Lukks

I want to learn Loving-Kindness Meditation(metta)

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Hello :)

 

Can someone give me a good source for learning Loving-Kindness Meditation(metta)?

 

I accept books, masters, paid courses, free courses, just give the best you have, let's make this post useful for others who also want to learn it and share love with the world :)

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I love Ajahn Brahm's work.  He's wonderful at explaining the traditional in a modern way with a sense of humor.  I was going to send a whole bunch of links but googling 'Ajahn Brahms metta meditation' give you a long list- writing from Lion's Roar magazine, Guided Metta Meditation from various Buddhist societies and Youtube.  

 

He's been writing about metta meditations for decades.  He acknowledges that its hard and has beginners work on sending love and kindness to things that are easy, that they already like or love.  Then you build up to harder subjects like the people you can't stand.  He teaches with experience, depth and humor.  

 

 

add-on confession> One thing I've had against metta meditation is that I don't think sending good thoughts and love to another at a distance does much for them.  Maybe that's not the point, perhaps its for the sitter, a chance to calm down, get perspective and rid of the garbage thoughts. 

Edited by thelerner
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I don't know any good sources in book or course form personally, but I applaud the effort. I need more metta. I think we all need more metta. From my POV, this is exactly what the board is often missing. The most striking thing about advanced practitioners I've met is the natural radiance of metta. 

 

One thing I would suggest is that whatever the source, an important tip is to feel the metta, it whatever form it arises, usually in the heart area. Some people repeat phrases or visualize it, which is fine but I think and have been taught it is more important to cultivate the feeling. It may sometimes be barely felt, but like tending to a little a fire it will expand. 

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One caution I want to mention is to be aware of the possibility that this sort of practice may become an abstraction, a spiritual bypass.

It is easy to think we feel unconditional love and compassion for "all sentient beings" at an intellectual, conceptual level.

Far more challenging to actually feel that way in the heart, in the gut, especially with people with whom we have emotional history. There are too many practitioners who love all sentient beings with all of their heart but won't talk to an estranged sibling, or get very emotionally reactive to a parent or child or an ex.

 

One suggestion I have is to focus this sort of loving-kindness practice on those closest to us first, then it tends to be more genuine and it leads to more meaningful and tangible positive change in our lives. Start with people we really love unconditionally, or at least with fewer conditions. As we get better at it and it feels more natural, we can then extend the practice to those who challenge us, even to those we despise. The key for me is empathy. Once we can release the reactivity and feel open and warm with our family and friends, especially those who set us off, and with ourselves; it's relatively easy to love strangers, all sentient beings, but it doesn't necessarily work the other way around. 

 

 

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See if you can go and sit for 10 days at a Vippasana centre. Then give back by volunteering for the next 10 days. 

 

When you sit you have so much time for Metta, although that's not the main focus, you will certainly be able to generate it very well.

 

When you work, you will have access to many books there, mostly written by Monks from the Burmese lineage (Dhamma Dipa in the UK have a great little library, hopefully all centres do)

 

When you work you will also have many many hours opportunity to generate Metta while being in service to the others sitting.

You will still get to meditate for a few hours per day too, in silence and stillness formally with the rest of the group. 

 

I highly reccomend... 

 

They have centres all over the world, here is the UK portal...

uk.dhamma.org

 

Be happy, be peaceful, be liberated...

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A few more tips occurred to me. Regarding using the easier sentient beings first, some of the easiest include animals, especially if you have a pet. 

 

An interesting thing for me is that by studying oneself, an insight begins to open for other beings. Seeing how our delusions form into hindrances and cause suffering, we get first hand experience of how suffering arises for us, and how we want happiness. At some point, we begin to see these same patterns in others--- but we know that others, like us, are struggling to be happy and free and are only acting out of ignorance. This makes it easier to extend compassion to more difficult people. 

 

 

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On 10/09/2024 at 9:49 PM, Lukks said:

Hello :)

 

Can someone give me a good source for learning Loving-Kindness Meditation(metta)?

 

I accept books, masters, paid courses, free courses, just give the best you have, let's make this post useful for others who also want to learn it and share love with the world :)

 

 

One of the benefits of this practice, according to Sharon Salzberg, is that it would easy to evaluate your progress because the Buddha apparently listed the "siddhis" that you'd develop as side-effects if you're practicing it correctly.

 

Quote

 

1. You will sleep easily.

2. You will wake easily.

3. You will have pleasant dreams.

4. People will love you.

5. Devas [celestial beings] and animals will love you.

6. Devas will protect you.

7. External dangers [poisons, weapons, and fire] will not harm you.

8. Your face will be radiant.

9. Your mind will be serene.

10. You will die unconfused.

11. You will be reborn in happy realms.

 

Source: Salzberg, S. (1995). Loving-Kindness. Shambhalla Publications Inc. p. 51.

 

 

 

 

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Does anyone else use Thankyou to activate loving kindness.

 

I find it’s the easiest way. Just by saying Thankyou things tends to snowball and turn into a mega practice of deep appreciation and love. 
 

Then once the feeling is in place it kind of glows by itself without much need of encouragement, just being with it.

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On 9/10/2024 at 1:49 PM, Lukks said:

Hello :)

 

Can someone give me a good source for learning Loving-Kindness Meditation(metta)?

 

I accept books, masters, paid courses, free courses, just give the best you have, let's make this post useful for others who also want to learn it and share love with the world :)

We all have two entities in us; one lures us with the seemingly easier path of self-deception, selfishness and ego.  The other one gently whispers the seemingly harder path of love, caring and calm.  The heart grows or shrinks depending on which one you nourish the most.

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On 9/10/2024 at 1:49 PM, Lukks said:

Can someone give me a good source for learning Loving-Kindness Meditation(metta)?

