when should long time

[old3bob]

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Edited October 20, 2023 by old3bob

[liminal_luke]

2 minutes ago, old3bob said:

 

could it be that you are not as broad minded as you make yourself out to be?

 

 

I think I'm going to go back to lurking.

[-ꦥꦏ꧀ ꦱꦠꦿꦶꦪꦺꦴ-]

Sometimes it’s better not to say anything at all if you have nothing to good to say.

 

Comments like this have absolutely no value and are a waste of everyone’s time.

[blue eyed snake]

1 hour ago, old3bob said:

 

could it be that you are not as broad minded as you make yourself out to be?

 

Anyone ever wonder why women hardly ever post in most forums, where they would be super welcome and appreciated by most guys if they did, but still don't.  I have some guesses but won't go into that for now, besides some of those ladies would kick ass if they found out about someone lurking on them.

 

I do not see any reason to keep out lurkers, whether before they become talking members or after, or when they never become a talking member. There is no difference. I would not chuck out silent types out of the pub either.

 

 

 

[wstein]

Other than supporting a slightly higher amount of internet traffic (which can not cost much), what harm do 'lurkers' cause that one might want to eject them?

 

Having been here a long time, despite reading every day, I seldom post any more. The main reason is that most of the topics don't interest me. A minor issue it that there is a hostile minority that makes it impossible to discuss certain topics, example: enlightenment.

[Unota]

Umm, as a habitual lurker, the conversations on this forum are simply too quick for me to keep up with. I am not on the computer a lot. To post and be involved requires to have the full context of entire threads and the current subject, and I just don't think I can offer the respected amount of investment. I also have nothing much to say. But, I do like to occasionally briefly interact, because I like all of you. Is this odd?

[old3bob]

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Edited October 20, 2023 by old3bob

[liminal_luke]

28 minutes ago, Unota said:

I also have nothing much to say. But, I do like to occasionally briefly interact, because I like all of you. Is this odd?

 

Not odd at all, imo.  If you're reading posts, you're part of the community.  Glad you're here.

[Taomeow]

For many years I've been friends with a lurker who contacted me privately at some point and has been keeping in touch ever since.  A Sinologist, by the way.  I don't know if he does much (if any) lurking anymore or not, we found other things to talk about, not TDB related.  So, you never know.        

[Gerard]

The 'worst' are the ones that disappear after posting here for years. If you are really accomplished you never give up on guiding others and caring about them unless of course their motivations are purely to satisfy their egos; so I personally ignore them.

 

Even after 60+ years of practice a famous Theravada monastic in northern Thailand never failed to say hello, ask about their backgrounds, countries of origin and show genuine care for the spiritual path they chose to follow. I was told that the Ajahn did this short ceremony of welcome at each Vipassana retreat in his temple. I was part of a group of Westerners who attended in Dec. 2008. 

 

He could easily delegate that job to a senior monk but as someone with a good heart and in his late 80s he preferred to to that himself.

[Gerard]

4 hours ago, wstein said:

A minor issue it that there is a hostile minority that makes it impossible to discuss certain topics, example: enlightenment.

 

To avoid like the plague. Not even monastics dare to touch this highly personal and complex subject, what would you expect from a lay practitioner who spends more time in front of his keyboard than practicing for real. 

[Cobie]

8 hours ago, Unota said:

Umm, as a habitual lurker, …

 … 

 

 Where’s Daniel when he’s clearly needed here! 
 

11 hours ago, Daniel said:

… I would very much appreciate consistency of language in our discussion … This is not …That's different.  …

You joined last month and already made 23 posts. This is not  “lurking”, that’s being a very active member.
Nice to have you on the forum. 
 

 

Edited September 20, 2023 by Cobie

[blue eyed snake]

7 hours ago, Gerard said:

The 'worst' are the ones that disappear after posting here for years. If you are really accomplished you never give up on guiding others and caring about them unless of course their motivations are purely to satisfy their egos; so I personally ignore them.

 

 

"The worst"

Now that's quite a judgement. 

