Transgender Q&A

[Maddie]

11 minutes ago, doc benway said:

 

I would suggest that it is bad for all humanity. The degree of ignorance and cruelty that allows human beings to support such behavior, even codify it into policy, is painful for me to come to terms with. The mindset that allows such actions requires dehumanization, suppression of empathy, and selective ignorance. Once these are in place anything is possible, none of it good.

 

Seems to be a lot of that going around lately. 

[Maddie]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DGg-KLBpBqx/?igsh=MW5qMnlndmw5YXU3ag==

 

 

Watch this if you think you're not affected just because you're not trans. ☝️

[doc benway]

6 hours ago, Maddie said:

 

Seems to be a lot of that going around lately. 

 

I always assumed that fascism, authoritarianism, and related atrocities were forced on a populace.

It's now painfully clear that it is a choice and for me that is so much more disturbing. 

[Maddie]

5 hours ago, doc benway said:

 

I always assumed that fascism, authoritarianism, and related atrocities were forced on a populace.

It's now painfully clear that it is a choice and for me that is so much more disturbing. 

 

Remember, Hitler was elected

[Maddie]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DF5TmsGP6tS/?igsh=MWFjb2ZlOW8wYmNvdQ==

[Maddie]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DGYQfSfJAhz/?igsh=MTJiNTRlbHl2N3N2eg==

[Maddie]

 

Starts soon

[Maddie]

https://www.iowapublicradio.org/state-government-news/2025-02-27/iowa-legislature-passes-bill-removing-gender-identity-from-state-civil-rights-code

Iowa just passed a bill to strip trans people of their civil rights.

[Maddie]

This will be my last post on the Dao Bums. I joined this forum in 2009 not long after my newly found interest in Qigong and Daoism. A few years later I became interested in Buddhism as well and I still found this form to be a good fit for that. I didn't realize it at the time but one of the things that drove me to try various spiritual practices was constant depression and anxiety that I was struggling with for at the time what seemed to no apparent reason. 

   Ironically almost as soon as I began some type of meditation and spiritual practice thoughts and feelings that I had suppressed long ago as a child due to being in an unsafe environment began to surface again, and also ironically I thought it meant that I was doing meditation wrong. Surely it wasn't working properly or I wasn't doing it properly if thoughts and feelings would arise that were totally contrary to societal norms and everything I had been raised to believe as a child right? Instead of making the connection and understanding what the practice was trying to show me I doubled down to fight it to make it go away. 

    I even sought advice from this forum from time to time, for what was going wrong. Granted I was very vague about what the problem was. I think I would just say things like depression or anxiety or weird thoughts and I was encouraged to keep practicing and move through it and eventually things would get better. But they didn't get better they got worse because the practice was trying to show me who I really was and my reaction to the practice was fear and anger and suppression and therefore my anxiety and depression only worsened. 

 

   Fast forward a few more years and my anxiety and depression from trying to make what I considered crazy thoughts go away had become practically clinical. I finally reached a point where the suffering and desperation reached such a critical level that I finally in desperation to consider all options thought that perhaps these crazy thoughts and feelings that were coming to the surface from the practice, was precisely what the practice was trying to show me about myself. I finally acknowledged that I wasn't the gender that I had thought I was my entire life and almost immediately the anxiety and depression that I had been battling for most of my life vanished. 

    It's difficult to imagine that the conflicting thoughts and feelings of relief and shock. Relief because this mysterious anxiety and depression that I thought had no obvious and apparent reason were finally gone, practically instantly. Shock because something that I was taught was wrong and weird and bad my entire life was suddenly who I was. 

 

   So obviously my next thoughts were where could I find safe spaces to learn more about myself and to grow as my true self. One can only imagine the relief I felt when I remembered that Sean had explicitly written for what all intents and purposes could be called the constitution of the Dao Bums that neither right wing rhetoric nor transphobia would be allowed on this forum. Both things that were hostile to my very existence at this point. 

