Transgender Q&A

[Maddie]

28 minutes ago, Nungali said:

 

Thats what I want to know .  How young ?   She looks very young , especially in that last picture . I was hesitant to ask but now remember this is Q & A

 

Hey Maddie , how old are you ?

 

I'm a Daoist immoral 😌

[Apech]

1 hour ago, stirling said:

 

Strange but true, the author is actually a well-educated student of Lama Zopa Rinpoche, a highly respected Tibetan teacher, and has been since the early 70's.  I studied with both Landaw and Rinpoche in the early 2000's for a few years. Both know what they are talking about.

 

I was only teasing - I’m sure it’s great.

[stirling]

3 minutes ago, Apech said:

I was only teasing - I’m sure it’s great.

 

You could be forgiven for thinking otherwise, truly. It looks like all of the rest of those books from that period. I would have blindly  thought otherwise if I hadn't known the author. 

[Maddie]

3 minutes ago, stirling said:

 

You could be forgiven for thinking otherwise, truly. It looks like all of the rest of those books from that period. I would have blindly  thought otherwise if I hadn't known the author. 

 

It was good enough that when I was curious I decided to pursue Buddhism further.

[liminal_luke]

1 hour ago, Maddie said:

 

I'm a Daoist immoral 😌

 

Me too.  It´s tough not following precepts and all, but, on the bright side, we´re not bad Buddhists. Just look on the internet: those fellas know a thing or two about ethical lapses. Fortunately, you´re asexual which really cuts down on the suffering.  As for myself, it hurts when potential bootie callers claim they can´t find my apartment.  I keep telling them....go through the mysterious gate, go through the mysterious gate.  But they never do.  So I end up staying up all night beating the heavenly drum.  Seriously though, ya spend the best decades of your life traipsing through China in search of lost teachings, and then, when you´re finally old and wise, nobody wants to drink from your gourd.  Life sucks and then ya don´t die.   

Edited April 25 by liminal_luke

[surrogate corpse]

fwiw: starting estrogen takes about five years off your apparent age (source: two and a half years in, i look about two and a half years younger than when i started)

Edited April 25 by surrogate corpse

[Maddie]

48 minutes ago, surrogate corpse said:

fwiw: starting estrogen takes about five years off your apparent age (source: two and a half years in, i look about two and a half years younger than when i started)

 

It's definitely true.

[Taomeow]

3 hours ago, Nungali said:

 

Oh my goodness !   If I had been a girl and got dressed like that  ... I could see why I  would have wanted pants .  I would have even wanted ' normal girl clothes .   

 

My pants discomfort actually came at a later stage .   probably from all those tight  stiff levi jeans .   I probably would be more 'comfortable'  in a different era ;

 

 

98 cents for a pair of pants  !   

 

 

[Nungali]

So I thought .....  I ignored most protests at work about my 'true discipline '  but the baggy high waist pants thing ..... they hammered me on it !  One day everyone *  wore their pants very high  and paraded past me one by one  .

 

 

* even the  women on my crew , then my boss , then his mate ,  then people in Unit ... even Hugo Weaving  ( the bastard ! )  .   Keanu Reeves didnt ... but  he did managed to fracture his 'space ghost' expression with a  suppressed smirk .... I saw that buddy  ! 

 

 

 

 

 ^  people in N.Y. seemed to have it worked it out .

[surrogate corpse]

2 hours ago, Maddie said:

It's definitely true.

always a sinister little tinge of pleasure when a cis woman asks me for my skin care routine. sorry babe... i don't think it's available to you...

[Maddie]

7 hours ago, surrogate corpse said:

always a sinister little tinge of pleasure when a cis woman asks me for my skin care routine. sorry babe... i don't think it's available to you...

Granted I do take my skin care routine very seriously though. I moisturize frequently and I do cosmetic acupuncture. Additionally every day I take Jing tonics. Also it's completely up to you but if you want to share a selfie do feel free. 😊

Edited April 25 by Maddie

[blue eyed snake]

15 hours ago, liminal_luke said:

 

I´m not exactly sure what you mean (is the well asexuality or lesbian sex or a particular body part that will go unnamed?) but I´m just joking around.  

 

although some spiritually minded people would like to have their sexual lust taken away, somehow I think you are not one of them.

 

Mine was taken by some disease of the body and I do not like that one bit, take care you keep yours, don't increase the risk by jokingly talking about it..

[blue eyed snake]

14 hours ago, Nungali said:

 

Oh my goodness !   If I had been a girl and got dressed like that  ... I could see why I  would have wanted pants .  I would have even wanted ' normal girl clothes .   

 

My pants discomfort actually came at a later stage .   probably from all those tight  stiff levi jeans .   I probably would be more 'comfortable'  in a different era ;

 

 

98 cents for a pair of pants  !   

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

https://slate.com/human-interest/2015/11/tight-fitted-mens-clothing-how-male-fashion-went-from-drapey-to-taut.html

 

Tourniquet Trousers and Straining Armholes

Can men’s clothing possibly get any tighter?

 

 

 

 

mine were less frilly but even a nonfrilly dress is nasty climbing trees and such things as the skirt tends to catch on things. Plus I was a boy and boys wear pants, not dresses.

[liminal_luke]

Just now, blue eyed snake said:

 

although some spiritually minded people would like to have their sexual lust taken away, somehow I think you are not one of them.

 

Mine was taken by some disease of the body and I do not like that one bit, take care you keep yours, don't increase the risk by jokingly talking about it..

 

Oh, thank you for clarifying.  I really didn´t know what you meant.  And you´re right that I don´t want my sexual lust taken away.  

