Cadcam

Psychotic behavior resulting from occult study.

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46 minutes ago, Sherman Krebbs said:

You two fight like a married couple (questioning the usefulness of this back and forth for the rest of the shopping mall)

 

I know.  Passions run deep for us.  Perhaps we were lovers in a past life.  Or maybe these are growing pains.  Either way, I've acknowledged what you're describing here in this thread:  LINK.  Ultimately, I can and should only be expected to be true to my self, to my own individual soul.  And the same for my dance partner.  I never quit, and neither does he.

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Posted (edited)
23 minutes ago, Cobie said:


:lol: Thread title “Psychotic behaviour….” :P

 

No, Love.  Nungali and I are compulsive/obsessive.  If we were psychotic, it would be a lot more fun for yourself and the onlooking crowd.

 

Edited by Daniel

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It's difficult to explain the hallucinations that I went through and how the occult, mysticism,  magic, philosophy and superstition created them. It was a combination of my supernatural experiences, dreams, and reading that created them. That, plus the physical imbalance that I have. 

 

I not only endured these, I also experienced events that defy reality. I've had things stolen from me by supernatural forces, they have spit on me and broken my glasses. 

 

It's a very frustrating thing to know there is someone there doing these things to me that don't answer to me.

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18 minutes ago, Cadcam said:

It's a very frustrating thing to know there is someone there doing these things to me that don't answer to me.

 

Are there any other possible explanations?  Any.  Be creative.  What else could it be?

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one very physical reason for hallucinations is a B12 deficiency 

 

and do not think hallucinations  are the same as a psychosis, they're not

being psychotic you do have hallucinations and more, its horrible 

 

were hallucinations can be nice

 

---------

 

same sort of mistake as

 

a sparrow is a bird, thus birds are same as sparrows

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3 hours ago, Daniel said:

 

Are there any other possible explanations?  Any.  Be creative.  What else could it be?

Idk Daniel. I would love to believe these things were fantasy, but they did happen. 

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3 hours ago, blue eyed snake said:

one very physical reason for hallucinations is a B12 deficiency 

 

and do not think hallucinations  are the same as a psychosis, they're not

being psychotic you do have hallucinations and more, its horrible 

 

 

Oh, no, I definitely was psychotic,  for many months. Had me running in circles. I think back... and I'm just shocked and terrified.  So many stories.

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i did not read the whole thread, only the last part of it. 

 

yes, psychosis can be terrifying, that is what makes it different from hallucinations, 

i've had hallucinations for decades, could be interesting, or weird, or slightly disturbing, but never terrifying. Also it was clear it was not "real" it was not shared reality, it were hallucinations. 

 

you out of it now?

 

 

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3 hours ago, Cadcam said:

Idk Daniel. I would love to believe these things were fantasy, but they did happen. 

 

What else besides fantasy?  Be creative.  What else could it be?  

 

Not fantasy.

Not An invisible person who won't answer.

 

What else?

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3 hours ago, Cadcam said:

and I'm just shocked and terrified.  So many stories.

 

~nods~

 

It is terrifying isn't it.  If there's any consolation, no one else is going to dwell on it like you are.  What ever happened, if those events are perhaps, a  little shocking?   Anyone else who witnessed them,? For them, it is probably out of sight out of mind.  

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2 hours ago, Daniel said:

 

What else besides fantasy?  Be creative.  What else could it be?  

 

Not fantasy.

Not An invisible person who won't answer.

 

What else?

Idk, what do you suggest?

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Posted (edited)
On 7/17/2024 at 9:01 AM, Daniel said:

 

Anytime you use a Hebrew or Aramaic word that is in the area of my expertise.  Anytime you use a diagram which includes 10 circles and 22 paths linking them, that is in the area of my expertise.  Judaism, all of it, its history, its rules, the philosophy of the varying Jewish sages and philosophers is in the area of my expertise.  Hermetics and Western Magical Tradition borrows a great deal from these subjects.  And that is where our conflict generally arises. 

 

And that , Daniel was your original problem ... to be ever so boring I will say it again ,  I was talking hermetics and you popped up with a  comment and I clearly said what I was talking about WAS hermetic kabbalah  and not traditional Jewish kabbalah . You said you where  glad I pointed out the difference .  I noted back then that  there where often complaints due to some of the source material , a 'cultural appropriation' as some see it .  Now we see this is clearly the issue .

