Transgender Q&A

[liminal_luke]

2 minutes ago, Maddie said:

 

I don't know any other trans people in real life but I do talk to many online.

 

Is it hard to make in-person trans friends in Texas?  My best friends live in Palm Springs, a city so gay ya can´t throw an acupuncture needle without hitting a queen.  There´s a special feeling of camaraderie hanging out with my gay gringo tribe that I miss here in Mexico.  

[Maddie]

1 minute ago, liminal_luke said:

 

Is it hard to make in-person trans friends in Texas?  My best friends live in Palm Springs, a city so gay ya can´t throw an acupuncture needle without hitting a queen.  There´s a special feeling of camaraderie hanging out with my gay gringo tribe that I miss here in Mexico.  

 

I don't know but I'm a hermit, it don't hang out with anyone lol. Also the acupuncture needle thing was hilarious lol. 

 

Most of the trans people that have wanted to "hang out" with me had more than "hanging out" in mind, so pass lol. 

Edited May 3 by Maddie

[liminal_luke]

Just now, Maddie said:

 

Most of the trans people that have wanted to "hang out" with me had more than "hanging out" in mind, so pass lol. 

 

That happens with us gay folk too, as I´m sure you can imagine, but not so much as some would like.

[Maddie]

2 minutes ago, liminal_luke said:

 

That happens with us gay folk too, as I´m sure you can imagine, but not so much as some would like.

 

Yeah there are gay trans people too and they seem to have no filter lol. 

 

*ok that was a bit of a general blanket statement, what I meant to say is that the ones that want to spend time with me have no filter and are gay. 

Edited May 3 by Maddie

[liminal_luke]

2 minutes ago, Maddie said:

 

Yeah there are gay trans people too and they seem to have no filter lol. 

 

*ok that was a bit of a general blanket statement, what I meant to say is that the ones that want to spend time with me have no filter and are gay. 

 

Sometimes all ya can do is forgive, ourselves and others.  It´s not like we can stop being alluring. 

[Apech]

49 minutes ago, Maddie said:

 

I think this again goes back to sex verses gender, which Jadeprick does not seem to understand or want to understand. 

Calling him jadeprick and not jadespear is a rule violation and undermines your argument.  Also I would say that a large percentage of people don’t understand the difference between gender and sex.  I don’t know if they want to understand or not but it isn’t a crime not to.

[Maddie]

13 minutes ago, Apech said:

Calling him jadeprick and not jadespear is a rule violation and undermines your argument.  Also I would say that a large percentage of people don’t understand the difference between gender and sex.  I don’t know if they want to understand or not but it isn’t a crime not to.

 

22 hours ago, Jadespear said:

 

...you seem to be confusing truth and fiction.  Feeling and fact.  

 

You're not a woman, no matter what you do.  Spiritually speaking - no one is either. 

 

This is not what someone says when they are trying to understand. 

[Apech]

5 minutes ago, Maddie said:

 

 

This is not what someone says when they are trying to understand. 

There is no compulsion to understand or even to try - he has his view and that’s his right ( which everyone has) .

[Maddie]

3 minutes ago, Apech said:

There is no compulsion to understand or even to try - he has his view and that’s his right ( which everyone has) .

 

Of course he can have his view, but its a completely different thing when he comes into a Q&A trans thread, not asking a question mind you, but just being a jerk. 

Edited May 3 by Maddie

[Maddie]

32 minutes ago, Apech said:

Calling him jadeprick and not jadespear is a rule violation and undermines your argument.  Also I would say that a large percentage of people don’t understand the difference between gender and sex.  I don’t know if they want to understand or not but it isn’t a crime not to.

 

Why do you have more issue with me calling him a prick than him acting like one?

[silent thunder]

Wow.  Just wow.

 

[Apech]

15 minutes ago, Maddie said:

 

Why do you have more issue with me calling him a prick than him acting like one?

I used to be a moderator and it is one of the basic rules - no ad hominem attacks.  

