self victimisation… self isolation… self aggrandisation etc…

 

The mind needs to get back to relative normality - and that can only happen with the help of other people, relationships and healthy habits.

 

The second part is getting the body back into homeostasis.

 

With most of these ‘kundalini syndromes’ (aka qi deviations) the main problem is ‘heating an empty pot’.

 

Ever walked away from a boiling soup and came back only to find everything has been evaporated and all you’re left with is a horrible burnt, smoking mess?

 

Well that’s what’s happening in the body… the Yin of the body has been cooked away into nothing by the Yang… But the Yang now rages even harder as there is no Yin to balance it out… but it rages harder even though it doesn’t have access to fuel (which is also Yin.) So it starts to burn up whatever it can - including nerves, bones, marrow etc etc etc.

 

Yang rises (especially when there’s no Yin to anchor it down)… it goes to your heart and your head… it creates problems with emotions - basically fuelling any emotional movement… it starts to distort mental processes. The result is a mixture of mania and lots of delusions, non-stop, psychotic-like thinking etc.

 

Thats why both the mind and the body need some help.

 

To get the body back into homeostasis we need to take a long road of replenishing Yin… which means a constant diet of very simple nourishing foods… like what a pregnant lady 200 years ago might have eaten during winter.

 

The other part is getting the body processes back into a natural rhythm… waking at the same time EVERY day… going outside (rain or shine) at the same time every day… eating… going to bed… exercising - all at the same time every day.

 

This isn’t about living a rich life of spontaneous creativity… this is about repairing a severely out of whack system.

 

So my recommendation to Cloud (and others in a similar situation) isn’t just made up by me coz it sounds sensible.
 

It’s a literal prescription - every part of it has to be done - and one has to keep doing it non stop… often for many years!

 

To get some relief doesn’t take that long… but relief is not cure. It’s a long road - for serious cases like this, I would say you need to live this way for a minimum of 3 years - and then see.

 

Of course medical expertise is important too. 
 

If you have access to a good Chinese medicine practitioner - that’s even better.

 

If you have a therapist or body worker - and they fully understand the direction you’re trying to move in… then that’s also great. 
 

But in reality it’s the consistent and diligent application of lifestyle changes that will make the biggest difference in this sort of thing.

Lol yeah

 

For all the talk of wacky things like "kundalini syndrome"

 

"Kundalini side effects"

 

"The 49 levels of super duper kundalini awakening "

 

And other stupidity....

 

It seems like on all the descriptions you ever see out there of what the supposed symptoms or signs of kundalini awakening are, most of them are what are actually called "qi deviations" or what is called "qigong sickness" which is simply caused by improper practice or systems with bad methods or incorrect theory. 

Edited November 23, 2022 by Immortal4life

[Cobie]

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Edited November 24, 2022 by Cobie

[Immortal4life]

Here's a thread I posted about it a long time ago

 

[Cobie]

On 22/11/2022 at 7:45 PM, Immortal4life said:

… without being able to have sex there is nothing to live for …

Throughout history, there always are plenty of celibate religious people living very happy and fulfilled lives.  
 

 

Edited November 23, 2022 by Cobie

[Immortal4life]

Yeah but they had very specific practices and paths 

 

Probably mass amounts of meditation, love and bliss meditations, insane amounts of qigong or yoga, etc.

 

Otherwise that would be very unnatural and break a person's will and motivation, or turn them into a rapist or child molester or things like that. 

Edited November 23, 2022 by Immortal4life

[Cobie]

.

Edited November 24, 2022 by Cobie

[Immortal4life]

What do you mean?

 

The human body is extremely precious, and likely the highest form of concentrated energy in existence in this material universe.  

 

It's also impermanent and everybody has to accept they will give it up sooner or later 

 

The guy literally said his dick didn’t work. That’s game over. That’s not celibacy that’s a defect or indicative of death. It’s counter to life. The opposite of life.

 

You could say death is an illusion, but it still exists on this plane here and now

 

 

Edited November 24, 2022 by Immortal4life

[Immortal4life]

On 2022-11-10 at 1:51 AM, Master Logray said:

@cloud444, @freeform's advice is to return to being a normal person first, stay away from all these stuff.   Then I wonder if you ever have a "normal" life or it is too long away that you cannot remember.  So it takes quite some time before you can figure out how to do it.