[blue eyed snake]

 In my case the body forced it on me by both hormonal changes, early menopause and thus deteriorating mucous membranes and an illness that lets my body react with allergy-like reaction to arousal.

 

also allergic to estrogens btw...

 

so I am a perfect celibate monk in my old age, not by choice though.

 

thinking on it, but not being male more like wondering. When you change the hormonal balance by taking estrogens and thus reducing the influence of testosteron. I guess it just follow that you're less inclined to want sex.

 

uhm...like of old you had eunuchs with their balls cut of, another way to drastically reduce testosteron and sexdrive.

 

or am i amiss with that thought?

 

I seem to remember there was some bible text about this too

[liminal_luke]

I have a question.  Is it better to refer to a transgender person as always having been the gender they transitioned into?  Is it OK when taking to a transgender woman, for instance, to say "when you were a boy..."?  

[surrogate corpse]

It is going to vary by person, but err on the side of referring to them by the gender they are, even when speaking about their past.

 

In terms of the "metaphysics" of it, there is a sense in which I "was once a boy" and a sense in which I "have always been a girl"—it's a complex messy history and which way I choose to speak depends on which aspect I want to highlight and what mix of feelings I'm having about it at any given time.

 

You can fairly well predict that any trans person has complex feelings about the time they had to spend living out a false gender. Better to be on the safe side and affirm your recognition of the gender they are, without calling attention to that history.

 

(You can also, of course, use a gender neutral term like "kid" or "child")

Edited April 25 by surrogate corpse

[surrogate corpse]

3 hours ago, Maddie said:

Granted I do take my skin care routine very seriously though. I moisturize frequently and I do cosmetic acupuncture. Additionally every day I take Jing tonics. Also it's completely up to you but if you want to share a selfie do feel free. 😊

you are wiser than i...

[liminal_luke]

10 minutes ago, surrogate corpse said:

It is going to vary by person, but err on the side of referring to them by the gender they are, even when speaking about their past.

 

In terms of the "metaphysics" of it, there is a sense in which I "was once a boy" and a sense in which I "have always been a girl"—it's a complex messy history and which way I choose to speak depends on which aspect I want to highlight and what mix of feelings I'm having about it at any given.

 

You can fairly well predict that any trans person has complex feelings about the time they had to spend living out a false gender. Better to be on the safe side and affirm your recognition of the gender they are, without calling attention to that history.

 

(You can also, of course, use a gender neutral term like "kid" or "child")

 

Thanks this issue came up with my mom´s partner and his transwoman daughter.  My mom´s partner wanted to share memories of his daughter´s childhood "when she was a boy."  This didn´t go over well.  He´d saved a bunch of childhood toys for her and she didn´t want them, seemed to want to disavow her past.  This was understandably difficult for my mom´s partner.

[surrogate corpse]

I have certainly offended my mother before by telling her how I really feel about my childhood. She has, and is welcome to have, whatever fond memories of it she likes. But my memories—when they exist at all—are mostly of a suffering I could not articulate, both for lack of the words to shape it and lack of trust in those around me to understand me if I did find the words.

[Maddie]

1 hour ago, liminal_luke said:

I have a question.  Is it better to refer to a transgender person as always having been the gender they transitioned into?  Is it OK when taking to a transgender woman, for instance, to say "when you were a boy..."?  

 

That is how I refer to myself, so sample size of one says yes lol. 

 

"one time back when I was a boy" makes me think "this one time at band camp"

Edited April 25 by Maddie

[Maddie]

This I suppose is a good topic for the old transgender thread. Personally I feel like my relationship to my old boy life is more positive than a lot of other transwomen. I think one reason is that I was so suppressed for so long I just thought I was a boy and didn't really question it for a long time. So it's hard to hate something that you thought you were ok with at the time. 

  The other thing is that while obviously I didn't ultimately feel comfortable as a boy, I didn't hate myself. I practiced self compassion even back then and I think that helped a lot. Besides now I have the unique perspective of seeing life from both points of view and that is something most people don't have. People seem to be fascinated when I tell them how life as a boy was verses life as a girl. 

Edited April 25 by Maddie

[Apech]

1 hour ago, surrogate corpse said:

you are wiser than i...

Thany you but your bookcase is not in focus.

[blue eyed snake]

59 minutes ago, Maddie said:

Besides now I have the unique perspective of seeing life from both points of view and that is something most people don't have.

 

I remember guys always saying I did understand their point of view much better then other women and that they experienced that as helpful. 

 

I think the indigenous people of america said that 2 spirit people can be a bridge between the 2 sexes  when those trouble each other.

[blue eyed snake]

2 hours ago, blue eyed snake said:

uhm...like of old you had eunuchs with their balls cut of, another way to drastically reduce testosteron and sexdrive.

 

or am i amiss with that thought?

 

I seem to remember there was some bible text about this too

 

found it, Matthew 19-12

 

Quote

“For there are eunuchs who were born so from their mother's womb and there are eunuchs who became eunuchs by men and there are those who have made themselves eunuchs for the cause of the Kingdom of Heaven. Whoever can receive it let him receive it.”

 

in my motherlanguage it says something like: he who can understand it, let him understand. With an undertone of" this is not easy to understand/grasp, but some people will understand."

 

I read it as: some guys are so devoted to the spiritual path that they will cut off their balls to e totally devoted to their path.

ergo, they are not distracted anymore by arousal and lust and wet dreams

https://biblehub.com/matthew/19-12.htm

 

so, very different the transitioning but same lowering of testosteron and loss of libido due to that.