Looking for somewhat personalized literature recommendations

[zoe]

Hi! I'm quite new to the forum, I'm looking for literature recommendations. (here's my newcomer post, although I mentioned that I'm looking for literature there I'm posting here since I imagine the newcomer section isn't looked at terribly often.)

 

I have prior experience with the very early parts of The Secret of The Golden Flower but never got too far with it and I don't feel like the book will at least for now prove very helpful to me. I should note that by experience I really just mean that the basic methods of meditation it put forward garnered a lot more success than I'd experienced before having interacted with many 4Chan /x/ adjacent belief systems (Thelema, Chaos Magik, Wicca, etc.) At the start of my transition a few years ago that proved to be the final thing I could fit on my plate and I found myself unable to continue with any kind of spiritual practice until recently, so I'm now looking for a way to do inner alchemy without the exact instruction of Golden Flower.

If context helps on the kinds of personal challenges I've been facing that make me want to learn inner alchemy, here's the main points:
- I have quite severe ADHD and it frequently gets in my way when attempting my artistic pursuits (ink/pencil visual art, largely character and environmental art, and a myriad of different kinds of software development), the matters of executive dysfunction and ADHD medication have been some pretty extreme pain points for me. The tendency of lacking focus also makes almost any form of meditation very difficult.
- I was pretty thoroughly emotionally traumatized by my childhood and my experience transitioning from male to female in Texas for the last few years (I have left since) all of which I've coped with via base hatred due to a history of consuming really harmful and militant ideology, which has given my mind a tendency to look for things to exhibit malice over at every opportunity, commonly this ends up aiming it at myself.
- I'm transgender, I guess this isn't something that on its face seems like it'd conflict with the Tao but with the ideal of Taoism (to the faulty extent I understand it) being the belief I've most closely been able to ever follow I do worry at times that my medical transition is something fundamentally misaligned with the Tao, admittedly it's a pretty artificial state of being. It's something that's greatly helped me but due to my circumstances it's led to a painful rift between me and my family that I never expect to heal.

[liminal_luke]

Hi zoe...you might find it interesting to chat with @Maddie about spirituality and transgender issues.  Personally I don't think there's any conflict between being transgender and taoism although I'm sure there's a range of opinions.  I'm gay myself and have (almost) always found this board a welcoming place.

 

Hope you enjoy your time here,

LL

[Maddie]

Hey Zoe nice to meet you. I'm trans and also from Texas as well lol. The Tao means the way and we all have to find our own way and align ourselves with it and for some of us that can absolutely mean transitioning medically. 😊🩷

 

*Interestingly enough the Tao Te Qing says a lot about connecting to the feminine and becoming female as part of the path.

Edited December 11, 2023 by Maddie

[zoe]

2 hours ago, Maddie said:

Hey Zoe nice to meet you. I'm trans and also from Texas as well lol. The Tao means the way and we all have to find our own way and align ourselves with it and for some of us that can absolutely mean transitioning medically. 😊🩷

 

*Interestingly enough the Tao Te Qing says a lot about connecting to the feminine and becoming female as part of the path.

sick ty! I will add that to the pile lol. I did notice your profile earlier, I actually found the forum when trying to find stuff on the matter, I found the thread that was started here on the general matter of trans people and Taoism but admittedly the entire context of that thread gave kinda bad faith vibes, regardless though very comforting to hear some degree of consensus that there's no conflict, thank you so much!

EDIT: Oh. I forgot that Qing == Ching. I was kinda  confused with the name similarity.

Edited December 11, 2023 by zoe

[Maddie]

5 hours ago, zoe said:

sick ty! I will add that to the pile lol. I did notice your profile earlier, I actually found the forum when trying to find stuff on the matter, I found the thread that was started here on the general matter of trans people and Taoism but admittedly the entire context of that thread gave kinda bad faith vibes, regardless though very comforting to hear some degree of consensus that there's no conflict, thank you so much!

EDIT: Oh. I forgot that Qing == Ching. I was kinda  confused with the name similarity.

 

This forum is a slice of society like anywhere else so you get all types, but the forum admins definitely have our back and the majority are cool. 😉

 

*Transliteration of Chinese into English is tricky since there is more than one way to do it. You have chi and you also have qi for example.

Edited December 11, 2023 by Maddie

[SirPalomides]

I'm gonna get pedantic about arbitrary and strange romanization rules- 

 

Ching = Jing; Ch'ing = Qing. 

 

Tao Te Ching = Dao De Jing; Ch'ing Ching Ching = Qingjing Jing

[Maddie]

23 minutes ago, SirPalomides said:

I'm gonna get pedantic about arbitrary and strange romanization rules- 

 

Ching = Jing; Ch'ing = Qing. 

 

Tao Te Ching = Dao De Jing; Ch'ing Ching Ching = Qingjing Jing

 

Dao de *cough cough -ing

[Nintendao]

6 minutes ago, Maddie said:

Dao de *cough cough -ing

 

I like the Cantonese version, "Dough Ducking" 🔊

 

[SirPalomides]

11 minutes ago, Maddie said:

 

Dao de *cough cough -ing

 

[Maddie]

23 minutes ago, SirPalomides said:

 

 

Hahaha yes yes! That is exactly the scene I was thinking of! You're awesome! 😂

[thelerner]

When meditating is hard due to a runaway mind, I like to use Guided Meditations or Yoga Nidras.  Good ones will relax the body, put you into a light trance so when they end you're clear enough to meditate.  Breathing rhythms will do that too.  

 

If you're interesting there are tons of meditations on youtube.  If the idea is meditating after listening, go for a short ones with a pleasant voice and induction that draws you in, ie try a few.  