 

This is a forum, not a teaching environment.

[whocoulditbe?]

Lurking is fine, though I didn't do it for more than a week before joining here. There are plenty of sites where people get told to "lurk moar" if they post something out of line with the culture.

[liminal_luke]

I'm a little hazy on the timeline but believe I lurked for years before posting.  Now I'm up to 6,177.

[doc benway]

23 hours ago, old3bob said:

when should long time lurkers speak up? 

 

FWIW, my opinion is that long time lurkers should speak up when and if they please.

 

My primary motivation and guiding intention in modding here is to help make this a place where people can feel welcome and supported to discuss sensitive topics related to their spiritual path without fearing ridicule  and harassment. As wstein pointed out there is always a small number of people here whose posting style, intentionally or not, shuts others down. Perhaps I’m guilty of it sometimes… This is probably unavoidable in an open, anonymous community. 

 

So AFAIC lurk for as long as you want my friends, those I know and those I never will. Enjoy your time here, if you can. Enjoy my words or despise them as you see fit. If my silly ideas help you in some way, that is a blessing for us both. If they hurt you in some way, my sincere apologies. All we can each do is our own unique and beautiful dance, accidentally stepping on the occasional toe or brushing the occasional nipple… 
 

 

 

 

 

[old3bob]

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Edited October 20, 2023 by old3bob

[liminal_luke]

41 minutes ago, old3bob said:

umm, sounds cool but you might consider changing the "brushing "n"" into bumping shoulders or something .  

(few go around with such exposed, right, unless its a dude on the beach?)

 

This is the natural evolution of internet conversation.  Start talking lurkers and soon you'll be discussing the ethics of (innocent?) nipple brushing at topless beaches.  Did it happen to you?  Me too.  Anywho, jump on in lurkers -- the water's warm.

[-ꦥꦏ꧀ ꦱꦠꦿꦶꦪꦺꦴ-]

12 hours ago, Gerard said:

The 'worst' are the ones that disappear after posting here for years. If you are really accomplished you never give up on guiding others and caring about them unless of course their motivations are purely to satisfy their egos; so I personally ignore them.

I don’t blame them for disappearing after they have to put up with so many stupid arguments when they are just trying to help others. 

[old3bob]

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Edited October 20, 2023 by old3bob

[liminal_luke]

I was just playing around, @old3bob.  My comment wasn't meant to be taken seriously, one way or the other.

[old3bob]

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Edited October 20, 2023 by old3bob

[doc benway]

46 minutes ago, old3bob said:

 

I'd say get off it,  Luke

My comment was to Steve if he wants to respond with something besides an icon that's up to him.

 

Hi Bob,

The icon was because I thought you were joking. Does the word nipple offend you? Or the idea that one might accidentally brush up against one? I’ve been on both sides of that experience. 

 

I chose that word for a reason.  Nipples, like people, can be very sensitive, shoulders not so much. Stepping on a toe causes pain but brushing a nipple can be titillating or offensive, depending on context and intent - just like our words here.

 

I think it’s an apt metaphor and will let it stand. My apologies if it makes you uncomfortable, that was actually part of my intention - not to offend you personally but to demonstrate how words can be powerful and contextual.

 

 

 

[doc benway]

18 hours ago, Unota said:

Umm, as a habitual lurker, the conversations on this forum are simply too quick for me to keep up with. I am not on the computer a lot. To post and be involved requires to have the full context of entire threads and the current subject, and I just don't think I can offer the respected amount of investment. I also have nothing much to say. But, I do like to occasionally briefly interact, because I like all of you. Is this odd?

 

Not odd at all.

 

FWIW I also don’t have time to follow threads fully so I often comment based on the OP alone or a handful of responses at most. While it may be unskillful, superficial, even disrespectful, that’s me…

[Cobie]

 

Quote

… While it may be unskillful, superficial, even disrespectful …

I don’t think that’s “unskillful, superficial, even disrespectful”.  I skip loads, some posts are too long for me to read. 

 

Edited September 20, 2023 by Cobie