I accept books, masters, paid courses, free courses, just give the best you have, let's make this post useful for others who also want to learn it and share love with the world :)


The good source is within your heart.
Love and kindness comes within your heart. You just think like it and act like it by self discipline. That is your best source! :)

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22 hours ago, ChiDragon said:


The good source is within your heart.
Love and kindness comes within your heart. You just think like it and act like it by self discipline. That is your best source! :)

I find it easier if I’m practicing materially with emphasis on defensive intention then more relaxed and love is easier to generate. With softness and helping develop song too right?

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7 minutes ago, Thrice Daily said:

I find it easier if I’m practicing materially with emphasis on defensive intention then more relaxed and love is easier to generate. With softness and helping develop song too right?

Right, this is what was called 武德, the virtue of martial arts.

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16 minutes ago, ChiDragon said:

Right, this is what was called 武德, the virtue of martial arts.

Wu De? 😎 Martial Ethics… 

 

I mean something else though. I mean as you flow with your martial arts physically training. 
 

If you are busy striking it is generally more difficult to simultaneously generate metta. Switching to defensive posturing and movements changes the nervous system I think 

 

to such an extent Meta is possible.

 

Try it in your Taiji, it is martial also no? Or is yours solely for health. 
 

For me I am mostly concerned with defending the mother line so focus is typically on attack and defence of a description…

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17 minutes ago, Thrice Daily said:

Wu De? 😎 Martial Ethics… 

I mean something else though. I mean as you flow with your martial arts physically training. 

 

If you are busy striking it is generally more difficult to simultaneously generate metta. Switching to defensive posturing and movements changes the nervous system I think 

 

to such an extent Meta is possible.

 

Try it in your Taiji, it is martial also no? Or is yours solely for health. 
For me I am mostly concerned with defending the mother line so focus is typically on attack and defence of a description…


Okay! I think I know what you are getting at!
Wu De is the virtue of martial arts. That is the reservation of a master to a certain extent not to hurt someone in a fight. By letting the opponent know that he could be hurt badly but the master won't make it happen. I think that is what you meant by metta.


In martial arts, the primary thing is to practice the forms to enhance the strength of the physical body. One must have a healthy and strong body for combat. Secondary is to think about defensive fighting rather then offensive. If one wants to learn martial arts for offensive fighting to begin with, then one has taken a wrong first footstep.
 
Yes, Taiji comes with both health and martial features whether I like it or not. I may not have the fighting experience but I do have the fighting strength to defend myself.

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15 minutes ago, ChiDragon said:


Okay! I think I know what you are getting at!
Wu De is the virtue of martial arts. That is the reservation of a master to a certain extent not to hurt someone in a fight. By letting the opponent know that he could be hurt badly but the master won't make it happen. I think that is what you meant by metta.


In martial arts, the primary thing is to practice the forms to enhance the strength of the physical body. One must have a healthy and strong body for combat. Secondary is to think about defensive fighting rather then offensive. If one wants to learn martial arts for offensive fighting to begin with, then one has taken a wrong first footstep.
 
Yes, Taiji comes with both health and martial features whether I like it or not. I may not have the fighting experience but I do have the fighting strength to defend myself.

If I could like that twice I would.

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Cool , can I share so more people catch it.  

 

Contemplation & Visualizationof Unselfish Love

 
Part of this exercise involves feeling Unselfish Love for someone you don’t like.Some of the people you don’t like may deserve your feelings, they may be bad, or have done terrible things. This exercise is not intended to help you accept or “be alright with” the negative personality, lifestyle, or actions that some beings have created for themselves. Or to get you in the mental disposition to allow them back into your life. It is to get you to let go of them in an Unselfishly Loving manner, and also get you to relate to the essential being, the spiritual spark inside them, and still love& care for that. We can, and should have compassion for the spirits of those whose choices have led them into patterns of destruction and suffering. If we don’t, we are having a spiritual crisis ourselves. But we don’t want to personally accept those choices as “alright”.

To begin this visualization meditation, ask yourself the following questions -and answer them: “What is Unselfish Love?”; “What does it mean to be Unselfishly Loving?”; “Am I always Loving Unselfishly?” (and if the answer to that is no, think about the most recent situations in which you haven’t loved Unselfishly, and go onto the next question); “Why did I not Love Unselfishly in that situation?”s Once you have thought about it, let go of the thought about why you didn’t Love Unselfishly.Why? The reason why you did not Love Unselfishly is not as important as making sure you will Love Unselfishly from now on. Now, again think about the situation in which you were not Unselfishly Loving. Completely visualize it again in your mind, only this time, visualize yourself being Unselfishly Loving, and visualize theresults of that.

Finally, ask yourself “What should I be doing to express/manifest Unselfish Love all the time?”. Ask the Universal Spirit, the One, “What would you have medo?”. And do an affirmation like, “I am Unselfishly Loving”.

Start by “calling up” the feeling and concept of Unselfish Love. Do this by visualizing someone you have the most Unselfish Love for. It could be a child, parent, great friend, dog, relative, etc.. But if you have a teacher or a “personified ideal”, who Unselfishly Loves you also, that is who you should start with. Feel the Unselfish Love. Feel their Unselfish Love for you, and/or your Unselfish Love for them. While you are holding on to that feeling, think of someone you like but haven’t really felt Unselfish Love for. Feel Unselfish Love for the essence of that person - their spirit. Now think of someone you don’t like. Feel Unselfish Love for their spirit also. If they have done something hurtful, or harmful, that is in excusable to you, be sure you only extend your feeling to their essence, their spirit, their Inner Being. Then expand your love to embrace everyone and everything you can conceive of.
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