Anger

[Bhathen]

Lately I have been angry to an extreme extent. Meditation or breathing exercises are just not helping me. 

Been going through a lot of personal issues and health had been affected. Am not sure if the extreme nature of the anger is due to nerve issues which I developed in my right foot  or due to the vaccines I had a few months back or everything just coming together.

 

Any suggestions please? Any detox for the liver?

[Gerard]

Work specifically when Wood & Fire are activated (11am-2pm) and in the wee hours (from midnight to sunrise). 

 

Good luck! 

[Bhathen]

1 hour ago, Gerard said:

Work specifically when Wood & Fire are activated (11am-2pm) and in the wee hours (from midnight to sunrise). 

 

Good luck! 

 

What kind of work should be done during those hours?

Edited September 12, 2023 by Bhathen

[Gerard]

No difference or whatsoever with any other hours except the specific organs being dominant at that time.

 

I'd personally combine walking + seated meditation; let's say a 1/2 hour walk + 1/2 hour sitting format. 

 

 

[Daniel]

On 9/11/2023 at 8:55 AM, Bhathen said:

Lately I have been angry to an extreme extent. Meditation or breathing exercises are just not helping me. 

Been going through a lot of personal issues and health had been affected. Am not sure if the extreme nature of the anger is due to nerve issues which I developed in my right foot  or due to the vaccines I had a few months back or everything just coming together.

 

Any suggestions please? Any detox for the liver?

 

I'm sorry to hear you are struggling.  Anger is not an easy problem to solve.  Imo, anger is a consequence of lack of empowerment.  This is just another way of saying that there is something in your life which is not the way you would like it to be, and you don't have the power to change it.  The problem is, it's normal and natural to be out of control of certain aspects of life.  Even if it's unfair, it's just a fact of life that certain things are beyond control.

 

In addition, anger can build up over time in the form of resentment.  This is also a lack of power to make changes, but the frustration is deffered.  It could be that a person completely accepts that the situation is unfair, and they cope, but then if there is one thing after another anfter another after another, accomodation, after accomodation after accomodation, it just gets to be too much.  And all the deffered frustration piles up, and produces anger even though those previous circumstances were accepted in a healthy way.  The defferred frustration can still bubble up to the surface.

 

My advice would be, to try to find healthy ways to empower yourself.  Even if certain parts of life are frustrating and out of a person's control to change, activley look for opportunites to execute control over your life.  Take charge of a hobby or project that has been on the back burner for a while.  Maybe make a list of the things you do on a daily basis, if any of those things is irritating, brainstorm ways to make it more pleasant, then do-it.  Even if it seems like a small insignificant change, just taking charge of that one aspect can maybe lead to more and more empowerment, and less frustration.    

[Gerard]

Likewise, spring and summer being the best seasons to clear anger from the Liver & Heart organs and associated meridians since both organ networks are dominant in both seasons (Yang).

 

 

[Michael Sternbach]

Hi Bathan,

 

I feel you. I have been struggling with anger issues myself lately.

 

The first step is not to deny or suppress these feelings. They're a natural reaction, in particular, when we feel at the mercy of circumstances that we can't control.

 

It's important to identify the roots of your anger. Where does it originate? Once you have identified the cause of those feelings, see what can be done about it--even if that requires taking baby steps.

 

True, not all circumstances can be changed right off the bat. But the question is always how we deal with them. At the very least, they provide us with an opportunity to grow in our patience, compassion, and wisdom!

 

Additionally, I can recommend the following simple exercise to you:

 

Sit quietly, breathe calmly and deeply, and find that place of tranquility inside you. Then, when the going gets tough, take a moment to remember that sense of peace you experienced. Once you're back in that zone, it will be so much easier to do whatever needs to be done.

 

This sense... It is the awareness of your inner self -- your true indomitable Spirit that will forever prevail!

 

Best wishes for your journey,

Michael 

Edited September 18, 2023 by Michael Sternbach

[Bhathen]

13 hours ago, Daniel said:

In addition, anger can build up over time in the form of resentment.  This is also a lack of power to make changes, but the frustration is deffered.  It could be that a person completely accepts that the situation is unfair, and they cope, but then if there is one thing after another anfter another after another, accomodation, after accomodation after accomodation, it just gets to be too much.  And all the deffered frustration piles up, and produces anger even though those previous circumstances were accepted in a healthy way.  The defferred frustration can still bubble up to the surface.

 

 

Just trying to be more accepting of things in life.  You are right, everything has accumulated to a point where it has gotten too much. I never felt any anger even when I was in an abusive situation a few months back, but things kept adding on and it just bursted. After my initial post the mind has become more calmer and for some reason anger has receded greatly.

 

13 hours ago, Daniel said:

Maybe make a list of the things you do on a daily basis, if any of those things is irritating, brainstorm ways to make it more pleasant, then do-it.  Even if it seems like a small insignificant change, just taking charge of that one aspect can maybe lead to more and more empowerment, and less frustration. 

 

Thanks for this,...  have been thinking about it for a while now. I have made a small to do-list, since I had no idea what I wish to do with my life and trying to bring about that change little at a time. 

 

Actually the extreme nature of my emotions seems to have unblocked a lot of things inside, has made me peek out of my shell and given a thrust to unwind from the thought patterns instilled by society.

[Bhathen]

6 hours ago, Michael Sternbach said:

True, not all circumstances can be changed right off the bat. But the question is always how we deal with them. At the very least, they provide us with an opportunity to grow in our patience, compassion, and wisdom!

 

I think I'm just bad at dealing with circumstances, ..just remaining silent most of the time. Nevertheless it's been a period of learning to be more accepting but much more miles to go.