 

Hermetics is an eclectic hodge podge , but we dont get Greeks saying, "hey thats OUR philosophy' , or angry Zoroastrians  arguing with us . It comes from the Alexandrian Synthesis in Egypt and Judaism and some of its systems where included .

 

As far as bitchin about who has interest in, studies (whatever form ), or even mentions kabbalah , those that have trad Jewish cred  dont even approve of Jews studying it ! It is a highly exclusive and closed off domain to the majority of Jews , and unless you are one of those  highly specialized ones  ALLOWED to study and comment on it, under your own rules for your own version , you should not even be talking about it.

 

Answer us this;    Do you have that authority in Judaism ? 

 

Regrading  'any ' Tree of Life that you consider your domain , even with this you muffed it . You probably dont remember  but when you bought up this claim before about it  I asked you WHICH traditional form of the tree are you talking about (as you know as well as I do historically there have been  different forms of the JEWISH Tree of Life ) .

 

Surprise surprise , Daniel didnt answer , ignored the thread and went off to another one to try and make masking controversy there .

 

 

If you were to remain in Greek and Egyptian mythology without using anything Jewish at all, then, I would never cross you. But that is very difficult to do.  Your understanding of Hermetics and Western Occult practices use Hebrew and Aramaic words, and concepts borrowed from Judaism.  Even simple pathworking cannot occur without borrowing from Judaism.  You would never have 10 "angels" and 22 "paths".  And the angel names are in Hebrew.  Everyone wants the Hebrew names. 

 

Actually they dont , that is exactly what turns off a lot of people from  Hermetic Kabbalah ,  fortunately they can be substituted for more appropriate cultural  formulas , and I recommend that .

 

But thats just the way hermetics developed  ... and its behind the whole western occult and esoteric knowledge base . I understand many Jews bitch  about this  , which is why I understand and made the original distinction in the first place . 

 

I just answered a question last week from a frustrated student who paid for a kabalah course but the teacher didn't give them a list of the angels or the  pronunciation of the angel's names.  Of course I provided them.  Not that the names do them any good.  But, I helped them none the less and let them know I was available if they needed more help.


 

So ?   I could have provided the same answers ... but I would not have , I would have told them to go on the many internet sources or books and look it up themselves instead of being lazy and wanted to be spoon fed .  Or even to ASK their teacher .

 

Well, who knows what this frustrated student  was or what system they where involved in . I can certainly agree there are dodgy 'kabbalist ' copy cat of Judaism systems out there ... some are taught by JEWS !   I am sure you know that , pop Kabbalah is big money nowadays .  Thats why I make the clear distinction I do with  hermetic kabbalah .

 

Besides, I'd venture to say this student is an idiot, or lazy , those names are so easy to look up !  I guess they where being used to being spoon fed and learning from you tubes .  Also if you knew more about HERMETIC kabbalah and correspondences you would know that the Hebrew angel names are just one set of correspondences, there are other angels and God names associated to the patterns in the Tree .   Sacrilege for some, yes .    But thats not how we see it , as hermetics isnt a religion, as such, it is more of a  an occult eclectic  'science' .

 

And of course it doesnt rely on Hebrew , religion or their angels exclusively .... have you ever heard oi Enochian ?  A whole different system of angels , their names , their pathways and patterns of creation .

 

Dont worry Daniel, I think we all acknowledge that you are the expert here in your specific field .

 

if you want to continue discussing this , and have us stop annoying other readers  who dont like this subject matter  you should move it to  another thread  in esoteric.  If you really do want to stop then actually DO put me on ignore . If  you want to continue the  cultural  appropriation outrage, move it to Abrahamic forum ... there I can counter your arguments about  hermetics being invalid ( or whatever your issue is ) as the 'original form 'is in Judaism  by showing historically that whole  construction of Judaism itself is actually a made up and borrowed  hotch potch of other cultures itself !

 

Extreme example of pot calling kettle black, methinks .

 

So there  :P

 

Edited by Nungali

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14 hours ago, Sherman Krebbs said:

You two fight like a married couple (questioning the usefulness of this back and forth for the rest of the shopping mall)

 

I used to  do that on purpose ; start a fake argument with my wife about some product or  something and when people stop to listen and pretend to examine the label  of a can  , I turn on them ; " Thats right ! Stand around and listen to my marriage breaking up ! I hope you enjoy it !  "    Then they would scamper off .