 

So I propose let your body "kill" itself as in your title, by a simple method.  You just sleep more, more and more.  There would be no music, no meditation, no attention to breathing, no sleeping cultivation.  Just simple sleeping.   If you can't fall into sleep, never mind.  Just carry on.  It is the most painless way to quiet down all running wide processes, replenish your Jing.    Many people suffered from big problems find relief by this method.  Good luck.

 

 

https://realization.org/p/a-d/when-kundalini-breaks-the-last-block.html

 

That guy seems very confused.

 

He mentions he took powerful anti psychotic drugs which is pretty messed up in itself and probably gonna permanently screw up your energy and body anyways 

 

A lot of the things he seems to think are a mysterious “kundalini” force in his body are likely things caused by the drugs he took, or symptoms of mental illness.

 

He seems to think the symptoms started before he took the drugs, but he’s likely confused about the timeline.

[cloud444]

2 minutes ago, Immortal4life said:

That guy seems very confused.

 

He mentions he took powerful anti psychotic drugs which is pretty messed up in itself and probably gonna permanently screw up your energy and body anyways 

 

A lot of the things he seems to think are a mysterious “kundalini” force in his body are likely things caused by the drugs he took, or symptoms of mental illness.

 

He seems to think the symptoms started before he took the drugs, but he’s likely confused about the timeline.

buddy you are stupid. you don't read clearly. go pay your two prostitues a week and have your sex. seriously. i was on some medications when i was younger and weened off them. i only added that to elaborate how long i was suffering. by the time all this energy stuff happened i was mostly off the medication and well on my way to health. i took some anti seizure meds after a head injury. ALL of that was basically healed by the time this energy stuff happened. i am not " confused" about the timeline of my own life 

[Lairg]

If cloud444's body had decided to kill itself it would have succeeded by now.

 

I knew a woman who made her living by massaging people in hospital that were waiting to  die.  She did not charge any money but they were inclined to give her things and money that they did not need.

 

What was happening was that the nature (sacral) spirit operating the human body was afraid to let go.  When she massaged the body, that spirit relaxed and let the human spirit move out.

 

 

 

 

Edited November 24, 2022 by Lairg

[Immortal4life]

34 minutes ago, cloud444 said:

buddy you are stupid. you don't read clearly. go pay your two prostitues a week and have your sex. seriously. i was on some medications when i was younger and weened off them. i only added that to elaborate how long i was suffering. by the time all this energy stuff happened i was mostly off the medication and well on my way to health. i took some anti seizure meds after a head injury. ALL of that was basically healed by the time this energy stuff happened. i am not " confused" about the timeline of my own life 

Huh, you wrote that article?

 

you’re apparently also confused, cuz earlier you were elated that article was the only thing you’ve read that was similar to what you believed you experienced
 

But the guy that wrote that article is obviously just mentally ill and messed up from anti psychotic drugs

 

I don’t pay prostitutes I meet girls from tinder and cold approach 

Edited November 24, 2022 by Immortal4life

[Immortal4life]

1 hour ago, Cobie said:

Please reread your post.

Then see the effect on someone else.

Then please reconsider your motivation for posting. 

 

 

I dont really have a particular motivation, but here are some words of wisdom by Dave Chappelle which reflects how fundamental sex is to everything, from a real world practical material perspective there really is nothing more fundamental 

 

If men could fuck in a cardboard box, we wouldn't build houses 😂👍😉

 

In fact you dont need a house to fuck,  you can play on the fantasy of doing it outdoors, where you might get caught, a fantasy location, beach at night, park bushes, etc

 

This was an eye opening news report back in the day

 

Here is a classic 80s song of fundamental truth 

 

Edited November 24, 2022 by Immortal4life

[Cobie]

 

On 20/09/2022 at 2:05 AM, cloud444 said:

… what little jing i have left is being excreted through nocturnal emission and i have no control or way to stop it …

 

Nocturnal emissions do not deplete your “jing” and need not be stopped. Your body is still functioning fine in that aspect, so just let it be.  

 

Edited November 24, 2022 by Cobie

[Earl Grey]

1 hour ago, Cobie said:

Nocturnal emissions do not deplete your “jing” and need not be stopped. Your body is still functioning fine in that aspect, so just let it be. 

False. 

[Cobie]

.

Edited November 24, 2022 by Cobie