 

6 hours ago, Michael Sternbach said:

Additionally, I can recommend the following simple exercise to you:

 

Sit quietly, breathe calmly and deeply, and find that place of tranquility inside you. Then, when the going gets tough, take a moment to remember that sense of peace you experienced. Once you're back in that zone, it will be so much easier to do whatever needs to be done.

 

This sense... It is the awareness of your inner self -- your true indomitable Spirit that will forever prevail!

 

Thank you. It's been too much turbulent to go to that inner space called 'home', but slowly been able to find that sense of peace again.

[Daniel]

My mother in law likes to say:  "When in doubt, just breathe."  And she gave me a river rock from her garden and she painted the word "breathe" on it.  True story.  And it works.  If my heart starts to pound, a few deep breaths reduces it.

[ChiDragon]

19 minutes ago, Daniel said:

My mother in law likes to say:  "When in doubt, just breathe."  And she gave me a river rock from her garden and she painted the word "breathe" on it.  True story.  And it works.  If my heart starts to pound, a few deep breaths reduces it.

This what Chi Kung is all about.

[Daniel]

1 hour ago, ChiDragon said:

This what Chi Kung is all about.

 

 If I told her that, she would say, "Chi, who?"  

[Michael Sternbach]

On 18.9.2023 at 7:53 PM, Bhathen said:

 

I think I'm just bad at dealing with circumstances, ..just remaining silent most of the time.

 

Here's the real issue. Better focus on learning how to express and assert yourself, than on anger "detox".

 

On 18.9.2023 at 7:53 PM, Bhathen said:

Nevertheless it's been a period of learning to be more accepting but much more miles to go.

 

There's a time for acceptance, and there's a time for holding your own.

 

On 18.9.2023 at 7:53 PM, Bhathen said:

Thank you. It's been too much turbulent to go to that inner space called 'home', but slowly been able to find that sense of peace again.

 

That's good to hear.

[designAlignment]

Something that works well for me is to hit something in a controlled way.

 

I use an old martial arts bean bag, but any firm (but not so hard that it would hurt your hand) surface/object should work. Sitting on the floor and hitting a folded towel on it, would be something anyone could do. I sit with the bag in front of me and let each hand in turn fall from about head height to the bag.

 

I take a kind of meditative approach as I do this. I:

• Relax my body
• Take deep, even breaths
• Don't resist (push against) my anger
• Try to avoid fanning the flames by getting worked up about what I'm angry about - I try to focus on the feeling of anger in my body, not the situation
• Don't go into a rage with it

I think some therapies might encourage you to get worked up and hit things in a rage. I'm just describing what I do and what has worked for me. Other ways might work as well or better.

 

Sometimes my anger intensifies as I do this. If it does, I just let myself fully experience it and continue.

 

There comes a point where the anger just vanishes and I can think about the situation that initially triggered the anger feeling completely calm - no trace of anger whatsoever.

 

This also helps in reducing stress and fear.

 

As for why this might work:

 

I first read about it in the book Maximum Achievement by Brian Tracy. In it, he mentions the work of Hans Selye who found that anger can be sent out of the body through your hands (hitting), feet (kicking), teeth (biting), or voice (screaming). There are many sports (basketball, soccer, golf, etc.) that are natural outlets for releasing anger.

[Bhathen]

Thank you @designAlignment, It's a solution, but not one that I would like to practice. Instead I am trying to transform the energy towards exercise, creative work or some useful activities. 

 

After months of struggle, I posted here ...but now I am just letting it be.

Edited October 2, 2023 by Bhathen

[thelerner]

Anger is a tough nut.  A fire that consumes us before we even recognize it.  

There are people and situations that are matchsticks.  Avoid them if you can but that's not always possible.  Don't rub against them more than you need.  

 

What's helped me a bit, starting with low anger situations, asking myself, 'How long will I be angry?  How long will I allow myself to be angry?'  This kinda puts anger in a box.  It gives some perspective,  separating the emotion from yourself.  Doesn't always work for the big things but practicing on the smaller ones makes easier to defuse anger.  

 

The anger isn't you, though it can feel that way.  It's an emotion/thought you're tangled up in, one that will go away eventually.  Looking it in the face, giving it a timeline can help.  

[Bhathen]

On 10/3/2023 at 10:56 AM, thelerner said:

Anger is a tough nut.  A fire that consumes us before we even recognize it.  

There are people and situations that are matchsticks.  Avoid them if you can but that's not always possible.  Don't rub against them more than you need.  

 

What's helped me a bit, starting with low anger situations, asking myself, 'How long will I be angry?  How long will I allow myself to be angry?'  This kinda puts anger in a box.  It gives some perspective,  separating the emotion from yourself.  Doesn't always work for the big things but practicing on the smaller ones makes easier to defuse anger.  

 

The anger isn't you, though it can feel that way.  It's an emotion/thought you're tangled up in, one that will go away eventually.  Looking it in the face, giving it a timeline can help.  

 

A few years back I was reading a book by Master Thich Nhat Hanh. He spoke of the practice of observing the breath anytime strong emotions arose akin to boiling a potato. Observe the breath till the potato is cooked well.

 

This practice was a constant mantra and what took days to diffuse became minutes, minutes became seconds. A gradual and steady shift in reactivity and perspective occurred but something has altered this.

 

You are right, anger is just an emotion, just a thought and I have given enough fuel to it. Time to change.

 

After the replies from Daniel and Michael it hit me that I was not willing to let go of my anger. And that has led me to make changes.

 

What is working for me now is a reminder of the empty boat by Zhuangzi. My anger seems to be directed at the Great wall of China. The reminder of the folly makes me smile inwardly and outside. A simple practice but nevertheless working well.  Just being fully aware of the activity at hand and not letting my thoughts wander is something am practicing more often.

Edited October 5, 2023 by Bhathen