 

addon> For nice voices I like Kim Walsh and Lilian Eden.  Also like Michael Sealy, Jason Stephenson.  Entrance and Unlock Your Life are interesting.  If you like a reader, they'll usually line to others who are somewhat similar.  

 

My favorite youtube for breathing rhythms is https://www.youtube.com/c/BreathingMantra  

 

I find the Dao to be an ocean filled with all things.  Our path is to learn to move in harmony with it.  

Edited December 12, 2023 by thelerner

[Cobie]

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Edited December 11, 2023 by Cobie

[Cobie]

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Edited December 23, 2023 by Cobie

[Maddie]

I'm about to just start saying Dao De Yo Mama 🤭

Edited December 11, 2023 by Maddie

[Cobie]

.

Edited December 23, 2023 by Cobie

[Maddie]

22 minutes ago, Cobie said:

 Exactly.  道 … 天下母 - Dao, the mother of all (Ch. 25).

 

 

 

You win the internet today. 

[Sanity Check]

7 hours ago, SirPalomides said:

 

 

 

 

How is klaatu barada nikto also in "The Day The Earth Stood Still" from the 1950s?

 

[zoe]

6 hours ago, thelerner said:

When meditating is hard due to a runaway mind, I like to use Guided Meditations or Yoga Nidras.  Good ones will relax the body, put you into a light trance so when they end you're clear enough to meditate.  Breathing rhythms will do that too.  

 

If you're interesting there are tons of meditations on youtube.  If the idea is meditating after listening, go for a short ones with a pleasant voice and induction that draws you in, ie try a few.  

 

My favorite youtube for breathing rhythms is https://www.youtube.com/c/BreathingMantra  

 

I find the Dao to be an ocean filled with all things.  Our path is to learn to move in harmony with it.  

ah okay. I don't generally get a very good impression from "guided meditation" content on YouTube but I'll take the recommendation.

*on the lingual stuff I'm single-language asf unless we're counting things that can compile to x86

[Maddie]

14 hours ago, zoe said:

ah okay. I don't generally get a very good impression from "guided meditation" content on YouTube but I'll take the recommendation.

*on the lingual stuff I'm single-language asf unless we're counting things that can compile to x86

 

Everyone is going to recommend a practice to you, probably based on what they do, BUT you need to find what works for you boo boo 😉🩷.

[Nintendao]

15 hours ago, zoe said:

*on the lingual stuff I'm single-language asf unless we're counting things that can compile to x86

 

https://www.talisman.org/tao/

Quote

The Tao gave birth to machine language. Machine language gave birth to the assembler.

 

The assembler gave birth to the compiler. Now there are ten thousand languages.

 

Each language has its purpose, however humble. Each language expresses the Yin and Yang of software. Each language has its place within the Tao.

 

But do not program in COBOL if you can avoid it.

 

[zoe]

16 hours ago, Nintendao said:

 

https://www.talisman.org/tao/

 

ah. Hell yeah lmao

[zoe]

17 hours ago, Maddie said:

 

Everyone is going to recommend a practice to you, probably based on what they do, BUT you need to find what works for you boo boo 😉🩷.

I'm aware, I'm seeking literary recommendations because it's better than my old habit of aimlessly whining about my problems on the internet hoping for random things other people do that might help me, although I've gotten better with seeking out things that actually help me in matters at least adjacent to cultivation I frequently find that those things- whether they're really mundane manipulations of my conscience for productivity purposes or something like a shift in paradigm- feel very impotent and like they exist in an otherwise empty part of my mind that I can only observe and that nothing can really leave or influence the outside from. In fact- it often feels like the only mechanism by which these things work is my short-lived belief that they ought to.

[Maddie]

5 hours ago, zoe said:

I'm aware, I'm seeking literary recommendations because it's better than my old habit of aimlessly whining about my problems on the internet hoping for random things other people do that might help me, although I've gotten better with seeking out things that actually help me in matters at least adjacent to cultivation I frequently find that those things- whether they're really mundane manipulations of my conscience for productivity purposes or something like a shift in paradigm- feel very impotent and like they exist in an otherwise empty part of my mind that I can only observe and that nothing can really leave or influence the outside from. In fact- it often feels like the only mechanism by which these things work is my short-lived belief that they ought to.

 

What problem is it that you want to address then?

[zoe]

4 hours ago, Maddie said:

 

What problem is it that you want to address then?

materially speaking I just want to be able to do the things I enjoy (art, programming, etc) without instantly becoming frustrated and burning myself, preventing me from doing those things on a regular basis. It's very rare that I actually manage to engage with those things in a way that I enjoy them, I'm quite sure that they're actually things I enjoy though as I have far too many hobbies and they all suffer from this issue in a way that feels very similar. 

There's also the whole trauma thing. It regularly inflicts me with periods of depression and anxiety and I'd like to be rid of that.

Those are probably the two most prominent problems that I'm addressing.

[Maddie]

44 minutes ago, zoe said:

materially speaking I just want to be able to do the things I enjoy (art, programming, etc) without instantly becoming frustrated and burning myself, preventing me from doing those things on a regular basis. It's very rare that I actually manage to engage with those things in a way that I enjoy them, I'm quite sure that they're actually things I enjoy though as I have far too many hobbies and they all suffer from this issue in a way that feels very similar. 

There's also the whole trauma thing. It regularly inflicts me with periods of depression and anxiety and I'd like to be rid of that.

Those are probably the two most prominent problems that I'm addressing.

 

I'm a licensed acupuncturist and I regularly treat ptsd, anxiety, depression, ADHD. I would suggest looking into that as an option.