 

I dont like it when others annoy me at the supermarket  .... I have a habit of smacking other people's children when they muck up there .

 

B)

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3 minutes ago, Nungali said:

 

I used to  do that on purpose ; start a fake argument with my wife about some product or  something and when people stop to listen and pretend to examine the label  of a can  , I turn on them ; " Thats right ! Stand around and listen to my marriage breaking up ! I hope you enjoy it !  "    Then they would scamper off .

 

I dont like it when others annoy me at the supermarket  .... I have a habit of smacking other people's children when they muck up there .

 

B)

Really?

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11 minutes ago, NaturaNaturans said:

Really?

 

Well, the first part , yes .  But not the smack other people's children part  .

 

My wife had a weird sense of humor , like me . She  is German and very 'tall and 'stallwart' seeming ... and good at suppressing a laugh.

 

I never had an actual fight or even argument with her . Before we got married  she would say , " With my long legs , I just run and you never catch me ."   She was right ,  it was surprising how fast she could zoom along . "

 

of course I did eventually end up  'catching her '  . ;) 

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49 minutes ago, Cadcam said:

Idk, what do you suggest?

 

idk,  I don't know anything about it other than glasses are broken, and what else?  

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Posted (edited)
58 minutes ago, Nungali said:

Do you have that authority in Judaism ? 

 

What authority?  If there is a word which is mistranslated, it doesn't matter if it's coming from a book by and for greek hermetists or secular academics.  The word is mistranslated.

 

If there is anything which is supposed to be a "Tree of Life" and the diagram is wrong or nonsensical, If I can show you that it is nonsensical and the original version is better, that should be welcome. 

 

I looked at something yesterday some table of correspondences that was attributed to Crowley?  It was a disaster when it came to the Hebrew words chosen.  Again, If I can show you that the original is better, then it should be welcome.  

 

Edited by Daniel

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8 hours ago, Nungali said:

" Thats right ! Stand around and listen to my marriage breaking up ! I hope you enjoy it !  "   

 

mmm, look these Fava beans....  Oh jeeze mister...  suppose I need to go get some coffee.   Kids, quick... 

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Posted (edited)
18 hours ago, Nungali said:

what I was talking about WAS hermetic kabbalah 

 

Nungali, whatever you're talking about, it doesn't matter.  Let me make this simple.  If I see you are driving your car with four flat tires, I am compelled to say something.  If you get insulted, fine, I'll leave you alone.  On the other hand, if you start giving out bad advice, yes I will be there to correct you, for the sake of individual who is getting poor advice.  If you explicitly or implicitly state you will be doing magic, an exorcism, on someone without their consent, I will object to that, and probably report it. 

 

Done.  End of discussion.  

 

Edited by Daniel

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Posted (edited)
34 minutes ago, Cadcam said:

Can't stand how my head feels. Hard to explain. 

 

Hope you feel better Cadcam.  I recommend seeing a psychiatrist if you aren´t already doing that, or at least getting medically checked out however you can.  My partner has a psychotic disorder and is feeling some relief with the keto diet.  I´d definitely go to a psychiatrist first but the keto diet might be something to consider as a lifestyle add-on.  Here´s some info: Metabolic Mind.  In general, I think standard good health practices go a long way -- eating good food, getting some exercise, time outdoors, talking with other people rather than isolating.

Edited by liminal_luke
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Thank you for the concern, and the tips. I'm all cried out over it. Realizing life is not a safe place always.  I sometimes just want to cease to exist 

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1 minute ago, Cadcam said:

Thank you for the concern, and the tips. I'm all cried out over it. Realizing life is not a safe place always.  I sometimes just want to cease to exist 

 

I´ve been there.  If you have a supportive person in your life you can talk to I recommend hanging out -- in person or by phone.  Lots of people call suicide prevention hotlines just to talk, so that´s an option too.  It´s always good to take suicidal thoughts seriously, even if you´re not actually planning on hurting yourself.  It´s a very painful experience.  Hope you feel better soon.  I´m thinking of you and sending you my best wishes.

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