   Unfortunately however Sean has been absent from this forearm for several years and in his absence a shift developed here towards the right. I suppose this shouldn't be surprising since this is the shift that the United States and large parts of the world in general are experiencing presently. In this shift to the right I noticed more right-wing rhetoric and more tolerance for transphobic posters and sentiment. I found it odd that this type of sentiment was being allowed to propagate in a space specifically opposed to such things. 

    It's very difficult to share a space of discussion as an individual in a threatened minority with a group of people who support the very ideology and individuals who seek to strip away your civil rights. Last week the Republican Party in Iowa just voted to specifically remove civil rights from trans people. And yet there was no outcry here but more support for the political party and the thought process which caused something like this to come to pass. The trans Community is scared beyond belief right now. Some members moving or planning to leave the country. Some are arming themselves and forming militia groups. Yes you heard that right. 

   The final straw however was one individual spewing extremely hostile and transphobic rhetoric against trans people and the trans community was allowed to continue doing so without reprimand on this forum even after I reported several of his posts multiple times, and when I tried to force the moderators hands to take action the only action they took was the cowards way out by shutting down the thread as opposed to enforcing the clear-cut rules laid down by the founder of this forum. Seeing as how we live in an unprecedented time in United States history, where not only are the civil rights of trans people being taken away and the civil rights of many other groups being violated, but the very institution of the United States which has existed for almost 250 years is being threatened with overthrow by a fascist dictatorship. That being the case this forum is no longer a safe space for me and for Trans people and for lots of other groups of people. The moderators refuse to follow the directives of the founder and since I do not feel safe here any longer I will no longer participate in this forum. THIS FORUM IS NOT A SAFE SPACE FOR TRANS PEOPLE. It's not a coincidence that there is practically no activity from trans people on here. There are notable exceptions on this form however and I wish to them the best of luck. To the rest of you perhaps you're just going through as a group what I went through internally and mistaking the results of spiritual practice as a problem when in actuality it's the goal.

    

 

Edited Sunday at 11:23 AM by Maddie

[silent thunder]

2 hours ago, Maddie said:

Unfortunately however Sean has been absent from this forearm for several years and in his absence a shift developed here towards the right. I suppose this shouldn't be surprising since this is the shift that the United States and large parts of the world in general are experiencing presently. In this shift to the right I noticed more right-wing rhetoric and more tolerance for transphobic posters and sentiment. I found it odd that this type of sentiment was being allowed to propagate in a space specifically opposed to such things. 

 

What you describe in your experience here has been a recurring pattern for the entirety of my membership, as well as the previous years when I read but did not participate.  And your description of your experience here on the forum reflects the overarching pattern of what 'murica (and a handful of others in the west) are propogating actively in the populations at large (to the seeming delight, or nauseating neutrality) of a staggering portion of the population; and this disturbs me beyond words.  Systemic, state supported hate.  

 

I used to engage in regular media fasts where I consumed no social media, got rid of my computer, and engaged no news, online interactions or viewing and sense another one approaching myself.  As it is my participation has dwindled to occasional and markedly sidereal glancing participation.  My heart just can't take more, particularly when folks I thought I knew well, reveal startlingly dark tendencies and the temperature of the board is indifferent to hostility and open abuse.

 

I have found your sharings here refreshingly authentic; and many of your insights to be frank, adroit, beneficial and bolstering.  You will be sorely missed Maddie.  But wow do I understand why you're stepping away...  There's a time to engage and a time when continuing to engage within certain conditions is tantamount to participating in one's own abuse.  I applaud you and respect and admire you.  Be well mate.  You are appreciated and you are enough.

 

 

[liminal_luke]

Maddie --

 

I know we haven´t always seen eye to eye but silent thunder is right: you will be missed.

[old3bob]

Why some members have been conned into or have joined with destructive radical right sentiments or are being wishy-washy about same or are playing tit for tat games by attacking dems, who granted are far from perfect, is nuts to say the least  and to me are missing the far greater dangers people in the US and other parts of the world face, thus its hard to hear that or to try and have a reasonable conversations about !!