[Apech]

9 minutes ago, silent thunder said:

Wow.  Just wow.

 

What does this mean?

[Maddie]

1 minute ago, Apech said:

I used to be a moderator and it is one of the basic rules - no ad hominem attacks.  

 

Transphobic comments are not allowed. How come you didn't say anything about that?

Edited May 3 by Maddie

[silent thunder]

3 minutes ago, Apech said:

What does this mean?

Live in the mystery.

[Apech]

6 minutes ago, Maddie said:

 

Transphobic comments are not allowed. How come you didn't say anything about that?

You didn’t say anything transphobic.

[Maddie]

Just now, Apech said:

You didn’t say anything transphobic.

 

The guy I was responding to sure did and you didn't say anything to him about what he said. How come?

[silent thunder]

Just now, Maddie said:

 

The guy I was responding to sure did and you didn't say anything to him about what he said. How come?

Because they're comfortable with a certain level of transphobia and probably aren't aware of it, or are clever enough to cover it with well chosen speech? 

 

Asking for a friend.

[liminal_luke]

 

This seemed like the right moment to share my favorite movie clip.  I often feel like Harold arriving late to the party.  Life´s tough.  I hope we´ll be easy with each other.

[Maddie]

Since this is a trans Q&A, maybe we should cover some of the basics about what's a question and what's not, and what's transphobic and what's not. 

 

1. Is the fact that you were born a different sex than the gender that you currently identify with an issue for you? Is a question, and it's not transphobic. 

 

2. You will never be a woman, is not a question. It's a statement. It's also transphobic. 

 

3. Can you please pass the cheese, is a question, and it's not transphobic. 

 

4. I don't understand how you could be born a male and identify as a female could you please elaborate? Is a question, and it's not transphobic.

 

5. I don't like coconuts. Is not a question, and it's not transphobic. (Unless you suspect that the coconuts are transgendered coconuts and you don't like them for that) reason).

 

Any questions?

Edited May 4 by Maddie

[stirling]

I don't have a boat in this race, but appreciate both Maddie's presence here, and believe in the freedom we all have to adopt whatever identity suits us, gender or otherwise. I think Maddie is of great service here, giving us an opportunity to question our concreted ideas in the presence of someone who has been very human and vulnerable with us.

 

I think that what is telling about us as people is our level of kindness. When we feel threatened we get angry or fearful. Self-preservation of our personal identity and adopted beliefs feels at stake. Loving kindness, on the other hand, comes from a feeling of safety and compassion for the suffering of others. I like this board because it seems for the most part kindness wins here.

 

So, when to say something? What to say? When in doubt, I have found this is a guideline useful.

 

Quote

"Monks, a statement endowed with five factors is well-spoken, not ill-spoken. It is blameless & unfaulted by knowledgeable people. Which five?

 

"It is spoken at the right time. It is spoken in truth. It is spoken affectionately. It is spoken beneficially. It is spoken with a mind of good-will.

 

"A statement endowed with these five factors is well-spoken, not ill-spoken. It is blameless & unfaulted by knowledgeable people."

 

- Buddha, Vacca Sutta

 

I wish I followed it more often.

[Maddie]

I noticed a lot of the Buddha's statements seem rather obvious when you think about them but that's the point a lot of people don't think about them so here's one to think about. 

 

Why do people get so bent out of shape over other people changing their gender??

Edited May 4 by Maddie

[Apech]

3 hours ago, Maddie said:

 

The guy I was responding to sure did and you didn't say anything to him about what he said. How come?

Both you and silent thunder had already reported him by the time I read his post.

[Apech]

3 hours ago, silent thunder said:

Because they're comfortable with a certain level of transphobia and probably aren't aware of it, or are clever enough to cover it with well chosen speech? 

 

Asking for a friend.

I considered reporting this hateful slur but I will in the circumstances let it pass.  

[silent thunder]

For Maddie.

woman waking

Edited May 4 by silent thunder