 

I live in one of the reddest state in the country but being an old white haired straight white guy I don't have to worry too much about being  physically attacked,  (although some well armed maga nut cases would like to see liberals eliminated or at least 100% suppressed per their dear leader) which makes its hard to imagine how much incredibly harder it  is for LBGTQ people that are being attacked openly or with stealth by what are supposed to be some of their  fellow citizens in a democratic republic of laws and rights under a just constitution!! 

 

I appreciated your pointed and solid contributions along with all the information you have shared at this site!!  I wish you the best and that you will feel safe and respected in your daily life interactions and living situation wherever you may be.  You will be missed dear one.  Take care,  Bob 

[stirling]

The admins are currently in some discussion about policy on this sort of stuff, and attempting to solicit some historical background on the Current Events forum, and intentions around it. Pausing the thread in question was a first step while we take this apart and wait for some comments from the Elders.

 

I think you bring a lot to the board, Maddie... it would be a shame to have you move on because of this blip in the board history. This IS a moment where change is happening. Things often have to get as bad as they can get before they change. 

[liminal_luke]

As a former mod, I know how much thought and debate goes into the decision making process.  It can seem to the members that reports aren´t being considered when the mod area is abuzz with conversation.  Maddie -- I don´t know if the final policy decisions will be in line with what you want, but I do know this: although it might not always be apparent, there´s a lot of support for you on the board.

[blue eyed snake]

dear @Maddie  , dear girl,

or rather, dear woman for you're no girl anymore but have blossomed out into a strong woman.

 

whether you go or stay here on the bums, know that I will always keep you in my heart.

I really hope you'll find a place where you can live in comfort without the constant heckling and fear you now have to endure,

 

much love from your nonbinary european friend 

[forestofclarity]

On 3/2/2025 at 4:04 AM, Maddie said:

 The final straw however was one individual spewing extremely hostile and transphobic rhetoric against trans people and the trans community was allowed to continue doing so without reprimand on this forum even after I reported several of his posts multiple times, and when I tried to force the moderators hands to take action the only action they took was the cowards way out by shutting down the thread as opposed to enforcing the clear-cut rules laid down by the founder of this forum.

 

I'm going to be honest, I haven't considered any reports because the site doesn't typically work for me. Often the site doesn't load, and if it loads I cannot check the reports, and if I can even click on the reports the site crashes. It really depends on the time of day. 

 

I did see that there were numerous issues piling up in Current Events and chose to lock it pending a review. Unfortunately, I have lacked the time, energy, and bandwidth to conduct an in depth review of posts due to other, higher priorities than website moderation. I have finally gotten to some of the reports this evening, and am discussing with the other mods especially since I have recused myself from moderating political threads. So please don't take this for other than what it is-- a slapdash, haphazard effort by some one with little time and energy to spare at the moment. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[silent thunder]

Holding space for you @Maddie, and all within my sphere and without who are processing the effects of the onslaught of open aggression and formerly repressed hatred.  Strange and dangerous times. 

 

With the hostility and hate formally supported by many in positions of influence; and tacitly accepted by the neutral or disconnected or sleeping,  the inherent sickness and wilfull ignorance of our society is on open display.  It's incredibly challenging to remain hopeful and not withdraw into full isolation... but this one thing I suspect is true, after my decades of life, complete withdrawal and isolation is how they disperse our support for one another and deepen their impressions of harm.

 

Perhaps, in the long run (my hope whispers to me) this onslaught is how we come to seek the societal response for treatment and healing.  For it's no longer possible to see we are not profoundly sick as a society.

 

 

 

[doc benway]

On 3/2/2025 at 6:04 AM, Maddie said:

THIS FORUM IS NOT A SAFE SPACE FOR TRANS PEOPLE.

 

I’m deeply sorry for your traumatic experience here.

I left the Current Events area after stepping down from the mod position.

It is heartbreaking when people I want to like and engage with show their willingness to turn a blind eye to the abject terror others are experiencing due to loss of rights, loss of safety, loss of humanity, loss of validation.

I will hold you in my heart, along with all people threatened by the current socio-political cruelty and the ignorance and apathy that enable it.

 

 

 

 

[old3bob]

 

yep, many to suffering and worse per "manifest destiny", radicalized maga or various forms of fascism.